Holly Benner

As a child I grew up in a Protestant family which consisted of my Father, Mother and five older brothers.  I was the only girl and the youngest.  My family only attended church a few times when I was a very young child so I don't have much recollection of this period. As a teenager I went though difficult periods which many teenagers do.  But, for me it was even more difficult because I had no relationship with God.
 
When I turned twenty I met my husband who was working with me.  For him it was just a college job but for me it was more, it was stability, something I longed for.  After a few years of dating we decided to marry.  Since I wasn't a member of a church we decided to marry in the Christ UCC church which my husband was raised in.  We attended this church together when we were dating but only on Easter and Christmas, once in awhile we would attend Ash Wednesday services.  I never wanted to become a member of his church because I felt that I didn't need religion in my life, I didn't feel as if I were at HOME.
 
My life continued, neglecting to know God and his love for me until I was in my early thirties. 
It was at this time my life was about to change forever.   I was married for 8 years and pregnant with my only child, at this time the worst suffering on my life was about to begin.  On June 1, 1996 my mother fell ill from a minor stroke.  June 1st I turned 32, her stroke was on my birthday.  My mother was my best friend so I suffered dearly from her illness.  I tried to care for her as best as I possible could considering that I was pregnant and due the end of November.  My mother recovered from her stroke and was released from the hospital the end of June.  At this time I started to have difficulties with my pregnancy from all the stress.  On August 27, 1996 the stress became worse; my mother had a severe stroke which took her life.  I was devastated!  I didn't know where to turn for comfort.  A woman who had been my boss for 10 years was very dear to me and a fallen away Catholic.  Throughout ours years working together we shared my stories of her life as a Catholic and my life with no religion, I guess you could say that she was trying to teach me about God.
It was that dear friend that I turned too for support, perhaps it was her catholic knowledge of knowing Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament that not only comforted me but intrigued me.  Her words had touched my heart so deeply. She tried to teach me to pray, pray for the first time in my life and I was struggling.  I didn't know how or to whom I should pray.  I was completely lost.
 
After Eva's birth, November 1, 1996 (which Joan told me she was born on All Saints Day and my response was "what's that") we decided to have her baptized in my husband's church (my husband was baptized and confirmed in the UCC Church as a child) but I continued going about my life refusing to know God, my suffering was getting worse. Because I didn't have a relationship with God I was struggling with my mother’s death, this was causing me severe anguish.
 
After going through about 1 1/2 of suffering my life wasn't getting any better at this time my marriage was having many difficulties.  Through the emotional support of my friend Joan I decided it was time to get to know this God of ours, I wanted my suffering to end and I felt that I couldn't raise my daughter the way I was raised.  I didn't want to leave this earth without my child knowing that there was a God she could turn too for peace.  I wanted to know God and I wanted my daughter to know God.  I told my husband that I wanted to attend church, he thought that I wanted to attended his but I did not.  I asked him to attend a Catholic church but he refused, so we attended some Lutheran churches.  This was fine for my husband but I still didn't feel like I belonged, I still didn't feel like I was at home.  I continued to ask my husband to attend Catholic churches and he continued to refuse.  Eventually my daughter and I attended a Catholic church on our own (St. Anne's in Bethlehem) through the recommendation of my neighbor (Marie O'Connors) who has been a member of this parish for many years.  Marie is an elderly woman who came into my life after we moved into our neighborhood.  Marie's husband of 50 some years passed away not to long before my knowing her.  (Later I would find out why God sent her to me). 
 
Eva and I attended Mass at St. Anne's and never stopped.  I felt at home from the time I walked in.  I now realize that I felt at home because my Jesus was there and its that same Jesus that wanted me to open my heart to his love for me. 
 
September 1998 I joined the RCIA program at St. Anne's, it was at this time I ask my neighbor Marie to Sponsor me, and asked her if she would consider being my God Mother when I received my first Sacrament, my baptism.  I can still feel the tears when I think about that most precious time in my life – 32 years old and being baptized.  Let me say that the "Rite of Election" is one of the greatest services in the Catholic Church.  It was at this time when I truly felt the power of the Holy Spirit in my life when I signed the Baptism Book on the Altar of our Lord. 
 
