 |
| Author | Post |
|---|
CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5079 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 04:13 pm |
|
The following was originally posted by rebadragon after the old forum software crashed, and was never placed online. Please note that I have edited out the names of a few towns and the church where she attends RCIA to avoid personal identification. I have left in the name of the offending church, which deserves to be widely known.
Hello all, I am attaching the body of a letter I wrote today to the local parish after being completely humiliated publically by the priest. The letter explains what happened. I have not sent it yet, and would like some feedback. Is there even any point in sending this? Was I wrong? I am so confused by this experience, and am having a hard time "shaking it off" today. I just want to start by telling you that when I entered this church this morning, there were SEVERAL other young children and babies, all of them making different babbling noises at various moments. (you'll see why this is significant in my letter).
To the staff of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel,
I am just returning home from attending you 12:15 Latin Mass with my children. First some background: I am presently in my fifth week of RCIA at [church name deleted]. I am entering the Catholic Church after 12 years in a controlling and ultra-conservative wing of the Protestant Evangelical church. Needless to say, leaving this church has left me without a spiritual home, and has resulted in the loss of several relationships and a ministry that I was very involved in (music). However, the price was worth it to come "into the fullness" of the Catholic Church, and I am eagerly anticipating the day when I can finally partake of the eucharist. My husband is also very excited about this change, since he is returning the faith of his childhood and teen years, having been baptized and confirmed in Catholic Church.
Since I live in [town deleted], I thought I would come to your church since it is closer to home. I also noticed that you had a Latin Mass, and was hoping that meant that you were a little more conservative than [town deleted], since I feel I would be more comfortable in such a parish. So, I came with my two children in tow to experience the beauty of a Latin Mass for the first time.
I give you this background so you can understand that I am BRAND NEW to Catholicism and the Catholic Church. Although deeply familiar with doctrine and dogma, since that is the path I took to believe in the truth of the Catholic Church, I know very little of practice and custom. The few churches I have been to have been welcoming to children, and one would always hear a cry or call from the young ones during all parts of the service. I also know very little of the order of the service, ie. when to sit, kneel, cross myself, or....when the sermon is beginning.
So, you can imagine how shocked I was, after my baby called out a few times, when the priest stopped speaking and said in a terribly annoyed voice, "HAVE MERCY ON ME, PLEASE TAKE THAT CHILD OUT DURING THE SERMON! TAKE THE CHILD OUT!!!" He then waited in silence while I picked up both of my children and walked out before he would begin speaking again. This was a terribly humiliating experience for me, having to walk out in shame in front of a church full of strangers all looking at me. It was especially hurtful since I was sitting there with an open heart, eager to observe the Mass. I had no idea that a child was not supposed to be in the sanctuary when they were making a little noise, or that the sermon was a more important part than another therefore requiring silence, or even that the sermon had just begun! I was immediately embarassed, but held it together until I go to my car, where I could not help from crying.
Now, please don't misunderstand my point. I am not saying that I have a problem taking a noise-making baby out of a church. On the contrary, the evangelical church I used to attend would not even allow children under 13 into the sanctuary. Every church seems to have a different protocol, and my minimal experience at other Catholic Churches has been filled with the sounds of babies and young children. My point is that the WAY I was asked to remove my child was humiliating, embarassing and hurtful. May I suggest that if you ever run into a similar circumstance, that you assume the best of the person. May I suggest that you have a policy that one of your "regulars" (for instance, the man handing out the missals) tells newcomers that talking/crying babies should be swiftly and immediately removed upon making any noise. Or, that someone approach that person quietly and request that they remove the baby in a way that does not draw the attention of the ENTIRE church body to them.
