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Ruthie
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| Location: | Houston, Texas USA |
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| First Name: | Ruthie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | nominal Presbyterian, aetheist, evangelical Christian/Episcopalian, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Dec 14th, 2006 07:08 pm |
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When one goes to confession before a priest, what is one supposed to do or say? Is there a particular formula that is written down somewhere? Should one kneel or sit? Make the sign of the cross? Say something in particular? Lifelong Catholics seem to know what to do.
When I went through RCIA 17 years ago, I asked this question and I was told that the priest would direct me. Well, it was always awkward. I was always explaining that I was a convert and so I did not know what to say or do. I never was told what to say or do even those first years as a Catholic. No priest ever directed me really. Here I am, years later, a recent revert, and I still do not know how to approach Confession. (I'm not eligible to go yet, but when I am, I want to know how to do it.)
Is Confession always done face to face with the priest? I have never seen an actual confessional in any church I've been in. I would think that if Confession is done where the priest and penitent are "hidden" from each other, that the penitent should do or say something to indicate to the priest that he would like to make his confession. What should he say or do in that case?
Ruthie
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Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it. (NRSV, Luke 18:17)
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CajunRick
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Posted: Thu Dec 14th, 2006 07:32 pm |
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Ruthie wrote: When one goes to confession before a priest, what is one supposed to do or say?
When you enter the penance room (what the "confessional" is called these days), you should see a kneeler and a chair. You can kneel behind a screen for anonymity, or sit facing the priest.
Begin by making the sign of the cross while saying "Bless me, father, for I have sinned." Then tell him how long it has been since your last confession.
Confess your mortal sins, along with how many times you have committed them. In addition, you should confess venial sins that particularly bother you, or that you commit habitually. You may also ask questions to seek spiritual guidance, but remember that anything that is going to take a long time to discuss should be handled in a scheduled meeting rather than at confession.
When you're finished, say "I'm sorry for these and any other sins I may have committed." Listen carefully as the priest offers you guidance, gives you a penance, and offers absolution. You should pray an Act of Contrition, and make the sign of the cross as he absolves you "in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."
Fulfill your obligation under the penance as soon as possible. It is permitted to negotiate your penance if you feel it places an undue burden on you. For example, if your penance is to fast, that may not be possible if you have diabetes.
As a revert, I do not recommend that you go to confession in this manner the first time. Instead, I recommend scheduling an appointment for a General Confession during which you and the priest will discuss patterns of sinfulness rather than individual sins. He will be better able to ask you questions to determine what led you away, and offer guidance in a more comfortable atmosphere (usually his office). When you are finished, he will offer sacramental absolution.
Here is a simple recap of the procedure for confession that you can print and bring with you.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Ruthie
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| First Name: | Ruthie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | nominal Presbyterian, aetheist, evangelical Christian/Episcopalian, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Dec 14th, 2006 08:05 pm |
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Rick,
Thank you so much. This is very helpful. I am always amazed at the wonderful things you do on this forum, how attentive you are, and for always taking the trouble to provide answers. Thanks again.
Ruthie
____________________
Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it. (NRSV, Luke 18:17)
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mrsbmoo
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Posted: Fri Dec 15th, 2006 05:56 pm |
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| I am very intimidated by the procedural aspect of confession. Last night I went to a penance service and that was so much easier. Instead of having to remember what to say when, I was able to just walk up a priest's corner. (There was a very funny moment when the announcer said , "and in this corner, Fr Gallgher and in that corner Fr, Rush, etc...sounded like a boxing match) He asked me what I was sorry for. That was a question i could answer! I answered, then he assigned my penance and gave me absolution, no room for mistakes. It was so much more comfortable than going into a room and signal lights going on and trying to remember what to say. My daughters are even considering going back to confession if they could go to that sort of service. They had found it nerve wracking the first time too.
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Becky
Wife of Michael(called Moo) and stay at home mom to 5 daughters between 7 months and 16
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CajunRick
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Posted: Fri Dec 15th, 2006 06:02 pm |
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mrsbmoo wrote: I am very intimidated by the procedural aspect of confession.
