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Credo Catholic
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| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1268 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Mar 3rd, 2008 08:39 pm |
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I have something good and something bad to tell. First the good thing, tomorrow night my son picks up a one-year chip at AA, meaning he's been sober for one year. It's wonderful, and truly an answer to many prayers, some to St. Monica on his behalf. It will be a big deal, they call it a "birthday" and have special speakers and visitors. His Dad and I will be there of course.
Now the bad thing, apparently its the custom for someone's mother to hand them the "chip" and say a few words. As I've mentioned before I have certain phobias around people and the biggest one is speaking before a group. It's not just shyness or butterflies in the stomach, it's outright crazy panic! I will have to get through it for his sake, but do any of you have this kind of problem and any tips? Also, any suggestions on what I could say? Say quickly? Say quickly and back out the door?! Thanks
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kimdyuma
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 774 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Mon Mar 3rd, 2008 08:53 pm |
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| As someone who made her 3 year old introduce herself and her non verbal (at the time) older brother in Realtor's meeting wherre people where required to introduce their guests beleive me I can sympathize. In fact i will refuse to attend some meetings rather than say name! Now as for tips- don't look at the crowd- look slightly over their eyelevel or at mouth level, keep it short
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Adopt from your local Humane Society- Please spay or neuter your pets
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EMarshallBuckles
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | Rockville (Near Richmond), Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 563 |
| First Name: | Marshall | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Christian Church,Episcopal Church,Baptist denomination,learning about RCC |
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Posted: Mon Mar 3rd, 2008 09:34 pm |
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Someone once advised that it helped them to pretend that they were the only one clothed and that everyone else was naked when they speak to a large gathering, ha, ha!  Somehow, I think that would only make ME more nervous, ha, ha!  When I used to open and close court and hearing sessions and make announcements, as a Deputy Clerk and later as a Commission Bailiff, I always would picture Jesus standing there by my side with His arm around my shoulder. I would also remember that the people in front of me were all humans, like me, and that we are all God's children. I am not a great public speaker and somehow remembering that Jesus, Lord of Lords and King of Kings, was with me helped me. Also, if you can think ahead of what you'd like to say and have it written on a little "crib card", small enough to hold in the palm of your hand(or even written on your hand, ha, ha), even if you don't use it, having that as a "back up" can help. Just remember that Jesus is with you and, with His help, you can do ANYTHING!! And CONGRATULATIONS to your son! That is just WONDERFUL that he has achieved this important accomplishment! I pray for God's continued blessings upon him and upon your family!!
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5079 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 12:40 am |
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Credo Catholic wrote: apparently its the custom for someone's mother to hand them the "chip" and say a few words.
Might I suggest you hand him the chip and say, "Praise God!", "Thank God!", or something similar? Or to give credit to your son, "You have answered my prayers!" That gives him credit while letting everyone know you've been praying for him, and it's only 5 words!
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 950 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 12:45 am |
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CredoCatholic wrote:
Now the bad thing, apparently its the custom for someone's mother to hand them the "chip" and say a few words. As I've mentioned before I have certain phobias around people and the biggest one is speaking before a group. It's not just shyness or butterflies in the stomach, it's outright crazy panic! I will have to get through it for his sake, but do any of you have this kind of problem and any tips? Also, any suggestions on what I could say? Say quickly? Say quickly and back out the door?! Thanks
Marcia, I am thrilled to hear of your son's milestone and can only imagine the gratitude in your heart for all it involved and for its significance to your family.
Try thinking of yourself as the mother figure of the persons gathered. They have problems and need tender maternal love and attention. Each one there will be carrying a cross (or many, many crosses) and many deep wounds. Some of them will never have known a relationship with a mother like you or they will have already lost a mother. Let God love them for a few moments through you. Focus on their needs, not on your anxiety.
As for what to say-- when I shared my story of going to the cemetery to pray for the souls there, you referred to the little gifts our children make us. I suggest you say something like this:
When "Johnny" was three, he brought me a fistful of dandelions one afternoon. When he was five and wanted to give his sick mommy a present, he scrawled green and purple crayons over a picture of a truck and proudly handed it to me as a gift. I now have it framed (twenty-five years later) in my bedroom and treasure it. But of all the gifts "Johnny" has ever given me, this one tonight is most special. Thank you, "Johnny," for the love behind tonight's gift. I'm so proud of you.
Love you, Marcia,
BeckyLast edited on Tue Mar 4th, 2008 01:24 am by Intercessor
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"If our charity is arrested by the difficulties encountered in dealing with our neighbor, . . . our relations with our brethren are not regulated by our love of God, but by our love of self." Divine Intimacy p. 781, Fr. Gabriel, O.C.D.
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1268 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 02:59 am |
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Becky, that's a great idea. Although I can't wear eye make-up if I do! I'll cry and look like Tammy Faye. 
Thank you all for your help. I can think of each one of you and what you've said and it will be a big help. And yes, the important thing, the only thing, is helping the others there and not focusing on myself. That's what is so tough about a phobia, it's not rational and it's very near uncontrollable.
But I will concentrate on imaging everyone there but me having no clothes on, Jesus being by my side, I will look over their heads, and holding up a little card read a few pertinent things my son did for me and how much more I like what he is doing now!! Who is the patron saint of difficult cases, St. Rita? Oh help!
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5079 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 04:05 am |
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Credo Catholic wrote: Who is the patron saint of difficult cases, St. Rita? Oh help!
St. Jude is the patron of impossible cases. Pray to St. Rita!