I want you to know that I was not at your church out of obligation, habit or to annoy your priest with a baby. I was there out of sincere desire to learn, experience and worship God. The church should be a place where all the attributes of Christ are given bodily form, in His followers. These attributes include, love, mercy, grace, longsuffering and unity. It's too bad that none of these things were extended to me, a sincere and open visitor. I write this letter in hopes that it will encourage you to remember your purpose as a church. I hope that you will realize that not everyone who walks through your doors knows or understands what is proper and good in a church, that everyone comes from a different place. I hope that you remember that the church is not a place where perfect people come to gather, but where imperfect people are gathered in Christ's name, in a unity and love that could only be God's working. God bless you, and I pray for the growth and strength of your parish.
Sincerely, RD
Anything I should add or take out, or scrap the whole thing altogether? Reba, mom to Bella and Jude, wife of Matthew
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
|
|
|
Talithacumi
Member
| Joined: | Sat Sep 30th, 2006 |
| Location: | Eastern Ohio, USA |
| Posts: | 260 |
| First Name: | Cheri | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic - Latin Rite |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 09:25 pm |
|
cajunrick wrote: The following was originally posted by rebadragon after the old forum software crashed, and was never placed online. Please note that I have edited out the names of a few towns and the church where she attends RCIA to avoid personal identification. I have left in the name of the offending church, which deserves to be widely known.
Hello all, I am attaching the body of a letter I wrote today to the local parish after being completely humiliated publically by the priest. The letter explains what happened. I have not sent it yet, and would like some feedback. Is there even any point in sending this? Was I wrong? I am so confused by this experience, and am having a hard time "shaking it off" today. I just want to start by telling you that when I entered this church this morning, there were SEVERAL other young children and babies, all of them making different babbling noises at various moments. (you'll see why this is significant in my letter).
In response to Reba, I personally find the letter you wrote to be very charitable, considering the embarrassment you were caused. Personally, I find no reason why you shouldn't send it. And I am sorry that you were exposed to such treatment. That priest must have been having a really bad day! Or maybe he had a head-ache, or maybe he's just a crotchety man. As you say, none of us is perfect. It's just too bad he chose to humiliate you in front of the entire congregation that way. That was pretty rude, in my opinion. I hope you understand that this is not the norm.
On a side note, if you have young children that tend to be noisy (as young children are wont to be), some of the larger Catholic churches have a "crying room," which is generally a sound-proof glassed-in room adjacent to the nave of the church that is designed specifically so that parents can take part in the Mass (they can see through the glass, and there is usually a speaker system that allows those in the room to hear what's going on in the sanctuary) while keeping their noisy children from disrupting the Mass. Any time you plan to attend a different parish, you might check into whether or not a crying room is available.
JMJ
- Cheri
____________________
“We do not want a Church that will move with the world; we want a Church that will move the world.”
- G.K. Chesterton
|
|
|
SBC2RCC
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | York, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 124 |
| First Name: | Monte | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | was Southern Baptist Minister, now Roman Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 10:25 pm |
|
Dear RD (Reba),
Oh my, I wish I could say I find this totally out of the ordinary, but rudeness and lack of sensitivity often pop up from those we least expect. Not much point in my saying I am sorry, but I do feel a sense of wanting to shoulder up your embarassment.
As Rick points out, many Catholic churches have crying rooms, but more to the point, as you note, most catholic churches have babbling babies in the congregation. More so than most protestant churches. I find it neat that at times the child may exclaim at the point that I feel like shouting "hallelujah" as I did in the past. Now, I don't want to cause my fellow catholics to have a stroke.
Maybe you can later try to get to know this priest and befriend and support him, perhaps bring some sunshine into a rainy day disposition. Some are hard to get close to, others are in need of more people who will care and be their supporters. This is sort of the paradoxical way of approaching one who has offended us.
In closing, it is good that this seems to not deter you from your journey, you can see that the purpose God has in leading you into the Catholic CHurch is much bigger and compelling.
____________________
In Christ,
Monte W
(Formerly on CHN Forum as "Pilgrim Paul"
Minima Maxima Sunt
|
|
|
CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5079 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 11:56 pm |
|
I found it particularly interesting that the priest chose to make such an insensitive demand immediately before preaching on the gospel passage from Mark in which Jesus commands the apostles to "let the children come to me."