April 3, 1999 I received the sacrament of baptism, confirmation and first Holy Communion under the instruction of the Rev. Father Richard Campo. I had no family support when I came into the church.  My becoming Catholic put even more stress on my marriage but I knew in my heart this is what God wanted for me.  I knew I was being called to the Catholic Church.
 
After my initiation in the Catholic Church I continued going to mass with Eva on Sundays.  My husband never attended with me. At this point he even stopped attending his church.
 
A few years of my perfect attendance and sitting in the front pew of church (which didn't surprise the RCIA team because I went through 8 months of RCIA with perfect attendance) it was time to enroll Eva in school.  You can better believe that I was set on St. Anne's Catholic School regardless of what my husband thought. I wanted her to have a Catholic education.  Eva's school attendance eventually brought my husband to become a little involved with the school. God was working on him already, but he still didn't attend church. 
 
Gradually things in my life we improving, I found my self finding peace with mothers death but this was only through my coming to know my dear Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.  My husband at this time was attending the Catholic Church but only on Easter and Christmas.  I eventually was able to stop working and become a full time mom, which is what I longed to do. When I left my job I started to attend daily mass and eventually became a Eucharist Minister and a daily adult altar server.  It was at this time when I felt the Holy Spirit calling me to serve God in a deeper way.  I've always had compassion towards the poor but little did I know what God had planned for me.
 
Blessed Mother Teresa was appearing in my life at this time.  I found myself reading many of her stories; it was during this period I felt God was calling me to serve the poorest-of-poor but not in India, but in Africa. 
 
Well, imagine the reaction when I told my husband I felt the calling to serve the poor in Africa.  I started doing research on African Missionary work but came up short either because of the expense or the length of time required away from home.  I knew at this point in my life I could not go to Africa and serve Jesus in the poor.  But, the zeal was burning in my heart. Eventually God would show me his "master plan" – His miracles at work.
 
By the summer of 2004 during a family vacation my husband attended mass with us back-to-back Sundays.  The miracle was starting to take place.  At one of the parishes we had visited there was a missionary priest there.  He just happened to be there when we were visiting.  He was American but a missionary priests, I felt that I needed to share my calling with him.  Which, I did.  We returned home from our vacation and I returned to daily mass.  God’s miracle was still in action.  I couldn't believe my eyes when I say that we had a visiting priest from Nigeria on our altar, Father Kenneth Obiekwe, who was going to stay with us until October. 
 
My husband started to attend church on a regular basis after that family vacation and eventually joined the RCIA program. During the Easter Vigil 2005 he became a Catholic.  A few weeks later our daughter Eva received her first Holy Communion.  Miracle's #1 and #2.   At this time I still haven't heard from the missionary priest that I met on vacation.  My husband who was listening very intently to Father Obiekwe's homilies every week started to encourage me to speak with him about my calling.  I feel at this time my husband was starting to understand the zeal God instilled in my heart.
 
Eventually I did and the rest is number #3 of Gods miracle.  I went to serve the poorest-of-poor in Nigeria during the month of January 2006.  After a year of fund raising at my parish through the support of my pastor Father Anthony Monginello, I raised enough money to provide a Nigerian village with a borehole.  With the help of Father Obiekwe this true miracle #4 happened, a miracle for the villagers, one that they prayed many generations for. You can see the work God sent me out to do on my video.
 
Since my return from Nigeria my zeal still continues to serve the poor of Africa.  With Gods graces I will be continuing my work in Africa and hoping to provide more villages with the fresh water that they so desperately need. 
 
 
Being called in the Catholic Church has been a miracle for my life.  My life went from years of just going through the motions of life to a life of finding my one true love "Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament".  I thank God that my family and I have been called to the Catholic Church and I feel honored that God chose me to serve Jesus in the poorest-of-poor. God chose me not to preach the Gospels but to live the Gospels to the most that God allows me.
 
Perhaps the real miracle is how God could take a person with who had no faith her entire life to come to know and love his son in the "Blessed Sacrament".  I thank God for bringing Mother Teresa in my life and showing me the way of following Gods will for my life.
 
I hope you enjoyed my journey to Jesus.