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Christine Ann
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | An Hours' Drive From Cincinnati, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 113 |
| First Name: | Christine Ann | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | former Lutheran, Baptist, now Catholic. |
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Posted: Wed Sep 12th, 2007 10:36 pm |
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....I'm hoping there are some on the forum who have gone through this process or perhaps are in the same position that I am: waiting.
It took me several painful months to answer the questions given to me by the tribunal, but three months ago I submitted them to the Tribunal for their consideration. My husband is having to do this as well and was willing despite the fact that he's "not interested" in becoming Catholic. So it has been painstaking thus far. I know that our former spouses and the witnesses we named have received their questions from the Tribunal rather promptly, two months ago. We've each heard from one of our witnesses that they have their questions, so I'm assuming everyone has received them.
I spoke with my former husband at length about my reasons for wanting the annullment and he was very cooperative. But I've not heard from him since he's received the questions. Is it proper for me to call him to ask where he is with it? or am I not to contact him? His silence is worrisome to me. I'm feeling unsure about his responding.
We don't expect my husband's former wife to cooperate with a response as there is hostility on her part. We only know of one witness each who are now answering their questions. What happens if our former spouses do not respond? Will the Tribunal go forward with its decision without them? Can they make a decision from our statements and those of our witnesses?
Am I permitted to contact the Tribunal personally to ask what, if anything, has been received? Should I then be contacting those who have not responded? How long will the Tribunal wait for responses?
It is obvious I'm allowing this situation to cause me anxiety....and what is needed is patience, I know. I've only talked with one person who has been through this and it took her two years. My Pastor feels we have legitimate grounds for annullment, so when the Tribunal contacted the others, I thought perhaps this might not be so lengthy a process for us.
I so long for the Church to accept me so I'm able to receive the Eucharist and I'm deeply troubled at not being in a state of grace. What should I do, or should I just let it rest at this time?
Thank you sincerely for any responses.
Christine Ann
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Ali
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 6th, 2007 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 622 |
| First Name: | Ali | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | JW, finally fully Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Sep 13th, 2007 09:48 am |
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I'll share with you my dh's experience (and mine by default) . . . .
Our pastor/priest (there is only one for our parish and a neighboring parish) is on the tribunal. So he new which t's to cross, and i's to dot. Dh and I met with him twice at the beginning for about 2 hours each time beginning in Feb-06. The first time to discuss the annulment. He sent us home with all the paperwork, then in the next two weeks we got it all ready. We met with Father again, and he typed up his part of the paperwork and got it all ready to hand deliver for us. Father would have to excuse himself from the tribunal for this case, of course.
Mar-10, 2006 - we received the letter saying the Tribunal Office recieved the paperwork. This letter also informed us they would be sending out questionaires to the witnesses dh listed, as well as to his ex-wife.
Mar-16, 2006 - received a "first instance" affirmative. Woohoo, looking good! We're thinking they only just got it and already we see and affirmative. LOL
At this time, the letter informed dh he could review the sentence and challenge if he wished to.
Apr-12, 2006 - Received a formal petition for dh to sign, also he was notified who his Advovate/Procurator. She is the contact person for us if we have questions or need to check on the status of it. Once they received his signature, the letter stated, that was when the questionaires would be sent out.
Jul-10, 2006 - Letter received stating what the grounds the annulment would be arugued on. Dh or his ex had 10 days to disagree with the grounds.
Jul-21, 2006 - Notified that all necessary material was recieved and the case was ready to move onto the next phase. If anyone felt that there was any additional information that should be considered IRT the case, it needed to be received by the tribunal by 8/4. If one of the respondents wanted to review the material, they could view it until 7/27.
Then nothing. We didn't hear a word. Finally dh had me call the advocate and check on it. I found out it went to a different diocese for final approval on April 12, 2007. (We are in the Youngstown Ohio diocese, all affirmative cases are sent to the Columbus diocese for final approval.)
Through out all of this we didn't hear from his ex regarding the annulment. I speak to her on occasion anyway about my stepson, but it is very rare that her and dh have a conversation. But we never spoke about the annulment. As long as everyone sent in their questionaires, she really could not stop the declaration of nullity from being issued.
Finally in August I called the advocate again, and she suggested I call Columbus. {sigh} Ok. I was told it should be done within about two weeks. The lady I spoke to explained to me the steps that needed to be done, and where the case was in that process. Dh was on pins and needles at this time. He was anxiously waiting. Ok, I was anxious too 
Nothing, nothing, nothing. *I* received something from the doicese, and dh was all excited about the envelope. LOL He was a bit disappointed when he opened it and saw it was CCD related materials. Poor guy, what a cruel joke.
I called again, and was informed one of the priests who needed to sign off on it had been in and out of the hospital with surguries and had been sick. Pray, pray, pray.
Sep-11, 2007 - Called Columbus again. Was informed that everything had been done and it was APPROVED. They were faxing it to Youngstown later that day, and then Youngstown will contact us by letter regarding the final declaration of nullity.
