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Margaret Rose
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| First Name: | Margaret | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | catholic, charismatic catholic, currently attending mennonite church |
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Posted: Wed Jul 11th, 2007 09:15 pm |
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I haven't been to confession for many years, and have a long, long story. I think I need to make a special appointment. Can I do this, and how do I go about it? Priests are so busy these days. Thanks.
MR
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BodRod
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| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
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| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Wed Jul 11th, 2007 09:47 pm |
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Hi Margaret,
Considering what you have posted, I would call the church office and ask for an appointment with the priest. In my church office, they ask about how much time I think I will need. I give them an estimate and they give me a day and time to come in and see Father. In your case, you may want to tell the secretary that you have some special problems you want to discuss with Father so you might need 45 minutes or an hour or what ever you think you will need. In my case, I usually get my business done in less time than I thought I would need. Then Father and I chat a few minutes. One of the great things about of our pastor is that while I am in his office, he makes me feel like I am the ONLY appointment he is going to have all day. My opinion is that for the most part, priests understand our concerns and fears and take those concerns and fears into account when they are dealing with us and helping us.
I wish you all the best on your Journey.
____________________
Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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CajunRick
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Posted: Thu Jul 12th, 2007 12:30 am |
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Margaret Rose wrote: I haven't been to confession for many years, and have a long, long story. I think I need to make a special appointment. Can I do this, and how do I go about it? Priests are so busy these days. Thanks.
I agree with Criff's suggestion. Call the parish and make an appointment to see the priest. If you like, you can tell them you need to make a general confession. I would give it an hour so you'll have time to be comfortable with him, and not feel rushed. For nearly all priests, it is the high point of their ministry to welcome people back to the faith, so don't feel that you're imposing on him. Jesus said there would be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 who have no need of repentance, so you will really be doing him a favor by giving him the highlight of his week.
Know also that all the angels and saints will be rejoicing as you are absolved of your sins. We'll be rejoicing with you, too!
Welcome home.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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BettyBoopToo
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| Location: | Camas/Washougal, Washington USA |
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Posted: Thu Jul 12th, 2007 01:04 am |
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Margaret Rose wrote: I haven't been to confession for many years, and have a long, long story. I think I need to make a special appointment. Can I do this, and how do I go about it? Priests are so busy these days. Thanks.
MR
Hello Margaret! Welcome to the network. We're very happy to have you.
the guys answered your questions great, but I thought you may like to look at another document that could help you and bring back memories, depending on how long you've been away.
This is a copy of the document that Father gives to us, and the one I normally use. I hope it can help.
welcome home
GB Betty
H OW TO GO TO CONFESSION
1. Examine your conscience. You can use the Ten Commandments as a guide or the “Beatitudes”(Matthew Ch. 5).
2. After the priest greets you with the Sign of the Cross make the Sign of the Cross and say: “ Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been (state how long) since my last confession. These are my sins.”
3. Tell your sins simply and honestly to the priest. You might even want to discuss the circumstances and the root causes of your sins and ask the priest for advice or direction. You have to confess mortal sins and give a sense of how often. Don’t be embarrassed.
4. Listen to the advice the priest gives you and accept the penance from him. Then make an Act of Contrition for your sins.
A N ACT OF CONTRITION
M Y GOD, I AM SORRY FOR MY SINS WITH ALL MY HEART. IN CHOOSING TO DO WRONG AND FAILING TO DO GOOD, I HAVE SINNED AGAINST YOU WHOM I SHOULD LOVE ABOVE ALL THINGS. I FIRMLY INTEND, WITH YOUR HELP, TO DO PENANCE, TO SIN NO MORE, AND TO AVOID WHATEVER LEADS ME TO SIN. OUR SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST SUFFERED AND DIED FOR US. IN HIS NAME, MY GOD, HAVE MERCY. AMEN.
5. The priest will then conclude with the words: “Go in Peace”. You respond: “ Thanks be to God.”
6. Spend some time with Our Lord thanking and praising Him for the gift of His mercy. Try to perform your penance as soon as possible.
