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Angie_Rivas1
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 11th, 2006 |
| Location: | Downey, USA |
| Posts: | 110 |
| First Name: | Angie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic |
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Posted: Wed May 9th, 2007 04:55 pm |
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Hi guys,
I am finally going out tonight with a nice, young man I met four months ago. I am somewhat nervous because this is so new to me and it is difficult for me to trust, eh, MEN. This man is very outgoing and I am more mellow/shy. He's had invited out to nightclubs but I rejected him about four times, just because that is not the environment I feel comfortable in and I think he got the message. This time, though, it is different and we are going to a Japanese restaurant where there is a salsa floor for those interested in dancing. I do not want to think it is a date, but more like just spending a nice time with someone pleasant and getting to know others. I am afraid that it will not be what I expect...Also keep me in your prayers as I want to behave as the Lord wants me to.
Love,
Angie
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"Be not afraid" JPII
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3John4
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| Joined: | Tue Feb 13th, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 102 |
| First Name: | Dede | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, Protestant, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 12:10 pm |
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So . . . how did it go?????
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mrsbmoo
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 344 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | former Methodist. RCA, Presbyterian, Holiness, Wesleyan... Catholic as of June ... |
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 01:33 pm |
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| Yes, please tell us how it went.
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Becky
Wife of Michael(called Moo) and stay at home mom to 5 daughters between 13 months and 17
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Angie_Rivas1
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 11th, 2006 |
| Location: | Downey, USA |
| Posts: | 110 |
| First Name: | Angie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic |
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 04:57 pm |
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I believe it went well. I had a nice time, although I had to say I was out of my comfort zone. My friend is a very good dancer and I did not know much about dancing salsa until last night... basic step, then watch for the pause (I guess it goes something like that). It is a lot of touching and hip movements. I stepped on his toes several times and he did not seem bothered  He was quite a gentleman. He offered me drinks, but I accepted only one. Bottom line is , I would not mind learning how to dance salsa for a hobby, but with all those sensual moves, I am concerned, if I were to learn to dance like that, would be sinning? also could this have an effect on my spiritual walk?
Angie
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"Be not afraid" JPII
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CajunRick
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 06:22 pm |
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Angie_Rivas1 wrote: I believe it went well. I had a nice time, although I had to say I was out of my comfort zone. My friend is a very good dancer and I did not know much about dancing salsa until last night... basic step, then watch for the pause (I guess it goes something like that).
Sounds like rhumba timing. "One (pause) three four, one (pause) three four".
It is a lot of touching and hip movements. I stepped on his toes several times and he did not seem bothered He was quite a gentleman.
May be a keeper.....
He offered me drinks, but I accepted only one. Bottom line is , I would not mind learning how to dance salsa for a hobby, but with all those sensual moves, I am concerned, if I were to learn to dance like that, would be sinning?
The waltz was once considered evil because of all that touching and all those sensual moves! I remember when "the twist" was considered sinful because no one could tell who you were dancing with! And of course, Elvis couldn't even be shown below the waist on television because he moved his pelvis.
Think of it as exercising with a partner. It's good for your heart (possibly in more ways than one  ).
Sin is in your mind, not your dance step. Spanish dancing tends to be quite sensual, hence the number of Hispanics in the world! Salsa dancing is certainly no more sensual than the tango, or the samba, or any of the "more traditional" ballroom dances to a Latin beat.
also could this have an effect on my spiritual walk?
Definitely. It is much easier to love God when you're smiling.
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3John4
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| Joined: | Tue Feb 13th, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 102 |
| First Name: | Dede | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, Protestant, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 06:29 pm |
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Rick,
What a great response! Or maybe I just think so because I agree with you
Dede
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CajunRick
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 06:45 pm |
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3John4 wrote: What a great response! Or maybe I just think so because I agree with you
The movie "Jesus of Nazereth" is one of my favorites because it shows Jesus dancing at a party and having a good time. It's one of the few times I've ever seen Jesus as enjoying himself. Bishop Sheen's program was called "Life is Worth Living". In Catholic both/and thinking, there is no reason not to have fun. Laughing and having a good time is NOT a sin! David danced before the Ark of the Covenant. "Let them praise his name in festive dance, make music with tambourine and lyre" (Ps 149:3).
When we dance, we praise God for the gift of life and all the wonderful things life brings us. What could possibly be wrong with that?
