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Darlene
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 868 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Christian, trusting His love and forgiveness |
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Posted: Thu Apr 19th, 2007 01:19 am |
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Dear CHN Family,
It seems this journey of faith is in flux, continually in motion, meandering around twists and turns of which I am continually in awe. While I am in awe, I cannot help but wonder where God will lead. In alone moments, I ponder as to what the Lord Jesus will ask of me next. In the midst of this journey, I plead with Jesus to always lead me into His truth. "Do not let me be led astray." As it says in Proverbs 3:6: "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."
As many of you know, my husband has recently had a set back in his health. Due to temporal arteritis, he has lost vision in his left eye substantially. As a result, he has been doing a spiritual inventory of his life, so to speak. He has come to the conclusion that the Lord is showing him he needs to employ his gift of evangelization. At one time, I would have been elated, but now I am reserved. In times past, I would evangelize on streets corners with him, but this time I am not even the least bit interested. It is not for lack of caring for sinners, or for disinterest in the gospel that I am hesitant. Rather, it is because my understanding of salvation and my whole outlook on reaching people for Jesus Christ has changed. How can two walk together unless they agree? How can I evangelize with my husband when I no longer see salvation through "Protestant" eyes? And how can I participate in dissuading Catholics from their faith, should I encounter them? I cannot!
Last night I pursued a conversation with my husband in which I ended up becoming overly zealous for the Catholic faith. Part of my concern is that a close friend of ours, who is a former Catholic and very much against his Catholic upbringing, has been doing his best to help equip my husband to argue against my faith journey. At one point my husband said to me, "I think we should end this conversation. I don't like the spirit in which we are talking." And he was right. I tried too hard to convince him about the Real Presence in the Eucharist and it probably ended up doing more harm than good. Afterward, I felt angry and frustrated that he refused to even consider anything that I was saying. At one point he said something to the effect that things would only get worse between us if I continued pursuing Catholicism.
It seems that as soon as I think my husband is getting closer to letting his guard down, closer to examining the Catholic faith, I am thrust back into the reality of how very difficult it is for a Fundamentlist Evangelical to grasp the Catholic faith. There are walls and walls of prejudice that have been built over the years. Tearing down those walls, one by one, is something that cannot be hurried. Sometimes I just want to take a powerful grenade to those walls and watch them topple. But that is me in my human strength, which may only result in him barricading himself in even more.
This morning I awoke to a voice within me saying, "Lord, to whom shall I go? You have the words of eternal and I have believed and come to know that You are the holy one of God." Those words sounded so familiar to me. I asked myself, "Could those be the words of Peter recorded at the end of John 6?" Sure enough, I paged through my Bible and there they were, right at the end of the 6th chapter of John. I knew then that the Holy Spirit had spoken those words to me. He wanted to assure me of the Real Presence in the Eucharist. Jesus is there, body, blood, soul and divinity. And Peter exclaimed his devotion to Jesus after so many left because they could not accept this hard saying. I thought back to the previous night's conversation and how my husband was unable to accept this truth. It is so much easier to comprehend it as a symbol. Our minds and intellect alone are incapable of receiving the mysteries of our Christian faith. I pray that the grace of God will be given to my husband to receive this hard saying.
There are times when this journey toward the Catholic Church seems so very lonesome. It isn't enough that my Protestant brethren can even consider Catholics as fellow members in the body of Christ. Rather, they desire to see them deny their Catholic faith altogether. I can no longer participate in this judgmental, prejudiced attitude. And while I love my Evangelical brothers and sisters, I am burdened with sadness for them. I desire that they know the fullness of the faith. I desire that they come to know how much more there is to the Christian faith than sola scriptura. If only they knew the beauty of the Catholic faith, they would not fight against it.
Such are the concerns of my heart. I will continue walking with Jesus my Lord on this journey. Each step of the way, He is with me. May the Lord help each of us who are on this journey toward the Catholic Church.
