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Liz65
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 14th, 2007 |
| Location: | Maryland USA |
| Posts: | 29 |
| First Name: | Liz | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Multiple Protestant denominations, Episcopalian, Anabaptist |
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Posted: Thu Nov 29th, 2007 09:30 pm |
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I have not posted for a long time. If any of you remember I am a 60+ woman with an Anglican backround who was headed for Rome. Well -- my husbands objections have not changed -- I still attend mass and I simply cannot attend the anabaptist church we have belonged to for 15 years any more.
I cannot receive the Holy Eucharist, but just being there is better than nothing. I cry a lot -- my husband simply will not even consider Catholicism (we have been married for 40 years and were Episcopalians) He says if I attempt to "fully convert" he will leave me. This is so shocking and difficult -- I have never known him to be so closed minded. He has done some reading (Scott Hahn etc) but says that "they are all a bunch of crazies to believe in that hocus-pocus" (The Eucharist). Please pray for us. I feel so alone here.
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6. Q. Why did God make you?
A. God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven.
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1423 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Nov 29th, 2007 10:00 pm |
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Dear Liz,
I remember you, your intelligence, and your background.
How my heart grieves that you are in such a position. Your pain is evident.
No doubt your husband is afraid and anxious. He does not want this kind of upset in his marriage or in his life. He must believe that he has a good chance of controlling the situation (and you) by making this threat. I do not pretend to know whether he would actually make good on the threat, but I think I understand why he is making the threat.
A widow, I did not have to deal with the objections of a spouse. My octogenarian mother, however, a Baptist pastor's wife, has tried similar tactics with me. She assured me that the family could not survive if I acted on my plans and then escalated to saying she would find it just as easy to bury me as to see me enter even more deeply into the Catholic faith. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love me. Doesn't mean that she will break ties with me. In her case, it does mean that she is hurt, confused, afraid, and willing to try almost anything to control me and the situation that rocks her world.
Is there a friend--minister, priest, someone you and your husband both respect and admire that he would listen to? If your husband could hear from another man (that he respects and sees as reasonable) that his attempt to coerce you into ignoring your own religious convictions is simple bullying, not to be done by an honorable person, not to be tolerated by a self-respecting spouse---perhaps that would strengthen your position.
He has no right to demand that you follow his religious convictions rather than your own. I suppose you have to be willing to call his bluff, Liz. You really need to speak with a great priest about this. I pray you can find one.
You are an intelligent, wise lady, Liz. Pray for courage and guidance. Find a good priest. Consider what you would tell another woman who brought this problem to you. Don't you also deserve that kind of respect and that kind of relationship?
God bless you, dear lady. Be brave.
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Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials. . .the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life. . . NAB James 1:2-4,12
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BodRod
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 840 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Thu Nov 29th, 2007 10:42 pm |
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Well Liz65, you are NOT alone. I am in a similar boat only here it is reversed. Here, it is my wife that gets up tight at any mention of the RCC or my experiences in the Parish. She does not disagree with any of the points of the Nicene Creed but my "belonging" is the BIG problem or any time I spend helping out. She even gets upset if I mention the RCC or my experiences to any of the kids, the youngest of which is 40+ and can make up her own mind. I was accepted into Church a couple of years ago and it was a hassle all through RCIA and still is today. However, BBs like this one, the Wednesday night chats, helping out a little in my Parish, Friday morning adoration, reading and praying helps me a lot. At times I too, feel alone but them I think of this group and the friends I have made at church and I feel better.
I wish you all the best. 
Last edited on Fri Nov 30th, 2007 03:30 am by BodRod
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Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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Liz65
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 14th, 2007 |
| Location: | Maryland USA |
| Posts: | 29 |
| First Name: | Liz | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Multiple Protestant denominations, Episcopalian, Anabaptist |
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Posted: Thu Nov 29th, 2007 11:55 pm |
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Thank you all SO MUCH for your support!! You cannot imagine what it means! I do not think I have told you about my "prayer answer" I am not sure where it fits so I shall tell it here.
Our 33 year old son joined the army (in the summer of 2005) He wanted to do something after 9-11. Today he is an officer in the 101st Airborne. He loves what he does and in a few weeks he will leave for Afganistan. Since he joined I have lived in a world of terrible fear and confusion. I do not want to lose my son. Anabaptists are pacifists and I have found little if no support for my feelings and fears. Then one day, as I prayed The Rosary, I was made so aware of the fact that Our Blessed Mother understands what it is like to give up a son!! In fact ,who more that she understands!! Now I know where to turn -- it has been such a relief. Please stay with me as I struggle with all of this. Bless you all!!
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6. Q. Why did God make you?