A N EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE
1. I am the Lord your God. You shall not have strange gods before me.
-Do I give God time every day in prayer?
-Do I seek to love Him with my whole heart?
-Have I been involved with superstitious practices or have I been involved with the occult?
-Do I seek to surrender myself to God’s word as taught by the Church?
-Have I ever received communion in the state of mortal sin?
-Have I ever deliberately told a lie in Confession or have I withheld a mortal sin from the priest in Confession?
-Are there other “gods” in my life? Money, Security, Power, People, etc.?
2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
-Have I used God’s name in vain: lightly or carelessly?
-Have I wished evil upon any other person?
3. Remember to keep holy the Lord’s Day.
-Have I deliberately missed Mass on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation?
-Have I tried to observe Sunday as a family day and a day of rest?
-Do I do needless work on Sunday?
4. Honor your father and your mother.
-Do I honor and obey my parents?
-Have I neglected my duties to my spouse and children?
-Have I given my family good religious example?
-Do I try to bring peace into my home life?
-Do I care for my aged and infirm relatives?
5. You shall not kill.
-Have I had an abortion or encouraged or helped anyone to have an abortion?
-Have I physically harmed anyone?
-Have I abused alcohol or drugs?
-Did I give scandal to anyone, thereby leading him or her into sin?
-Have I been angry or resentful?
-Have I harbored hatred in my heart?
-Have I mutilated myself through any form of sterilization?
-Have I encouraged or condoned sterilization?
-Have I engaged, in any way, in sins against human life such as artificial insemination or in vitro fertilization?
-Have I participated in or approved of euthanasia?
6. You shall not commit adultery.
-Have I been faithful to my marriage vows in thought and action?
-Have I used any method of contraception or artificial birth control in my marriage?
-Have I respected all members of the opposite sex, or have I thought of other people as mere objects?
-Do I seek to be pure in my thoughts, words, actions?
-Am I careful to dress modestly?
7. You shall not steal.
-Have I stolen what is not mine?
-Do I waste time at work, school, and home?
-Do I gamble excessively, thereby denying my family of their needs?
-Do I pay my debts promptly?
-Do I seek to share what I have with the poor?
-Have I cheated anyone out of what is justly theirs, for example creditors, insurance companies, big corporations?
8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
-Have I lied? Have I gossiped?
-Do I speak badly of others behind their back?
-Am I critical, negative or uncharitable in my thoughts of others?
-Do I keep secret what should be kept confidential?
-Have I injured the reputation of others by slanders?
9. You shall not desire your neighbor’s wife.
-Have I consented to impure thoughts?
-Have I caused them by impure reading, movies, television, conversation or curiosity?
-Do I pray at once to banish impure thoughts and temptations?
-Have I behaved in an inappropriate way with members of the opposite sex: flirting, being superficial, etc.?
10. You shall not desire your neighbor’s goods.
-Am I jealous of what other people have?
-Do I envy the families or possessions of others?
-Am I greedy or selfish? -Are material possessions the purpose of my life?
http://www.st-thomascamas.org/forms/exam_conscience.pdf
____________________
Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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CajunRick
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Posted: Thu Jul 12th, 2007 08:03 am |
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Excellent, Betty, thanks for posting that.
I might add that a the penance assigned by the priest is not carved in stone. You can question it if it imposes an undue burden. For example, if the priest tells you to fast and you are diabetic, or if he tells you to attend Eucharistic Adoration but it's while you're working, you can ask him for a different assignment. Or, if you accept his penance and later determine you can't meet it, tell the priest the next time you go to confession that you were unable to complete a prior penance.
Absolution is not conditional on the performance of a penance. Forgiveness is a freely given gift from God. The penance is intended to help you improve your life spiritually, and the failure to complete a penance does not negate the absolution but is a sin itself.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Margaret Rose
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Posted: Thu Jul 12th, 2007 11:34 am |
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Thank you ever so much for your very helpful replies. I was almost afraid to look at my replies, as I have had negative experiences at other "Catholic" sites.
