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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Sun Aug 3rd, 2008 07:01 pm |
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Boy this converting business gets hard sometimes. I was brought up in
what was considered a high church Anglican church. ( a visitor would
not know that they weren't in a Catholic church) When i lived overseas
I usually attended Catholic Churches. When I came to the States I
attended the Episcopal churhc but never really settled in- I just
didn't know that i could become Catholic. After i married and my kids
got older it got a little easier but we were always a littel outside of
the fold. Anyhow my in- laws are Southern Baptist and through out our
whole marriage they have been pressuring us to become SB like the
other inlaws did. I started reading apologetics to try to defend my
(then) liturgically based church and to correct all kinds of (to be
kind)"misconceptions" of the Catholic church becuase even though I
wasn't Catholic that is where my comfort and religious formation was.
Anyhow I learned that there was a way to become Catholic but couldn't
find a way to do it without disrupting my family's life. The recent and
ongoing mess in the Anglican/Episcopal church mess eventually hit our
little town and our church split into the Episcopal church and a new
church calling them selves Anglican and under oversite of a Bshop in
Africa. Tha was the last straw for me- I found a way out and started
ARCIA in 2007. Our kids were 16 and 14- the whole split shook them up
becuase people they had known and respected their whole lives were now
on opposite sides of a divide and the pressure for them to "choose" a
side was relentless. I was pressured by all my extended family to let
them choose and indeed my husband at the time also felt strongly that
the kids should choose- he has now come to regret the decision. Anyhow
the kids finally hit a crisis last Christmas and since then my husband
and kids have been attending Mass with me. My 16 year old(now 17) is
joining RCIA this summer- he is not social and the church shenanigans
completely turned him off. He feels(and I think he is right) that they
were less valued for themselves than for been two young bodies and is
hurt by the way they were dropped by people he thought were fond of
them. he used to petsit for two of the familes often and since we left
he has not been called to sit at all. Our duaghter on the other hand
was in the youth group, helped with Sunday school and in the
nUrseryetc. She has continued to go to the youth group in the original
church- she went once to the new group's youth but was turned off by
the leader and the tone of the meetings. She has had more of a struggle
to fit into our Catholic parish- the music is not good( unfortuantely
she is right there, 1/2 the time the microphone is squealing back so
loudly it is like scratching a chalkboard) etc. She asked me last night
if she could spend the night at a friends and go to the Anglican church
with them. I told her yes. She then said she hoped that they would be
sincere in welcoming her and not fake- I did give her a heads up- that
if she was asked to petsit for either of the families that she would
not be allowed to do it cause of the hurt it would cause our son. She
said "Mom, if they ask me to pet sit or to acolyte or anything I will
be disapointed cause it will mean that they don't want ME they just
want a body" I have to work at my nursing job today so i won;t behome
when she gets home and I don't even know what to pray for.
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tedjenczewski
Member
| Joined: | Thu May 10th, 2007 |
| Location: | Richmond, Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 345 |
| First Name: | Ted | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Presbyterian, revert Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Aug 4th, 2008 03:53 am |
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| God bless you and your family Kim. You will be remembered in my prayers this evening.
____________________
"...the church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth." 1Tim 3, 15
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1423 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Aug 4th, 2008 04:00 am |
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Kim, do you have any relatives or in-laws who are Catholic?
Any close friends who are Catholic?
Becky
____________________
Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials. . .the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life. . . NAB James 1:2-4,12
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setapart
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 13th, 2007 |
| Location: | Austin, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 266 |
| First Name: | Bill | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Born Catholic, Non-Denominational Charismatic, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Aug 4th, 2008 04:47 am |
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Kim,
Your concern for your family is valid. What may be important right now is staying true to your convictions concerning your call to the CC especially if your husband is going to Mass with you.
Here is a quote from St. Elizabeth Seton:
"Faith lifts the staggering soul on one side, Hope supports it on the other. Experience says it must be, and love says - let it be."
This was in relation to her praying for God's strength to want only His will in the midst of difficult circumstances. What she stived for was to grow in love for God above all else, being based on her knowledge of the infinite love that God had for her.
Your children might at this time see YOU stay strong in God's grace in order to help them have a firmer foundation to form their own decisions. This is especailly the case where they have experienced the disapointment of church splits. Although the music may not be the greatest, what is most important is the example that you set in staying with your own convictions.
May God pour out His blessings and peace upon your family.
YBIC,
Bill
____________________
But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture. Mal 4:2
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Mon Aug 4th, 2008 05:26 pm |
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Kim, do you have any relatives or in-laws who are Catholic?
Any close friends who are Catholic
NOT HARDLY! My in-laws are Southern Baptist and my side of the family are lapsed Anglicans turned secularist and new age. My conversion wasn't met with shouts of joy by either side! I do have some friends however, one in particular also deals with a child with autism. She has been a great support to me.
