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Eddie_in_Bham
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Joined: Tue Feb 19th, 2008
Location: Birmingham, Alabama USA
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First Name: Eddie
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 Posted: Thu Feb 21st, 2008 02:22 am

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Hello, my name is Eddie.  My family and I live in Birmingham, AL.  I committed my life to Christ about 17 years ago at age 26.  I grew up as a Baptist, but I did have a lot of interaction with the local Catholic church in my neighborhood (Scouts, summer day camps). I turned away from God and sought truth in philosophy (both Eastern and Western), but I came back to Christianity after marrying my wife, who is the daughter of an independent Christian Church pastor (kinda like Church of Christ with music).  For the most part, we have been involved in nondenominational churches, mostly Calvinist in nature. 

But, I have been increasingly drawn to Catholicism over the years. I have been heavily influenced by Catholic writers (Merton, Nouwen, Walker Percy, Flannery O'Connor, St John of the Cross, etc) and actually did a retreat at a local monastery.  I also have had the usual doctrinal issues (papal infallability, Immaculate Conception, "praying to" saints). However, after the study of Scriptures, church history, and Kreeft's book on the catechism, along with prayer, I feel that God is leading me to the conclusion that the Catholic church is His True Church. I'm not there yet but am becoming more convinced.

My wife has always been resistant to Catholicism.  We did have a short conversation about it last night; her final words were "I can't see it happening" (due to impact on our children).  Conversion would also cause a major rift between us and her parents. My question to all of you: If I believe the Catholic church is the true church, but my wife disagrees, what do I do?  Convert anyway and pray for her understanding? How will this affect my children? I know that Christ commands us to be willing to leave all behind for Him, but does this apply here?

I have contacted a priest here in B'ham to talk through these issues (he's a former Baptist preacher!).  Please pray for me and for my family as we struggle with these issues.  God bless!


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CajunRick
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Joined: Fri Sep 29th, 2006
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 Posted: Thu Feb 21st, 2008 02:47 am

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Hi, Eddie, welcome to the forum.  We'll be happy to answer your questions and walk with you on your journey, wherever it might lead.

I won't answer this question, though.  I've always been Catholic and married to a Catholic in a Catholic community, so I've never had to confront an issue like the one you're facing.  Many of our members have, including most of the rest of our moderators.  (I'm sort of the token "cradle Catholic").  So I'll let those who have dealt with the issue answer your question.

Meanwhile, you might want to look over a thread called "When Only One Converts" in the Conversion Stories forum.  (I would include a link, but we're having server issues AGAIN and I can't load it at the moment.)  It's an ongoing discussion of exactly this problem, and I think you'll find some helpful answers there.

Welcome once again.  We're glad to have you with us.



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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine

Rick Luquette
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Kim M.
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 Posted: Thu Feb 21st, 2008 03:06 am

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Welcome, Eddie! I'm new here and looking into Catholicism, as well. My hubby is a bit reluctant, but I see him softening a bit. I can't advise you, but wanted to welcome you.



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"A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

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Intercessor
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Joined: Tue Sep 25th, 2007
Location: Southcentral, Kentucky USA
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 Posted: Thu Feb 21st, 2008 03:19 am

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Hello, Eddie. Welcome to the forum. I just want to encourage you a bit. I'm so glad you have contacted a priest and will pray for him as he guides you. My only suggestion is that you can find strength and peace through Adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

May the Holy Spirit lead you.
Becky



____________________
"If our charity is arrested by the difficulties encountered in dealing with our neighbor, . . . our relations with our brethren are not regulated by our love of God, but by our love of self." Divine Intimacy p. 781, Fr. Gabriel, O.C.D.

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Eddie_in_Bham
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Joined: Tue Feb 19th, 2008
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First Name: Eddie
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Faith History: Baptist, seeker, Nondenominational (Evangelical, Calvinist)
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 Posted: Thu Feb 21st, 2008 03:20 am

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Rick,

Thanks for pointing me to the "When only one converts" thread.  I now see that many others have been in the same situation I'm facing.

