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wingfan
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Minnesota USA |
| Posts: | 8 |
| First Name: | Doug | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised Lutheren, converting to Catholicism |
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Posted: Mon Oct 1st, 2007 04:30 pm |
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I am in the process of converting to the RCC from being raised Lutheran. My wife is a cradle Catholic, but is not active in the Church. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and haven't always been a very good husband. We argue a lot (usually about finances) and I have not been as kind and compasionate as I should be to my wife. I am now trying to take responsibility for this and form a meaningful relationship with God and repair the relationship with my wife. She is very unsupportive in this process...she criticizes me any time we have an arguement by saying things like "You think you are so great now that you are a man of the Lord" and "You actually think that God can really forgive you?". It may sound small, but it still hurts and discourages me in my journey. I am firm in my committment to continue, but need help. I have never asked anyone (let alone a bunch of people I don't know) to pray for me, but I could really use all the help I can get to keep me from taking any steps backwards.
Thank you all,
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Christine Ann
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | An Hours' Drive From Cincinnati, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 156 |
| First Name: | Christine Ann | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | former Lutheran, Baptist, now Catholic. |
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Posted: Mon Oct 1st, 2007 10:54 pm |
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Hello Doug,
We have some things in common, I was also raised Lutheran. Also my husband says firmly that he is not interested in the Catholic Church. I tell you this, because I know how hard it is to have a spouse who wants nothing of it and/or is outright hostile to the treasure you have found in the Catholic Church. Hurtful comments cut deep.
I'm more than happy to pray for you and your wife...that God will soften her heart toward you and the Church. Sometimes I have been discouraged enough to think of stopping my journey toward the Catholic Church because of my husband's attitude and the strife it is causing. But I ask myself, 'how can I turn away from the truth that God has opened my mind to?' I cannot. There is no going back no matter how difficult it becomes. Many of us on the forum have undergone persecution on our walk...that's what I would say you are experiencing.
I will pray for you to have strength in your journey and for your wife to forgive any past mistreatment from you or the Church.
In His Love,
Christine Ann
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1479 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Oct 1st, 2007 11:22 pm |
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| Hi Doug, welcome to the forum! I have also had a rocky marriage at times and it's not the greatest in the world now. I converted to the RCC without my husband. He is not mean-spirited in his comments about it but he does make snide remarks and jokes about my faith and the "rituals" of the church. I think maybe your wife is still suffering pain from the past injustices you have done. She can't just sweep it all under the rug because you have found a better way to live. It will take time and more than a little suffering on your part as she slowly begins to trust in the new you. I have found, for my own self, that when I am tempted to shout or be hurtful to my spouse, I can instead be calm and loving when I do it for Christ, not just for my husband. Because frankly he doesn't always deserve kindness! But Christ always deserves the best behavior I can manage to give. And in the end, it works out better. If your wife, over time, sees that you are a better husband, a better person, for your faith in the catholic church, it will have an effect on her. And when she says she doubts that the Lord can really forgive you, don't believe her. It's she who is unable to forgive. The Lord is so willing to forgive us He gave us His ALL at calvary, so don't let that gift go unused. God bless
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1328 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Oct 1st, 2007 11:42 pm |
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Credo Catholic wrote: I think maybe your wife is still suffering pain from the past injustices you have done. She can't just sweep it all under the rug because you have found a better way to live. It will take time and more than a little suffering on your part as she slowly begins to trust in the new you. If your wife, over time, sees that you are a better husband, a better person, for your faith in the catholic church, it will have an effect on her.
Doug, I believe Marsha has given you some great advice here. I would add this suggestion. Spend as much time as you can sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Gaze upon the Lord as He gazes at you. ACTS= pray prayers of Adoration, prayers of Contrition, prayers of Thanksgiving, prayers of Supplication. After 30-45 minutes you will have gained enough strength to return to the battlefield where Satan will use your wife and anything else handy to discourage you.
During my painful journey, my daily hour in front of the exposed Blessed Sacrament consistently brought me peace, faith, insight, and courage. As one priest is fond of saying, one goes in like a lion and comes out like a lamb.
Be strong and of good courage. You can do it.
____________________
"He who will persevere unto the end is not he who will never fall, but he who after every fall will humble himself and rise again, relying on the infinite strength of God." Divine Intimacy, p. 885 Father Gabriel, O.C.D.
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1328 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Oct 1st, 2007 11:47 pm |
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Sorry, Doug, I forgot to tell you that I will certainly include you in my prayers--during Mass and during Adoration.
Grace and peace,
____________________
"He who will persevere unto the end is not he who will never fall, but he who after every fall will humble himself and rise again, relying on the infinite strength of God." Divine Intimacy, p. 885 Father Gabriel, O.C.D.