Your children might at this time see YOU stay strong in God's grace in order to help them have a firmer foundation to form their own decisions. This is especially the case where they have experienced the disappointment of church splits. Although the music may not be the greatest, what is most important is the example that you set in staying with your own convictions
Believe me I have no intentions of leaving the Catholic church. My conversion was so easy though- I was allowed to join the last 6 weeks of the RCIA program in progress- though I had done a lot of reading before ever contacting the church, I had been validly baptized and we had no previous marriage issues to deal with. Our kids could have gone through then too but at the time they weren't ready. Now my son will take RCIA this year but unless our daughter gets her head together early into the session it will be another year for her. She has youth group on Sundays during the RCIA period. As for the music I can live with it but of course I don't have headphones grafted to the side of my head.
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3John4
Member
| Joined: | Tue Feb 13th, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 102 |
| First Name: | Dede | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, Protestant, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Aug 4th, 2008 05:56 pm |
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Kim,
Just curious, where is your husband in all this?
Dede
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1423 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
| Status: |
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Posted: Mon Aug 4th, 2008 06:43 pm |
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Intercessor wrote:
Kim, do you have any relatives or in-laws who are Catholic?
Any close friends who are Catholic
kimdyuma wrote:
NOT HARDLY! My in-laws are Southern Baptist and my side of the family are lapsed Anglicans turned secularist and new age. My conversion wasn't met with shouts of joy by either side! I do have some friends however, one in particular also deals with a child with autism. She has been a great support to me.
I was clear on your husband and kids and your husband's family but couldn't remember whether there was anybody at all to support you. I'm glad you at least have the close Catholic friend.
Having a network of Catholic friends has been so important for me. I know you put a great deal of time and love into preparing meals for your family and caring for them, but maybe you could find some Catholic groups to join to help make up for the missing support/fellowship from family. Is that a possibility in your area?
Remembering you in my prayers,
Becky
____________________
Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials. . .the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life. . . NAB James 1:2-4,12
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
| Status: |
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Posted: Tue Aug 5th, 2008 12:43 am |
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Just curious, where is your husband in all this? Actually,he is kind of at a loss over the whole business- Until we married he had never been to a liturgical service. He has always supported me in bringing the kids up Anglcan, doing his best to defend this chioice to his family. He actually is  happy to have us going to a Catholic church becuase he feels that it is an oasis of worship vs. "entertainment" which is what he has called his family's church. As far as our daughter goes he too is at a loss on the best way to deal with the situation.
My friend is great, she is someone that I can discuss issues with etc.
Last edited on Tue Aug 5th, 2008 12:45 am by sewnsew
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setapart
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 13th, 2007 |
| Location: | Austin, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 266 |
| First Name: | Bill | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Born Catholic, Non-Denominational Charismatic, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Aug 5th, 2008 02:45 am |
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Kim,
I will pray for you and your family tonight. Thank you for being so open and honest. You are a true disciple.
YBIC,
Bill
____________________
But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture. Mal 4:2
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Steven Barrett
Member
| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 1398 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Aug 5th, 2008 09:28 pm |
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Kim,
YOu are indeed a pioneer travelling between two different worlds trying to pull both all the ends together, and never knowing when the next wave of sincere inlaw-evangelization or friendly evangelization from SB's will come. Any chance that somebody invented a Southern Baptist Air Raid Siren? Here they come with their big Application Bibles (the big thick ones) and ready to open the bomb bay doors?
(Getting friendly calls from pesky SBs is better than getting visited by JW's and we've been seeing thousands of those folks here since they've started using the UMass basketball arena for their weekly weekend summer meetings. (Good thing they don't use the world's tallest library at 28 stories. Makes for a real great watchtower.)
One thing I've noticed about weekend a.m. prayer groups with Baptists, and I really don't mean to be overly critical because they mean well, is that when you're really not up to going that morning, uh, something you and your spouse have in mind might be more urgent, a place to visit, or just need time for yourself -- uh huh, even if Billy Graham himself dropped by, you're still expected so long as you're not under the weather.
And if you show any wariness about their theological views, practices and mention them as to why you'd like to hold off on visiting their churches, etc., well get ready for a "welcoming" theological truth squad to help you the individual make up your mind for you. "Why, we've invested so much time and ... and ... and ... "
"Why would you want to go through all that li-turg y (with an emphasis placed on the turg sound as a hint for what they really think of Catholic/Anglican or any real "old time" service that's actually based on Biblical and historical foundations, not what the latest Rev and his "Worship team" wants it to "reflect" in order to enhance everyone's "experiences." 