I do already have my sins all typed out :-) Actually I did a 5th step writing (as in the 12 Steps). Will he also listen to that? Does it "count" if the priest reads everything I wrote, or do I have to say it, or could I even read it to him?
I have speech problems though (hyperventilation) and chronic fatigue for one thing.
My main issue is that I got married out of the church to a divorced man (a Christian, but not Catholic) and so have not been a practicing catholic, though I still consider myself catholic.. well, that's part of my story.
Thanks for the "How To Go To Conf." list. I will go over that, also.
Oh... another problem I have is that I tend to be scrupulous in some areas. (I hear that is a form of OCD, which I have been diagnosed with..(a mild case). So if I go to Confession, then I'm afraid I'll be worried that I have to run to confession for every little thing... also I often don't feel well enough to go to Mass... Like I said, long story.
Thanks so much.. Appreciate your wise and kind replies greatly.
MR
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Annie
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Posted: Thu Jul 12th, 2007 12:19 pm |
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I'm sure he would let you read it to him, especially since you have obviously worked so hard at it. My priests would, anyway, I am sure. I think priests are nicer in the confessional these days, one nice effect of relaxations in the Church. The purpose is to clean up those sins, not to make you feel even more horrible than you do already! Last edited on Thu Jul 12th, 2007 12:20 pm by Annie
____________________
Annie
Ora et labora
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Katy
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Posted: Thu Jul 12th, 2007 06:25 pm |
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Margaret Rose wrote: Oh... another problem I have is that I tend to be scrupulous in some areas. (I hear that is a form of OCD, which I have been diagnosed with..(a mild case). So if I go to Confession, then I'm afraid I'll be worried that I have to run to confession for every little thing.
Welcome, Margaret! I have heard many people say that if scrupulosity might be a problem for you, that you should confess to the same priest every time you go to confession. Then the priest will get to know you and can let you know if you are being scrupulous.
I made my first confession after calling the priest and making an appointment. We then met in his office which was not intimidating for me.
I'm guessing that your priest would not be able to read your list, but he probably wouldn't have a problem with you referring to your list during your confession. That would prevent forgetting anything and having to come back. (My first confession was actually two parts because I remembered several things later).
-Katy
____________________
Lord, by Your cross and resurrection, You have set us free. You are the Savior of the World.
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BettyBoopToo
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Posted: Thu Jul 12th, 2007 07:43 pm |
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Margaret Rose wrote: Thank you ever so much for your very helpful replies. I was almost afraid to look at my replies, as I have had negative experiences at other "Catholic" sites.
I do already have my sins all typed out :-) Actually I did a 5th step writing (as in the 12 Steps). Will he also listen to that? Does it "count" if the priest reads everything I wrote, or do I have to say it, or could I even read it to him?
I have speech problems though (hyperventilation) and chronic fatigue for one thing.
My main issue is that I got married out of the church to a divorced man (a Christian, but not Catholic) and so have not been a practicing catholic, though I still consider myself catholic.. well, that's part of my story.
Thanks for the "How To Go To Conf." list. I will go over that, also.
Oh... another problem I have is that I tend to be scrupulous in some areas. (I hear that is a form of OCD, which I have been diagnosed with..(a mild case). So if I go to Confession, then I'm afraid I'll be worried that I have to run to confession for every little thing... also I often don't feel well enough to go to Mass... Like I said, long story.
Thanks so much.. Appreciate your wise and kind replies greatly.
MR
Margaret Rose
Just wanted to say hello again from a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Spinal Pain Sufferer, I understand the long story stuff and lucky for you the moderators or at least one of them does know about and understand people with Chronic Illness. I just thought I'd share so you could feel more comfortable about it.
I have had to make a list because of memory problems (Fibro Fog), I just right them on a small spirol notebook pad . I have to say them though. I cannot just hand them to father & have him read them. Here (below link) is a really nice credit card size examination of conscience with the ten commandments that you can down load. It also has the act of contrition on it & a short explantion of confession how to, so if you forget it, you can use your credit card. I lamenated mine and keep one in my wallet and in my rosary purses. They are very nice and I've used mine alot.
http://frpat.com/reconcard.htm
On Father Pats site, He also has some good information about reconcilliation too.