I'm glad to be here as well!

Eddie


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JillD
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 Posted: Thu Feb 21st, 2008 05:08 am

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Hi Eddie,

(Great name!  Edward? Edmund? Edwin??  My grandfather, father, brother, and nephew are all Edmund's.)

Anyway....    This advice is from someone who rarely takes it herself, but who, when she does, finds it works: take things as they come.  Don't push your wife, don't hold yourself back, just let each day unfold.  Keep praying for her understanding.  Pray for her to respect your search, even if she never comes along.  Pray and follow what God reveals.  Eventually, I found that not joining the Church was not an option.  (Forgive the double negative.  It's the way it was.)

I'm the only Catholic in my family - - - - - - SO FAR!  I just keep praying...

Jill



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"The alternative to obedience is to turn the conversation into a cacophony of Christians making it up as they go along." - Fr. Richard John Neuhaus

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Intercessor
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 Posted: Thu Feb 21st, 2008 05:57 am

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Jill, the Lord used your post to bless me this evening.

Becky



____________________
"If our charity is arrested by the difficulties encountered in dealing with our neighbor, . . . our relations with our brethren are not regulated by our love of God, but by our love of self." Divine Intimacy p. 781, Fr. Gabriel, O.C.D.

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Pani Rose
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Joined: Fri Oct 5th, 2007
Location: Irondale, Alabama USA
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 Posted: Thu Feb 21st, 2008 08:02 am

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Welcome Eddie,

If we can help let us know. 

You are welcome to come visit at St. George too :D 
See what the Eastern side of the Church is like.

Fr. Grey Bean, a truly awesome priest, you will be blessed!

OH, I know.  Jim and Joy Pinto are going to do a Parish Lenten Retreat at OLS in Homewood, March 5-7.  It is on Marriage and the Sacraments.  Jim is a former Episcopalian priest, both give awesome presentations.  I think your wife would enjoy hearing them both, especially Joy. About Jim  http://www.priestsforlife.org/staff/pinto.htm

If you are drawn the Charismatic Renewal, we have a prayer meeting on Thursday nights at Our Lady of Sorrows, family life center, at 7pm.

Pani Rose

Last edited on Thu Feb 21st, 2008 08:05 am by Pani Rose


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CajunRick
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 Posted: Thu Feb 21st, 2008 02:37 pm

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JillD wrote: Hi Eddie,

(Great name!  Edward? Edmund? Edwin??  My grandfather, father, brother, and nephew are all Edmund's.)

My dad and brother are both Eddie (Edwin).

Then of course there is the infamous former governor of Louisiana, Edwin Edwards, who's most famous saying is "The only way they're gonna git me is if they catch me in bed with a dead girl or a live boy!"  He is currently serving 10 years in a federal prison, which proves he was wrong.  He was only caught in bed with live girls and lobbyists with fists full of cash.




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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine

Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane

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kimdyuma
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 Posted: Thu Feb 21st, 2008 03:31 pm

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Eddie- What some of us have done is go to Mass at a different time and then accompany the family to THEIR service. The churches' flexibility with so many Masses makes this an option for us. After I had been attending both churches for a while my family settled down and became more accepting of my conversion. Now a years later my kids have decided to join the Catholic church too. My husband who is not a Christian but has attended church with us is also willing to attend with us at the Catholic church. Time and patience accomplishes a lot.



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Laughing Elf
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Joined: Sat Feb 16th, 2008
Location: Alabama USA
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 Posted: Fri Feb 22nd, 2008 02:40 am

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Hi Eddie (fellow Alabamian!),

I'm real new here but want to welcome you (I'm so new you are the first person I've welcomed here :))

It appears we've read some of the same authors. I've also been on retreat in Cullman (Sacred Heart Monastery) for the Centering Prayer practice.

I feel for you my friend as similiar issues exist in our house.  My wife is very resistant to Catholicism as well. She is convinced that my conversion would create parent and in-law issues, etc. She also stated that she did not want us to drift apart. 

