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Faith Admirer
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 29th, 2007 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
| First Name: | Ryan | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Non-denominational Christian convert to Catholicism |
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Posted: Mon Oct 29th, 2007 08:14 pm |
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This is my first time posting. I'd like to ask people to pray for my marriage and for me specifically since I am the one causing our separation.
I joined the church right before my marriage on my own free will, and I believe everything the church teaches. I have had a zeal for the faith ever since joining, but I've come to realize that my conversion was one of the head and not the heart.
The issue ruining my marriage derives from the fact that I haven't changed/let go of some very sinful ways of thinking that I obtained during many years of hedonism. I realize that if I have any faith, I would change my thoughts, but I am really struggling. It feels like I am in a nightmare. I am seeing an excellent catholic therapist and am saying many rosaries.
Please pray for my wife and I.
God bless,
Ryan
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Credo Catholic
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| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1553 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Oct 29th, 2007 08:38 pm |
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Faith Admirer wrote: I realize that if I have any faith, I would change my thoughts, but I am really struggling. It feels like I am in a nightmare. I am seeing an excellent catholic therapist and am saying many rosaries.
Dear Faith Admirer, welcome to the forum. There will be many people here who will pray for you and your marriage. I will pray for you, that you will find the courage and the strength to resist the sinful temptations you are having trouble with. Having faith doesn't mean the temptations go away, believe me. Having faith gives you recourse to the grace to resist them, and in doing so, your faith increases. It is good that you have a catholic therapist, and also the wonderful sacrament of confession to help. God bless and please pray to the Holy Family to mend your marriage and bring you and your wife closer in the love of God.
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Faith Admirer
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 29th, 2007 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
| First Name: | Ryan | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Non-denominational Christian convert to Catholicism |
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Posted: Mon Oct 29th, 2007 08:46 pm |
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Dear Credo Catholic,
Thank you so much for your prayers. I know God will help me if I am vigilant, but it is sure scary at this stage.
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BodRod
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 840 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Mon Oct 29th, 2007 08:54 pm |
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Hi Ryan,
I think you might be overlooking a VERY IMPORTANT element of human behavior. If a person has followed a certain way of thinking or behaving for a number of years, that person can NOT expect to change their way of thinking or their behavior rapidly. It takes time for the mind, and in some situations the body, to unlearn what it learned in the past and to learn the new way of thinking or behavior. ALSO, feeling guilty over the situation will NOT help. It all takes time and if you sincerely keep working at it your life patterns will slowly change.
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Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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Ken Follis
Member
| Joined: | Thu Oct 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | San Antonio, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 40 |
| First Name: | Ken | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Charismatic Episcopal Church; Roman Catholic Church (1999) |
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Posted: Mon Oct 29th, 2007 09:01 pm |
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Ryan,
You have my heartfelt prayers as well! Have you been to Confession, received Absolution and performed your Penance for these Lazarus- like grave clothes that still seem to cling on? I am referring to when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead.
"The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, 'Take off the grave clothes and let him go.'" (John 11:44)
Christ has raised us up from death but we often times are still wearing the signs of the grave.
Tertullian mentions in his pre-Montanist writings that demons would latch on Christians who amused themselves with vile entertainment. If there are things that I have been entertaining that the Holy Spirit would not approve of, I'd remove that making no provision for the flesh to fulfill it's lust. Next I would start casting out devils, as Christ did, by speaking the Word of God-the Sword of the Spirit-against them. (Please read Mark 16; Eph. 6:10-18 Rom. 12:1,2) I would then ask St. Michael and St. George the Warriors to assist you in this battle.
"Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!"
Jesus said, "What God has joined together, let no man pull apart!"
Last edited on Mon Oct 29th, 2007 09:09 pm by Ken Follis
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Jer. 6:16 "Stand, Look, Ask and Walk!"
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CajunRick
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Posted: Mon Oct 29th, 2007 11:11 pm |
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Faith Admirer wrote: This is my first time posting. I'd like to ask people to pray for my marriage and for me specifically since I am the one causing our separation.
Ryan, we welcome you to our forum family, and we promise you will be in our prayers.
Addictive behavior is particularly difficult to overcome, because of our sinful human nature. We are creatures of habit, and habits are hard to overcome. God will give you the strength through the Holy Spirit, but it will not be easy. Even the apostles had a difficult time avoiding sin.