I also wanted to mention that you may want to make an appointment with the priest at your nearest parish and I would explain to him a bit about your illness and it helps for him to work with you, he can help you a great deal with dealing with chronic illness on a daily basis and give advise with your spiritual life too.
God Bless you, and Welcome to the forum
Betty
Last edited on Thu Jul 12th, 2007 07:58 pm by BettyBoopToo
____________________
Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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Margaret Rose
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Posted: Thu Jul 12th, 2007 08:58 pm |
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Betty,
That was all helpful.. thanks. I checked Fr. Pat's web site.. That is really nice, the little card.. much less overwhelming than the other lists of Exam. of conscious. I like to keep things simple.. I sure do know what you mean by fibro fog.
I have heard of people writing down sins and handing the list to the priest.. my sister did that once. But it was in a parish renewal days setting. Maybe they can do it that way when there are lots of people. Well, maybe I could try it... hand him the list. :-)
Thanks for your help. All of these replies are helping me a great deal.
Katy
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David W. Emery
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Posted: Thu Jul 12th, 2007 09:54 pm |
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Margaret Rose wrote: I have heard of people writing down sins and handing the list to the priest.. my sister did that once. But it was in a parish renewal days setting. Maybe they can do it that way when there are lots of people.
No, you have to tell him. The requirement is “auricular confession,” — spoken personally “into the ear” — not “written” or “long distance.” Otherwise the sacrament isn’t valid.
This means you also can’t receive the sacrament over the telephone or over the internet. It has to be in person.
The only exception to personal, verbal confession is for handicapped people and handicapping circumstances. For example, a deaf person can use sign language (assuming the priest also knows it); a priest may ask “yes or no” type questions of a person unable to speak (because of illness or accident), and the person may give some sign in response; a translator (who is also bound by the seal of confession) may be used if the priest does not speak the language of the penitent.
David
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CajunRick
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Posted: Fri Jul 13th, 2007 09:06 am |
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Margaret Rose wrote: I haven't been to confession for many years, and have a long, long story. I think I need to make a special appointment. Can I do this, and how do I go about it? Priests are so busy these days. Thanks.
Margaret, I competely missed the fact that you're brand new here, and I never welcomed you. I most humbly apologize.
We are truly happy to have you here with us, and thrilled that you are interested in reconciling yourself to God's Church. There is more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 who have no need of repentance, so you have created immense joy in heaven just by your interest. And we share that joy with you as well.
Welcome to the Coming Home Network, and welcome home.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Margaret Rose
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Posted: Fri Jul 13th, 2007 10:51 am |
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Thank you, Rick.
MR
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Gnyssa
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Posted: Wed Jul 18th, 2007 01:18 am |
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Dear Margaret
I imagine that every priest has heard the confession of a person who has been away for a very long time and has an unusual story. I certainly have, many times and I have only been a priest 16 months! Our job is to assist you in making the confession, not to make it difficult for you. Relax, be honest, and know that God loves you.
I sometimes tell people "worst first". That is, if there is something you feel very bad about, get that one out of the way first and off your chest, and then worry about the other stuff. Saving the "big one" for the end might only make you more nervous as you go along.
I cannot tell you the joy it brings to the heart of a priest to welcome a person back into the Fold of Christ.
peace
Fr Gnyssa
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sanberdooapologetics
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Posted: Fri Apr 4th, 2008 06:09 am |
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I waited a fe months to a year, after coming back to the RC Church, before I made my first serious confession. Oh man... poor priest. I remember I was so nervous... I had a list of 24 biggies. I noticed the shadow of the priest through the veil scratching his head... but he was excited to know why I came back to the Chruch.... and that is a topic for another day... a long day...