Hate loud music? Chuck the earphones! Become "More Biblical" and be like Jesus in the Temple with a big stick, preferably a 2 x 4 and start with the speakers. But a warning: this "worship team" stuff is getting around everywhere, including a synagogue shown on Religion and Ethi cs weekly last Sunday (PBS) -- and this was no modernistic Reform-looking Synagogue. It was fancy and well constructed/designed. Now the Jews? Where's Tevye when we ALL need him!
At least THIS pope's not taking prisoners when it comes to good taste. JP didn't at first e ither, but as he grew older and more infirmed, the church mice on liturgical committees went to town. 
____________________
James Michael Curley to a young Thomas “Tip” O’Neill -- “Son, it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
| Status: |
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Posted: Wed Aug 6th, 2008 11:32 pm |
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I will say this: if you have any ideas at all that you and your spouse might be seriously headed to Rome and you have kids still in the home DO IT before they become teens! Of course we all know that hindsight is 20/20!
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Steven Barrett
Member
| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 1398 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Aug 7th, 2008 02:26 am |
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 When the "littlest" is taller than you are, and he's 17 years old, heading into his final h.s. year, and the older three are out and I guess "comfortably Christian" (yeah, I know, very low-church Protestant aka laid-back northern baptist -- but ARE believers) -- mom and dad don't have to "worry about what their self-created 'neighbors' will say."
Teenagers can be THE most intractably and habitually conservative people on the face of the earth, hands down. It even happens to evangelical Protestants as I saw on ABC's Nightline one night last Spring when Martin Bashir hosted a show about some San Antonio pastor's very, very, very unorthodox view about approaching the "S-word" or good ol' fashioned SEX in his Sunday "message." (Of course, no post-post-modern and up-to-date megachurchianity preacher man would dare use that other "S WORD, " sermon.) 'Ol Pastor Whasssisname and Mrs. Pastor Whasssername get up and tell all those married folks how to liven up their marriages. No arguments from the old geezers over 40 who are just starting to catch their breath for a brief moment or two in between schlepping their already produced evidence of marital bliss. The middle agers love it and take it all in and feel so lovey-dovey in love again as they DAMN WELL SHOULD AND DESERVE TO ; HEAR THAT KIDS!!!!!
Well, the story shifted to the kids and did the rollin' eyes and "I/we don't know these people" treatment begin. and a few of these  thrown in for good measure. But when it dawned on them that Mom n' Pop would have a stronger marriage and they'd have a more secure home, not to mention an inheritance going to them instead of Texas Size Lonely Star Deeevorce Attys, they're more than happy to see their parents relearn the birds n' bees, even "at church" though they'll never admit it nor admit to having THOSE kind of parents who go to that particular "Sunday Service."
("Psssst ... Couldn't you pick up the "message" on disk or tape instead of being seen there?" ISN'T an unreasonable question. Even teens, however, curiously "conservative" in some ways, have a right to some demonstration of parental dignity.)
After all of that, all of your love, endless hours of sleepless nights, pouts, shouts, booboos, hours spent in ERs, they won't let you exercise your First Amendment Rights as Catholics, and your FIRST RIGHTS: PERIOD!!! AS THE COUPLE WHO BROUGHT 'EM INTO THE WORLD, NO LESS -- and before you know it, it's time for wedding bell$$$$$ and grandkids. And wait'll you see the HURT, etc    looks in THEIR eyes when you tell 'em, "OH, well be happy to take the grandchildren for a while ... BUT THEY'RE YOURS. That might mortify 'em more than hearing their parents gush about some preacher teaching them how to liven up the bedroom. (One of the best things about being Catholic. Even the few married priests wouldn't go there,  never mind what their bishops would do to them. Wives and local nuns get first Crrrracks.)
By this time, they've already broken you in with dropped off their pets, esp. a cat or robust dog you've also fallen in love with so you'll be mush by the time they provide you with two-legged animals owning many of the same traits yours had, plus somebody else's family traits, to deal with -- and always at the last minute, esp. when a "crisis mode" schtick has been perfected to such degree it'd be such a delightful sight to the sore eyes of any overworked Broadway director.
AND WE SHOULD WORRY WHAT OUR TEENS AND OLDER KIDS THINK ABOUT US LOSING OUT MINDS FOR CROSSING THE TIBER? PIECE O' CANOLI!
After all, one day my oldest said "Dad, I never thought you were crazy for wanting to go back to the Catholic Church...I always thought you were crazy."
But I had the last laugh when I reminded him he was baptised Catholic. Even he couldn't resist returning a big . Touche'.
As another "if we weren't all crazy we'd all be insane Catholic" Jimmy Buffett would put it, "another day in paradise."
Last edited on Thu Aug 7th, 2008 03:54 am by Steven Barrett
____________________
James Michael Curley to a young Thomas “Tip” O’Neill -- “Son, it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”
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