It’s not that I recommend fighting in school. I got into a few of my own and sad to say my win/loss record wasn’t what I’d hoped for. Let’s face it though, better for a sucker punch to come “out of nowhere” (at least that’s what I told my dad when he wondered how I could’ve gotten such a shiner) -- than a fatal bullet or knife wound.

When I was younger, if you had a fight, losing your life wasn’t even something you gave thought to. You might’ve worried half to death if a record of suspension for fighting was written with indelible ink. Death? Guns? (Well, a switchblade might’ve been an outside possibility, but guns?) No warnings? Unthinkable. Period. Well, I’m 56 and no longer as innocent in my ways of looking at what used to be normal fights.

Sucker punches compared to what comes out of a Smith and Wesson or Colt firearm aren’t small potatoes. I correct myself. They’re mere overcooked and shriveled French fries left over from lunch “compared” to any bullet ever fired.

Pathetically enough, like the usual small "corrections" for sloppy reporting which often get placed way back in the local papers next to the executor/estate ads placed by lawyers; -- the fact that most people who actually believe murder is more detestable than active homosexual conduct, as well as some of its practitioners' worst displays of ithe provocative in-your-face-"we're queer-we're-here -- get-over-it" nonsense, often gets lost in the usual fog of political crossfire that always follows a tragedy like this.

While typing this, I was listening to Country and Western recording Travis Tritt sing "turn out the lights, the competition's over" in a song titled "Foolish Pride." Like most ballads, this deals with heterosexual couples. But instead of letting the usual hand-wringing apologists for non-judgmentalism at all costs have the final say, we should remind everybody on all sides this isn't a matter of competing for minds (and of course, votes and dollars) -- but rather a chance to get us to stop and think of the costs of letting whatever differences we have on any given subject -- and most importantly -- our foolish pride, from getting out of hand. Pride, disrepect of humanity in general, disrespect of God’s Commandments, immaturity, the inability to control tempers and (for responsible adults) prevent a volatile situation ahead of time from falling out of control are the real culprits. This issue involved an out of control kid with gay tendencies, overreactions on both sides and a completely avoidable tragedy. But it doesn't require that only one side, usually the hetereosexuals, to don the sackcloth ashes and dunce caps on their way to a PC’d auto-da-fe of sorts.

When I started out to be a writer, I planned to focus on foreign policy issues. Shortly after becoming a full-time professional reporter and columnist (even in Amherst, which author Tracy Kidder House) said was the only town he knew of with it's own foreign policy), I became a father for the first time. It's amazing how parenthood can change a person's perspective overnight. What had once been a liberal, Mario Cuomo pro-choice Catholic, and more socially tolerant, albeit lesser informed guy, soon evolved into a more cautious and decidedly pro-life Catholic new dad. Even my writing about the local “peaceniks” had begun to mellow because I soon, upon the good advice of a concerned mentor in my chief editor, began to take stock in the real value of the written (and spoken, as well) word -- for either good, bad or worse.

What that sexually confused kid wore in school, screamed out in a law library's worth of books was that he was hurting for attention in the worst way; and he got it in spades, only he spewed it in ways that destroyed other lives as well. Who knows what tipped over the pain the started getting into cross-dressing, etc.? However, as the father of three grown kids and one very sensitive teen at home, I’ve learned from hard experience how easy it is to mess up a kid’s head, no matter how careful his mom or dad they’re expressing themselves. The power of words, even in this age of instant communications, cyber-iconography, etc., remains as strong, if not actually stronger, than ever.

As writing contributors to this forum, we might agree with an automatic nod , but there’s nothing automatic about our ability to fully understand the power we possess in the expression of the written world. I’m not saying this to brag, but it was child’s play for me to send hundreds of people into ideology-fueled tizzies in a heartbeat depending on how I treated their pet projects, be they “nuclear free zones,” “sister cities” with the USSR, Sandinista-controlled Nicaragua and of course, the Nuclear Freeze movement. Wailing, gnashing of teeth, letters of “outrage,” you name it: but no lawsuits for causing heart attacks or libel, etc. In the end I had more to worry from our nervous advertising sales reps.

But no death threats; no guns pulled on me and no reasons whatsoever to worry for my family’s well-being. Sure, my directed audience was mostly adults in both secular and diocesan papers. But, I could have gone over the top in somebody else’s eyes and that’s all it would’ve taken. Having done some awful things I’m not proud of in my earlier years, the arresting thought that my words might just do a job on somebody’s heart and blood pressure, surely gave me reason to tone things down over time.

