It all began simply enough. During my senior year
in high school, I was hitchhiking home from school when a driver
stopped and offered a ride. I got in. After a few minutes of small
talk, the driver turned to me and said, “Jesus loves you.”
“Oh great,” I thought to myself, “I’ve been
picked up by one of those Jesus freaks!” So I gave him one
of my typical agnostic replies, “Fine. I'll believe it when
I hear it from Him. Now stop the car, and let me out.” As
I got out of the car, I congratulated myself on another narrow-escape
from some Jesus freak I had survived many such close calls. Though
raised in a churched background, I had given up any practice or
belief in Christianity. In my good moods I was an agnostic; in my
bad moods, an atheist. I had decided that either God didn't exist,
or He was hiding from me, in either event, the result was the same.
A few weeks after the hitchhiking encounter, a new Christian group
started at my high school. My twin sister wanted to go to one of
their meetings, and my mother asked me to take her. Normally I wouldn't
have considered such a thing, but I made Mom a deal. If I took my
sister, I could have the car for the weekend. She went for it. My
sister and I arrived a few minutes late, and the meeting had already
started. It was being led by none other than the driver who had
picked me up hitchhiking! His was not a face l wanted to see. The
driver was speaking about a friend of his. As I listened, I was
moved by how he described his friend--caring, supportive, always
there for him, always calling him on to be the best he could be.
At one point I couldn't contain my curiosity any longer. I was lonely;
and could have used a good friend like that, so I just blurted out,
“What's your friend's name, anyway?” “Jesus,”
he replied. I couldn't believe it, but I was still curious, so after
the meeting ended, I asked him how he could be so sure about Jesus.
The man told me that I just had to give my life to Jesus, then I
could be sure, too. “Just give my life to someone I don't
even believe exists?” I questioned. That started the first
of many arguments. Actually, they were arguments from my side, but
not from his. He always responded to my attacks with patience and
love, and usually concluded saying, “Ed, you may be able to
argue better than I can, but there are two things, I know—I
love you, and Jesus loves you.” He also gave me a copy of
The Cross and the Switchblade. At first the book struck me as fiction--every
time the preacher prayed, God seemed to be doing miracles, something
I thought had to be pure fiction! But as I read on, it stirred something
in my heart and filing me with a great longing. I finished the book
in one evening, and then went back to my friend. He gave me other
books to read, including Run, Baby, Run; Face Up to a Miracle; They
Speak with Other Tongues; and a few others. I read them all within
a few days. Then my friend suggested that I start reading the Bible.
He told me to read the Gospel of John, and when I got to John 3:16,
to take out the word ‘world’ and put in my own name.
I had no idea what he was talking about, since I didn't know John
from Jeremiah at that time. But I started reading, and when I got
to John 3:16,1 did what he suggested, reading: “For God so
loved Ed that he gave his only begotten Son....” That was
the first time I ever realized that Jesus didn't simply love humanity,
but that He loved me as an individual person. Holy Week began a
few days later, and the minister at the Protestant church where
I grew up asked me to help with the Maundy Thursday service. When
the service was over, I decided to pray. I hadn't ever prayed before,
except for the kind of prayers common to many high school kids of
my age: “O God, let me pass this test; O God, let my parents
be asleep when I get home," etc. But I had never prayed any
kind of commitment prayer. I knew it was time now. I knelt in the
little chapel and started: “Lord, if You're up there.…”
Then I stopped, thinking to myself that that was a pretty anemic
way to begin my first prayer. So I simply said, “Lord, You
can't make anymore of a mess out of my life than I have, so it's
Yours. Forgive my sins, and be my Lord. Amen.”
That was the first time I ever deeply experienced Jesus' love.
It was as if He had walked into that room, picked me up in His arms,
and poured His love and mercy and forgiveness through me. It was
beyond description. After a few moments, still conscious of Jesus'
presence, I said to him, “Lord, I've been reading about the
Holy Spirit, and I'd be glad to take anything You wanted to give.”
I was instantly aware that we were joined by another Presence, the
Holy Spirit. I suddenly experienced a sense of power flowing through
my whole body, as if I were being struck by a friendly lightning
bolt. After a few minutes that experience subsided. I was somewhat
overwhelmed. I had now prayed twice in my life, and two thirds of
the Trinity had shown up like gangbusters! I decided that I would
conclude by simply praying the Our Father, as a way to say thanks.
I got as far as saying “Our Father” when suddenly I
began praying in tongues. I knew about tongues because all the books
I had read had talked about it, but I had not at all anticipated
praying in tongues like this myself. It was great! The next morning,
Good Friday, I described my experience to the minister of the church,
who was also a professor at our denominational seminary. “Well
Ed," he replied, “Your experience, well, it's Biblical,
but it would not be welcome in this particular church or this denomination.”
I thanked him and went home. The next morning I said to Jesus, “Lord,
I seem to have found You and lost my church. If a church is something
You want me to have, please find me one. Amen.” As soon as
I prayed that amen, my phone rang. It was a high school friend asking
if I'd like to go to church with him that night. I was amazed. He
knew nothing about my recent religious reading or about my giving
my life to Jesus. As far as he knew, I was still the class agnostic.