God Bless Each of You, my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Darlene
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The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
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BodRod
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 815 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Thu Apr 19th, 2007 10:59 am |
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Hi Darlene,
I don’t know if my situation relates to your situation or not, so I will share it with you and you can decide if it is of any help.
As you may have read from some of my past postings, I have received a lot of open hostility from my spouse over my beliefs in the RCC teachings. She is now trying to recover from her third stroke (last November) and she is realizing that she is in a struggle against not getting worse. I have stopped talking about the teachings of the Church but, sneak that I am, have instead mentioned, on occasion, that James has asked how she was doing, or Joe wishes her well, or Roberta is praying for her recovery, etc. While she has never expressed her thanks for their concern and prayers, there has been a definite softening of the wall and I have even had the opportunity of fielding a question or two at times.
At this point, I am thankful for any progress, no matter how small it may be. 
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Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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Truthseeker
Member
| Joined: | Wed Oct 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | Costa Mesa, California USA |
| Posts: | 393 |
| First Name: | Laura | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | lapsed and returned CATHOLIC!!!!!! |
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Posted: Thu Apr 19th, 2007 11:57 am |
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Darlene,
I know how lonely you are. I have been in the same position with my secular husband, daring to believe he may be thinking about coming to Christ in His true church during brief moments of his seeming less hostile, only to have my hopes dashed by incredibly harsh reminders of how offensive he finds my faith and religion.
I get alot of comments like: "It's just full of priests who.....little boys" and "it's misleading" (not that he knows a thing about it).
i have given up trying to teach/convince/explain/argue anything he has to say, except when he says it in front of my children and then I direct my comments at them. It is a very unhealthy faith atmosphere at my home.
All I do now, is offer every meager moment of my life for his soul, his salvation. It is another thing I have given to God- for I have no power over him.
Much love to you-
Laura
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Lord, please make my will your Will!
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BodRod
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 815 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Thu Apr 19th, 2007 12:38 pm |
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Truthseeker wrote: I get alot of comments like: "It's just full of priests who.....little boys" and "it's misleading" (not that he knows a thing about it).
I hear some of that also. If that kind of logic is appropriate then, from what I saw just this morning, we should not send our children to school. Current upper estimates for priests abusing children is 1.5% while teachers is 5%. Then there are the police, a neighbor, a scout leader etc. etc. etc. It is a people problem not an occupation problem.
BTW, if you woiuld like an eye opener try, http://www.reformation.com.
Last edited on Thu Apr 19th, 2007 02:58 pm by BodRod
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Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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brian
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Chicago South Burbs, Illinois USA |
| Posts: | 810 |
| First Name: | brian | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | methodist, evangelical, anglican, catholic |
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Posted: Thu Apr 19th, 2007 02:47 pm |
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Darlene,
My prayers are with you. A friend of mine who had left the church and was considering coming back had a similar thing happen to him. He was at an evangelical school but becoming more aware of his desire for the Catholic Church to be truth. He said he would hear in his mind sometimes as he tried to fall asleep "You do not want to leave me too?" (or some variation of this)
Which is what Jesus asked Peter in that passage you cite. He knew it was Jesus asking him to come back to the Eucharistc table.
I was just pondering today how I exactly came to believe in the real presence. I realized that it was a lot of levels. There were many seeds planted in my mind from earlier debates abot Catholicism after which I had rejected the claim. Years later at an Anglican Church and discovering that there was more to our faith than the years after the reformation that I never knew about I was exposed to a much more "catholic" sacramental view of things. So seeds were planted, but how I came to believe it I just don't know. I think it was a gift. Perhaps all we need do to receive the gift is sort of open our hearts and minds and at least start to want it to be true in some way. Then the bible verses church father quotes and the rest help us know we stand on solid ground. They help, but I think the actual ability to believe is a gift and longing granted by the Holy Spirit. The more I tried to accept it and went to adoration and mass more often and studied the more and more this belief has become a deep part of me and I can see it in scripture. TodayI was thinknig of Cana and the water into wine miracle and how it sort of shows us the idea of transforming an element. That it somehow prefigures changing wine into precious divine blood.