Looking back, toning down my rhetoric and bombast proved to be a very expensive "career move." I had more than a lifetime’s worth of regrets. Hey, a man’s got to “make his bones” and if that means skewering somebody through a “hard hitting” piece, well, I could always look in on our then-much younger children lying in bed and “justify” such a move. (“Why shouldn’t they go to the best schools, too?“) My typewriter and an opportunity to write a freelance article for a nationally prominent conservative publication  about the MA Democratic State Issues Convention in Springfield (1987) was my “ticket,” out of Happy Valley and the guy I had an opportunity to bring down a notch or two was then-Governor Mike Dukakis. It wasn’t that I wasn’t able to put a few dings in his armor. The problem was I couldn’t bring myself anymore to get into the “politics of personal destruction” -- a term made famous by Bill and Hillary Clinton a decade later. It wasn’t even a case of trying to look more “virtuous,” or less blood-thirsty. It actually came down to a lack of appetite for giving more people more reasons to hate the political system and our authorities we elect, thus doing damage to something I’ve always loved: American politics.

This shooting was not, however politically incorrect and inconvenient it might be for some folks to learn this, a "gay issue." For somebody to say this crime required that town to figure out how to be more accepting of "gay" teens, that's no less than a blanket-slap indictment. This was a personal problem that got out of control and could continue doing so if the fans of ideological gamesmanship, villain-hunting, name-calling, blame-throwing, etc. get thrown into the mix. A relatively small issue that fell completely out of control through the shooting isn't likely to become any less in control if the ideologues on all sides decided to get into the fray.

And, this can’t be repeated often enough: Most gays wouldn't do what that boy did, nor would they even be so criminally reckless to allow their kids do so in excessively liberal communities such as mine, and many other so-called, or self-described "progressive" cities and towns. This nightmare has an entirely different subset of reasons that may not surface for some time to come.

As a writer who eventually became and joyfully remain a proud Dad three more times, my focus shifted more towards domestic issues. While I knew homosexuality would eventually take more prominence as an issue in the years to come, like many parents and other folks -- the speed and amount of attention given to homosexuality and related issues (i.e., "transgenderism") took me by surprise. So has the sickening amount of saturation of our media outlets with so much blatant sexuality and its not-so-subtle messages. How many more stories about Brittany Spears or Anna Nicole Smith must we endure, not to mention the recent attention lavished on former Gov. Spitzer's squeeze for hire?

Now that I'm retired on SSDI, one of my dreams is to (still-?-eventually) make it as a syndicated writer, columnist, blogger -- whatever avenue, and getting back to concentrating on matters ranging from religious issues all the way to the environment etc. BUT, right now, it appears as if there's still much -- too much -- ground still left to cover when it comes to what we need to do when it comes to preserving the most basic moral clarity and sanity of the greatest, highest and only, species God created. Individual human beings. Not nations, not empires, not political movements. If we do't have a nation of people willing to go with and get along with others, making arguments for or against certain nuclear policies will completely miss the point: a nation on the verge of social disingegration is nothing less than a near empty container of gasoline placed by an open fire. 

Who doesn't want to save nature, stop Global Warming, prevent the poaching of exotic birds and the extinction of polar bears? But who wants to be in the first generation blinded by a false set of values shaped by a radically unbalanced PC agenda thus risking a total global meltdown of our entire moral system based upon even the barest cement basement floor of the Natural Law? And who wouldn’t want to stand up to this nonsense which hurts everybody when the opportunity to take a stand presents itself?

"Want" implies a certain eagerness, a gung-ho, almost jingoistic sp ir it. That's not what I meant. When the opportunities to take a stand on behalf of what we know is right, let's be thankful for them and make the best of these times. When will some of our most enlightened minds understand that all our efforts to preserve Nature will only be in vain if we allow mankind across the globe in sufficient numbers to sink into jungle law? Who'll then be able to preserve Nature when the inmates are allowed to run the asylum we will have created by then?

If only our leading intellectuals and writers were even half as interested in saving our kids from the additional heat they’ll be feeling living in a future dominated solely law by a morally relativistic law of the jungle enforced just as surely by pistols, rifles and God knows what else. One would think with all the recent shootings on college and high school campuses this message would’ve sunk in by now. This is an inconvenient truth few of our tenured folks even want to touch. Instead we have people on one side telling us we should sit down and use these tragedies as opportunities for learning how to become more accepting of homosexual youths; and on the other side of the ideological divide, we have people (with lobbyists and well-greased pols in high places) pushing bills that’d allow more people to own and carry concealed handguns.

