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Ali
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Posted: Tue Mar 11th, 2008 12:36 pm |
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I'm taking Q to stations this Friday. He is 7. Right before stations is adoration. I wanted to give him 30 minutes.
I think what I really want is reassurance that we'll be ok. I mean, I know I can take him. I know he loves God. But he's fidgety and cannot be quiet to save his life, lol. I don't expect 30 minutes of silent prayer from him. Far from it, we will probably pray together the prayers he knows. And I'll take his little Bible books for him to give me a few minutes of silent prayer. I do plan to sit very clost to the altar, fwiw.
Do you see young kids there? Has anyone taken their own children with them?
You wouldn't be upset to see a young child walking in, would you?
LOL, I don't know why I'm nervous about this.
Just a side note, our parrish does not have stations for young people, or we would be all over that. Nor do we have adoration regularly.
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Annie
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Posted: Tue Mar 11th, 2008 01:04 pm |
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Normally Eucharistic Adoration is defined partly by its silence, hence the only time I have seen children there is with a parent and they pray the rosary (silently) together and then leave. Do not go intending to pray out loud.
You're nervous about it because you know it is inappropriate.
I edited this later to make it more firmly worded than before.
Last edited on Tue Mar 11th, 2008 01:51 pm by Annie
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Ora et labora
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wmschrader
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Posted: Tue Mar 11th, 2008 04:01 pm |
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My Daughter in law takes her 4 kids (8,6,4 and 6 months) to adoration weekly. She started them with about 5 minutes and after 3 months is up to about 25-30 minutes.
She home schools. Her Catholic Moms group also attend Mass each Friday
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LOVECC
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Posted: Tue Mar 11th, 2008 04:10 pm |
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Hi Ali,
I think it is absolutely fine to bring your son with you to adoration, as long as he understands what you are doing and that he is to behave himself. I think it is great to start children at a young age to understand the significance of the Real Presence and the reverance that is required when you are in His presence. Those are the moments in your son's life that he will remember when he is older and becomes responsible for his own faith journey. It is a witness to him about how important Jesus is to you.
I would just add that if he starts being disruptive that you take him out, so as not to hinder others from their prayer. If he has a book he likes or a notebook he can doodle in, that might help with boredom.
Jesus said not to hinder the children from coming to Him, so I think He will be thrilled to have your son there visiting with Him. 
In Christ,
Lisa
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CajunRick
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Posted: Tue Mar 11th, 2008 05:39 pm |
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Ali wrote: I wanted to give him 30 minutes.
You know your son, but I do think 30 minutes is a little long for a child that age to experience adoration for the first time. I think I'd try for 10-15 minutes the first time, and you can judge from there for the future.
It's not a matter of his being unable to love and respect the Lord, it's just that kids that age have a short attention span, and he could well disrupt the concentration of others who might desperately need the silence.
Of course, if you go at at time when others are not present, you do not need to concern yourself as the Lord will indeed be pleased by his presence. But if others are there, you need to respect their need for silence.
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Didi
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Posted: Tue Mar 11th, 2008 07:09 pm |
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I remember when I first started going to adoration it would sometimes bug me when people came in (not always just kids) and be kind of loud. After all, this was MY hour with Jesus! 
Then, Jesus softened my heart, and I learned to be grateful for every soul that came to Him. Often Moms with young ones will stop in, sometimes only for a minute or two, but I imagine Jesus smiling when He sees this! He does want the little children to come to Him, and how can they learn this wonderful habit of coming to talk to Him in the Holy Eucharist if they don't learn it from their parents? I love to see the little ones genuflecting (or trying to!), bowing, kneeling, making the sign of the cross. Sometimes I see them blowing kisses to Jesus as they leave -- how beautiful!
What hurts my heart now is when someone wanders in the adoration chapel and doesn't even acknowledge Jesus on the altar (no genuflection, no sign of the cross); they just walk in and out. Then I think, maybe they don't know, maybe they're not even Catholic, and say a prayer for them and tell Jesus I'm sorry on their behalf.
