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Hugh
Member
| Joined: | Mon Feb 25th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2 |
| First Name: | Hugh | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Feb 25th, 2008 06:42 am |
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Guys,
I am asking for prayers for the conversion of my beloved girlfriend Maya whom I love dearly. We have been together for 10 months but I have not been able to bring her to the Lord. I am a little frustrated and truly believe that our chance encounter had some intervention from God. I think that I had a role in her non-Catholic roomate attending a Catholic mass for Christmas but I have been making little headway with Maya. Please keep us in your prayers as I would like to share this very important aspect of my life with her.
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Intercessor
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| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1448 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Feb 27th, 2008 02:55 pm |
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Hugh wrote:
Guys,
I am asking for prayers for the conversion of my beloved girlfriend Maya whom I love dearly. We have been together for 10 months but I have not been able to bring her to the Lord. I am a little frustrated and truly believe that our chance encounter had some intervention from God. I think that I had a role in her non-Catholic roomate attending a Catholic mass for Christmas but I have been making little headway with Maya. Please keep us in your prayers as I would like to share this very important aspect of my life with her.
Hello, Hugh. Welcome to the CHNI forum.
You don't mention your age, but something in your words tugs at my mother's heart. Feel free to reject and ignore my comments, and I will focus on stating them with love and humility. OK? 
You sound like a really special young man who would not be interested in Maya unless she also had some very fine qualities. So why am I a little bit uneasy about this situation?
Your most important responsibilities in life will include cooperating with God's plan for your own salvation and shepherding your children toward heaven. Also included toward the top of that list is the responsibility you and your spouse will have to shepherd each other toward heaven. A woman who is not a Christian cannot do much to safeguard and nurture your spiritual health.
It's hard to overstate the gravity of a parent's spiritual responsibility. As a future father, you owe it to your children to give them a devout Christian (one would hope a Catholic) mother.
Please be careful, Hugh, not to become confused about how God works. God does not engineer "chance encounters" or arrange relationships that run counter to the teachings of the Church or that involve us in neglecting our responsibilities to ourselves and to our future children.
Keep your eye on the prize: a sacramental marriage with a faithful Catholic woman who can assist you in your own efforts to get to heaven and who can help shepherd your precious children to heaven.
I hope you find the strength to seek God's guidance about your relationship with Maya and that you will be willing to obey His direction, whatever that is. He may ask you to detach and give her up so that He can bring her to Himself in His own way. You, of course, can pray for her fervently, but cannot convert her. Only the Holy Spirit can do that work.
God bless you, Hugh. You and Maya will be in my prayers.
BeckyLast edited on Wed Feb 27th, 2008 04:01 pm by Intercessor
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Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials. . .the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life. . . NAB James 1:2-4,12
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Ave_Girl
Moderator
| Joined: | Wed Nov 7th, 2007 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 202 |
| First Name: | Mary Clare | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Feb 27th, 2008 03:56 pm |
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Welcome Hugh,
I'll definitely keep you and your girlfriend in my prayers. The best to both of you.
God bless,
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~Mary Clare Piecynski~
Coming Home Network Staff
740-450-1175 ext 105
maryp@chnetwork.org
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1552 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Feb 27th, 2008 04:45 pm |
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Intercessor's words above are my own thoughts, it is so important for a couple to be bonded together with the love of God. There will be so very many instances in your life where you will want and need a wife to lift you up and support you in your struggles, and she will need her own good spiritual life to do that.
I pray that Maya will respond to the Holy Spirit and admit God into her heart. I pray that Hugh will search for the direction of our Lord, and follow that path, with or without Maya. God bless you on your journey. We look forward to hearing more from you Hugh.
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Pani Rose
Member
| Joined: | Fri Oct 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Irondale, Alabama USA |
| Posts: | 688 |
| First Name: | Rose | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Ruthenian Byzantine in a Melkite Greek Catholic Parish, raised ... |
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Posted: Sat Mar 1st, 2008 02:33 pm |
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Lord of the Powers be with Maya and Hugh, for in times of distress we have no other help but You.
Lord of the Powers, have mercy on us.
