| Author | Post |
|---|
Vanessa
Member
| Joined: | Tue Mar 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 42 |
| First Name: | Vanessa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, atheist, Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 12:07 am |
|
This is weighing heavily on my mind, and I can speak to my priest about it in confession on Saturday, but in the meantime, I do not know.
I have a friend whom I have known some years and we have been good friends and been through alot together and she has always been someone who I would hear from every day for a while, and then a gap because she was talking to someone else each day for a while.
And I came to understand that about her and accepted it.
Recently she went on holiday for a month and so I have only just caught up with her. She met a gentleman friend on the internet and he has now moved in. That is non of my business, but she also told me that she is concealing their relationship in various ways that means that she is still getting state benefits and money from her ex-husband, that she would not get if she admitted that she was co-habiting.
After speaking to her, I was angry at her blase attitude to deception and benefit fraud and I was angry that she thought that I would just think it ok and that despite our years of friendship, she didn't know me at all.
Well, the end is, I contacted the online site to name benefit fraud and gave her details.
I am still angry that she could so easily deceive, and each deception leaves less money for those in real need, but I have betrayed a friend and I feel that is a much graver sin.
|
|
|
David W. Emery
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Brownsville, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 2427 |
| First Name: | David | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 12:23 am |
|
Vanessa, you served justice; you did not betray a friendship. Your so-called friend destroyed that friendship with her deceitfulness and attitude of “sin doesn’t exist.” No, she doesn’t know you, and apparently you didn’t know her.
As you say, her other sin is not your business. But now you need to deal with your own anger.
David
|
|
|
Vanessa
Member
| Joined: | Tue Mar 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 42 |
| First Name: | Vanessa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, atheist, Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 12:56 am |
|
David,
your reply was very timely and has helped me immesurably.
I really don't know what is right, or I do....but it is harder to follow through.
In a couple of weeks when this lady phones me calling all and everyone because her benefits have changed, and I am to blame, I can't lie to her, but it means losing a friend for ever.
|
|
|
CajunRick
Guest
| Joined: | |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | |
| First Name: | | | Gender: | | | Faith History: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 02:09 am |
|
I agree with David. When we "render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's" we do so fairly. Jesus told the tax collector not to take anything more than he was entitled to. We all carry that obligation. As citizens, we are under command from Jesus to follow the law. As friends, we are obligated not to support illegal activity. She is committing a crime.
You don't have to tell her. Say you're sorry it happened (which is no doubt true) and wish her the best. You can avoid the truth without telling a lie.
The main thing is you have called her to holiness, which scripture commands us to do. And if it does end up that you lose a friend, what have you really lost? The friendship of a cheat and liar?
|
|
|
Vanessa
Member
| Joined: | Tue Mar 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 42 |
| First Name: | Vanessa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, atheist, Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 02:22 am |
|
Thank you Rick,
uum, I am still thinking on this, in the sense that in the bottom of my heart I am feeling a betrayal of a friend, does the sense of believing one has sinned make it so? Does that make sense? If I feel that I have sinned, although others tell me that is not so, is not my own idea(concept) of the sin that make it so?
|
|
|
Vanessa
Member
| Joined: | Tue Mar 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 42 |
| First Name: | Vanessa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, atheist, Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 06:42 am |
|
cajunrick wrote: The main thing is you have called her to holiness,
Um Rick, could you clarify this a little bit for me?
Do you mean that by reporting her I may have tried to trigger something in her that may come to fruitfulness?
Or am I on the wrong track?
|
|
|
Vanessa
Member
| Joined: | Tue Mar 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 42 |
| First Name: | Vanessa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic, atheist, Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 06:52 am |
|
| There are a lot of words in the English Language, and non of them nice, for what I have done.
|
|
|
Br_Carlo
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Tyler, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 150 |
| First Name: | Br_Carlo (Vince Brach) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Presbyterian, Episcopalian, CATHOLIC |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 09:12 am |
|
God's peace. Let me throw in my two cents. At the school where I teach--and in fact, everywhere where I deal with young people--I have observed that the number one "virtue" among them is not to "rat" on one's friends. In practice, this means that you don't tell anyone in authority when your friend is having underage sex, or using drugs, or thinking about suicide. This "virtue" is reinforced through TV shows like "Real World" which glorify the rebellious counterculture.
I applaud you in your brave decision and action. Rendering unto Caesar for the right reasons makes you a partner in lawfulness, not a traitor. Blessings, ~Br_Carlo~
|
|
|
Annie
Banned
| Joined: | Wed Feb 14th, 2007 |
| Location: | Columbus, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 731 |
| First Name: | Annie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | nothing, Quaker, Mennonite, Presbyterian, Methodist, Anglican, Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 09:17 am |
|
| You did your duty as a good Christian. I recently had a problem with somebody who was doing something very wrong and wouldn't listen to me. I had a terrible burden on me to the point of giving me an ulcer. When I finally wrote a letter to the appropriate person in charge who could fix the situation my burden was lifted and even my tummy is getting better! Surely it is Satan trying to convince you that you have done something wrong. Say, "begone, Satan." And pray for your friend. Pray for everyone who feels a "need" to take part in deception.
____________________
Annie
Ora et labora
|
|
|
Steve seeking understanding
Member
| Joined: | Tue Apr 10th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 12 |
| First Name: | Steve | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Pentecostal, Baptist, Anglican |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 10:29 am |
|
In my opinion you were being her friend. You did not betray her at all by challenging her to strive to be a better person. Nor do you betray someone by challenging them to be accountable to God (and so to Truth, Life and Freedom). You were not only acting in the best interest of others - those she was deceiving - but also in her best interest. After all that you have been through she should know that you genuinely care for her. Perhaps she should pause and consider why it is that in this one circumstance you challenged her behavior, when you've supported and encouraged her consistently in the past. I think that this might be echoing Rick's comment about you calling her to holiness.
Just a thought.
Steven
|
|
|
CajunRick
Guest
| Joined: | |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | |
| First Name: | | | Gender: | | | Faith History: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 01:15 pm |
|
Vanessa wrote: cajunrick wrote: The main thing is you have called her to holiness,
Um Rick, could you clarify this a little bit for me?
Holy people do not lie, cheat, or steal. You have called her to realize that what she did is wrong, to repent of her actions, and become holier as a result.
There is no greater gift that one friend can give another than holiness.
|
|
|
JillD
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 961 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 01:27 pm |
|
Proverbs 27:6
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Life would be so much better if we all had the nerve to call each other to account more often - with love.
Jill
____________________
"I praise you, for I am wondrously made. Wonderful are our works! My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret." Ps 139
"Guard me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men." Ps 140
|
|
|
Darlene
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 868 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Christian, trusting His love and forgiveness |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri May 25th, 2007 02:31 pm |
|
Vanessa,
Elsewhere in Psalms, David said, "Let a good man stike me in kindness," and in Proverbs 27:6 it says, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy."
True love shown toward others can sometimes be interpreted wrongly. Pray to the Blessed Holy Spirit that He shows your friend the truth which is that you care for her welfare.
Love in Christ,
Darlene
____________________
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
|
|
|
Current time is 12:38 am | |
|
|
