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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Fri Aug 15th, 2008 02:24 pm |
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| As many of you know our kids left our old church 8 months ago. Up until they left they used to do a fair amount of pet sitting for two of the families- it was always phrased" could one of the kids pet sit these dates?" Well about 4 or five months ago I asked my husband who he thougfht was petsitting- he shrugged and said good question. Two weekends ago our DD spent the night at a good friend's house and went with them to church. Before she went she said "I hope that they are all sincere when they see me"- keep in mind these people have known my kids all their lives. I then said you do realize H**** that if you are asked to pet sit your dad and I will tell you to turn it down. She just said "oh I really hope that they don't- I will be so disapointed if they do." Yeah well I just got an eamil telling me that they missed us all ESPECIALLY the kids and coul our duaghter ( not our kids you notice) pet sit in a few weeks? To tell you the truth I am as hurt as the kids
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1540 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Fri Aug 15th, 2008 02:35 pm |
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Kim, I haven't had enough coffee yet this morning!  I don't understand, did you want the former friends to not offer your daughter her former job? They may be attempting to maintain a relationship on a small level. Maybe I don't understand everything that has gone on. Were your daughter's feelings hurt?
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Fri Aug 15th, 2008 02:46 pm |
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| Because we haven't heard one word from them in 8 months even after I emailed congratulating them on having a new grandchild. And becuase WHO has been sitting for them the last 8 months- NOT my kids- surely if it "was such a relief to know that they had reliable pet sitters"BEFORE they left the church shouldn't they have been just as reliable in the last 8 months too? I happen to know that they have spent considerable amounts of time out of town in those last 8 months ( we live in a small comunity)
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ChildofGod
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jul 12th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 192 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Evangelical Christian |
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Posted: Fri Aug 15th, 2008 03:39 pm |
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Kim,
There is a lesson for you to learn in all of this. It is the love of Jesus Christ Himself. What good is it if we only love those who practice kindness toward us, or express how much they appreciate us? The calling for each of us as Christians is to love those who don't show love toward us, but rather, are rude, dismissive, unkind, nasty and downright hateful.
This kind of love, that our Heavenly Father teaches us is other-worldly - not of this world but of God. He has given each of us the ability to love in this manner.
I will pray and ask our Lord Jesus to help you to love these folks with His love. It is this kind of love that bears fruit for the Kingdom of God.
"Little children, let us not love in word and speech, but in deed and in truth." St. John
Darlene
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Fri Aug 15th, 2008 04:06 pm |
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| I would be very happy to love them- I just think it smacks a little of bribery to offer the one child the job IMMEDIATELY after she makes her first visit in 8 months back to the church. To be honest had this job offer come after a month or so since the visit and had the question been posed for either child as it has been in the past I would have had no problems with it and would have hoped that it was them getting over hurt feeligs over our leaving their church ( or in my case not even joining in the first place since I started RCIA a week before they split)
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Fri Aug 15th, 2008 04:09 pm |
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| We are not refusing permission as a punishment or to hurt their feelings but more to protect our kids from being pawns. If I had my way I would politley refuse without even telling the kids but I feel that we need to be honest.
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1540 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Fri Aug 15th, 2008 11:39 pm |
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| Now I understand a little more. I do agree with Darlene that this is the kind of love we are called to give, and giving love to those who are unkind, or even attack us behind our backs, is what Christ meant. However, you do have to be careful when your children are this involved. You don't want your son to be excluded just because he no longer visits the church when his sister does. And you don't want your daughter to be used by people who may try to persuade her against your decisions. My question now is, these people have been so vindictive to you in the past, why do you care what they do? They have made so many snide remarks that really were out of line. I would cut all ties with them if they are going to prey on your children that way. If you hesitate to disrupt a friendship between their daughter and yours, have a firm, serious talk with the mother and let her know what the boundaries are. Easy for me to say, huh?! But she will either value your friendship and honor what you say, or she will disregard it and show that you can't trust her with your daughter.