If these intellectual lights were really concerned with saving the world, they'd be far more alarmed to see how fast all their efforts will be washed into the seas if we continue trading God's Laws, Natural Law and just plain human decency for unmitigated moral relativism or a Social Darwinist outlook on law and order hatched up by the National Rifle Association at one extreme or the ACLU on the other.

We must never forget that God created us last; not because He "wanted to save the best for last." Sadly that’s been twisted by people taking the Bible more than a bit too seriously and literally to justify whatever expedient means we can take to “get ahead” of the next guy or gal. Or for that matter, “prosper” as some Christians are wont to describe our “God given” rights as Bible Christian human beings.

Our place in this world according to God’s Plan has been taught, reminded to us in the Long Gospel every Palm Sunday, and in a countless other ways and times -- but we still miss this point. So we continue running on our fears, vanities, prejudices, and worst of all, our pride-laden excuses. Please forgive me: I never intended for this post to be so long. And, I can understand where somebody might think I'm trying to be a show off. Fair enough, and I certainly won't take it as a sucker punch. In the writing business, you'd better have on hand a symbolic piece of cold steak, ibuprophen, and tough hide. On the other hand, and this is for real, you’ll fare well if to expect having a battle-hardened mind matched by an equally softened heart.

My years as a husband and father first, then as a writer, even a primarily local western Mass. reporter/writer, left me convinced beyond all removable doubts that you've GOT to have and use a large reservoir of tears, preferably before, and after, you've covered something dealing with issues that can rip right through a person's heart, soul and mind with the force of a soldier's bayonet. (This includes economics, too. Far too many people in places of great responsibility haven't a clue as to what a foreclosure, job loss, health-related economic catastrophe or costly lawsuit, etc., can do to the stability of family life these days. For those who should know better, perhaps those hailing from homes that broke up due to economic pressures, pray for and forgive them as Jesus would. But they should be reminded as well what their "healed" (read: hardened) scars have taken from them over the years.

This issue has indeed shaken me as it should because it's a necessary wake up call. Thanks Kim. There are so many "bigger issues" out there, war, peace, saving the icebergs, but nothing so big as making sure that nothing should ever touch the heads of Jesus' little ones. Let's be far less worried about being left behind any "rapture" than for so many more of us having to wear millstones because we didn't stand up for what's right, protect the most poorly informed and impressionable young, (even from themselves, and that includes strong instructions and examples given by not only their parents, but all adults they come into contact with.)

Our priest pedophile/episcopal coverup scandals revealed the worst elements that wormed through the Church. On the other hand, it also emboldened me, and I'm confident many others as well, to say, "Wait a second...those were evil men coddled by complacently as well as morally complacent superiors ... they were NOT the teachings of our Catholic Truths, nor truly representative of what She stands for. Of all the "worst" times anyone could revert to or join the CC, this was it, especially in Massachusetts, the very geographical nadir and ground zero for most of its worst. That's when the tide began to turn, just as it did for Britain when the Germans were pounding London during the Blitz.

Some of us can create and stick focused to building a "niche" in life and do good for the Lord, their families, employers, communities, and country. God Bless their fortune. Some of us, actually the vast majority of us have to obtain a good set of sea-legs and be able to roll with the waves life gives us over time. But I wouldn't be truthful if I held back from saying this was one issue I wish was avoidable, and left it to another person with better skills to express truth to mockeries against the very basis of what constitutes human behavior. I haven't a doubt in the world that there aren't better qualified and more talented writers. Not a doubt. A more nagging question would be hitting me later: why didn't I take a stand, and encourage others to do likewise. Not just for this incident, but sadly and surely others like this that'll occur again.

Sounds contradictory? At first, yes. But if just a few more of us pitched in, and spoke the truth to this issue -- that's it's not a matter of acceptance of homosexuality -- or other significant moral differences -- It all comes down to this:

The acceptance of God’s Commandments, sanctity of human life, respect for all of God’s work of Creation, Natural Law, the laws of our country, states, communities, and the rejection of violence for its own lawless sake. We don’t have to sin and make more attempts to excuse it in the name of “peace-making” and “conflict-resolution,” much less ‘closure.”

(Closure in that California town? When … ?) Evangelical Christians have an expression that often strikes me as trite, “Know God, Know Peace/No God, No Peace.” However trite, it’ll sure do all of us--at all ages--a lot of good to keep in mind before we find ourselves tempted to throw a few sucker punches, or worse: reach for our guns.

Last edited on Mon Mar 31st, 2008 06:05 am by Steven Barrett