I told her that while I must walk down this path of exploration,  I promised her I'd not join the Catholic church during 2008.  This apparently gave her enough breathing room for now. 

My prayers are with you,

Peace,

Rod

 



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"Home is behind, the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight."
Tolkien, LOTR I

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Kim M.
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 Posted: Fri Feb 22nd, 2008 03:21 am

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My dad and brother are both Eddie (Edwin).
I am unaware of there being any Eds of any kind in my fambly. I feel so deprived!!



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"A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

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Pani Rose
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 Posted: Fri Feb 22nd, 2008 10:25 am

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Laughing Elf wrote: Hi Eddie (fellow Alabamian!),

I'm real new here but want to welcome you (I'm so new you are the first person I've welcomed here :))

It appears we've read some of the same authors. I've also been on retreat in Cullman (Sacred Heart Monastery) for the Centering Prayer practice.

I feel for you my friend as similiar issues exist in our house.  My wife is very resistant to Catholicism as well. She is convinced that my conversion would create parent and in-law issues, etc. She also stated that she did not want us to drift apart. 

I told her that while I must walk down this path of exploration,  I promised her I'd not join the Catholic church during 2008.  This apparently gave her enough breathing room for now. 

My prayers are with you,

Peace,

Rod

 
Hi Rod,

Welcome! From another Alabamian :D


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Laughing Elf
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 Posted: Fri Feb 22nd, 2008 12:55 pm

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Hi Rose,

Wow, The Magic City is pretty active here. 

Blessings,

Rod



____________________
"Home is behind, the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight."
Tolkien, LOTR I

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Irenic
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Joined: Mon Nov 5th, 2007
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 Posted: Fri Feb 22nd, 2008 03:19 pm

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Welcome from yet another Alabamian (I'm up north near Huntsville) and a fellow former-Baptist!



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Through Him, with Him, and in Him, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, all glory and honor is yours, almighty Father, for ever and ever.

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rbo4u2
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 Posted: Fri Feb 22nd, 2008 03:27 pm

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Welcome Eddie.  I'm a Presbyterian looking seriously into the Catholic Church.  I'm not from Alabama but from the left coast.  I prefer my earthquakes over tornados and hurricanes.  :D

God bless you in your journey. 

Rich


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Eddie_in_Bham
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Joined: Tue Feb 19th, 2008
Location: Birmingham, Alabama USA
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 Posted: Sat Feb 23rd, 2008 04:11 am

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Thanks to all for welcome, kind words, words of wisdom, and prayers.  I'm so grateful that God led me to Coming Home.  And to think, I found the site by doing a Google search on sola scriptura.  (Which, by the way, I now see is greatly problematic, after reading the issue of the Coming Home Journal on s.s.  I highly recommend the Journal for those struggling with Church authority, Mary, and tradition.)  I feel much less alone in my struggle after reading what was posted in response to my message, and I know that I have fellow travellers in the journey I will be facing in the near future.

I really appreciate the advice to wait and to let each day unfold.  I am continuing to seek God's will and am spending much of my spare time reading and praying.  I have a meeting scheduled with a priest (yes, Pani, it is Fr. Bean!), and I hope to find a RCIA class.  I just feel that I'm getting closer and closer to what Jill described, where not joining the church is not an option.

BTW, I am "Edward" (I hated it growing up, because I'm a junior, but I like it now).  And Edwin Edwards -- now there's a character.  I used to have a friend from NOLA who was a huge Edwards supporter, despite his obviously shady character.  My friend said that he didn't care what EE did -- he was the only one who looked out for the working man!

Thanks again, and may God continue to bless each of you!

Eddie

P.S. -- A big shout out to all my fellow Alabamians on the board!



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TotusTuus
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 Posted: Thu Feb 28th, 2008 04:26 am

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Welcome Eddie and Rod from another Alabamian (Mark in Huntsville).  Let me make a suggestion while putting in a good word for our brother Marcus.  Make a point to have your television pointed to EWTN on Monday nights during the Journey Home broadcast.  As much as I enjoy the show, I think my wife enjoys it even more. Marcus is such a humble and charitable man, and the stories are usually very engaging. Your wife may surprise you and start to watch.