The procedure is a suggestion, not a requirement. Just walk in and say, "Father, I'm not familiar with this yet, can you help me?" He'll guide you through.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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yelladaisybug
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Posted: Sun Feb 18th, 2007 09:03 pm |
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I've just now been reading the Q/A's about penance services, and wanted to jump in to ask another. This Lenten season will be my first time participating in a penance service (having only come into the Church recently, and at that time having gone face-to-face in the confessional booth). Truly, even after reading the posts here, I'm not clear on exactly what I am to do. If only there were a script or something! Obviously there wouldn't be for my personal portion of confession.....but if there is no "format" to follow, what do I do.....just find one of the presiding priests & blab out my sins? Humble thanks for any direction on this!
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CajunRick
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Posted: Sun Feb 18th, 2007 09:45 pm |
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yelladaisybug wrote: I've just now been reading the Q/A's about penance services, and wanted to jump in to ask another. This Lenten season will be my first time participating in a penance service (having only come into the Church recently, and at that time having gone face-to-face in the confessional booth). Truly, even after reading the posts here, I'm not clear on exactly what I am to do. If only there were a script or something! Obviously there wouldn't be for my personal portion of confession.....but if there is no "format" to follow, what do I do.....just find one of the presiding priests & blab out my sins? Humble thanks for any direction on this!
At a penance service, those parts that are common to all are done together. For example, there will probably be an entrance hymn, scripture readings, a homily, a communal examination of conscience, Act of Contrition, etc. Then everyone has the opportunity to confess sacramentally.
When it's your turn, you should tell the priest those things that are unique to you, such as how long it has been since your last confession, and then confess your sins and say you're sorry. He will offer guidance and give absolution. He may assign a penance, or a penance may be done communally after everyone has the opportunity to confess. Communal absolution is not permitted except in cases of extreme emergency. If communal absolution is given, tell your bishop. This is a very serious abuse.
Normally, there is a script/program that tells you exactly what to do.
You'll find a good Examination of Conscience at Catholic Culture (free registration required).
The procedure for private confession is available at Catholic.org.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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yelladaisybug
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Posted: Mon Feb 19th, 2007 11:29 am |
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| This is exactly the information I wanted. Thanks so much.
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Gnyssa
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Posted: Fri Mar 2nd, 2007 08:43 pm |
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I wanted to add to all of the good replies above, that it is always possible just to tell the priest, "I have forgotten the formula" or "I have not done this for a long time" or "this is my first time" and let him walk you through it step by step. It is more important to go to confession than to worry about getting every one of the traditional prayers put to memory before taking that big step.
Gnyssa
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yelladaisybug
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Posted: Sun Mar 4th, 2007 12:38 am |
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I am really glad you people have taken the time to help me out, regarding the how-to's of a penance service. The time is getting closer, and I just want to go about it the right way. It is so new to me I don't want to blunder through.
Again, thank you!
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smh
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 03:19 pm |
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I am a "cradle Catholic". Baptized Catholic, had first Communion, and Confirmation, and went to Catholic School for 12 years. I have been a Pentecostal for 27 years, but I am within a few heartbeats of returning to the Catholic church.
I am intimidated about calling a rectory (and which one?) and "making an appointment" for a general confession. I am less intimidated about the confessional as I remember it, but I'm sure when I start out with "bless me, father, for I have sinned... it's been at least 27 years since my last confession..." the poor priest is going to have a heart attack. But I want so much to be able to receive the Eucharist... I don't want to do a lot of foot dragging.
So, the question is... what should I do?
Suggestions?
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Sue
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japhy
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 03:31 pm |
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smh wrote: I am intimidated about calling a rectory (and which one?) and "making an appointment" for a general confession. I am less intimidated about the confessional as I remember it, but I'm sure when I start out with "bless me, father, for I have sinned... it's been at least 27 years since my last confession..." the poor priest is going to have a heart attack. But I want so much to be able to receive the Eucharist... I don't want to do a lot of foot dragging.
I would first suggest you find a parish that you think you would be attending on a regular basis, and go there and pray for guidance, comfort, and strength. Attend Eucharistic Adoration, perhaps.
Then, after Mass, go and talk to the priest. Tell him about your situation and that you'd like to receive the sacrament of reconciliation. He might offer it right there on the spot, or tell you when the scheduled times are.
