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JillD
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 600 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
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Posted: Mon Nov 27th, 2006 10:56 am |
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| I am converting, but my husband is not. Does our marriage need to be blessed in the Church in order for me to become Catholic?
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"The alternative to obedience is to turn the conversation into a cacophony of Christians making it up as they go along." - Fr. Richard John Neuhaus
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 4981 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Mon Nov 27th, 2006 11:21 am |
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JillD wrote: I am converting, but my husband is not. Does our marriage need to be blessed in the Church in order for me to become Catholic?
If you have each been married only once and to each other, then the answer is probably no. You will have to discuss your specific circumstances with your priest or RCIA coordinator to be certain.
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Prodigal Daughter
Member
| Joined: | Wed Nov 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 196 |
| First Name: | Deborah/PD | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptized Catholic, received First Communion, left during Confirmation year. ... |
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Posted: Sun Aug 19th, 2007 11:23 pm |
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We have a friend who is wondering the same thing. She married a lapsed Catholic outside of the Church. Now she wants to convert and her husband is adamently opposed to her conversion. Would her marriage have to be convalidated in order for her to convert?
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"Man should tremble, the world should vibrate, all Heaven should be deeply moved when the Son of God appears on the altar in the hands of the priest."
St. Francis of Assisi
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 4981 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Mon Aug 20th, 2007 01:15 am |
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Prodigal Daughter wrote: We have a friend who is wondering the same thing. She married a lapsed Catholic outside of the Church. Now she wants to convert and her husband is adamently opposed to her conversion. Would her marriage have to be convalidated in order for her to convert?
Yes. As a Catholic he was bound by the laws of the Church to be married in the presence of a priest. Radical Sanation is a possibility, but convalidation is the normal procedure. Of course, this is assuming that each has been married only once and to each other. She should discuss the situation with her priest.
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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BodRod
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 720 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Mon Aug 20th, 2007 05:45 am |
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Hi Jill,
I was in that boat only in reverse. My wife did not convert. In fact she is VERY ANTI-Catholic but it was NOT a problem. As Rick said, this is my ONLY marriage and it was done in a legal manner so I was accepted into the Church and I have been allowed to help out, etc. in various Church ministries. 
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Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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Esther
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Kansas City, Kansas USA |
| Posts: | 148 |
| First Name: | Esther | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist to Roman Catholic 11/26/06 |
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Posted: Mon Aug 20th, 2007 01:58 pm |
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In fact she is VERY ANTI-Catholic
Has it gotten any better over time?
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BodRod
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 720 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Mon Aug 20th, 2007 03:16 pm |
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| From time to time, I mention things about the Church, Mass, RCIA, serving, etc. since it is an important part of my life. She no longer explodes when I do this. I think that is progress. Last edited on Mon Aug 20th, 2007 09:47 pm by BodRod
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Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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JillD
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 600 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
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Posted: Mon Aug 20th, 2007 08:54 pm |
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BodRod wrote: From time to time, I mention things about the Church, Mass, RCIA, serving, etc. since it is an important is part of my life. She no longer explodes when I do this. I think that is progress.
I've just about finished listening to Tim Staples's conversion CD's called "Jimmy Swaggart Made Me Catholic." WHEW! Was he ever ANTI-Catholic!! And such a rebel at a young age. It is nothing short of miraculous that he is now what he is, one of the best, most articulate Catholic apologists out there. If your wife won't listen, you could. It would be so encouraging to you. You could play it just loud enough for others to hear....
Jill
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"The alternative to obedience is to turn the conversation into a cacophony of Christians making it up as they go along." - Fr. Richard John Neuhaus
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BodRod
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 720 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Mon Aug 20th, 2007 10:04 pm |
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Hi Jill,
When my wife comes into "my room" (where is located the computer, my ham radio station, stacks of books, my professor stuff, etc.) she sees EWTN on the TV. Before, whenever she saw Mother A. she referred to her as "that old woman". Now days she just glances at the TV and a time or two she has paused a moment and listened. My older daughter has helped in this area a lot. In fact she talked my wife into going out to the monastery for an afternoon of festival and food last Fall. The daughter is also, not a Catholic but she has numerous crosses, wears a cross everywhere she goes and even has one on her rear view mirror in her car. One more factor in the mix is my wife's third stroke last November. She is currently more concerned about staying alive now days and less concerned about what I do. Our situation is a puzzle to me. Many people in her condition are interested, if not concerned, about the future, but she has no interest whatever in that regard.
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Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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JillD
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 600 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
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Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2007 01:33 am |
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BodRod wrote: One more factor in the mix is my wife's third stroke last November. She is currently more concerned about staying alive now days and less concerned about what I do. Our situation is a puzzle to me. Many people in her condition are interested, if not concerned, about the future, but she has no interest whatever in that regard.
That is strange. Well, I pray that you might find the words that would make something click in her mind (three strokes?!) that would give her an interest in her ultimate destiny. Being divided in faith is very difficult. I'm facing that, too, though not with any enmity or negativity.