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cathmom
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| Joined: | Sat Nov 3rd, 2007 |
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| Posts: | 88 |
| First Name: | Marian | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic Church (baptized/chrismation Byz. Rite, currently attending Roman Rite) |
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Posted: Sat Apr 5th, 2008 12:26 pm |
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I am thankful I found your post this morning. It is very evident that you care very much for Maya. It is so refreshing to read about a young person who evidently has his priorities straight and wishes to share the most important aspect of his life with someone for whom he truly cares.
I cannot stress, however, the importance of what others have said about the importance of a sacramental marriage in the Church which will bond you and your future wife together for life.
You have to remember that your ultimate goal will be to help each other get to Heaven. If you don't share the same goal, how will a relationship work?
True love will require sacrifice. Will you both share that same sacrificial love? It's harder with only one who has that vision of what love truly is.
I have been trying to stress that with my oldest daughter, and I know it has been very hard for her as in her circumstances she has no opportunity to meet Catholic young men who are serious about the practice of the Faith. I think in her case, however, the people she meets are there to test her Faith. She was away from the Sacraments last fall, but through many prayers, especially from those on this list, she did is now back to participating fully in the Mass and the Sacraments. There's still a ways to go with her, but she appears to be slowly getting back on track.
I would encourage you to live chastely in the state of life in which you find yourself now. That, I believe, is what God wants most of all. If you are truly seeking God's will in your life, He can have you meet that special person if you're just taking out the trash.
A prayer for all young people that they may truly wait on God. Just know he wants to bring the best to you!
Take care and keep us posted.
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"Lord, I am my own enemy, when I seek my peace apart from Thee." R. Cardinal Merry del Val
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Steven Barrett
Member
| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Absurdistan, AKA , Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 1462 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Apr 17th, 2008 08:30 pm |
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Hugh,
Welcome, and take comfort in knowing you're on my prayer list.
In the meantime, if your really love this gal, and I don't question it, but if you after all your heart-searching etc. love this person, give very serious thought to what's been posted by the women above.
Right now, even though you (rightly) see this as a headache and heartache to deal with-- you're stil lin the everything's smelling like lilacs and roses. She glides on air and it never rains on your parades, so to speak.
Right now it's the 4th of July and Macy's Parade rolled into one big love-fest, and it if all's alright save for your religious matters, I couldn't wish anything else or be happier for you. But, I've got to tell you ... there are far more Monday morning afterwards than the biggies I've just mentoned. And, while I'm sure you're aware of this fact, having seen your own parents and siblings, friends deal with their not always so exciting days, until you have your share, believe me, you still have some descending to do. But that's part of life's way of teaching us how we develop "learning curves."
I've been there, friend. So have many, many of us in this forum and all across life's landscape--some of which is unfortunately srewn with the remains of broken hearts and relationships, not to mention marriages and broken homes with devastated kids-in-tow. Well, I've been blessed far beyond whatever I feel deserving of, especially given the way I horribly mishandled the "mixed marriage" challenge when my wife and I were much younger. Stubborn and stupid, I was, straight across the board.
Even if you still love this gal enough to marry her notwithstanding all the warning lights and bells going off, my advice is to love her, love her, love her and more. Love her as Scripture tells us (I'm temp. at loss to the exact verse at hand) the way Jesus loved the Church and humanity -- especially as he prayed for those who just nailed him to that cross. He loved Her unto His own death.Because there will be days and especially long nights when you'll feel like youv'been nailed just for being a practicing Christian, never mind a Catholic Christian.
On the other hand, once she begins to realize that "all that love stuff" we talk about isn't just nice fluffy stuff to talk about on Sundays and other special times--but for real, and you make sure that your actions speak muscle to words, you'll stand a much greater chance of getting her to come around than having a library full of books and Lord knows how many "talks" she 'll only find more dreadful, along with the guy pushing for them -- you, and things could get much worse. Believe me. They can.
