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brian
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Chicago South Burbs, Illinois USA |
| Posts: | 720 |
| First Name: | brian | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | methodist, evangelical, anglican, catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jan 9th, 2008 03:57 pm |
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| If one were invited to a wedding for two people who were born Catholic but getting married outside the church, is it ok to attend and participate in support of them? In some cases I would think not (like had they been practicing Catholics in their adult life and recently but were just deciding not to be married in the church), but in the case I am thinking of, these people have not considered themselves to actually be Catholic and have neither has practiced the Catholic faith for a long time, probaly not at all in their adulthood, and maybe not even throughout teenage years. I knew them through another church, so as their friend I really want to go and be happy for them and have a good time becasue I do not see them as rebeling against the church because they really would not consider themselves to be subject to it in any way. It seems not very different than going to any wedding of protestants. They also want me to plat some music for them. Is it othe right thing for me to go and be supportive?
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mrsbmoo
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 267 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | former Methodist. RCA, Presbyterian, Holiness, Wesleyan... Catholic as of June ... |
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Posted: Wed Jan 9th, 2008 04:49 pm |
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| I would say go and enjoy. It sounds like they don't consider themselves Catholic, more that they just happen to have been born into a Catholic family but never practiced it when it became their choice.
____________________
Becky
Wife of Michael(called Moo) and stay at home mom to 5 daughters between 7 months and 16
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DrDave
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | Mildura, Australia |
| Posts: | 211 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Cradle - Lapsed - Renewed Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jan 9th, 2008 07:51 pm |
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The big problem with attending non-Catholic weddings of baptised Cathoics is the message it sends about us, and more importantly about the Catholic Church. In a word scandal.
The logic goes a little like this. 1.Jesus gave the authority to bind and loose to the Church via Peter and the twelve. 2 The Church has used this authority to bind certain requirements on Catholics regarding marriage. 3 Catholics who defy these requirements are, in effect defying God. 4 Other Catholics who attend a wedding where such defiance is taking place in order to "show support", APPEAR to be showing support for the act of defying God. - This is not a good thing.
I heard on an episode of Catholic Answers "ask a canon lawyer" some time Nov/Dec last year, a similar question, and he (the canon lawyer) said that their was no problem with such attendance if the former Catholics had formally repudiated their membership of the Catholic Church in writing to their Bishop.
This situation you raise however, has the APPEARANCE of being separated from the Church, while not being formally separated from the Church.
I would be tempted, in a similar situation to use it as an opportunity for evangelisation, explaining my predicament to the couple in simple terms as above and simply state, "I know it was not your intention to create this dilemma for me, but would you want me to CHOOSE to APPEAR to be supporting the open defiance of Gods will?"
What is unclear to me is whether I would want to "advise" them to seek formal separation from the Church simply so that I could participate in their wedding. I think this would depend on the individuals involved.
Regards Doc
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David W. Emery
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Brownsville, Texas USA |
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| First Name: | David | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Jan 10th, 2008 01:20 am |
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Brian, this situation appears to fall into the category of “difficult cases.” The couple have apparently never practiced the Catholic faith; they were merely baptized as infants, without their positive participation. It is not even known from your account if they were ever catechized or attended Mass regularly. They certainly do not fit the definition of “heretics,” which is what the moral injunction about not attending an illicit wedding is about. Quite likely, for purposes of determining whether you could morally attend the wedding, you could treat them as simple non-Catholics. And if they have found faith in Christ in a non-Catholic community, then I believe I would support them fully as friends who are trying to do what God requires, as he gives them light.
David
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CajunRick
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 4981 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Thu Jan 10th, 2008 02:05 am |
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For what it's worth, Brian, I agree with David.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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brian
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Chicago South Burbs, Illinois USA |
| Posts: | 720 |
| First Name: | brian | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | methodist, evangelical, anglican, catholic |
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Posted: Thu Jan 10th, 2008 06:37 pm |
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Well since the details seem to make a difference regarding scandal, I will see if I can be more clear about what I know of thee friends. I know the woman better. She attended evangelical church with me when I was there a few years ago. I never knew she had been Catohlic till I converted and she mentioned she had ben raised Catholic or was Catholic or something. She told me to talk to her boyfriend because he was not sure where he wanted to go to church. She had been at at least one other protestant church before going to mine. So I have no idea the least time she practiced the Catholic faith, I am guessing between 9 and 15, but could be wrong.
The man, did not really take to the church as much that I met her at. He visited once or twice but never came regularly. He was more ambiguous about his faith (though still believed in God and probably Jesus), but still was and probably is searching to some degree. He still had some interest in possibly being Catholic and may have even mentioned he considered getting married in the Catholic Chuch the one time I had to talk to him about why I converted. Seemed that it was a good conversation, but he did not appear to be on the verge of retuning to the church anytime soon, but was just thinking through things and interested in why I joined. I have no idea when the last time he was practicing his faith was, but probably sometime in high school he may have stopped. This is about 10 years later.
I do wonder if you better evangelize by standing strong and sending a message of how important you think obedience to the church is, yet, I think that this sent at the wrong time would more likely alienate than help be a good witness. I think they would think it pretty snobby of me. Plus, since netiher of them has been wanting to be obedient to church teaching for many years, I guess I find it weird that I would not support them when they are not really disobeying anything they believe to be truth.
Maybe if I have them pay me (they offered for music) a little money, I can just say, I am going on business, and have a good time and whatnot, and just be nice to them and happy for them as much as I can.
Brian
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David W. Emery
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Brownsville, Texas USA |
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| First Name: | David | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic |
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Posted: Fri Jan 11th, 2008 01:36 am |
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brian wrote:I do wonder if you better evangelize by standing strong and sending a message of how important you think obedience to the church is, yet, I think that this sent at the wrong time would more likely alienate than help be a good witness. I think they would think it pretty snobby of me. Plus, since neither of them has been wanting to be obedient to church teaching for many years, I guess I find it weird that I would not support them when they are not really disobeying anything they believe to be truth.
This is what we were saying, Brian. It’s not going to make any moral difference to refuse to attend because that’s not where the problem is.
Maybe if I have them pay me (they offered for music) a little money, I can just say, I am going on business, and have a good time and whatnot, and just be nice to them and happy for them as much as I can.
Sure, why not? Sounds like a good way to do the good you want to do.
David
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