He just called ‘out of the blue’ and asked me to go
to his church with him. Well, ‘church’ that night turned
out to be the Easter Vigil Mass at the Cathedral of the Most Holy
Rosary in Duluth, Minnesota, my hometown. That Easter Vigil Mass
was celebrated by Bishop Paul Anderson, a bishop who was actively
involved in the charismatic renwal. In the homily he spoke of the
need for each of us to personally experience the love and mercy
of Jesus Christ and the gifts of the Holy Spirit if we are to be
truly affective Christians. He then proceeded to describe exactly
what had just happened to me! It was very reassuring. That vigil
Mass was my first experience of a Roman Catholic liturgy, and it
was somewhat confusing for me to follow. At one point I thought
that it was over, since everyone in my pew was leaving, so I got
up and left with them. Suddenly I realized that we were heading
up toward the altar, not out toward the doors. Then I realized with
shock that I was in a Communion line. The communion service that-I
had grown up with was a simple memorial service that we did four
times a year. I had little basic understanding of what Communion
was. But from the time I realized that I was in a Communion line
until the point I got to the front of the church, Jesus moved in
my heart and gave me the certainty that this was His real Presence.
Every step I took toward that Altar, Jesus made it more and more
clear to me that this was actually Him, not a symbol, not a mere
memorial, but actually the living Presence of the Lord Jesus Himself.
I received the Host and went back to my seat, my heart flaming with
the love and power of Jesus. As I knelt there, I said to Jesus,
“This is pretty nice. What do You think?" Jesus responded
in a crystal clear voice: “You’re home!” A few
days later I began taking instruction, and within a few months I
became a Roman Catholic.
Ever since I was in the fifth grade, I had wanted to become a
theoretical nuclear physicist. My whole future was oriented in that
direction. At least, until I met Jesus. Then I suddenly had no more
desire to study physics. Nevertheless, I went to the University
of Minnesota, tentatively pursuing a major in physics, since I had
no clear alternative yet. I joined some Christian groups on campus,
attended the Life in the Spirit Seminars, and started going to daily
Mass. I met a young woman who also came to know Jesus in a deep
way, and we feel in love and began to seriously plan what we hoped
would be a long future together. Then one day during my prayer time,
It was reading the Gospel of Matthew, and came across the verse
in chapter 19 that speaks of living single for the sake of the Kingdom
of Heaven. The verse seemed to jump out at me, and I knew the Lord
was beginning to say something to me—something I thing I didn't
want to hear! I slammed the Bible shut, saying “No, no, no,
no!" I was planning to marry my girlfriend, and I was not even
remotely open to considering being celibate. But Jesus has a way
of making His will more clearly known to us. During the next two
weeks, five different friends of mine, from five different Christian
groups, came to me at different times. Each of them had the same
basic message: as they had been in prayer, Jesus had put me on their
hearts or brought me to their minds and had given them a specific
Scripture verse to share with me. Guess which one it was? In all
five cases it was the same—St. Matthew 19:12: “Some
are eunuchs because they are born that way; others are made that
way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom
of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
Since it was clear the Lord Jesus was not going to let this go,
I decided to go on a retreat and give the matter some more serious
prayer.
While I was on that retreat, I prayed and reflected about what
the Lord Jesus had been doing in my life: He brought me into His
Church; He had given me a deep love for the Sacraments; He'd given
me a significant desire to serve Him in some sort of full-time Christian
ministry. If He was also calling me to be celibate, maybe He was
calling me to the priesthood. I hadn't even considered the idea
of the priesthood because of my plans to get married. But if He
were calling me to live single in addition to what I had already
experienced Him doing in my heart, perhaps the priesthood was what
He had in mind. I decided to give it a test. I decided to ask God
to speak to me through the Scriptures. I sat down with the Bible
in front of me, and asked Jesus to show me if He were calling me
to the priesthood. I told Him I would open the Bible randomly and
stab my finger down. If it landed on the word ‘priest,’
then I’d consider the priesthood. So I opened my Bible, stabbed
down-my finger, and landed squarely in the heart of Psalm 110, verse
four: `The Lord has sworn and will not change His mind, you are
a priest forever."
That shook me up, but I was still reluctant, so I said to Jesus,
“Well, accidents will happen. If I do it again, and it happens
again, then I will consider it.” So I closed the Bible and
then opened it again, very careful to avoid the entire book of Psalms.
I stabbed my finger down, and landed on Hebrews 7:21, which just
happens to be the place where the author of Hebrews directly quotes
Psalm 110:4 “The Lord has sworn and will not change His mind,
you are a priest forever...." I could not resist it anymore,
He had made it clear, so I said to Him: “When I gave You my
life, I gave you the authority to show me what You want for me;
if priesthood is what You want, then I accept it, as Your will for
me.” That began a journey which was to culminate in my being
ordained to the priesthood, November 29th, 1986.
I have just celebrated the 17th anniversary of my ordination to
the priesthood. I am currently serving as the pastor of Christ the
King Catholic Church in Ann Arbor Michigan. Christ the King is a
charismatic personal parish of our diocese—especially designated
by our bishop to serve people actively involved in the charismatic
renewal. These seventeen years have been a wondrous experience of
the love and fidelity of the Lord Jesus, the amazing power of the
Holy Spirit, and the mercy and presence of the Father. I love being
a priest, and serving the Lord and His people in this way has been
a great joy. I have learned the truth of the verse, “Take
delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."(Ps.
37:4). But He ‘cheats’—first He changes the desires
of your heart to match what He has in mind for you, and then He
gives you those! But, being our sovereign Lord, He has that right!
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