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Ali
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Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 11:49 am |
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Annie wrote: Normally Eucharistic Adoration is defined partly by its silence, hence the only time I have seen children there is with a parent and they pray the rosary (silently) together and then leave. Do not go intending to pray out loud. So kneeling side by side and quietly saying prayers is, IYO, innappropriate? By out loud you make it sound as though I will be standing with arms spread praying for the spirit to hit me, like out of movie or something  I get what you are saying, though.
wmschrade wrote:
My Daughter in law takes her 4 kids (8,6,4 and 6 months) to adoration weekly. She started them with about 5 minutes and after 3 months is up to about 25-30 minutes. Surely these children are not mute the entire time. How do other people react to the interuption?
LOVECC wrote:
I would just add that if he starts being disruptive that you take him out, so as not to hinder others from their prayer. If he has a book he likes or a notebook he can doodle in, that might help with boredom. Yes, I planned on taking some books for him.
CajunRick wrote:
I think I'd try for 10-15 minutes the first time, and you can judge from there for the future. Yes, I decided that 30 min was really to long for him to not talk. Unfortunately, in the future means not until next year for us. EA is not a regular occurrence around here. By that time I expect his maturity to have increase.
Didi wrote:
Then, Jesus softened my heart, and I learned to be grateful for every soul that came to Him. Often Moms with young ones will stop in, sometimes only for a minute or two, but I imagine Jesus smiling when He sees this! He does want the little children to come to Him, and how can they learn this wonderful habit of coming to talk to Him in the Holy Eucharist if they don't learn it from their parents? I love to see the little ones genuflecting (or trying to!), bowing, kneeling, making the sign of the cross. Sometimes I see them blowing kisses to Jesus as they leave -- how beautiful! Thank you for these words, they are very encouraging.
Thanks for everyone's thoughts and opinions thus far!
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Annie
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Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 01:03 pm |
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| Silence means silence.
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EMarshallBuckles
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Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 03:42 pm |
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One one hand, I agree with Annie that there should be silence at such times, yet, on the other hand, I feel that it would be very good for children to attend such times even if it is only for a few minutes gradually working up to more time. Of course, I am sure that you will be telling them that this is a quiet time in which we think about Jesus and love Him as well as telling them that it is extremely important that they be quiet so as not to disturb others (and am sure you will do that of course). Some sort of promised reward, for afterwards, might be a good idea, with the requirement, of course, that silence gets the reward and making noise gets a "time out in the corner at home" later on in the day. Around Easter time, I have seen some chocolate candies produced in the shape of a Cross and of the Pascal Lamb (I think that the Palmer Company may produce them). Or maybe you could get some molds and make candies in Christian sorts of shapes. Being very quiet and respectful during adoration times gets the child some of these candies with a Christian shape. This might help the children associate times in church and with Jesus with sweetness. I know that some of our Jewish brothers and sisters will give children something sweet, when they first have Scriptures read to them so that the child will associate sweetness with the Scriptures.
When she got old enought to sit upright in a pew, between us, my wife and I would take our daughter Beth into church services with us. We got little Christian scenes for her to color or she could lay over against us and sleep if she wanted to do that. We had candies we would let her suck or chew on and sometimes I would have some of the candies too, ha, ha! We never had to discipline her at all. She was always very quiet and said that she especially liked the music. People would often remark on how quiet she would be and praise her for being so good. When we started to bring our daughter into the morning services, few if any people brought their children in, however, apparently we started to provide an example for others because others started to bring their children into church as well. Of course, some children might have problems such as hyperactivity and might need a nursery which churches should provide. I have seen some churches let children be in the service until shortly before the sermon. Then the Pastor will do a short "children's sermon" and the children will go off to "Godly play", as some churches call it, until their parents/guardians pick them up after the service. However, even if it is only for short period of time, such as for hymns or short times of adoration, as long as they are managing to be quiet, I think that it is good for children to be in church and to find church a comforting, happy place to be where they feel loved. Like Annie says, they SHOULD be quiet (which would mean promptly taking them out if they start to raise a fuss), however, spending at least a little time in church and it being a pleasant time as much as possible, should at least a little part of a child's life from an early age I feel.
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rbo4u2
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Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 04:09 pm |
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I'm not an expert on this and since we don't have children, I'm kinda like W.C. Fields when I'm around them. My first mass was an Ash Wednesday Mass in Roseville, Ca. at the St. Rose of Lima parish. I was the most lost person in the world and, frankly didn't get much out of it. It was noisy, a lot of crying babies and jabbering children. Teenagers in my row were giggling and making fun of people or each other. The homily was maybe a C- and the music was wretched. After a confusing evening of trying to follow the crowd in all the kneeling, bowing etc I walked away thinking, "Is this what all the excitment is about? Keep me bored." But the precious little lady who owned the little Catholic Bookstore and introduced me to Catholicsm wouldn't let me go that easily. She encourged me to keep reading and listening to EWTN. Thank God for EWTN. It kept me going.
