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Grace2U
Member
| Joined: | Thu Jul 26th, 2007 |
| Location: | Oslo, Norway |
| Posts: | 12 |
| First Name: | Inga | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Calvinist, briefly ICOC (the Boston movement), Pentecostal, converting to Catholic ... |
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Posted: Thu Jul 26th, 2007 09:22 am |
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Hello everyone! May the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you!
I thought sharing my story would be a good way to introduce myself... I should perhaps begin by saying that I am not a Catholic, although at this point of my life I am not quite sure where the journey will take me
I was born and raised in one of the former Soviet countries, in an atheist family (my father was quite a staunch atheist and would later try to forbid me and my mum from going to church). Both of my parents had a doctorate in chemistry, and I grew up surrounded by books of all possible kinds. We also travelled extensively, as much as the iron curtain would allow us. I remember we went for an excursion to Lithuania in 1989, I was 10, almost 11 years old. We came to a cathedral, but it was too crowded for us to explore - it was Pentecost, a big feast for Catholics, they told us. So we were supposed to move on an then come back later, for the Way of the Cross.
I remember entering the church - filled with people who would get down on their knees to worship the God I was not even sure existed - hearing the singing so beautiful it made me wish to linger, to leave our group behind and to experience what the people in the church were experiencing. I've been to some Lutheran and Russian Orthodox churches before, and I certainly read or heard something about God or religion - but this was the first time I actually felt Him... I had to leave, and then come back, and try to understand why noone else was feeling the same way I did, why couldn't I simply stay and live there, right in this church... I knew this was beyond explanation so I never really talked about it - but on that day, the Pentecost of 1989, I was convinced in my heart that God existed - and that I was going to become a Catholic.
I never became one, although I held dear all I knew about the Catholic faith through my childhood years, and the feeling of coming home whenever I would enter a Catholic church has always been there up to this day. Me and my mom started attending a Reformed church some 3 or 4 years later, and I eventually got baptized there at the age of 16 - the same summer I prayed before the statue of the Virgin Mary in a basilica on the feast of the Assumption without a second thought (so obviously doctrinal purity was not my strong point at that time). I did not really want to be baptized into any particular church, I just wanted to be a part of God's people, wanted to be a Christian, so that I could pray as a legitimate daughter of God.
It was not that simple though. I started exploring other faiths and reading New Age books (of the serious kind, very firmly grounded in their beliefs), and although this search strengthened my faith eventually, it also left me with a lot of false concepts about right and wrong. When I left home at the age of 18, after my mother died, I felt I had to explore all that could be explored - not so much alcohol or drugs, but all possible kinds of sexual relations other than those involving commitment. When I moved to Ireland and looked back at my own year of living dangerously, I realized that I had probably lost something forever - I was no longer feeling His presense in the church, where I went for a Christmas mass (Catholic again, yes).
This was when I met the International Churches of Christ. And when they told me that the only place in the Bible where you find the combination 'by faith alone' is actually a verse which says 'NOT by faith alone' - well these words fell on the right soil. I was uncomfortable with the idea that One Church means one physical body of people, for the church must consist of all who follow Christ, but I thought I could ignore this for a time being, and try to be right with God. For me it meant leaving Ireland. I was afraid it would kill me. I survived. In their theology, baptism is essential to justification and salvation, but only if preceded by total repentance - so I was baptised for the second time. I am a bit confused about this now, but it was convincing, at least at the time... I left 10 months later. Not just because I could still not reconcile my belief in the One True Church and theirs - but because I felt that I was maybe not worthy of salvation, since I could never get it right - it seemed to me I was the worst sinner of all times , and couldn't help myself about it. The fact that nobody can, somehow never occurred to me.
I moved to Norway eventually, this is where I live now, and joined a Pentecostal church, because it was closest to where I lived. (In the 'in between' period I attended the Anglican church, because it felt closest to Catholic without the 'idolatry' of which I was now beware). Now, it needs be said thet I was not a Pentecostal at all (but remember the day on which I met God? ), in fact I believed it was completely unbiblical to believe in the supernatural gifts of the Spirit. But they were Christians practicing their faith, and frankly, practicing it so much better than I was mine - so I stayed, and became a member of the church (still holding to a completely different view of baptism though).
The worst part of this period was not knowing whether I was saved or not, because of my sins, which I could never get rid of, and also the bitter pill of knowing that there is no perfect church, only perfect God - but obviously, I would never be good enough for Him... I came to the point when I told Him - Lord, I can't do it. I cannot fulfil the law I have in my heart. I cannot fulfil the law I read in my Bible - it only keeps accusing me- I cannot do anything by myself. I know I don't deserve your mercy and grace and salvation - but I have noone else but You, and in whose else mercy shall I trust? This was a life-changing prayer.
About a year later I studied the book The Gift of Forgiveness
by Charles Stanley. It was only then, after all these years, that I realised what it means to be saved. I couldn't believe I have been so proud and selfish not to see this before. To have a saving faith meant to entrust my salvation to Jesus. I knew I couldn't trust myself. But what I didn't know before was that I wasn't supposed to either. He has done all the work. My salvation could be entrusted into His hands. Grace was indeed simple, so simple, that I rejected it for years. I was finally free. I surrendered my life into the hands of the Lord. I quit smoking immediately, changed my ways and my habits, the marriage I thought was a disastrous mistake eventually blossommed...