-Laurence
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CajunRick
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Posted: Fri Apr 4th, 2008 11:23 am |
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sanberdooapologetics wrote: he was excited to know why I came back to the Chruch.... and that is a topic for another day... a long day...
We're looking forward to reading it. Welcome to our little corner of the Internet! 
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
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sanberdooapologetics
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Posted: Fri Apr 4th, 2008 04:02 pm |
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My Bio is already published on the staff page of the Catholic Apologetics site I work for... but here it is:
Laurence was born in 1983 in the Philippines, and came to the US in 1987. He was taught the traditional Catholic faith, and practiced it for many years. However, he never really understood the reasons why Catholics did what they did. He didn’t know much about Protestantism, or what they believed. Laurence would often watch TV evangelists preach in the early 90’s but never understood what the difference was, if there was any, between their version of Christianity, and the one he was raised in.
Laurence attended Catholic schools in the Los Angeles area for a few years but spent most of his K-12 education in public schools. In the latter half of his high school years, Laurence became very good friends with some young ladies who began to challenge him on his Catholic beliefs and practices. They would ask him things like: “Why do you have statues; why do you pray to saints?; why is Mary so important?; Why do you follow the pope?; Why do you confess to men and not God?” and many more questions. Given the fact that he was no longer living with his grandparents, and now living with his parents who stopped going to church, it was only a matter of time before he lost all interest all together. From about 18 through 21, Laurence was an atheist. He would spend much of his time listening to punk rock and other forms of rock music. He would proudly advertise his anti-organized religion beliefs as he wore his shirts that endorsed a band called “Bad Religion”, whose emblem consisted of a “No-crosses” symbol, similar to the “No-smoking” signs. He even went so far as to wear such a blasphemous shirt while visiting a Bible study on campus, certainly, to get a rise out of the attendees.
In one of Laurence’s college courses, he was assigned to lead a team in debate against capital punishment. He remembers vividly, as he sat proudly in the front of the room, pulling out 5 different translations of the Bible and saying, “Which translation?”. Laurence attacked the veracity of the Bible simply because the opposing side used the Bible to justify their support of capital punishment, while not using the same Bible to dictate the consequences of other crimes. In hindsight, Laurence never stopped to think how his teammates felt in his merciless attack on the Holy Book, or even knew if he had Christians on his team. It didn’t matter, for his concluding statement was, “I think by now it's perfectly clear, the bible and any other holy book has just as much place in the legal system of the United Slates today, as the Little Engine That Could.”
This whole attitude changed when he took a course in Introductory Philosophy. He was introduced to the various proofs for the existence of God. Even if these were not necessarily from Christian sources, it made sense. How could it not make sense? After all, “The fool says in his heart ‘there is no God’” (Ps 53:1). The next logical question was, which god; and perhaps first of all, how many gods? Is God all, or is God separate from his creation? Once Laurence came to the monotheistic step, and concluded Christianity must be it, the question comes about, which of the thousands of denominations will it be? He tried coming back to the Catholic faith, even picking up the new Catechism. In the infant stages of re-discovering his Catholic roots, he came across a book called Understanding Catholicism by Rick Jones; a seemingly innocuous or harmless book. Within its 37 chapters, it completely destroyed the Catholic religious system, or so it seemed. The veracity of its claims were never verified, but was simply accepted. After a few months of being operationally a fundamentalist, of the Calvary Chapel brand, he didn’t realize what was in store for him when visiting Northern California for a wedding and presenting a challenge to his uncle who was a deacon for the Catholic Church. Laurence’s uncle simply pointed to a stack on the shelf titled “Beginning Apologetics” by Frank Chacon and Jim Burnham. It was by no means an intense theological treatment of all the objections in the Rick Jones book, but it gave just enough answers to get the ball rolling. The ball hasn’t stopped rolling since.
Laurence is now a catechist for a few of his local Catholic parishes in the San Bernardino diocese in California. He has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology, and is currently enrolled in a Master’s program in Child Development Psychology. He attends the Novus Ordo as well as the local Tridentine Mass Indult.
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