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BettyBoopToo
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Camas/Washougal, Washington USA |
| Posts: | 538 |
| First Name: | Betty | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Fist Baptist/Calvary Babtist/Secular Confusion/ Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Oct 2nd, 2007 01:45 am |
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wingfan wrote: I am in the process of converting to the RCC from being raised Lutheran. My wife is a cradle Catholic, but is not active in the Church. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and haven't always been a very good husband. We argue a lot (usually about finances) and I have not been as kind and compasionate as I should be to my wife. I am now trying to take responsibility for this and form a meaningful relationship with God and repair the relationship with my wife. She is very unsupportive in this process...she criticizes me any time we have an arguement by saying things like "You think you are so great now that you are a man of the Lord" and "You actually think that God can really forgive you?". It may sound small, but it still hurts and discourages me in my journey. I am firm in my committment to continue, but need help. I have never asked anyone (let alone a bunch of people I don't know) to pray for me, but I could really use all the help I can get to keep me from taking any steps backwards.
Thank you all,
Dearest Doug
I want to welcome you to the forum, we are all very happy to have you here with us.
Please know that your not alone, in having a spouse that is less the thrilled about your conversion. I think you'll find that there are great number of us here that share the same grief and frustration with the unfortunate situation that you've explained.
For what ever reason, God has chosen many of us to walk this path alone. Continue to pray for strength, faith & charity with your wife and others.
Evangelize always and sometimes use words. St Frances
Ask the Lord to forgive you for your past and when your ready ask your wife to forgive you too.
Please have patience with your wife and pray that she will forgive you. She will notice the changes in you eventually and hopefull she will come around with a sincere interest in her heart.
Angry words leave very deep wounds and take many years to heal. We have all said things in anger that none of us are very proud of. At least I know that my husband & I have. We've been married for 25 yrs now and it's only been within the last six years that we have begun to heal from the deep wounds that we created when we were young.
God Bless you both, I'm very happy to meet you and looke forward to your future participation.
Betty
I've added you & your wife to my prayer list.
____________________
Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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AggieCatholic
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | San Antonio, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 82 |
| First Name: | Lance | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | United Methodist to Roman Catholic (Anglican Use) |
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Posted: Tue Oct 2nd, 2007 01:53 am |
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Doug,
You will be in my prayers while spend some time tomorrow with the Blessed Sacrament.
Keep the faith, my friend.
____________________
What part of, "Hoc est enim Corpus meum" don't you understand?
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1479 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Oct 2nd, 2007 02:12 am |
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BettyBoopToo wrote: Angry words leave very deep wounds and take many years to heal. We have all said things in anger that none of us are very proud of. At least I know that my husband & I have. We've been married for 25 yrs now and it's only been within the last six years that we have begun to heal from the deep wounds that we created when we were young.
This is true of our marriage too. When we were younger we went through the typical financial battles (both of us were impulse buyers) and couldn't agree about discipline for the children. He didn't like how I kept the house and I didn't like how he kept the yard. It got to the point we would argue about the smallest most trivial things. Time and maturity have helped a lot. Now we are retired fairly comfortably so that's not a stress, the children are grown and not quite as stressful, we have the freedom to do what we want to do. But we went through some dark days and I didn't know if we'd still be together at the end. Thank God for sticking with us, and teaching me that by being more Christian and loving and patient and giving, it would eventually change HIS behavior and now we get along much better together as a team.
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wingfan
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Minnesota USA |
| Posts: | 8 |
| First Name: | Doug | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised Lutheren, converting to Catholicism |
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Posted: Tue Oct 2nd, 2007 10:32 am |
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Thank all of you for your responses, excellent advice, and prayers. I am glad the Holy Spirit has guided me here as I can see that God is truly at work in these forums.
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JillD
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 857 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
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Posted: Tue Oct 2nd, 2007 11:27 am |
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Credo Catholic wrote: it would eventually change HIS behavior and now we get along much better together as a team.
Ha!! I caught that!!!
Thanks for the morning giggle!
I love being Catholic! (I don't know why I threw that in, just that, though life has been VERY trying this year, I can't help but be full of joy!)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jill
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"I praise you, for I am wondrously made. Wonderful are our works! My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret." Ps 139
"Guard me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men." Ps 140
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Pani Rose
Member
| Joined: | Fri Oct 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Irondale, Alabama USA |
| Posts: | 606 |
| First Name: | Rose | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Ruthenian Byzantine in a Melkite Greek Catholic Parish, raised ... |
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Posted: Mon Oct 29th, 2007 05:28 pm |
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Christ our God, who is worshipped and glorified at all times and in every hour in heaven and on earth; who is most patient, loving and kind; who loves the just and shows mercy to sinners; who calls all to salvation through the promise of the blessings to come; Lord, at this time receive our prayer for Doug and his wife, direct their lives according to Your will. Bless their souls and bodies. Correct their thoughts and purify their minds. Protect them from all evil and distress. Surround them with Your holy angels, that guided and guarded by them, they may attain the unity of the faith and the knowledge of Your unapproachable glory, for you are blessed forever and ever. Amen.
Through the prayers of our holy Fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us and save us. Amen.
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