My advise to Reba (sent privately) was to send the letter to the pastor as well as to the bishop of the diocese in question. The bishop needs to know how his priests are treating members of his congregation, and how he is spreading the gospel message.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
|
|
|
Papalheart
Member
| Joined: | Tue Oct 10th, 2006 |
| Location: | Groton, Connecticut USA |
| Posts: | 7 |
| First Name: | Theresa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Roman Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 10th, 2006 10:25 pm |
|
Reba, and fellow new forum members,
I'd like to echo the sentiments of others, and thank you Reba, for such a wonderful letter. I do hope that you have sent it, as suggested to both the priest and Bishop!
I am a cradle Catholic, blessed to have had one of the most awesome spiritual fathers, he would have advised that you send this wonderful letter to both, I'm sure of it.
There are many things I wish to say, however, the only thing I feel compelled to say is Welcome Home! I admire your charity and recognition of the truth of our faith, and willingness to look past such a humiliating experience.
Pax Tecum,
Theresa
____________________
Jesus I trust in You!
|
|
|
BettyBoopToo
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Camas/Washougal, Washington USA |
| Posts: | 538 |
| First Name: | Betty | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Fist Baptist/Calvary Babtist/Secular Confusion/ Roman Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 12th, 2006 03:35 am |
|
Reba:
I truly am sorry for your dredful experiance. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes, The only thing my mind comes up with is. Isen't our Lord amazing! He has truly bestowed some very beautiful graces on your heart. I'm afraid to even think of my reaction.
Your letter is more than charitable. I agree with Rick that you should send it to the priest and the bishop and I too find it interesting that this would happen on the same day of the reading from Mark about bring the children to Jesus.
I'm certain others found it ironic too.
I hope your little ones are not old enough to know or understand what happened that really hurts my heart if they did.
God Bless you and yours
BBT
cajunrick wrote:
I found it particularly interesting that the priest chose to make such an insensitive demand immediately before preaching on the gospel passage from Mark in which Jesus commands the apostles to "let the children come to me."
My advise to Reba (sent privately) was to send the letter to the pastor as well as to the bishop of the diocese in question. The bishop needs to know how his priests are treating members of his congregation, and how he is spreading the gospel message.
____________________
Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
|
|
|
RCWarrior
Banned
| Joined: | Tue Mar 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 93 |
| First Name: | stefany | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | I am a Devout Roman Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 24th, 2007 05:21 pm |
|
| Reba, I don't know. It's really hard for me to believe a priest would do this and tell you to get out. I just can't buy it. I'm sorry. Perhaps there is another side to this. That is also why they make "crying rooms" at most of the churches, so you can sit in there with your children. I am not saying you are lying, just extremely hard for me to buy it without listening to the other side. I just tell the truth. Peace in Christ.
____________________
I know God won't give me anything I can't handle; I just wish he didn't trust me so much---Mother Teresa
If you invoke The Blessed Virgin when you are tempted, she will come at once to your help, and Satan will leave you----St. John Vianney
|
|
|
JillD
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 678 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 24th, 2007 11:53 pm |
|
| Does anyone know what eventually happened, if she sent the letter, what response she got, if any?? Is "Rebadragon" still with us here on the new forum?
____________________
"I praise you, for I am wondrously made. Wonderful are our works! You know me right well; my frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately wrought in the depths of the earth." Psalm 139
|
|
|
CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5079 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 25th, 2007 12:14 am |
|
JillD wrote: Does anyone know what eventually happened, if she sent the letter, what response she got, if any?? Is "Rebadragon" still with us here on the new forum?
Unfortunately, she has never registered on the new forum, so we don't know the resolution of the problem.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
|
|
|
Current time is 05:18 am | |
|
|
|
|
|