That is not to say that it cannot lead us to sin. The abuse of all things can lead to sin. But it's the abuse that is sinful, not the act itself.
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Angie_Rivas1
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 11th, 2006 |
| Location: | Downey, USA |
| Posts: | 110 |
| First Name: | Angie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic |
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Posted: Fri May 11th, 2007 04:45 pm |
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Rick,
Has anyone told you that you are so charming? Your sense of humor is appreciated  (<--- this is you!)
I guess I am fearful to get distracted and step away from the Lord. I really do not want to go back to my old life where Jesus was NOT my #1, but a far away God. I've built something special with Him and I want to keep it so that it can blossom into a more mature relationship. I am also praying to the Lord to guard my heart and to bless this new friendship.
By the way, when is it the appropiate time to disclose personal iinformation like a divorce to another person who seems interested in a future relationship? I am not ashamed of being a divorced woman because I've come to terms with it, but you know some people may not take it as well. I am just asking for a future reference.
Blessings,
Angie
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"Be not afraid" JPII
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CajunRick
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Posted: Fri May 11th, 2007 05:10 pm |
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Angie_Rivas1 wrote: (<--- this is you!)
No way! That dude's got hair!
By the way, when is it the appropiate time to disclose personal iinformation like a divorce to another person who seems interested in a future relationship? I am not ashamed of being a divorced woman because I've come to terms with it, but you know some people may not take it as well. I am just asking for a future reference.
Since I'm not divorced and not a professional, I have absolutely no idea. I say be honest and when it comes up in conversation, tell the truth.
Forgive me for not remembering, but have you sought a Declaration of Nullity? If not, you should begin the process immediately. Don't let it hold you back.
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Darlene
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 868 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Christian, trusting His love and forgiveness |
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Posted: Fri May 11th, 2007 05:17 pm |
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Hi Angie, I will add my two cents here. Paul the Apostle said, "All things are lawful, but all things are not helpful." I think you must examine yourself to see if this kind of dancing is comfortable for you. After you dance, how do you feel? Do you feel comfortable being this close to a man that you haven't quite come to know all that well. Recently a friend of ours, who is 23 yrs. old and a Christian, told my husband about a club that he went to. He danced with a young lady, whom he later found out was of ill repute. She was putting the "move" on him, so to speak. I know about these clubs and what sorts of things go on there. The bottom line. We asked him if his conscience bothered him. We asked him what would Jesus think of his actions. The young people in these clubs dance very provacatively and I have always discouraged Christians from going to them, because it is not an environment conducive to upbuilding one's Christian faith and character. Even further, it is an environment that tempts people away from their Christian faith.
For me personally, I have come to a place where I want to live a holy life which is pleasing to God. This does not mean that I would never go to a movie, or never attend a social event, etc. But more and more, I ask the Holy Spirit to show me what He wants me to do and where He wants me to go.
BTW, is this man a Christian, does he have faith in God? That is something to consider. Now by saying this, I do not mean that you should not see him, but rather, what would be the nature of your relationship with him? More and more, I am coming to realize that Christ wants me to allow His love to work through me for the upbuilding of others, to bless them in the way God wants to bless them. If someone is a nonChristian, then I look at them as candidates for the Kingdom of God. I should speak about the love of Jesus to them. If they already have faith in Christ, then I should encourage them in their faith, to help them along in their journey toward Heaven.
Of course, this is just the beginning of meeting this man, but if you think there is potential for this relationship to deepen, or become romantic, then these are issues you will have to grapple with. Better to find out where this man stands spiritually in the beginning, than to get your emotions involved and find out you are in two very different places with respect to your faith.
I hope I have helped. God Bless you, Angie.
Darlene
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The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
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CajunRick
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Posted: Fri May 11th, 2007 05:25 pm |
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Darlene wrote: Hi Angie, I will add my two cents here. Paul the Apostle said, "All things are lawful, but all things are not helpful." I think you must examine yourself to see if this kind of dancing is comfortable for you. After you dance, how do you feel?
Darlene, I agree with you completely. My advice to Angie was based on her statement, "I would not mind learning how to dance salsa for a hobby, but with all those sensual moves, I am concerned, if I were to learn to dance like that, would be sinning??"
By this, I take it she enjoyed herself. Certainly I would never encourage anyone to any inappropriate act, and whether she continues to see this gentleman or not is not really the issue I was addressing. It sounds to me like Angie is approaching this as a fun activity that could potentially be great exercise, and there is no reason not to have fun. Salsa dancing is not sinful (although, like anything else, abusing it could be) as long as it's approached with the right attitude and the proper precautions (like not drinking too much).