Anyway, I am losing focus. I just encourage you to pray that God will help you be the best winess to your husband you can possibly be. That he would notice the work of Christ in your life as you pursue Catholicism. I would say you will get better in time as I did at knowing when and how much to argue certain points. I do think there is a time and place for this. But I tink that time and place is mostly in peaceful and amicable discussions. Sharing what you learn is worth pursuing but your husband can probably only handle so much at one time and we get excited and want people to be able to take the 20 steps in one conversation it took us years to make. I often share things with my mother or girlfriend expecting them to just hear me and say "wow, I really should become Catholic." I want them to learn everything I learned in one sitting. I am learning that the Spirit's ways are at times much more patient than ours are. But over time my mother and girlfriend are both growing in interest toward the Church, and I still look for appropriate times to share what I learn, but more in the context of sharing something that I love and is relevant to me, less so than in the context of challenging them to personally believe or accept it. Yet, my brother I have been much more reluctant to challenge because I see little to show me that he is ready to take in what I would have to say without it turning into a debate.
Are debates wrong? No. Sometimes some tension is necessary. But they can go the wrong way quickly. Perhaps you are causing a good tension in your husband's mind because it is forcing him to think about some things. But perhaps he needs more space and time to let these concepts grow. I trust you will be given more wisdom in time to know when the right moments are or are not to pusruse the dialogue. It won't always be easy, and you will not be perfect. Try to be cautious and hope you are given wisdom to know what to pursue and when to stop and how to handle the emotions involved.
My point above was not that the arguments and apologetics are a waste of time. They are important for faith does come by hearing...but without a softening in his heart to at least a little bit want these things to be true the facts will only penetrate so deep. Maybe the arguments will help him realize he should at least consider the real presence until a later time when he realizes how wonderful it would be to accept this teaching rather than the pride of wanting to feel justified that he is right and the Catholic Church is wrong. Really, I do not know how these things happen, but I believe in prayer more than any other thing or argument we have recourse to.
Don't give up these conversations, just try to stop them as soon as they need to stop, and to keep them as good as you can, and learn the timing of when and when not to bring it up. Aside from this try to be confident in the Lord, to not worry (seems impossible I know), and to live in love at all times and all situations.
I only hope those your husband tries to evangelize will be people who need to hear the voice of Jesus calling them. I trust God can use your husbands desire for good, though I too fear the effect this may have on lapsed Catholics. Still I would rather they accept the gosepl from somebody and hopefully return to the Church later than not accept it at all. Perhaps God will send some Catholics who can actually defend their faith to challenge your husband. I at least wish those who evangelize Catholics would learn how to show them how to find the gospel in their own church. We do after all believe n being saved by grace through faith. That might mean slightly different things to us than to him but it is a fact many nominal Catholics need to appreciate. I think Billy Graham himself did not believe in trying to get Catholics to leave the church but would agree to send Catholic converts back to the Catholic Church. So I just hope that your husband in time would learn to help Catholics find the gospel within what the catholic church teaches.
Anyway, I am probably not telling you anything you do not know, and sorry if I appear to not fully appreciate the difficulty of your situation. You are in our prayers.
Brian
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SBC2RCC
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | York, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 130 |
| First Name: | Monte | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | was Southern Baptist Minister, now Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Apr 19th, 2007 07:48 pm |
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Dear Darlene,
Every time I read another letter like this I feel deeply for you and others. My own experiences have been rough too as y'all know. You are in my prayers.
You wrote about the Real Presence, and I concur that this is what is so important in the Catholic Church. Not every time I receive the Lord do I have a greatly moving experience. Often, it is just simple peace. Other times, I think that I move into a special place for awhile where I am very close to the Lord as never before. TBTG!
Monte
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In Christ,
Monte W
(Formerly on CHN Forum as "Pilgrim Paul"
Minima Maxima Sunt
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