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deborah
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| Joined: | Fri Aug 31st, 2007 |
| Location: | Washington USA |
| Posts: | 6 |
| First Name: | Deborah | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | RCIA |
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Posted: Tue Jan 15th, 2008 04:20 am |
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My husband and I are currently in RCIA and are in the process of getting our previous marriages annulled. We have also been watching the Fr. John Corapi video series on The Catechism of the Catholic Church and were shocked to discover that we have been commiting adultery. We both have freely chosen to live as brother and sister until our annulments are validated no matter how long it takes.
First question: is it possible for us to enter the Catholic church now because we are committed to abstaining from marital relations for as long as it takes to get an annulment?
The second issue is that although we both received recognized baptisms (Lutheran and Presbyterian) as children, we were married in a non-christian church, a yoga-indian-sorta-christian fusion type of thing. Deacon told me that our current marriage may also not be recognized and that we may need a convalidation.
Second question: is that true? Do we have to re-do what we consider to be a faithful and true commitment to each other?
Deborah
Last edited on Tue Jan 15th, 2008 04:22 am by deborah
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 4981 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Tue Jan 15th, 2008 04:33 am |
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Two tough questions.
Yes, it is possible you can be admitted to the Church while living as brother and sister. However, there are many other factors to be considered such as your place in the community, the possibility of causing scandal, etc., so you really need to talk to a priest or deacon to see if this is acceptable in your case.
As to the situation with your marriage, you will require a convalidation in any case. Your previous marriages serve as impediments to a valid sacramental marriage, so once they have been declared null, you will need to repeat your vows before a priest. The issue is not that you were not married in a Christian ceremony, but that you were already married and so not free to marry again.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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deborah
Member
| Joined: | Fri Aug 31st, 2007 |
| Location: | Washington USA |
| Posts: | 6 |
| First Name: | Deborah | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | RCIA |
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Posted: Tue Jan 15th, 2008 04:39 am |
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CajunRick, thanks for your answer. Regarding any possible scandal, I would just say that I am 52 yo and my husband is 62. Our marriage is founded on so much more than our marital relations, that's why I thought of asking about this.
Deborah
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brian
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Chicago South Burbs, Illinois USA |
| Posts: | 720 |
| First Name: | brian | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | methodist, evangelical, anglican, catholic |
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Posted: Tue Jan 15th, 2008 08:45 am |
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| I a mcurious if when convalidation happens, is that to say that the marriage is in effect just starting, or is it to simply make sure that the proper sacrmanetal steps have happened to affirm that a marriage is truly there since a previous marriage had been anilled. But if the marriages are anulled, won't that mean that they truly had been free to marry since we would now know that the earlier ones were invalid, therfore, the new marriage was actual. I guess what I am wondering is if after convalidated, would they be considered married for one day, or for the x amount of years since their original wedding date? Is the convalidation more so that the church can openly celebrate it and make sure that it has been blessed and acknowledged by the church, or is it to actually ensure that a marriage exists, or both?
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 4981 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Tue Jan 15th, 2008 11:45 am |
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The Church cannot presume what may have happened prior to its own action.
The marriage is considered valid from the moment of convalidation.
Here's an analogy. Suppose a person meets someone in a bar in Las Vegas, gets drunk and gets married (legally). When they wake up in the morning, they have experienced a blackout and don't remember the wedding. They go one with their lives, get married and raise children (separately) in their home states, and lead exemplary lives. Twenty five years later they discover the marriage certificates and realize their first impulsive marriage was never annulled, and they were never divorced. Their first marriage is still valid.
What is the situation for the second marriage? It is not valid. It cannot be made valid because they were not free to marry. They can get married again, but it does not validate the original second marriage; it creates a new one. When they pronounce their vows, they are not celebrating their 25th anniversary but their wedding night. Even though they thought they were legally married for 25 years, they weren't. It doesn't mean what they did before was wrong. It means there was an inherent error that invalidated the first marriage.
Well, that's what the Church sees, and what God sees. The first marriages still exist (sacramentally, if not legally), so from a sacramental standpoint, the second marriage never validly took place. When the first marriages are declared null, you will both be free to be married validly for the first time.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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