He will not have a heart attack. People have gone longer than 27 years without confessing their sins. And priests hear a lot of things, so don't expect you'll surprise him. Remember that the sacrament of reconciliation, like the Eucharist, is about being present at Calvary during the most amazing and ultimate sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Talk about being "washed in the blood" -- when you receive absolution for your sins from God through the ministry designed for that very purpose, you are being washed clean by the redemptive blood of Jesus at the foot of the cross. There will be a tremendous weight lifted off your shoulders, for Jesus's yoke is easy, and his burden light... it is sin that is heavy.
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[Mary said,] "Do whatever he tells you." - John 2:5
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smh
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 04:41 pm |
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japhy wrote: I would first suggest you find a parish that you think you would be attending on a regular basis, and go there and pray for guidance, comfort, and strength. Attend Eucharistic Adoration, perhaps.
Then, after Mass, go and talk to the priest. ...
...Remember that the sacrament of reconciliation, like the Eucharist, is about being present at Calvary during the most amazing and ultimate sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Talk about being "washed in the blood" -- when you receive absolution for your sins from God through the ministry designed for that very purpose, you are being washed clean by the redemptive blood of Jesus at the foot of the cross. There will be a tremendous weight lifted off your shoulders, for Jesus's yoke is easy, and his burden light... it is sin that is heavy.
What parish IS the question..... I have (very) few practicing Catholic friends to ask.
The burden being lifted....That's one thing I remember about my years as a Catholic, that confession was sometimes hard (I played the organ at my parish church, all the priests knew me, so it was hard to start... "bless me father..." and the priest say, "hi, Sue, how's it going?"....  so much for "blessed anonimity"....) but it did feel great to walk out after with the weight of the world gone....
____________________
Sue
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CajunRick
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 04:56 pm |
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smh wrote: I am a "cradle Catholic". Baptized Catholic, had first Communion, and Confirmation, and went to Catholic School for 12 years. I have been a Pentecostal for 27 years, but I am within a few heartbeats of returning to the Catholic church.
I am intimidated about calling a rectory (and which one?) and "making an appointment" for a general confession. I am less intimidated about the confessional as I remember it, but I'm sure when I start out with "bless me, father, for I have sinned... it's been at least 27 years since my last confession..." the poor priest is going to have a heart attack. But I want so much to be able to receive the Eucharist... I don't want to do a lot of foot dragging.
So, the question is... what should I do?
Suggestions?
First of all, welcome to the Coming Home Network, and welcome back to the Catholic faith. Heaven is rejoicing over your impending return!
I hesitate to recommend that you just "show up" for confession. Since you feel intimidated in calling a rectory for an appointment, I would recommend that you attend mass and after mass is over, ask the priest if he can hear your confession. Then stay for the next mass and receive the Eucharist.
Scheduled confession time on any given weekend is usually rather brief, especially if it is right before a scheduled mass, and others may be waiting for absolution as well. Your confession is likely to be rather lengthy, and may delay the beginning of mass. Others might well be prevented from receiving the sacrament by the shortage of time. This will call more attention to you, and may cause others to leave the chuch in a state of sin rather than a state of grace.
By confessing at a time other than a scheduled time, you allow yourself more time to experience the forgiving grace of God, and yet you won't interfere with others. An appointment for a general confession is one way to do it, but if you really prefer not to do that, I would recommend confessing at a non-scheduled time. Another way is to ring the doorbell at the parish office and ask if there is a priest available who can hear your confession.
Your best bet would be to visit a large parish with several priests, possibly a cathedral parish, as they are more likely to have a priest available at any given time. Or you could visit a retreat center or similar facility that offers a daily, public mass, or a monastery if one is available in your area.
And if none of these ideas work for you, then just show up and begin as you said. The rest of the church will wait. There is more joy in heaven over a sinner who repents than over 99 who have no need of repentence. The most important thing is that you receive absolution as soon as possible.
Once again, welcome home. We are happy to have you here with us on the forum, and hope you'll share your faith story with us when you're ready.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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smh
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Posted: Sat May 12th, 2007 02:59 pm |
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cajunrick wrote:
I hesitate to recommend that you just "show up" for confession. Since you feel intimidated in calling a rectory for an appointment, I would recommend that you attend mass and after mass is over, ask the priest if he can hear your confession. Then stay for the next mass and receive the Eucharist.
