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bwhite06517
Member
| Joined: | Sat Dec 29th, 2007 |
| Location: | Hamden, Connecticut USA |
| Posts: | 27 |
| First Name: | Bruce | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Methodist, Pentecostal, Baptist, CATHOLIC!!!! |
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Posted: Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 03:08 pm |
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My Conversion Story
Greatly abridged
Bruce White
Hamden, Connecticut
I grew up in Cedar Rapids Iowa. I grew up in a solid Christian home (Methodist) – with Sunday School and Church every Sunday. It was a great environment for growing up in a loving, caring Christian family.
Off to college – and still attended church every Sunday. Graduated, taught high school math for two years – and back to college for a master’s degree. There I soon dated a Catholic young lady (Connie). I had already started to study Catholicism – various readings, low-level visits to Catholic Churches. I was already impressed that Catholic Churches were open all day for people to randomly visit. I understood that Catholics thought that Jesus was present in their churches all the time.
As Connie and I started to get serious in our relationship, the discussion of religion came up frequently. By now, we were both teaching (although in different communities). An evangelical Christian friend started to give me books about being ‘born again’ – and I realized that in my life I had a ‘head knowledge’ of my faith, but not a deep faith – and I did change my priorities to make Jesus primary in my life. The unfortunately factor of this was I became a radical Protestant Christian. I was forceful in our discussions with Connie that we needed to “compromise” between my Methodism and her Catholicism – and were married in a Presbyterian Church (probably not much of a compromise for me – and a terrible loss for her). So we started our married life. Soon, we had two children – and three moves later, I was teaching collegiately at Dakota State University in Madison South Dakota (population about 6,500) and also off to the University of Nebraska to get a doctorate (which I completed in 1990).
Catholicism was still of interest to me, but we grew very active in a Baptist Church. It was a good church to raise our children. I taught an adult Sunday School Bible study; I was a music leader in the church, and active in the men’s group and formed great friendships.
As a professor of Information Systems, I found myself teaching internet web page development and programming in the mid 1990’s. One assignment one day had a link in his assignment: “If you are over 18 you can follow this link”. The link led to the Playboy magazine website. Soon I was addicted to internet pornography. I could close my office door and find the degrading sites. Thus a terrible cycle – look at pornography – feel guilty and sorry for my sins – attend church knowing I was a hypocrite and fervently pray for deliverance and for strength to avoid this sin. Then I repeated the cycle. I felt like Paul writing in Romans chapter 7 – ‘the things I want to do, I don’t do; the things I don’t want to do, I do’. I didn’t feel open to telling my men’s Saturday morning Bible study that I had a problem. I needed confession!!!
I had read deeply and widely about Catholicism – the Sacramental nature of the Church. I at times prayed a rosary. In my studies, I found that the Sacraments were fully scriptural. Jesus really did mean that the Eucharist is HIS body. A second major factor was the apostolic succession – all the Protestant churches had a founder someplace after the year 1500 – and were subject to whims of interpretation.
Then one Sunday in January 1998, the pastor at our Baptist Church gave his sermon on something that was biased, one-sided and generally incomplete from Scriptures. I was slapped with the thought ‘I’m in the wrong church’. And … I knew where I wanted to go. Twelve years of fantastic fellowship in a strong family oriented, Bible believing Baptist Church was hard to turn my back to. And … Connie wasn’t so sure that she wanted (or could) go back to the Catholic Church. I lightly knew the nun who was in charge of the campus Newman group – and I stopped to talk to her. My pulse must have been about 200; my blood pressure must have been off the charts – but I stopped and opened the dialog. “I’m interested in the Catholic Church”. Sister Teresita was wonderful to work with – and the next Sunday I (alone) was at St. Thomas parish. I was also worried “Who knows me here” – as I saw various people I knew from campus – “I hope nobody will want to talk to me after Mass”. The parish was just starting their RCIA program for the year and I showed up that Sunday afternoon for lesson one.
As Lent started, the parish was having a Koinonia weekend – and Sister Teresita signed me up. Koinonia is a three day in-parish retreat similar to Cursillo (or other) weekends. What a wild weekend as the lone (still officially) Protestant. I found the words to say “I’m joining the Catholic Church at Easter”. On Friday evening, I had my first Sacrament – Confession!!! What a joy to get all that sin, all that pornography, all that junk confessed. It sins had an aroma, it would have stunk terribly in that confession. On Saturday evening, the Koinonia activity included Eucharistic adoration. As a group we were around the real presence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. I noticed with great wonder, the ecstasy on many of the faces as they encountered their Lord in the Blessed Sacrament – and really longed to receive Him in the Eucharist. But, the Sunday experience of Koinonia was difficult. Saturday night I was attacked by Satan with questions like: “Why are you doing this?” “These are not your type of people”, “Forget this”, “Stop this foolishness”. Sunday as we closed with Mass, I was (of course) not able to receive Jesus in the Eucharist. By then I had such a longing, such a deep desire to receive Him and with the attack of the night before, became down. Sister Teresita and others helped comfort me as I went forward with my arms crossed over my chest to only receive a blessing.
On Holy Thursday evening, 1998, I was received into the Catholic Church. I told my Catholic friends that if I could have done it physically, I would have done cartwheels going down the aisle to receive my first Holy Communion. I was AT HOME!!!!
So, this year, 2008 is my tenth anniversary of coming home. Am I perfect? No way! Do I still sin? Yes (unfortunately). Do I know how to get that stain of sin out of my system? Yes – in confession! Do I know how to remain close to Jesus? Yes – through as frequent reception of the Blessed Sacrament as possible!!!
