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Steven Barrett
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| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 979 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 05:54 am |
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Please bear with this lengthy plea for prayers not only for my youngest son and child Andrew, who turned 17 a month ago; but for all kids and their parents in similar straits (as I'll explain).
Andrew's been the "beneficiary" (notice the very deliberate use of quotation marks) of his parents' years of spiritual disputes and mistakes through the years. He's not at all comfortable with the Baptist free church evangelical point of view, but he hasn't been able to understand the basics of Catholicism yet -- but he's picking them up out of curiosity on his own.
Because of this and my sensitivity to his mother's wishes, I've decided to simply love him towards the Lord and putting his trust in God for direction in what one might call a very "non-denominational" fashion.
Andy is also a special needs student, with varying problems ranging from Asperger's, ADHD, OCD (all of which he got from yours truly, although thank God I had less of the first condition) and all of this has made schooling and socializing quite difficult for him. He could never sit still in church, no matter where we were. But more and more I see him taking interest in Catholicism. Whether or not he'll develop such a desire to "stay put" long enough to absorb enough over time for it to really become part of his full spiritual nature (so-to-speak) is something I can only entrust to God's care and knowledge.
Up until even a few nights ago I felt he was hiding behind his disabilities to get out of things. Now I simply don't know. And perhaps that might just be what I need to do now; just trust God with all my heart and soul and accept that I may never know or come close to knowing what I don't know now. Maybe King Solomon forgot to add that the igorance of what we may never come to know should also be the beginning of wisdom along with a healthy fear of the Lord.
Every time I thought we hit on something that'd help turn this young man's life around, something pops up and our hopes got dashed a little more. Maybe we weren't praying the right way or hard enough for him. All the SPED laws mandate "advocates" for these kids, but I can't help wondering how badly I've failed him as his advocate with the Lord. (I have no rights nor desire to pass comments on his mother's prayer life on this matter.)
Maybe he's been looking in this direction all along, and perhaps never felt comfortable talking it over with us for fear it'd spark a disagreement so it quietly went under the rug and much of the anger, frustration and fear of his reactions when he gets picked on in the Voke school he attends might also be a result of this lack. I don't know, and I'm pretty sure his (secular) counselor would be reluctant to get into any spiritual discussion. Maybe not and I've never pushed it out of respect for her as well.
There are fewer things more humbling and daunting than the shaping of a child's life, especially his spiritual development. Yet we go about our routines, think we're "doing the job" and miss the signals by miles ... and one day awaken to the shock of how badly we've lost them to the wildest ideas and fool's pursuits only because of something we did or failed to do when they were younger. In another posting, I took strong issue with some pastors misusing what I thought their pulpits in order to get their parishioners to do X or Y thing; when perhaps I should've also mentioned how easy it is for spouses and parents to make similar mistakes and blow both spouses and kids away out of pure stubborness than an honestly perceived desire, however wrongly stated and presented, to bring our dearest loved ones closest to God's Truth, Catholicism.
I still take strong issue especially with meddling clerics, in-laws and parents trying to force the hands of younger couples or their married children in perhaps THE most sensitive role as parents these younger adults will face in their lifetimes. These religious turf/in-law wars are fraught with needless perils and snares; often leading to divorce, not to mention what that brings in train spiritually speaking. Fortunately, Ruth and I avoided the worst, but it hasn't been easy and a lot of that is due to overarching pride on my part when we were younger. Or--was it I was simply afraid to take on my parents who were just as stubbornly Catholic as Protestants could be in their own ways -- not moreso? So, sadly, I must admit I've failed in this respect. Thankfully, however, I can see a small sprouting of a flower springing from the raked April soil.
Maybe it's the anniversary of JP II's death, and Andy watching the movie tonight about Benedict with me on EWTN, plus his questions, interest, and the footage of so many young people, so, so many young faces in their 20s with tears streaming down their cheecks three Aprils ago, that I finally began to see a glimmer of hope through it all. Just as I see it here in the vibrance and exuberant joy of young converts (and older) converts. It's different when you're returning; there's a little wistfulness involved--maybe good old Catholic guilt trip stuff.
Forgive the length of this post and new thread. Perhaps it's somewhat safe to say -- and I mean somewhat -- that I've finally hit that point in life when all the right questions are finally lining up in a way so as to enable me that "golden opportunity" to put them all in a properly ordered context and get at least more than half of them answered. Maybe like the message in the movie Field of Dreams, life is much like baseball and we should be more than happy if we're batting over .300. But that's fine so long as our slugging averages (bringing in runners on base) is high, too. In this case it's our families, other loved ones, friends and humanity in general.
So I pray that those tears shed for John Paul, by young and old alike, will bring forth many more flowers, and Fields of Dreams to come, just as I hope those (and my) tears are perhaps helping my son and the rest of my family, as well as any other family in similar straits, come to know the fullness of union and peace with God that Catholicism can provide.
If you have an Andrew in your life, it's okay to get frustrated, tempted to walk out with your hands up in the air, or your fist pounded into your palm, but always come back. And pray for those with challenging children as you ask them to pray for your kids or other loved ones. Because on one hand, I can see a glimmer of spiritual greatness in Andy's desire to learn more and calm the anger of frustration he feels deep inside--fueled by sheer fear--that's been shared by many learning disabled kids for centuries, never mind recently. And on the other side, I can also see more strife. I just pray and hope I gave him some good advice by reminding him he'll learn through his anger and hatred that he could only live through or by love.