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Candlemass
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| Joined: | Tue May 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Hudson, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 462 |
| First Name: | Mark | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, AOG, Baptist, non - denominational, Anglican, CC for life! |
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Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 04:08 am |
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CajunRick wrote:
St. Jude is the patron of impossible cases.
That would be a good Saint for me!
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"For we have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles—when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries."--1st Peter 4:3 NKJV
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Didi
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 3rd, 2008 |
| Location: | Oregon USA |
| Posts: | 168 |
| First Name: | Didi | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic; almost left; Now an On-Fire Catholic! |
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Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 04:11 am |
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If you find yourself at a loss for words, ask St. Jude to help you find the right ones! It has helped me before!
And just concentrate on your son and talk to him; forget there's anybody else in the room!
God bless.
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David W. Emery
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Brownsville, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 1790 |
| First Name: | David | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 04:13 am |
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But you’re not impossible, Mark. Where is your trust in divine grace? St. Rita is best for you. Difficult, not impossible.
David
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 950 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 04:16 am |
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Hello, Didi, welcome to the forum.
Maybe you will start a HELLO thread in Fellowship Hall and give folks a chance
to greet you. 
Glad you're here,
Becky
____________________
"If our charity is arrested by the difficulties encountered in dealing with our neighbor, . . . our relations with our brethren are not regulated by our love of God, but by our love of self." Divine Intimacy p. 781, Fr. Gabriel, O.C.D.
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Annie
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| Joined: | Wed Feb 14th, 2007 |
| Location: | Columbus, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 734 |
| First Name: | Annie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | nothing, Quaker, Mennonite, Presbyterian, Methodist, Anglican, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Mar 4th, 2008 04:01 pm |
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I used to have this problem. I got over it by realizing that the huge group of people I was afraid of came to hear my words, not me personally. And I came to look at them as friends I hadn't yet met and felt better. And I also realized that most people are afraid of public speaking to some degree and they would all be sitting there thinking, "wow, she's brave. But then again she's probably as scared as I would be up there."
You will be fine. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Panic attacks are all about fear of being afraid. Say to the fear, "begone, you are of Satan, this celebration is for MY beloved son who has come through so much and we want to honor him here today."
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Annie
Ora et labora
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1268 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Mar 5th, 2008 09:11 pm |
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I am extremely proud of my son today. Last night I heard wonderful things said about him and it was good, to hear total strangers stand up and speak about how he is trying so hard to stay sober and in school and working full time. I have been praying to Our Blessed Mother and to St. Monica for such a long time, I mean a long long time! But then, when he himself got up to speak I was floored. He was so calm and spoke about how thankful he was to be there and thanked us, his parents for being there, and I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm bragging, but he was great! Praise God a thousand times.
Now if you're all wondering about my panic attack, it turned out I didn't have to speak! His sponsor did it, because my son told him how uncomfortable I would be. So it was a lovely night, and if he someday gets up to receive a fifty-year medal, it wouldn't be any more special to me.
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Didi
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 3rd, 2008 |
| Location: | Oregon USA |
| Posts: | 168 |
| First Name: | Didi | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic; almost left; Now an On-Fire Catholic! |
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Posted: Wed Mar 5th, 2008 09:23 pm |
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What wonderful news!
I have a brother who suffers from addiction, he and his wife both. Right now they are estranged from the family, but I pray for them all the time! Hearing stories of people who are learning to manage their addictions really encourages me.
Keep Mike and Kay in your prayers, please, that they will seek the help they need.
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1268 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Mar 5th, 2008 10:49 pm |
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| I will remember them in prayer. If at all possible, try and keep in contact with them. They need love and support, even when they think they don't.
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 950 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Mar 5th, 2008 11:09 pm |
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Marcia, I share your joy.
Didi, I will pray for Mike and Kay.
____________________
"If our charity is arrested by the difficulties encountered in dealing with our neighbor, . . . our relations with our brethren are not regulated by our love of God, but by our love of self." Divine Intimacy p. 781, Fr. Gabriel, O.C.D.
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kimdyuma
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 774 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Thu Mar 6th, 2008 08:17 pm |
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| Marsha How did it go?
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Adopt from your local Humane Society- Please spay or neuter your pets
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Credo Catholic
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| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1268 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Mar 6th, 2008 11:06 pm |
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| It was a very good night. There were friends of my son who stood and read and spoke about him and how hard he is trying to turn his life around, and it was so good to hear other people say things like that. One friend was the main speaker and talked about his own life and struggles, which is what the program is about, sharing the good and the bad. I did not have to speak, his sponsor did, and I am so thankful that he did, because he had worked with my son on the steps, and I haven't. I know a little that he has shared, but not a lot, because it's his privacy and I don't ask many questions! I know one thing, this is a worthwhile program for those who take it seriously. I came home and literally knelt down and thanked God and Mary and St. Monica and whoever else was listening for helping my son see a better way of dealing with life than alcohol and drugs. Thanks for asking!
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pam
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| Joined: | Sat Nov 11th, 2006 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 111 |
| First Name: | Pam | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Former Non-denominational Bible Church |
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Posted: Fri Mar 7th, 2008 07:39 pm |
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| Marsha, Thank you so much for the update. I've been thinking about you, your son, and the event a lot this week. How wonderfully it all worked out! I know it meant a lot to your son to have you and his dad there. And to you, his parents, to be given the chance to support him with your presence and acknowledge this milestone. I so much agree with you about giving our grown children privacy, while keeping them constantly in prayer. It isn't easy when the issues become complex.
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