My second mass was a noontime mass here in Santa Clara at the Our Lady of Peace Shrine. I was impressed with some of the families there. The kids were following along in their children's missals and were very respectful. I could never understand the large group of people standing in the rear of the church. They never took a seat and following the Eucharist, disappeared. But, the homily was good. The music was tolerable. I love the shrine and look forward to returning and spending time in adoration. I know I haven't contributed to this thread, but I can say, for a newbie, silence from the children is golden.
Rich
Last edited on Wed Mar 12th, 2008 04:09 pm by rbo4u2
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Intercessor
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Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 04:52 pm |
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I go to Adoration 4-6 days a week and have observed different behaviors from others. I agree with Annie that silence is silence. Talking quietly is not silence. Whispering is certainly not silence. Even mouthing the words to the rosary is not silence if your lips are smacking in the process for seventeen minutes. That drives me nuts. I want to ask the person, "Why don't you say your rosary at home, if you can't do it silently here?"
If somebody interferes with my adoration time, I always have the next day and the next to look forward to; but most folks get to attend only once a week or even only once a month. To have that precious opportunity ruined by smacking lips or whispering or squirming or falling objects is really unfortunate for them.
Lest you think I'm a total jerk, I'll share that one young woman with a baby comes sometimes. I decided to assume that she has nobody to keep the infant while she attends adoration. When she's there, I pray for her and her little one like crazy. I've even thought about offering to walk around outside for a while with the baby so that she could enjoy some privacy and silence herself.
A family with four pre-schoolers came in once. The mom shushed them as they entered, got them all situated, kneeling, praying. They were gone within five minutes. My kind of mom. She's training the children but with sensitivity to the needs of other adorers.
____________________
"If our charity is arrested by the difficulties encountered in dealing with our neighbor, . . . our relations with our brethren are not regulated by our love of God, but by our love of self." Divine Intimacy p. 781, Fr. Gabriel, O.C.D.
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rbo4u2
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Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 05:11 pm |
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I've been to the Shrine for Adoration. They say the Rosary every hour on the hour which sometimes is, quite frankly, distracting. Especially when they say it seemingly all in one breath. (I never knew someone could talk that fast) I don't know how they contemplate the mysteries when they go that fast. (I know, I know, now I'm sounding like a Protestant) Well...wadja expect...I R one.
Anyway, most of the time it is very reverential and quiet except for the creaky pews. I'm with nearly everyone here that the quiet is what is so wonderful.
Rev
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Didi
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Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 05:48 pm |
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Annie wrote: Silence means silence.
What if I have to sneeze??!! If I do, I look at Jesus in the Monstrance and say to Him -- bless me!
What if there is a really distraught person who comes in crying terribly and you feel called by the Lord to give her some kleenex, put your arm around her and ask if you can pray for her?
There is a difference between reverence and silence. As long as one is reverent and aware of Jesus on the altar, I think that is the most important thing.
For everything there is a season, as it says in Ecclesiastes 3, including verse 7: "...a time to keep silence, and a time to speak..."
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Dave Armstrong
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Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 07:29 pm |
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Here's my $00.0000002 on this:
I think a child at adoration should be old enough to be perfectly silent and well-behaved. I feel strongly that adoration should be free of all distractions for those who attend it, and that it would be better for us (with children) to not go, than to go and distract and annoy others with a noisy child.
People understand at Mass that some children will make noise (and that this obviously can't prevent parents from attending altogether), but (non-obligatory) adoration takes it a step further, I think. It's a time that should be free from all distraction. Heaven knows, we have enough of those all through the day and even (for parents) too often at Mass.
Our own kids are pretty good in church but every child is different, and parents have to determine for each one what is appropriate and when. Seven years old can be very borderline! I'm always very aware as to whether one of our children is being too noisy, and I try to respect others around us. When our kids were younger, and started crying loudly (when a baby!), etc., I would quickly take them to the back of the church, rather than think, "well, hey, that's just how babies are, and others have to realize that and accept it."