As for the Pentecostal - I did become one, after all. Saturday before the Pentecost this year I was prayed for to receive the fullness of the Holy Spirit, miraculously enough, by a Catholic priest. Earlier, I was led to join a Catholic charismatic prayer group, where I found everything I was looking for, most of all - the presence of God through the Spirit. I think I was also the first Protestant ever to recieve the Holy Spirit in the Catholic Church. It gave me so much, even the giver of life Himself, who, as promised, filled me with His Spirit of praise. I also experienced first-hand that Catholics really knew and understood grace, and that were not different at all in this respect. Right now I am reading the Cathechism - I can't help but wondering where it would lead me - but I must say this is a treasure unlike no other, I don't think I have ever realised how amazingly rich the Catholic faith actually was. There are still a lot of unanswered questions, but God will answer them - in due time, I am sure
I hope this may be an encouragement to someone...
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5101 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Thu Jul 26th, 2007 04:16 pm |
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Welcome, Inga, we're happy to have you here with us regardless of where your faith journey might lead. We welcome all who sincerely seek to learn more about the Catholic faith. Many of our members are former Pentecostals, and a few still are.
Welcome to the Coming Home Network.
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Annie
Banned
| Joined: | Wed Feb 14th, 2007 |
| Location: | Columbus, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 734 |
| First Name: | Annie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | nothing, Quaker, Mennonite, Presbyterian, Methodist, Anglican, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Jul 26th, 2007 04:25 pm |
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| That is a wonderful and inspiring faith journey!
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Annie
Ora et labora
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1271 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Fri Jul 27th, 2007 12:45 am |
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| I am so glad to have read your story Inga. Thank you for sharing it with us. I have been greatly influenced in my spiritual life by Charles Stanley. He kept me going when I lost faith in the baptist church. I learned that Jesus had chosen me to be His, not me choosing Him. Then I went on to learn about the fullness of the Truth in the catholic church. God bless you on your journey, I hope you will continue to share it with us.
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5101 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Online
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Posted: Fri Jul 27th, 2007 01:07 am |
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Grace2U wrote: I moved to Norway eventually
By the way, you are our first Norwegian, and I happened to notice that another Norwegian registered right after you but has not posted yet. A coincidence? Not likely. I have a feeling the two of you are somehow connected, and we are very happy to have you both with us. I hope we'll hear from our other new registrant soon.
Welcome again. We're glad you joined us.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Grace2U
Member
| Joined: | Thu Jul 26th, 2007 |
| Location: | Oslo, Norway |
| Posts: | 12 |
| First Name: | Inga | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Calvinist, briefly ICOC (the Boston movement), Pentecostal, converting to Catholic ... |
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Posted: Fri Jul 27th, 2007 04:18 am |
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Credo Catholic wrote: I have been greatly influenced in my spiritual life by Charles Stanley. He kept me going when I lost faith in the baptist church. I learned that Jesus had chosen me to be His, not me choosing Him.
Yes, my point exactly. I am so ashamed to say that I have actually believed I had chosen God, believed for many years. It's a liberating and life-changing truth, to learn that we cannot do anything without Jesus...
I wanted to make another point but got a little bit carried away with my confessions. Many anti-Catholic authors are trying to prove the Catholic Church wrong by bringing up the grace issue - trust in Jesus, the grace of God, faith and works question - and saying that the Church does not teach about grace, or about the necessity of knowing Jesus personally. The evangelical churches, by implication, teach it all the time. As you can see from my story, it obviously doesn't appear to be the truth. I have met many legalistic Protestants, and I have been inspired throughout my life by love and charity of the many Catholics I knew. Moreover, 10 years in the Protestant churches taught me nothing about grace - but the Lord did...
Thank you all for yor welcome, it means a lot!
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gits
Member
| Joined: | Thu Jul 26th, 2007 |
| Location: | Norway |
| Posts: | 5 |
| First Name: | Stig | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Pentecostal/Lutheran priest |
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Posted: Fri Jul 27th, 2007 08:00 pm |
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CajunRick wrote: Grace2U wrote: I moved to Norway eventually
By the way, you are our first Norwegian, and I happened to notice that another Norwegian registered right after you but has not posted yet. A coincidence? Not likely. I have a feeling the two of you are somehow connected, and we are very happy to have you both with us. I hope we'll hear from our other new registrant soon.
Welcome again. We're glad you joined us.
Sorry, but if we are connected neither of us know how, methinks. But it's interesting. I searched for other Scandinavians, but didn't find anyone.
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5101 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Online
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Posted: Fri Jul 27th, 2007 10:35 pm |
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gits wrote: Sorry, but if we are connected neither of us know how, methinks. But it's interesting. I searched for other Scandinavians, but didn't find anyone.
It seems like a very strange coincidence that our first two Scandanavian members would join within a few minutes of each other, but I will certainly take your word for it. We are truly happy to have you both with us.
We have several married couples who are members, usually with one posting frequently and the other rarely, so please forgive me for jumping to a conclusion that obviously doesn't apply in your case.
Most of our members are from the United States, but we do have Canadians, Australians, Asians and Europeans. And quite a few of our members have still not revealed their locations. It is the Internet at its finest, helping us to understand that we really are one Body of Christ.
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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