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Tue Aug 19th, 2008 03:54 am |
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My question now is, these people have been so vindictive to you in the past, why do you care what they do? They have made so many snide remarks that really were out of line. I would cut all ties with them if they are going to prey on your children that way. If you hesitate to disrupt a friendship between their daughter and yours, have a firm, serious talk with the mother and let her know what the boundaries are. I need to correct something here- the family that my DD spent the night with IS NOT the same family that asked about the pet sitting- family with the daughter has been great. Unfortunately though my DD has decided that she wants to go back to the old church so my husband and I talked it over- he is against it but I feel that we have to let her go and so he has agreed to let her go back. I feel that she need to learn for herself how to judge sincerity though we are in agreement - no pet sitting. I would love to completely cut ties and have my whole immediate family become Catholic but obviously I am learning to leave it in God's hands. What a hard lesson...
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1540 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Aug 19th, 2008 04:01 pm |
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| Is your daughter going back to the old church to be with her friends ( a valid reason for a teenager) or because she chooses their theology over the catholic church? It is sounding as if the new catholic parish is not reaching out to her sufficiently, allowing her to make new friends. Do they have an active youth group? If she is not around, will it be more difficult for your son to make himself comfortable? How did the tuition problem get resolved BTW? Ours is a disaster at the moment.
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Tue Aug 19th, 2008 09:34 pm |
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is your daughter going back to the old church to be with her friends ( a valid reason for a teenager) or because she chooses their theology over the catholic church? It is sounding as if the new catholic parish is not reaching out to her sufficiently, allowing her to make new friends. Do they have an active youth group? If she is not around, will it be more difficult for your son to make himself comfortable? How did the tuition problem get resolved BTW? Ours is a disaster at the moment.
She is going back for friendship reasons. To be fair to our Catholic church she has been invited to the youth group etc but hasn't wanted to go. Our son on the other hand is comfortable at our new parish and is just fine with her not coming with us- he predicts that she will change her mind again. As for our tutition- overall the tution increased however so did the scholarship amolunts granted to us so that balanced out.
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1540 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Aug 20th, 2008 02:31 am |
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My grandkids don't get a scholarship. We have to pay out of pocket, and it's a strain on everyone, especially now that sil is not working. I remember I used to see a lot of Bob Jones Univ. families who paid high tuition for their kids to go to the elementary or junior high school there, and it was very obvious the families couldn't afford it. But they had their priority of putting their children in christian classrooms and I know it was worth it for them to scrimp in other areas.
I am glad to hear your son is comfortable at the catholic church. That is good news and worth a praise!
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lgreen
Member
| Joined: | Fri Aug 22nd, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3 |
| First Name: | Lara | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | catholic church |
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Posted: Fri Aug 22nd, 2008 10:52 pm |
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ChildofGod wrote: Kim,
There is a lesson for you to learn in all of this. It is the love of Jesus Christ Himself. What good is it if we only love those who practice kindness toward us, or express how much they appreciate us? The calling for each of us as Christians is to love those who don't show love toward us, but rather, are rude, dismissive, unkind, nasty and downright hateful.
This kind of love, that our Heavenly Father teaches us is other-worldly - not of this world but of God. He has given each of us the ability to love in this manner.
I will pray and ask our Lord Jesus to help you to love these folks with His love. It is this kind of love that bears fruit for the Kingdom of God.
"Little children, let us not love in word and speech, but in deed and in truth." St. John
Darlene
hello all,
I want to thank you for the reminder, love one and all! The kind of forgiveness that is very hard to remember and put in to our daily lives, for sure.
Keep the faith and all will be well, if we truly love with our hearts.
____________________
quality gold......christian jewelry
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
| Status: |
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Posted: Wed Sep 17th, 2008 05:12 pm |
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The latest in this continuing saga: Our DD has now attended 3 services at the old church and suddenly I am getting emails from them again, also people have made sure to tell me when they see me "how happy they asre to see us thinking about coming back" Thinking about it?? NOT LIKELY. This next is kind of funny, a fellow Realtor who works for another company works goes to the church- normally if we passed we would wave and nod but really that about it for various reasons not church related we are far far from being anything more than casual colleagues saw me in a parking lot- I waved as usual - she actually backed her car up several yards to stop and chat about how great I was looking ( no miraculous body makeoever there folks, I still need to lose weight...uhm I haven't gotten 5 years younger so  ), how nice it was to see me and how are things going?-"Well actually things are no different from they way they were at the last continuing ed class we took together 2 months ago, when we nodded and said good morning " I am not sure whether to laugh or be miffed at this sudden lovefest.
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