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dboy4882
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Posted: Mon Nov 20th, 2006 06:34 pm |
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Dear Everyone,
I've posted this message before but I feel I need some encouragement. Please bear with me .
I was raised (nominally at times) Catholic. I left the Church in High School. By the time I was finishing college I was married and attending a Baptist church. I'm currently attending a non-denominational church.
Over the last year I've become (sometimes shamefully) that the Church I rejected in my ignorance is indeed true. It has been a humbling and difficult expirence.
Currently I'm still attending the non-denominational church, but it's become more and more difficult to sit through the sermons.
My rearch started in response to my concern that my family was "saved." Trying to be intellectually honest, I decided that I needed to learn more about Catholicism and how they viewed slavation. The more I read, the more I realized how intelligent, how insightfull, the Catholic position was. I did not go out of my way to communicate my discoveries to my wife because, early on, they didn't seem important. As time went on, however, I became scared. Catholic theology actually made sense. More then that, it was true.
Fear did not help me share my journey. Fighting in internal battle, sometimes ignoring my Catholic books, other times relishing in them, I finally have come to the conclusion that I need to come home.
There is only one problem: I have bearly communicated my feelings to my wife. I have not been deceptive, she knows I'm reading a lot of Catholic books, she knows I'm re-evaluating a lost of my theology, but I have not told her my thoughts per se.
Every time I think I'm close to tell her - I loose my nerve. I've talked to priest and he suggested we both take a faith class for investigators (no obligation - just to learn). As the time grew closer to the class, my anxiety grew and grew. I had to tell her. But I chickened out.
I'm ashamed of myself and I don't know what to do. I don't normally have a problem with communication like this. I don't know how to handle it.
I'd appreciate any suggestions you may have.
Sincerely,
Daniel
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BodRod
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 840 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Mon Nov 20th, 2006 10:00 pm |
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Hi Daniel,
<<I'm ashamed of myself and I don't know what to do.>>
No need to feel ashamed. You obviously value the opinion your wife has of you and her judgement as well. I think some of that is good in any marriage. I think it helps to kind of feel your way along when one is making major changes in their life style.
I used to break out in the sweats whenever anything came up in my conversations with my wife about my joining the Church. My wife used to throw HUGE fits about my membership in the Church. One day I got her to sit and listen to the beliefs of the Church and to tell me exactly the ones to which she objects. We went over all the points of the Nicene Creed line by line. She did not object to a single point. She still has no interest in joining the Church but life is a lot more calm around here since then. Of late, she has met several people from the Church as we go around town. She seems to be able to take such situations in stride now and has even started asking a few questions about the Church.
In my opinion, becoming Catholic does not stop by just changing which church you attend on Sunday. Being Catholic involves a change in life style. It involves how you react to and treat those around you. For example, since I have joined the Church, I occasionally catch my wife looking strangely at me when something happens while we are traveling along a road and I no longer offer a sudden and loud verbal critique on the driving characteristics of those around me. I think that being a Catholic is an everyday, all day life style. One positive side effect of the changes I am making is that it helps me keep my time in the Reconciliation booth a lot shorter!!!
I wish you all the best in your Journey.
Last edited on Mon Nov 20th, 2006 10:02 pm by BodRod
____________________
Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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JillD
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 949 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
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Posted: Mon Nov 20th, 2006 10:51 pm |
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Hi Daniel and Welcome! I'm on the journey to the Catholic Church and though my husband and family know, others are learning slowly and only as the need arises. Well, I take that back. I did just recently post it on my xanga blog. Is that the chicken's way out or what!? It is scary because people's reactions can be so explosive. I told one gal today that I don't know real well (it came up in conversation as I could tell she was beginning to load for bear on the Catholic Church and I thought I'd tell her before she felt she'd put her foot in her mouth...) and after I told her I felt this adrenaline rush like a fight or flight response! Fortunately, her response was simply raised eyebrows, but I know she'll choose her words carefully. She's a former Catholic, now Assembly of God. I think once she absorbs what I told her, we might have some interesting conversations in the future.
Anyway, I do remember hesitating to tell my husband for a long while, though like you, he saw what I was reading and writing on web sites. Eventually, it just popped out in a natural way. It had to! So far, he's OK with what I'm doing which is a big relief.
Much of the other things you had to say are so like my experience, too. You're hardly alone!
____________________
"I praise you, for I am wondrously made. Wonderful are our works! My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret." Ps 139
"Guard me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men." Ps 140
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BodRod
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 840 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Tue Nov 21st, 2006 12:01 am |
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Hi JillD,
I found on my Journey into the Church that the people, with whom I had discussed my travel, did not object to the beliefs of the Catholic Church but rather objected to my joining the Church. It was like the belonging was more significant than the believing. Did you experience any of that?
____________________
Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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David W. Emery
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Brownsville, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 2410 |
| First Name: | David | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Nov 21st, 2006 12:27 am |
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It was like the belonging was more significant than the believing. Did you experience any of that?
Yes, BodRod, this was exactly my experience. I was allowed to have my opinion so long as I did not act on it. The moment I acted on it, the war began. Why? Because so long as I did nothing, I was non-threatening and could be ignored.
David
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JillD
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 949 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
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Posted: Tue Nov 21st, 2006 01:19 am |
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Not too many people in my world know yet, so I haven’t run into opposition. Yet... There are friends, closer than the gal today, whom I haven’t told yet because, I too, am sort of chicken. If it needs to come up, I won’t hide it, but it’s been easier to simply not mention it. Especially if it’s going to make me feel so defensive without meaning to, I’d rather wait.
____________________
"I praise you, for I am wondrously made. Wonderful are our works! My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret." Ps 139
"Guard me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men." Ps 140
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BodRod
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 840 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Tue Nov 21st, 2006 10:48 am |
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David W. Emery wrote: [size=Because so long as I did nothing, I was non-threatening and could be ignored.
I think you hit the nail on the head! My wife was horrified that I had joined the Church. We had both been taught from childhood that someday Catholics would start another dark ages and go around killing people who did not accept their point of view. So, naturally, she thought that someday I would be helping burn people at the stake, etc.
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Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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SBC2RCC
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | York, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 136 |
| First Name: | Monte | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | was Southern Baptist Minister, now Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Nov 21st, 2006 09:05 pm |
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Belonging or believing, problem?
Yes indeed! As a pastor who considered myself a theologian even, I read alot, and this did not cause aproblem. Even attending Catholic Mass was allowed, because I was always involved in ecumenical activities. But when I announced that I was going to join the Roman Catholic Church, ...kaboom! Soon this affected my marriage and lead to a separation now. There was serious trouble in the marriage before, but my wife stayed because a Baptist pastor who is divorced is a scandal. I am so thankful that few people face this level of conflict.
From relatives there has been the typical comment, "He should stay a Baptist, that is what he is supposed to be."
Still, in the end, we pray and practice our faith as Catholics, and hopefuly some will say, "he, (or she) is not that bad, for a Catholic."
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In Christ,
Monte W
(Formerly on CHN Forum as "Pilgrim Paul"
Minima Maxima Sunt
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