Scheduled confession time on any given weekend is usually rather brief, especially if it is right before a scheduled mass, and others may be waiting for absolution as well. Your confession is likely to be rather lengthy, and may delay the beginning of mass. Others might well be prevented from receiving the sacrament by the shortage of time. This will call more attention to you, and may cause others to leave the chuch in a state of sin rather than a state of grace.
When I got up this morning (Saturday), I decided today was the day. I actually had decided on today sometime last week... but something came up and my presence was going to be required elsewhere this afternoon around the time of confessions and Saturday vigil masses. Miraculously that engagement was postponed, and so, I took your advice. I plucked up my courage and called a rectory and scheduled my confession a half hour before the normally scheduled time. (The priest actually said something like "well, why don't you just come at the normal time?" I said I'd been in touch with the Coming Home network and that it was recommended to me to schedule a time so I wouldn't be hold up anyone else that was there.....)
So, let me say that I am very excited. It's been a long long long time. I am anxious to attend Mass as a Catholic in a state of grace and to receive Jesus in the Eucharist...
Thanks for the advice and the prayers.....
Sue
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Sue
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CajunRick
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Posted: Sat May 12th, 2007 03:09 pm |
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smh wrote: So, let me say that I am very excited. It's been a long long long time. I am anxious to attend Mass as a Catholic in a state of grace and to receive Jesus in the Eucharist...
Our prayers will be with you, and we're looking forward to your "report"!
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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smh
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Posted: Sat May 12th, 2007 06:44 pm |
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cajunrick wrote: Our prayers will be with you, and we're looking forward to your "report"!
Thank you for your prayers.
The priest was VERY gracious.... understand... it's been at LEAST 27 years, maybe as much as 36 or 37 since I've been to confession. This "face to face" business was HARD... I remember the little dark place with a kneeler, and the light went on when you knelt down and there were at LEAST four priests sitting in the confessionals on an given Saturday afternoon... to shake hands with the priest and sit down in a bright little room face to face... well.... it was "different"... but I'd talked to God about this moment so long that everything I wanted to say just poured out in no time.... the priest was MORE than gracious and spoke to me a LOT about the LOVE of God (oh, something that I have NOT heard a whole lot in the Church of God I've been attending, and where I am still the sole musician.....all we have heard there lately is that we are sinners and not "worthy" of receiving communion, which isn't even a sacrament in Protestant churches as a whole, and surely NOT in that denomination...what I think when I hear that is "let a man examine himself..." but, no matter.... I'm HOME....)
His penance was a hard one though, and, to use protestant terms, it was to "plug in" and get involved. Okay, I'll need God to help me with that one, because, frankly, I haven't decided on a parish....and being the sole piano player at the afore mentioned Church of God, I'm going to have quite "the time" getting free of that. There are several Catholic churches in very close geographical proximity... and really, I have about ONE Catholic friend, who might think that I am "doing this for him...." which is NOT the case.....so, choosing a parish will be a bit difficult....if one of them needs a musician... well, that would be me.... 
I didn't really need the extra half hour that I was given prior to the regular confession times. The priest was about my age, and we actually had a very nice conversation about growing up Catholic, and going to Catholic school in the area and a few of the Sisters of Holy Cross that taught at our schools (that are still living.... and even teaching at this particular parish's school!)
I came back for 4 o'clock (French language... my heritage...) mass and for the first time in many years received the Eucharist.... I am thrilled beyond words.... and I thank you, any one who's reading this for reading it and rejoicing with me about it.... I have literally NO ONE nearby that I can share this with, who will rejoice with me about this return to Truth and to Mother Church.....
Anyone who is "dragging their feet" as I have been doing.... STOP IT... it was WAY easier than I could EVER have imagined... and the Blessing.... too much to try to explain away...... don't wait any more.... just do it......
Sue
____________________
Sue
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CajunRick
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Posted: Sat May 12th, 2007 10:25 pm |
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smh wrote: This "face to face" business was HARD...
Actually, you are still supposed to have the option to confess kneeling, with a screen separating you from the priest. A well designed penance room (what they're called these days) will give you the option to do either.
but I'd talked to God about this moment so long that everything I wanted to say just poured out in no time....
Obviously it didn't hold you back!
His penance was a hard one though, and, to use protestant terms, it was to "plug in" and get involved.