Ask yourself one thing before you're tempted to push that proverbial wet spaghetti noodle forward: Would I want God to approach me the way I might be approaching this wonderful gal I want to spend the rest of my life with -- especially if I was pushing this and that " ... wonderful, awesome, fulfilling and chock full of vital information books ... " when all she desires is a lot more understanding and consideration-filled help with the kids and more (elbow) action around the house? (I had to learn the hard way that Ruth respected my beliefs a lot more if I was more willing to demonstrate them in action by cleaning the bathrooms and especially changing the cat litter boxes on time--without any reminding, than getting a new book to read or video to watch.)
If you're honest with yourself, and I trust you are, you probably never notice or sense the Lord's presence, much less even give an all-consuming thought to it. Nor, would you probably like it either, especially if He had some things to get off His mind about you, or I, et al. Now, I'll admit to doing a lot of  whenever I hear evangelical Protestants and some Catholics gush on and on about how they actually sense God's presence in whatever room they've been in. (Hmmm, are they members of this so-called "to be raptured elect?") God Bless 'em, but I'm from another culture entirely: More like New England Catholic meets Lake Woebegon "quiet military officer's family reservedness." (Not only that, I sure wouldn't want to think of God as a cosmic Ricky Ricardo saying "you got some 'splaning to do" everytime something comes up. The same goes for discussing differing religious views and levels of faith or acceptance. Nor would I feel comfortable hearing THE VOICE(s) of either James Earl Jones or the late Charlton Heston in my house or worksite.)
Heck, it took me years and many unneeded buckets of tears to figure this out young man, and what you're getting now comes to you at bargain rates so print this off and save it for real rainy days--and they will come and linger! But, ACTIVE love in the end, if it's real and it's sincerely grounded in our Faith's principles, Catechism, etc. will be THE thing that pulls her in closer so she can indeed hear better what God's been trying to say. But let God do the talking in situations like this. We're far too clumsy and prone to arguing over and over what we thought was "settled" years, if not wks & days ago.
Most men are too clumsy to notice it, much less express it, but active love, expressed as an active verb, or as Cardinal Newman neatly wrapped it up in his motto, "Cor ad Cor Loqitor" "heart speaks to heart" is the key. But far too many of us forget to learn similar lessons along the path to our wedding altars, or seem to instantly forget them upon walking our brides under the showering rice because it shows all too readily when we forget that courtship is a life-long act. Or as Dr. Phil McGraw said recently in a magazine, a marriage isn't a long date.
Follow the advice given by the women in their posts above, and follow it religiously. They KNOW what they're talking about. In fact, getting down the "religion thing" is the MOST SIGNIFICANT thing you can do before getting to the other stuff when it comes to building a solid relationship. And this includes people of the same faith. If one's not "into it" as much as the other, that's a red flag of caution. Address it and don't go back to rehash it, because patience and prayer will be your best allies in this kind of a situation; not superbly given talks and well-crafted "arguments" on behalf of this or that ... blah blah blah point. She'll be more imressed with the roses than what she'll come to resent as a can of hot spiritual bull.
After all, and this applies to all sides, if we can't even try to live up to the principles of what we say is so important to us, what on earth possesses us to "think" we can persuade anybody else to joing along?
But if you can't get the religious realm and framework settled ahead of time, and by that I mean both the wedding altar and maternity wards, you'd better start reading up on your church history books, especially those dealing with long, decades long wars.
What you like at the table, in the bed, at the movies, the furniture in your house, the cars in your driveways, the colleges you attended, where you stand on the "big issues" of the day ... they're nothing but peanut shells strewn on a dirty ballpark stands floor at the end of a rained-out game if you can't figure out WHO'S League you're going to play in, and what the rules of the (home) ballpark are going to be. Because if you're still on different, albeit not diametrically opposite, teams, you're still going to need to state right at the top of the game: no spitballs, brush-backs/knock-down pitches or worst of all, beanballs. You have to decide well in advance that there'll be no "hardball" except for the real game or the political show on television.
Hugh, pray hard, and love hard, work that love constructively and intelligently hard, and if need be, learn how to compromise hard on the minor points, so you'll never have to play hard, except when your kids expect it from you and you won't want to disappoint them. 
Last edited on Thu Apr 17th, 2008 08:36 pm by Steven Barrett
____________________
James Michael Curley to a young Thomas “Tip” O’Neill -- “Son, it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”
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