Connie did join me – through her confession and return to the Church. So, the two become as one flesh in a united marriage.
In my 50 years as a Protestant, I can estimate attending church about 50 times a year (probably 52 times) – for an approximate total of 2,500 services. In my ten years as a Catholic, I’ve probably been to Mass 250 times each year (as an ‘almost’ daily communicant) – for a total of about 2,500!!! Thanks be to God for His perfect gifts!!!!
Last edited on Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 03:16 pm by bwhite06517
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You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul and all your strength.
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 859 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 03:30 pm |
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Hello, Bruce,
Welcome to the CHNI Forum.
I admire your courage in sharing your testimony.
While I was still an inquirer watching a lot of EWTN programs, I caught a Life on the Rock show one night when the guest was a former addict of pornography. He shared that he had found healing through very frequent confession, daily Mass, and daily reading from The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis.
Can you believe I had never heard of that Christian classic before?
He spoke of it with such reverence that I ordered a copy and began reading it. The book helped draw me into the Catholic Church.
There are websites offering support for persons struggling with pornography addiction like Click here.
Although some of us may not have dealt with that particular problem, we all come to the Lord struggling with various sins in our lives. We all stand in need of His mercy and grace as we seek deliverance from whatever sins trouble us.
May you find support and blessing from this Forum, Bruce.
In Christ,
Becky
Last edited on Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 04:59 pm by Intercessor
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"If our charity is arrested by the difficulties encountered in dealing with our neighbor, . . . our relations with our brethren are not regulated by our love of God, but by our love of self." Divine Intimacy p. 781, Fr. Gabriel, O.C.D.
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paulr
Member
| Joined: | Mon Sep 24th, 2007 |
| Location: | Maple Falls, Washington USA |
| Posts: | 17 |
| First Name: | Paul | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifelong Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 04:45 pm |
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Thank you, Becky, for bringing the PornNoMore.com website to people's attention.
FYI - PNM is my web site and my ministry.
The story in it is about me and my struggles with these demons of impurity.
Like you, I cannot recommend the "Imitation of Christ" emphatically enough.
For people interested in this book, just be aware that there are "Protestantized" versions of this work being sold, so make sure that you get the original, unabridged Catholic version.
God's Blessings!
paul
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Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 859 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 05:21 pm |
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paulr wrote:
Thank you, Becky, for bringing the PornNoMore.com website to people's attention.
FYI - PNM is my web site and my ministry.
God bless you, Paul. Yes, I knew it was your website and your ministry.
I can't imagine one that is more needed today. Thank God there are men like you
and Bruce who are courageous enough to do something to help others.
I hope all the mothers, grandmothers, wives, aunts, sisters will take the time now
to write down the Url for your website, Paul. http://www.pornnomore.com
As Catholics we not only strive toward our own personal holiness, we must also be alert for opportunities to shepherd and help save others who fall beside us on the journey. Catholic women need to know what to advise if a husband, son, brother, grandson, boyfriend, nephew becomes mired in this awful suffering of pornography addiction. Remember the name of this website and remember the triangle of very frequent confession, daily Mass, daily reading of a Catholic version of The Imitation of Christ.
Thank you for your ministry, Paul.
In Christ,
BeckyLast edited on Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 05:29 pm by Intercessor
____________________
"If our charity is arrested by the difficulties encountered in dealing with our neighbor, . . . our relations with our brethren are not regulated by our love of God, but by our love of self." Divine Intimacy p. 781, Fr. Gabriel, O.C.D.
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1212 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 05:23 pm |
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Hi Bruce, welcome to the forum, and thank you for sharing your story. Although we all have slightly different situations, we can all understand and share the joy you have felt in joining the Catholic Church!  As for pornography, we have all been touched by it in one way or another, because our society is saturated with it. And unfortunately, it is addictive, as much as alcohol or nicotine. I am so glad you asked the nun about joining the church, and she was helpful. Going to confession is just about the best way you can "find Jesus" besides receiving the Holy Eucharist.
Paul, I didn't know there were different versions of "Imitation of Christ" and I'm glad you let us know, because it's on my list of books I'd like to read. Now I'll know what to look for! Thanks
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 4981 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Wed Jan 2nd, 2008 10:57 pm |
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paulr wrote: FYI - PNM is my web site and my ministry.
Why don't you post a description and link in Recommended Resources? I'm sure it will come in handy for lots of spouses and parents.
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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paulr
Member
| Joined: | Mon Sep 24th, 2007 |
| Location: | Maple Falls, Washington USA |
| Posts: | 17 |
| First Name: | Paul | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifelong Catholic |
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Posted: Fri Jan 4th, 2008 02:17 pm |
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Rick,
I've added a note and link to the CHN Forum Resources under "Pornography Addiction".
Thanks for the opportunity!
paul
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Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam
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Dave Armstrong
Network Apologist
| Joined: | Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Melvindale, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 1227 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Nominal Methodist / evangelical non-denom / "Bapticostal" / Catholic |
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Posted: Fri Jan 4th, 2008 06:36 pm |
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| Welcome, Bruce and thanks so much for sharing your story. It's always good to have professors in the mix! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions on this forum.
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I'm happy to offer whatever theological & personal assistance I can. My blog, Biblical Evidence for Catholicism, contains 1900+ papers & web pages (absolutely free) & 16 apologetic books (for sale):
http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/
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