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Darlene
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 868 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Christian, trusting His love and forgiveness |
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Posted: Fri May 11th, 2007 05:33 pm |
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Angie_Rivas1 wrote: I've built something special with Him and I want to keep it so that it can blossom into a more mature relationship. I am also praying to the Lord to guard my heart and to bless this new friendship.
Angie, this is the best attitude any of us can have. You must always be guarding your heart. It is so easy, esp. for us women, to allow our feelings to jump ahead of us.
By the way, when is it the appropiate time to disclose personal iinformation like a divorce to another person who seems interested in a future relationship? I am not ashamed of being a divorced woman because I've come to terms with it, but you know some people may not take it as well. I am just asking for a future reference.
In reading your post again, I realize by these comments that you have made, (the ones underlined), that at least the thought of a relationship with this man is a possibility. All the more reason to inquire as to what his beliefs are. What kind of morals does he have? Does he think premarital sex is ok? Does he believe what the Bible teaches, and the Church, regarding living a pure life? Knowing the answers to these questions would be guarding your heart. Unless, of course, you just want to have a platonic friendship, and romantic attraction is nonexistant. Then there is the whole matter of what I would call "missionary dating." This is when a Christian believer dates a person, thinking to convert them to their Christian faith, in your case, the Catholic faith. Sometimes the person converts and sometimes not. In the latter case, often the
Christian partner weakens in their faith and makes compromises just to get along with the unbelieving partner. Ok, I've said enough. I would encourage you to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in this situation. Ask for wisdom and understanding and He will give it to you. May our Lord Jesus bless you in all your ways. Darlene
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The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
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Angie_Rivas1
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 11th, 2006 |
| Location: | Downey, USA |
| Posts: | 110 |
| First Name: | Angie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic |
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Posted: Sat May 12th, 2007 03:15 pm |
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Dear Darlene,
I appreciate your comments and excellent questions. Your approach is in such a motherly way, Thank you. After surviving a divorce, I can honestly say that ONLY God's love and grace saved me from the sorrow and pain. I don't want to do anything (including an activity) that will jeopardize our relationship or that will distract me from His path. Nothing is worth losing Jesus. He's made my life new! He delivered me from so many chains. I am ecstatic and humble to know that I am special to Him and that He loves me tenderly.
As far as this new friendship, I doubt it will amount to anything romantic. Even though, there seems to be a mutual attraction, I know where I stand as far as my values and my faith. This man is very worldy. If anything, I am hoping I can witness Jesus' love through my actions and when we interact with each other. As I have mentioned in the past, I am in God's hands and I pray His will be done on my life even if that means I may not get what I want.
Darlene, God bless you and all the beautiful women from this forum who are blessed to be mothers You will all be in my prayers this weekend!
Love,
Angie
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"Be not afraid" JPII
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beachmoss
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 13th, 2006 |
| Location: | Simpsonville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 296 |
| First Name: | Beth | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic (raised Baptist) |
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Posted: Sat May 12th, 2007 10:19 pm |
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Angie_Rivas1 wrote:
By the way, when is it the appropiate time to disclose personal iinformation like a divorce to another person who seems interested in a future relationship? I am not ashamed of being a divorced woman because I've come to terms with it, but you know some people may not take it as well. I am just asking for a future reference.
Angie,
I'll throw in my two cents here. My husband told me about his divorce on our first date! I was shocked at first, but of course it didn't stop me from seeing him. Be honest, and use your judgement on when is the best time.
Beth
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tedjenczewski
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| Joined: | Thu May 10th, 2007 |
| Location: | Richmond, Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 345 |
| First Name: | Ted | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Presbyterian, revert Catholic |
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Posted: Sat May 12th, 2007 11:43 pm |
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Hi Angie, I agree with Darlene, in that night clubbing is not generally an activity conducive to a life of faith, hope and love. There are too many other things going on in that environment. There are many other activities more constructive persons of faith such as walks, hikes, picnics etc. I have been married twice (my first wife is deceased) and in both of my relationships the most important factor over the long term is/was our faith in the risen Lord. He sustains us, and provides focus for our conversation, activitities and friendships with others. The most important thing for the believer is he/she be partnered with another believer. May God bless you in your search for a life partner.
Ted
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"...the church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth." 1Tim 3, 15
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