Don't judge yourself too harshly, but turn your eyes toward Jesus and his Blessed Mother. She will help to keep you focused on her Son, and he will help you to overcome anything. Remember, though, that he can only help. You must still make the effort yourself. God will give you the strength, but you must provide the desire.
With God all things are possible.
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nimbus
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 29th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2 |
| First Name: | Nimbus | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Birth-age 11: Roman Catholic; wandering since; began attending Mass 9/07 |
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Posted: Mon Oct 29th, 2007 11:25 pm |
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Dear Ryan,
Recognizing a problem is the first step in reaching a solution, realizing that not all solutions are necessarily ideal. Asking for help in resolving a problem is an indication that you realize you're not alone and that you need help with your struggles. Rest assured many will be praying for you and your wife.
You must accept your own humanity and resolve to quit focusing on what you have done or might do to be wrong in the future, but focus instead on what you are doing right. In another sense, focus on the good in your marriage and your wife, not keep thinking about yourself and your bad actions. See how changing the emphasis from you to the marriage and her can affect your actions and thinking.
Another poster said what I'm thinking: it took years to develop bad habits; it'll take considerable time to break them as well as develop good habits. Be kind and loving to yourself as well as your wife and others. God will punish you, as necessary; don't usurp His authority by punishing yourself. Good luck to you. Since you have God and all of us on your side, I have faith you will be successful.
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1553 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Oct 29th, 2007 11:38 pm |
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| Dear Nimbus, very wise words! We could all use that counsel. Welcome to the forum, please keep sharing!
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heardclarke
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 9th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 220 |
| First Name: | Lisa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Episcopalian; confirmed RC Easter 2005 |
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Posted: Mon Oct 29th, 2007 11:57 pm |
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Dear Ryan,
I was wondering how long you have been married/a convert? Often it seems like we are OK for a while and then over time we find that we do not have the will power or whatever to keep at it (either in marriage or in the Christian life). We need grace.
I have experienced this frustration first hand. I had a lot of growing up to do when we got married 17 years ago, and when I joined the Church 3 years ago I thought that would surely fix our relationship. It helped; but I still had a lot of work to do. The Church has provided the "tools" to help me do that work (which are the sacraments and also other Catholics who are supportive.)
I think the best person to help you right now (apart from St. Michael the Archangel and the Blessed Mother Mary) might be a priest and teacher named Fr. John Corapi. If you have access to his recordings give him a chance. He has an awesome ability to epress God's grace and healing in any situation. I can't begin to describe how helpful he has been to me!
I hope and pray things will get better for you and your wife. God bless.
Lisa
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Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.
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nimbus
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 29th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2 |
| First Name: | Nimbus | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Birth-age 11: Roman Catholic; wandering since; began attending Mass 9/07 |
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Posted: Tue Oct 30th, 2007 12:05 am |
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| Thank you for those kind words. My first post but it's important that he asked us for our help so I did. Glad to have found these forums.
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faithfl1
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 21st, 2007 |
| Location: | Illinois USA |
| Posts: | 64 |
| First Name: | Sharon | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | protestant, non-denominational (born-again), Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Oct 31st, 2007 02:28 pm |
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Welcome to this great forum! I will pray that the Lord give you the strength, wisdom, comfort and mercy that you need to endure your sufferings. It is very hard to stay positive when the evil one keeps attacking. Put on the armour of the Lord and stay strong!! God Bless!
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Sharon S.
...I love you, Lord, my strength Psalm 18:2
I have the strength for everything through Him who empowers me. Phil 4:13
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Faith Admirer
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 29th, 2007 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
| First Name: | Ryan | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Non-denominational Christian convert to Catholicism |
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Posted: Wed Oct 31st, 2007 05:36 pm |
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All-
Thank you so much for your encouragement, advice and prayers. I am already seeing improvement in my life. Please continue to pray for me, and I will pray for others who have placed requests on the forums.
Ryan
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Pani Rose
Member
| Joined: | Fri Oct 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Irondale, Alabama USA |
| Posts: | 688 |
| First Name: | Rose | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Ruthenian Byzantine in a Melkite Greek Catholic Parish, raised ... |
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Posted: Mon Nov 26th, 2007 11:04 pm |
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| Lord of the Powers be with Rayn and his family, for in times of distress we have no other help but You. Lord of the Powers, have mercy on us.
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