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Vanessa
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| Joined: | Tue Mar 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 42 |
| First Name: | Vanessa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, atheist, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 10:08 am |
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(I am reading through replies to previous posts after a weeks absence, please do not think that I am disregarding your help)
Something came up today in conversation, several people found it hard to understand that I have a cousin only 20 miles away whom I have never met. He is my late fathers's nephew, a recently retired Monseigneur at a Cathedral.
Family history is such that there was no contact after my fathers's death, between my mother and my father's family, she was of the wrong class and they looked down upon her. Until my sister made contact with my other cousin, the priest's sister, being in the same town while at university.
I heard a couple of years ago, that my cousin, Monseigneur P. had heard that I was living close by and wanted to be in touch with me. I was overjoyed, even though I was not in the faith then, I felt a deep respect for his calling. I said yes, let him know that I would like contact,
This family being what it is, nothing else was ever said, Did they send him my address and he never replied or did they never send the details? I don't know. My sister is so against the Church, I cannot really ask her.
I don't like to approach him out of the blue with a letter. And yet it would mean so much to me to have a spiritual connection within my family.
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BodRod
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 840 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 10:36 am |
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Hi Vanessa,
I don't think the details about how who found whom are very important. The important part, in my opinion, is that contact was desired and was made. You situation reminds me of my own. I came from a very dis-functional dis-organized family that had drifted apart. I was feeling that, as far as I knew, I was the only member of the family left.
A magazine published a little blurb that I had submitted and it happened to be a magazine to which a cousin subscribed. She contacted me and we have been in touch ever since. I had not seen this cousin in 60 some years but yet it was a real lift to have the contact.
I am not sure if you are asking a "Should I ...." question or not. However, if you are asking, I would say "Yes, by all means." If it goes well, your will feel the rewards from the contact. If it does not go well, the least you will know is that you did your part and tried. 
____________________
Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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Carolyn
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 30th, 2007 |
| Location: | Torrington, Connecticut USA |
| Posts: | 117 |
| First Name: | Carolyn | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Im a married catholic, with four children Devoted to Mary ... |
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 11:43 am |
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| Im sure your cousin would be over joyed !to hear from you ,especially that you have the Catholic faith in common and that you are family....I would send the letter,I wish I had that cousin,how blessed to have someone so close to the catholic church I could see you and he walking in some garden sabctuary ,Im sure he would take you under his wing, God Bless
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3John4
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| Joined: | Tue Feb 13th, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 102 |
| First Name: | Dede | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, Protestant, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 12:08 pm |
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Vanessa,
I agree with Carolyn; what a blessing! It seems you have so much more to gain than to lose by making the first move. I say, "Go for it." And keep us posted, please.
Dede
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Vanessa
Member
| Joined: | Tue Mar 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 42 |
| First Name: | Vanessa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, atheist, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 12:14 pm |
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Thank you BodRod and Carolyn,
I know that you are right, I have nothing to lose by contacting my cousin, I just feel a little uncomfortable by writing out of the blue, but then I would never have done that if it had not come back to me that he would like to be in contact with me.
I don't have a large family, only the two cousins and my sister. I would not ever have been brought up in the Faith, only by my mother continuing the wishes of my Catholic father who died when I was 3yrs old. I have very few memories of my father, but the most vivid and the most precious is of him teaching me the Hail Mary and of how to hold my hands in prayer.
Maybe life in retirement lacks the hustle and bustle, my cousin is about 25/30 yrs older than me, maybe he would be happy to have the contact too?
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CajunRick
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 02:42 pm |
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Vanessa wrote: Maybe life in retirement lacks the hustle and bustle, my cousin is about 25/30 yrs older than me, maybe he would be happy to have the contact too?
Maybe he would see it as an opportunity to share his faith with you, and that would be a blessing to you right now. I see no downside in contacting him.
You could write him a letter, or you could attend a mass he is celebrating and introduce yourself afterward.
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Vanessa
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| Joined: | Tue Mar 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 42 |
| First Name: | Vanessa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, atheist, Catholic |
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Posted: Fri May 11th, 2007 12:11 am |
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It would be a truly wonderful thing to speak about faith with him. I have been at university the last 4 years, yards from the cathedral, I wish I had tried harder to meet him there, before he retired.
This is silly, but I don't know how to address him in the letter? Dear first name sounds wrong, I've never met him, although I expect he did see me as a baby. If I was writing to my female cousin, I would write dear first name , I haven't met her either, but I want to show a degree of respect. I'm really not sure.
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CajunRick
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Posted: Fri May 11th, 2007 02:26 am |
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Vanessa wrote: It would be a truly wonderful thing to speak about faith with him. I have been at university the last 4 years, yards from the cathedral, I wish I had tried harder to meet him there, before he retired.
This is silly, but I don't know how to address him in the letter? Dear first name sounds wrong, I've never met him, although I expect he did see me as a baby. If I was writing to my female cousin, I would write dear first name , I haven't met her either, but I want to show a degree of respect. I'm really not sure.
Honestly, I would address him as "Dear Father" or whatever title is common for a monsignor in your area. You say if your cousin was female you would use a first name, but would you feel the same if she were a nun, a physician, or someone else in an exalted position? First name is appropriate for people in comparable positions, but when you are writing to someone in a professional capacity to whom you are not personally aquainted, they deserve the respect due to their position until you get to know them.
I think things are probably a little different in the United States where we tend to be less class-conscious, but even so, I would address an introductory letter to a person I didn't know (even a relative) in a more professional manner, and wait for him/her to give me permission to do otherwise. I guess I'm a little old fashioned in that regard, but for example I will not reach out to shake hands with a woman. It's up to her to give me permission to touch her. And I think when someone has a professional position, it is up to them to give me permission to break that boundary.
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