Just my opinion. This is certainly an area where honest people can disagree in good conscience.
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Intercessor
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Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 07:53 pm |
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Didi wrote:
What if I have to sneeze??!!
Definitely no sneezing allowed, Didi.
Seriously, I drove across town to the shrine recently because I really needed Adoration time after an illness. Someone else was also present. I muffled my first two coughs. After the third, I got up and left (though I'd been there less than ten minutes) so that my continuing coughing would not distract the other adorer.
Our culture has become so noisy. That special place and brief period of silence is precious.Last edited on Wed Mar 12th, 2008 07:54 pm by Intercessor
____________________
"If our charity is arrested by the difficulties encountered in dealing with our neighbor, . . . our relations with our brethren are not regulated by our love of God, but by our love of self." Divine Intimacy p. 781, Fr. Gabriel, O.C.D.
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Didi
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Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 11:11 pm |
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I do understand the "ideal" of having it quiet for meditation, and I appreciate that myself as well. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, I'm just trying to say that we need to look at others as Jesus would look at them -- He wants the whole world to come to Him, including children, and I don't think we should keep them from that. If our quiet time is occasionally interrupted by someone who is a little noisy, we need to be understanding, patient and loving (all things which I am all the time  ha!).
Ali -- I know a local parish here that has a monthly family adoration hour for children. I think it's the first Friday of the month from 6-7 or something like that. Do you think it might be possible to do something like that in your parish? They have some led prayers, some songs and some quiet time. Some stay for just a portion of it, some for all of it. Might be something you could consider bringing up to your priest.
Just a thought!
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Intercessor
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Posted: Thu Mar 13th, 2008 12:25 am |
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A children's adoration service is a wonderful approach if you can find one within reasonable driving distance. There's a parish about thirty miles away which conducts a monthly children's adoration service which I attended once with a friend who was taking her little granddaughter.
The priest was wonderful. He gathered the little ones in a semicircle in front of the tabernacle. They practiced "making themselves small." He interspersed that bowing practice with some short, simple prayers and Eucharistic choruses suitable for children. Afterward a simple hot dog supper was served to those families who attended.
____________________
"If our charity is arrested by the difficulties encountered in dealing with our neighbor, . . . our relations with our brethren are not regulated by our love of God, but by our love of self." Divine Intimacy p. 781, Fr. Gabriel, O.C.D.
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CajunRick
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Posted: Thu Mar 13th, 2008 12:45 am |
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Didi wrote: Annie wrote: Silence means silence.
What if I have to sneeze??!!
A millennium in Purgatory!
Seriously, perfect silence is not required. What is required is a respect for others who may be present. Children should not be forbidden, but they should be respectful of others. If they become too unruly, they should be removed if others are present. The purpose of adoration is prayer and meditation in the presence of our Savior. If misbehaved children make prayer and meditation impossible, no one gains.
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
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Ali
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Posted: Sat Mar 15th, 2008 10:11 am |
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I wanted to update how it all went down last night
Quinten was perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better behaved little boy.
But, even if he hadn't been, I don't think anyone would have noticed anyway. We were there for 15 minutes of Adoration, and the other people there at the same time must have only come for Stations. Most people we just sitting in the pews looking over the little book for stations and stuff. Also Father was playing music. Is music usually played during EA?
So anyway, things went fine and I wouldn't be afraid to take Q again
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Intercessor
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Posted: Sat Mar 15th, 2008 01:02 pm |
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Ali, I'm so glad it went really well for you and Quinten.
I've never heard of music being played during Adoration, except for the
children's service that I mentioned.
There are people who truly seem unable to cope with genuine silence. They feel compelled to fill it with noise. I have taken road trips with such a person. On a nine-hour drive she could tolerate no moment of silence, no lapse in conversation. Chatter, chatter--a non-stop monologue for nine solid hours. 
Maybe I'm turning into a hermit.
Anyway, it's great that you and Quinten had a good experience.
____________________
"If our charity is arrested by the difficulties encountered in dealing with our neighbor, . . . our relations with our brethren are not regulated by our love of God, but by our love of self." Divine Intimacy p. 781, Fr. Gabriel, O.C.D.
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Dave Armstrong
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Posted: Mon Mar 17th, 2008 06:16 pm |
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Wonderful, Ali! Thanks for the "praise report." 
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