You'll know you've finally reached the point when prayer is all you have left because all those answers you thought you had at the tip of your fingers or tongue just disappear into mist upon hearing the first raised voices or learning that all your pet theories, dreams, schemes and best laid plans are nothing but stones used by Roman soldiers to hold up your personal crosses to bear. On the other hand, maybe that's God's way of saying "Cheer up, your april showers will bear flowers before your eyes."
And, indeed ... they're blooming.
Please, your prayers for all the Andrews, their parents and all and any of us seeking the flowers from our tears of sadness, frustration, anger and loss.
Thank you,
In Jesus' name ... Steven
____________________
For anybody interested in reading commentary from a Catholic's socially conservative/fiscally liberal viewpoint, go to my new blog at http://www.politicsramble.com/ .
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Steven Barrett
Member
| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 979 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 01:33 pm |
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 Oh, I did forget to mention, (and only because I was watching Fr. Mitch this a.m. did I remember to tell people reading this past post) that all our kids are indeed fully baptized. So nobody has to worry in that respect.
Inasmuch as I admire the sincere piety of Protestant parents who have their kids commissioned or presented, I can't understand why they don't see the urgency of getting them baptized like we do, and unlike some Protestants, (but don't whisper this too loudly ... we don't consider ourselves as "Baptists," Just fully FULLY Baptized.!)
Makes me want to shake my head and yell out, "For crying out loud, Do It Right!" at least at the beginning! We might, as I've done, blow it along the line in their lives later, but getting the initial Sacrament is the very least we can do for them once we get the bigger picture. And it's all in The Book, particualrly that part especially favored by Protestants where Jesus meets Nicodemus and tells him what it means to be "born again."
It they're going to miss the picture and Jesus' commands to get people baptized, at least we won't. Right! Can I hear a Big Amen this a.m.?
Loud enough to wake up at least a few Baptists who haven't got their kids baptized yet?
Okay -- now back I go to Fr. Mitch!  
Last edited on Wed Apr 16th, 2008 01:33 pm by Steven Barrett
____________________
For anybody interested in reading commentary from a Catholic's socially conservative/fiscally liberal viewpoint, go to my new blog at http://www.politicsramble.com/ .
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sewnsew
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 849 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 01:44 pm |
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Oh I will keep you in my thoughts. Iknow hard hard the Sped. world is, so do several others on the list. How would your wife feel if your sone did join the Church? Watching my kids this past year has been hard- one Sp. ed, one not but both teens. Can you find some way to open the door to a discussion on HIS feelings in the matter- maybe at first just the two of you so it doesn't get into a hostile discussion?
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Robert
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 12th, 2007 |
| Location: | Germany |
| Posts: | 124 |
| First Name: | Robert | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | The whole spectrum from black to white, now 100% Catholic! |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 02:06 pm |
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Maybe we weren't praying the right way or hard enough for him.
Hi Steve,
Your statement really caught my attention and made me immediately think of the healing of the blind man in the Gospel of John
Jesus makes it clear to his disciples that it was not because of his parents sin(s) that the man was blind.
Have a read through John 9:1-27, it might help, and in the meantime I’ll pray for you and your family.
Last edited on Wed Apr 16th, 2008 03:28 pm by Robert
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Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15)
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True Image
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 7th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 74 |
| First Name: | Anne | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Lifelong devout cradle Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 03:17 pm |
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Stephen,
I will pray for you and your son.  My son has a learning disability too, and I understand the struggle.
Anne
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Steven Barrett
Member
| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 979 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 04:31 pm |
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Dear Kim, Robert and Anne,
Thank you all for your encouragment, shared solidarity and prayers.
It's a day by day thing, and he's up, down, angelic one day, a vandal the next and who knows the day after. Boys, teen boys, and a kid whom I think has been keen enough to see how the system doesn't work as well as how it doesn't. Sometimes he'll take the terminology to suit his own purposes and that doesn't always mix well--especially when he's passed up on taking his meds (Then I achingly wish I didn't let my driv's license expire! Another long and unrelated story.) So I have to be careful and not get my hopes up one way or another concerning his "church or denominational compass."
Right now I'm more than pleased to see his rising interest and how that's playing out. And, of course, with Ruth under the knife as I'm writing, or on her way home with our two girls, she'll need your prayers on that score as well.
Nevertheless, I'm very grateful for your prayers, etc. I've got a hunch all of us can show a wise old high-church Episcopalian American poet from the Show-Me state that April isn't "the cruelest month" after all. Doubt if he'd mind even if he was still alive!
Again, thanks Kim and Anne, (and Danks to you, Robert) -- in His Name!
Steven
Last edited on Wed Apr 16th, 2008 04:34 pm by Steven Barrett
____________________
For anybody interested in reading commentary from a Catholic's socially conservative/fiscally liberal viewpoint, go to my new blog at http://www.politicsramble.com/ .
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Pani Rose
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| Joined: | Fri Oct 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Irondale, Alabama USA |
| Posts: | 557 |
| First Name: | Rose | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Ruthenian Byzantine in a Melkite Greek Catholic Parish, raised ... |
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Posted: Thu May 1st, 2008 09:53 pm |
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O St. Paul, great Apostle of the Gentiles, intercede for us to God. You are God's special vessel of election. Through your intercession we hope to receive from Him this special grace healing and peace for Steven's son and the entire family.
O God, you have instructed many nations through the preaching of the Blessed Apostle Paul. Let the power of his intercession with You help us who venerate his memory this day. Amen.
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Steven Barrett
Member
| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 979 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Fri May 2nd, 2008 03:14 am |
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Thank you very much Rose, thank you.
In His love,
Steven
____________________
For anybody interested in reading commentary from a Catholic's socially conservative/fiscally liberal viewpoint, go to my new blog at http://www.politicsramble.com/ .
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