Why not "accidentally" leave a good book on the nightstand, something like "Journeys Home" by Marcus Grodi or "A Biblical Defense of Catholicism" by Dave Armstrong or "Evnagelical is not  Enough" by Thomas  Howard?  The  CH bookstore is here:  http://www.chresources.com/categories.php?cat=7.

There are a number of excellent audio testimonies as well (starting perhaps with Scott and Kimberly Hahn).

Must be the prayers of those cloistered sisters (Poor Clares, Dominicans) in Alabama which has got the Spirit moving here!


Last edited on Thu Feb 28th, 2008 04:27 am by TotusTuus



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Joslyn
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 Posted: Tue May 6th, 2008 02:26 am

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Hi, Eddie!

My heart goes out to you and your family! You asked, "If I believe the Catholic church is the true church, but my wife disagrees, what do I do?  Convert anyway and pray for her understanding? How will this affect my children? I know that Christ commands us to be willing to leave all behind for Him, but does this apply here?" I cannot say what you should do in your particular circumstance, but if I were you-- and I have been in similar circumstances-- I would keep praying unceasingly and follow where Christ is leading you. If you believe that the Catholic Church is the true church, the Pillar and Foundation of Truth, and the fullness of the Christian faith, then your heart will only be satisfied when you are recieved into the Church.

However, it might take you a while. From the time I became convinced of the truth, it still tool me three years to convert. Part of that was due to worry over what my family would think and say about my wanting to become Catholic. In the end, everything I fretted about DID happen. I lost my home and family. But God is faithful, and today, my family is closer then ever, and they are much more open minded towards the Church. My mother now sends me Lenten reflections, which she gets from her job at a Catholic hospital, and when Pope Benedict was elected, she called to congratulate me. I cannot say that the same will be true for you, but I can say that Our Lord and Our Lady will be with you every single step of the way.

You will be in my constant prayers, brother.

May God Continue to Bless You.

In Him,
Joslyn


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Dave Armstrong
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 Posted: Tue May 6th, 2008 09:32 pm

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Hi Eddie,

Welcome. It's tough to say what to do in your situation. It's good to go slow with your wife; look for common ground, don't be pushy at all. You have to use your judgment as to whether she is becoming more open at all. If so, then time is on your side, and it might be wise and prudent to wait for a while, so that your wife would be more receptive.

If she shows no movement at all in the right direction, however, there may come a time when you have to do what you must do, in good conscience, and, sadly, it would be with a price. Abstractly speaking, all people have the right to worship as they see fit, and to follow their conscience. But in real life, as we all know, that can be a very tricky business. 

If you hang around here, you can get plenty of practical advice from people who have gone through similar experiences (I didn't have to go through this particular one, but many here have). Then you can exercise prudence (soaked in prayer) to know what is best to do in your case. May God grant you much strength and wisdom.

 



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http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/

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tedjenczewski
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 Posted: Wed May 7th, 2008 12:57 am

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Peace be with you Eddie. I recently reverted and my wife threatened to leave me. But we are doing much better now because I attend the PCA church with her frequently while going to mass on Sat. eve and submitting to the authority and teaching of the Catholic Church. I pray my example and that of others will eventually lead her to the truth. I have had several lengthy discussions with the PCA pastor who desires to re-convert me to Calvinism. But after  discussing the biblical basis for Catholic teaching and the teaching of the early fathers, his "sola scriptura" arguments seem to become ineffectual and lack authority. I suggest you read the early fathers and "A Biblical Defense of Catholicism" before converting so you will have a strong basis of reason behind your conversion. The biggest difficulty in my experience is explaining purgatory and indulgences, and the huge abuses that led to the reformation. The Calvinists like to think that this justified the schism and shows that the Catholic Church is full of errors and un-biblical teaching.



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