Sooooo, about 19 months later, it is almost done. We haven't received the final declaration from Youngstown yet. I'm sure it'll be here by the beginning of next week. If not, I'll be calling agin. LOL
That's been our experience. I don't know how it relates to other diocese or cases. I'm sure all are a bit different and may move at different paces. Also, there seemed to be a backlog from our diocese, and well as Columbus'. So it's not that it wasn't done, or couldn't have been done sooner, it's just that they had so many to process 
I wish you peace during your wait. I was counting on it taking two years. Anything shorter is a blessing  But it was still difficult to wait. I'm waiting like you. But I'm confident that God knows my heart, no matter what the status of our marriage or entry into the Church is.
Ali
Last edited on Thu Sep 13th, 2007 10:00 am by Ali
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Christine Ann
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | An Hours' Drive From Cincinnati, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 113 |
| First Name: | Christine Ann | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | former Lutheran, Baptist, now Catholic. |
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Posted: Thu Sep 13th, 2007 10:58 pm |
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Dear Ali,
Thanks for responding. It's good to know someone else has been through this. It seems that I'm being much too impatient given your description and how long it's taken you. We have not received a letter confirming ours was received, however as I stated in my post, we know two of our witnesses have received their questionaires for certain. So maybe the letter went to our advocate/procurator and he just failed to notify us. We are in the Cincinnati diocese. Our Parish is small and our priest handles two parishes. He is our advocate/procurator. So it looks like it would be best to contact him.
It doesn't seem that you talked with your husband's ex wife or his witnesses, so it may not be appropriate for us to call ours. I guess I'll just wait and contact Father to see what he knows. Apparently the diocese communicates through him (I'm guessing). We just haven't been given much advice about how things are to proceed.
I'll continue to pray about it and be assured that God knows our hearts and what is best for us. I hope I don't have to make as many contacts as you did! Congratulations on your Declaration of Nullity being granted and thanks for sharing your story.
God's blessings to you and your husband,
Christine Ann
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 4981 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Fri Sep 14th, 2007 12:34 am |
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Christine Ann wrote: We have not received a letter confirming ours was received
Each diocese sets its own procedures, so your diocese may not send out letters. The fact that your witnesses received questionnaires demonstrates that everything was received in the proper order, and that nothing critical is missing. There is no requirement that you be contacted until either further input from you is needed or a decision is reached. Depending on the evidence you presented, the speed in which your witnesses respond, your advocate's availabililty, and the backlog of the tribunal in your diocese and at the provincial tribunal, it can take anywhere from 12 months to five years. Two to three years seems to be the average. Fortunately things tend to go a little quicker in my diocese, where the average is 12-18 months. But even so, I have known cases to take three years.
So be patient and pray, using this time to draw closer to God and to each other. And remember that the result will not be a "win" or a "loss" but a recognition of the sacramental status of the marriage. The answer will come sooner or later.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Christine Ann
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | An Hours' Drive From Cincinnati, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 113 |
| First Name: | Christine Ann | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | former Lutheran, Baptist, now Catholic. |
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Posted: Fri Sep 14th, 2007 09:09 pm |
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Thanks, Rick, for the information. I was actually hoping there wouldn't be a lot of back and forth communication...it would be stressful for me. So knowing that it's not unusual to not hear from them, consoles me. I'm glad to know too what the time factor could be...so I don't have to worry if I don't hear from them soon.
Your advise is well taken, that we pray and be patient. This is so important to us...it will take God's grace for us to be patient. We were married by a County Judge and I've never felt comfortable with that. It was legal, but defineatly not sacramental. I'll be so glad when this is resolved.
Christine Ann
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Christine Ann
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | An Hours' Drive From Cincinnati, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 113 |
| First Name: | Christine Ann | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | former Lutheran, Baptist, now Catholic. |
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Posted: Wed Dec 19th, 2007 06:16 pm |
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Dear friends,
Just a note to say that my Declaration of Nullity has been approved in the Cincinnati Diocese and is on its way for confirmation to Washington DC for confirmation. It wasn't such a long wait after all. Praise God for answered prayer! Now I await on a decision concerning my husband's Declaration....there is still hope I'll be able to join in the Eucharist by Easter. Thanks to all who offered their prayers concerning this.
Christine Ann
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1212 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Dec 19th, 2007 10:12 pm |
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Christine Ann, it is sounding good for you! I'm sure you have read the thread of Ali's good news and recent confirmation and "marriage." I am hoping for a good and quick outcome for you.
This is a common issue discussed on the forum. It appears to me that the church is doing the best it can trying to make sure everything it does is correct, because no matter how long it takes (and we are pretty impatient in this day and age!) it's not worth doing if they get it wrong. It's not the church's fault that our society jumps in and out of relationships and expects the politically correct world to accomodate whatever we want! We are not used to being told, well you'll have to do this and wait for that.
The hard part is, as you say, waiting to join a church you love and participate fully in it. Waiting to receive the Holy Eucharist is one of the hardest things I've had to do. I pray your situation will be resolved soon, and you will know the joy of receiving the sacraments.  God bless!
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