Remember that your forgiveness is not contingent on your penance; you are already forgiven. However, failure to fulfill your penance is a sin. God requires an effort, so do your best to fulfill the terms of the penance as you understand it. There's no real time limit, but if ever you feel that you have not met the terms of the penance, you will need to discuss that with a priest as well. I'm sure you'll do fine.
choosing a parish will be a bit difficult....if one of them needs a musician... well, that would be me....
I have yet to find a Catholic parish that couldn't use a musician!
I didn't really need the extra half hour that I was given prior to the regular confession times. The priest was about my age, and we actually had a very nice conversation about growing up Catholic, and going to Catholic school in the area and a few of the Sisters of Holy Cross that taught at our schools (that are still living.... and even teaching at this particular parish's school!)
So you did need it, to get to know the priest and share some experiences with him. That's a good thing.
I came back for 4 o'clock (French language... my heritage...)
So where do you live? There aren't many places in the US where the French language is still spoken and used at mass, and I happen to live in one of them.
mass and for the first time in many years received the Eucharist.... I am thrilled beyond words.... and I thank you, any one who's reading this for reading it and rejoicing with me about it.... I have literally NO ONE nearby that I can share this with, who will rejoice with me about this return to Truth and to Mother Church.....
You don't need anyone, because everyone in heaven is rejoicing over a sinner who has repented! Wait till they find out you play the piano, you'll have lots of friends!
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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smh
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Posted: Sat May 12th, 2007 11:14 pm |
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I live in Southern New Hampshire, which was a large French-Canadian area when I was growing up, but has lately become more of the typical American melting pot of various groups. The church I went to today has a Portuguese Mass on Sunday evenings. Another nearby Parish has two Vietnamese Masses. The priest told me today that the French mass was almost finished, and had only this week and next week left.
Sue
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Sue
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CajunRick
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Posted: Sat May 12th, 2007 11:22 pm |
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smh wrote: I live in Southern New Hampshire, which was a large French-Canadian area when I was growing up, but has lately become more of the typical American melting pot of various groups. The church I went to today has a Portuguese Mass on Sunday evenings. Another nearby Parish has two Vietnamese Masses. The priest told me today that the French mass was almost finished, and had only this week and next week left.
Ok, you live in the "other" French-Acadian area. When the Acadians were thrown out of Canada, many refused to settle in "the colonies" and swear allegiance to the English king, so they kept going until they reached Louisiana. In New England they were mostly allowed to practice their Catholic faith, so those who were willing to swear allegiance to King George settled there, while those who wanted to remain loyal to France came to Louisiana.
It also means you could be my cousin! I've found several distant cousins around New England.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
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yelladaisybug
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| First Name: | Leslie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Originally Baptist; Bible-college educated; came into Church last Easter |
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Posted: Sun May 13th, 2007 01:19 am |
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Sue---
Regarding the fact that you are a musician, Rick is SO on target. When I came into the Church a year ago & subsequently joined the choir, they did everything but fall down & worship at my feet....and all I said was that I could read music. Boy, are they going to love you!
yelladaisybug
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 4981 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Sun May 13th, 2007 01:36 am |
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yelladaisybug wrote: Regarding the fact that you are a musician, Rick is SO on target. When I came into the Church a year ago & subsequently joined the choir, they did everything but fall down & worship at my feet....and all I said was that I could read music. Boy, are they going to love you!
Having been at various times in my parish the music director, choir director, cantor, organist, guitarist, and youth choir director, I assure you I absolutely know what I'm talking about.
In fact, if either of you would like to move to Louisiana....
I even know a parish in the Atlanta area interested in a music director/liturgy coordinator!
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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smh
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| Joined: | Sun May 6th, 2007 |
| Location: | Merrimack, New Hampshire USA |
| Posts: | 27 |
| First Name: | Sue | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, United Pentecostal, Independent, Church of God, Catholic (again) |
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Posted: Tue May 15th, 2007 03:11 pm |
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cajunrick wrote: Having been at various times in my parish the music director, choir director, cantor, organist, guitarist, and youth choir director, I assure you I absolutely know what I'm talking about.
In fact, if either of you would like to move to Louisiana....
I even know a parish in the Atlanta area interested in a music director/liturgy coordina | | |