When I was a kid, back around the late 60's we used to go to a dude ranch called the C-Bar-H there in Apple Valley. 'Don't suppose you've lived there that long, have you? It was a blast!
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"The alternative to obedience is to turn the conversation into a cacophony of Christians making it up as they go along." - Fr. Richard John Neuhaus
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BettyBoopToo
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Camas/Washougal, Washington USA |
| Posts: | 538 |
| First Name: | Betty | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Fist Baptist/Calvary Babtist/Secular Confusion/ Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2007 02:20 am |
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Prodigal Daughter wrote: We have a friend who is wondering the same thing. She married a lapsed Catholic outside of the Church. Now she wants to convert and her husband is adamently opposed to her conversion. Would her marriage have to be convalidated in order for her to convert?
Deb:
My husband is a cradle catholic and had not been to the church since around the time of his first holy communion, unless we count funerals in his family. When I converted, he had to go to confession and then father convalidated our marriage in the church. We both had been married twice, but to each other? Long story, but the short of it is. We were only 2months out of High School the first time. divorced a year, but never really broke up and remarried a year later. Father was confused at first but called the Bishop and found that neither of our other marriages were valid.
When he said that he wanted him to come in for confession, I cried and thought he would not do it. His mother talked to him and he said yes! to my surprise. then I think we found out confession was not necessary, but it was after he had already come in for confession and certainly No harm done!
After going through the ceremony three times for us, My husband said "This is the Last time I'm doing this!" I think it was the best time.
I think this is such a painful and difficult issue for some couples. I include such as these in my list of monthly prayers.
Betty
Last edited on Tue Aug 21st, 2007 02:33 am by BettyBoopToo
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Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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BettyBoopToo
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Camas/Washougal, Washington USA |
| Posts: | 538 |
| First Name: | Betty | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Fist Baptist/Calvary Babtist/Secular Confusion/ Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2007 02:58 am |
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Criff:
I'm so sorry to hear of your wifes health issues.
my wife's third stroke last November.
This is so scarry for you both, I will include your wife in my prayers also.
Many people in her condition are interested, if not concerned, about the future, but she has no interest whatever in that regard.
This is a point that I cannot seem to understand my husband. He has such a hard time considering giving up the rest of his life to God? We have had conversations about how long eternity is and for a relatively intelligent man, he just does not understand the concept of eternity. I have tried several different ways to explain it, but I'm not sure that he does not think eternity is a theory.
Criff; Your room sounds like mine! part office with PC & desk set up, TV, Two recliners to accomadate my pain condition, bookshelf for my books, CD's, small sterio/radio for catholic station.Quite a bit of catholic artwork, crusifix, our lady collection, etc. He turned our formal living room into my room last winter and bought me all new desk,bookshelf and furniture and painted it for me. for our 25th anniversary. It was very kind of him and it's really nice to have my own space.
God Bless
Betty
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Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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BodRod
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 720 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2007 10:18 am |
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BettyBoopToo wrote:
I will include your wife in my prayers also.
Thank you.
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Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 4981 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2007 02:53 pm |
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BodRod wrote: Many people in her condition are interested, if not concerned, about the future, but she has no interest whatever in that regard.
With as many terminally ill patients as I counseled, I learned that those who are afraid of death often will concentrate on life, as though they can put it off. I most often found that people who had been promised "eternal security" (once saved, always saved) began to have doubts about that philosophy when their backs were up against the wall. Once I determined the problem I was able to reassure them by using Catholic doctrine (without identifying it, of course) of works as given in Matthew 25:31-46.
Until they accepted that reassurance, they hung on kicking and screaming, had demonic nightmares, etc. The fears were by no means universal and tended to be concentrated on those who had not regularly attended church or practiced their faith, since they had been told they could never lose their salvation. But when it came down to it, they did not truly believe those assurances.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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BodRod
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 720 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2007 03:04 pm |
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CajunRick wrote: With as many terminally ill patients as I counseled, I learned that those who are afraid of death often will concentrate on life, as though they can put it off.
Sounds like a blend of On Death and Dying and denial.
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Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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BettyBoopToo
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Camas/Washougal, Washington USA |
| Posts: | 538 |
| First Name: | Betty | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Fist Baptist/Calvary Babtist/Secular Confusion/ Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2007 03:35 pm |
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Rick
Until they accepted that reassurance, they hung on kicking and screaming, had demonic nightmares, etc. The fears were by no means universal and tended to be concentrated on those who had not regularly attended church or practiced their faith, since they had been told they could never lose their salvation. But when it came down to it, they did not truly believe those assurances.
This is an interesting observation.
I have really been considering taking a class from my medical provider that teaches hospice care to lay people like me.
Any suggestions you may have or think of would be very welcomed.
Betty
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Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 4981 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Tue Aug 21st, 2007 10:56 pm |
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BettyBoopToo wrote: Any suggestions you may have or think of would be very welcomed.
We are off topic, of course, so if you want more information please start a new thread, but the greatest gift you can give them is yourself. Go in with no expectations and no preconceived notions. You are a friend visiting a friend. You can offer to pick up a few things at the store for them or bring them small gifts or food items (with medical approval). Don't preach to them or share your faith unless they ask you to. (You can let them know you're willing.) Don't question their faith, whether it is Christian or Muslim or Buddhist. Concentrate on what you have in common with them. Be their friend. You can request visiting Catholics who wish to pray the rosary, or read scripture. Don't be a teacher, be a friend. If you are visiting a Catholic (especially if the hospice has a Protestant chaplain), always ask if they have seen a priest or if they receive communion. If they ask you to, call the priest and ask him to visit to hear their confession, or call the parish office to put them on the communion list. Do not do it without permission; that's a violation of HIPAA privacy laws. If in doubt, talk to the nurse or chaplain.
Don't be taken advantage of. If you offer to pick up a few groceries, they may give you a six foot long list. Unless you're willing to become a slave, don't do it even once. Don't offer to bring them food except as an occasional treat, or you will become "meals on wheels". Washing a few dishes or doing a few chores is OK (especially if that's what you're there for) but don't let them take advantage of you, especially if there is family available to help. Don't become a babysitter beyond occasional respite care. Caregivers need a break every now and then, but don't let them take advantage of you.
Don't lie to them, but be encouraging. Do not tell them they are going to get better. It doesn't hurt to remind them that Jesus healed the sick. But also remind them that there is more than one kind of healing: body, mind, and spirit. Matthew 25:31-46 was my favorite passage to share with them, as it details exactlly the requirements to get into heaven.
Nurses, aides, and chaplains will clue you in on the particular circumstances of that patient and that family. Give yourself, it's the best you have to give.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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BettyBoopToo
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Camas/Washougal, Washington USA |
| Posts: | 538 |
| First Name: | Betty | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Fist Baptist/Calvary Babtist/Secular Confusion/ Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Sun Aug 26th, 2007 01:08 am |
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Thank you Rick very much.
May I copy and save your suggestions for a future date of renewing your thoughts & suggestions in my mind?
thank you very much, this is exactly what I need to know
Betty
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Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 4981 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Sun Aug 26th, 2007 11:24 am |
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BettyBoopToo wrote:May I copy and save your suggestions for a future date of renewing your thoughts & suggestions in my mind?
Certainly.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Connie
User on Probation
| Joined: | Fri Jun 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 99 |
| First Name: | Connie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic Convert from Presbyterian, then Episcopalian |
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Posted: Tue Sep 4th, 2007 02:25 pm |
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Dearest JillD:
No, your marriage is already blessed by God. You do not need to have it blessed by any further means here dear. Don't get too caught up in ritual.
We, my hubby and I, were married with a valid church, many years ago. I just converted 2-3 years ago, can't remember. But I do know our marriage was a valid marriage, maybe not a Catholic one, but still one recognized before God and witnesses. Marriage vows were said, promises were made. They stand despite our numerous denominations.
So as I mentioned JillD, do not get too caught up with the entrapments. Or feel, you are not OK unless everything you did in your entire life not being a Catholic is catching up to you.
God knows your heart and the pledge you made before Him in your marriage.
Don't forget. Also God sees the way you and your hubby are living your life as Christians. The way you choose to raise your kids. He sees and knows all.
Seek Him and you will never be disappointed.
Love, Your sister in Christ,
Connie
P.S. We were married in the Presbyterian Church. In order for me to convert, we never needed to do anything. Nor do you. Go for your conversion, sister, and pray your husband will come in soon. But as for now, just do it, follow where Christ is leading you, with or without support. I did. Yes it was hard, but I had to do it, all the same.
Interesting....I bought my Protestant husband a John Paul II cross about a year ago, and he has never taken it off. When the chain broke, he instantly asked me to go have it fixed that day. God has his hand on him, as He does on your family.
Last edited on Tue Sep 4th, 2007 02:31 pm by Connie
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~Connie~
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JillD
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 600 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
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Posted: Tue Sep 4th, 2007 02:37 pm |
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Hi Connie,
Amen! I'm almost 5 months a Catholic now and thrilled daily to be so. Thanks for the words of encouragement!
Jill
____________________
"The alternative to obedience is to turn the conversation into a cacophony of Christians making it up as they go along." - Fr. Richard John Neuhaus
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Connie
User on Probation
| Joined: | Fri Jun 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 99 |
| First Name: | Connie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic Convert from Presbyterian, then Episcopalian |
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Posted: Tue Sep 4th, 2007 03:06 pm |
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Praise God Jill!
He will no doubt do wonderful things for you and for your marriage!
Just never cease Trusting in Him, OK?
God Bless You--
Your Friend,
Connie
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~Connie~
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