A. God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven.
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Dave Armstrong
Network Apologist
| Joined: | Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Melvindale, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 2172 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Evangelical (1977): Diverse Protestant Influences / Catholic in 1990 |
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Posted: Sat Dec 1st, 2007 07:37 pm |
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Hi Liz,
That is very tough. I'm not sure much can be done in that serious sitation (unless something changes) except to pray. But I do know that there are many people here (as already seen in the responses) who can at least empathize and provide some measure of solace and comfort. That can be worth a lot in times of such intense suffering.
Perhaps with your prayers and ours and the working of God's grace, your husband's heart can be softened. It has happened many times in the course of conversion journies. That's no guarantee, but maybe can offer you a little ray of hope. God has His ways of breaking down stubborn, intransigent people (I know: I was one of those with regard to any Christianity at all back in 1977).
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I'm happy to offer whatever theological & personal assistance I can. My blog, Biblical Evidence for Catholicism, contains 2000+ papers & web pages (absolutely free) & 16 apologetic books (for sale):
http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/
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Liz65
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 14th, 2007 |
| Location: | Maryland USA |
| Posts: | 29 |
| First Name: | Liz | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Multiple Protestant denominations, Episcopalian, Anabaptist |
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Posted: Sun Dec 2nd, 2007 04:24 pm |
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Dave,
Thanks so much for your reply and your prayers. We were able to sit down and talk and agree to pray about it together. Liz
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6. Q. Why did God make you?
A. God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven.
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Dave Armstrong
Network Apologist
| Joined: | Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Melvindale, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 2172 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Evangelical (1977): Diverse Protestant Influences / Catholic in 1990 |
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Posted: Mon Dec 3rd, 2007 04:51 pm |
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I'm delighted to hear that, Liz.  Prayer really does cause wonderful things to happen.
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I'm happy to offer whatever theological & personal assistance I can. My blog, Biblical Evidence for Catholicism, contains 2000+ papers & web pages (absolutely free) & 16 apologetic books (for sale):
http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/
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Prayerie Pal
Member
| Joined: | Sat Mar 24th, 2007 |
| Location: | Omaha, Nebraska USA |
| Posts: | 254 |
| First Name: | susie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Presbyterian,Methodist, Charismatic Catholic, Pentecostal, Evangelical, and now Truly Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Dec 6th, 2007 10:40 pm |
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Prayer really does cause wonderful things to happen.
It sure does! I've noticed a remarkable change in a priest friend I've been praying for who only in September told me to stop praying for him, that he wasn't worth it, and not to waste my prayers on him anymore.
Then last Sunday night, we talked on the phone, (I'd been to Wisconsin to see him in Oct.) and since then he's sounded better when we've talked, but last Sunday night he said with such a change, "thank you,susie" and that he appreciated me praying for him! That is a HUGE difference from his angry and depressed sound. I've learned this, hope begets hope!
I'll pray for you, too, Liz. I will light a candle for you at Adoration this coming Sunday. I KNOW how blessed we are to have candles and other physical, tangible things to see and touch that help increase our faith and help our prayers. God's changed the heart of this priest, the Holy Spirit has given him hope, and I know he'll touch the heart of your husband. There are wonderful stories of many hardened anti-Catholics who've been touched by grace and received that grace to soften their hearts, and if not convert wholly, at least they give the respect to the Catholic Church that is due. Pray the Memorare every night, if you've not done that. That is ONE Powerful prayer! Our Lady will touch his heart....I believe it!
Also, pray to Fr. Kevin Fete. He's a priest who died July 23,2006 and I've been praying to him since Dr. Ray wrote me about his passing. Phenomenal things and answers to prayer have occured since I've been asking his intercession. It's wonderful to have this blessed Communion of Saints! He's powerful and storms heaven for me daily for my sons and his friend and mine, Fr. G. I've been given these dear consolations but I've also said that I will take on this physcial suffering and more that I've experienced at night (bones ache intensely) to offer it up for Father and my sons. Even if the consolation had not come Sunday, I'd not give up. I know your concern and your pain is great, but God is greater! He will see you through this and I know your husband will see the light...when he will isn't up to us, but perseverence and fortitude is. If hope is low or seems not to be in your grasp, just ask our Lord, ask our Blessed Mother...she will pray for you and your husband will come to the Truth. I do believe his heart will soften in the not too distant future.
Remember O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee O Virgin of Virgins, my Mother. To thee I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. Oh Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions but in your mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
PAX,
susie
Last edited on Thu Dec 6th, 2007 10:50 pm by Prayerie Pal
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God gave us memory so we could have roses in winter.
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tedjenczewski
Member
| Joined: | Thu May 10th, 2007 |
| Location: | Richmond, Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 345 |
| First Name: | Ted | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Presbyterian, revert Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Dec 6th, 2007 11:00 pm |
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| Hi Liz. I am a 65 year old man in a similar position as you. I attend a protestant church with my wife because she will not yet consider conversion to the catholic Church. I suggest that you should attend the anabaptist church occasionally with your husband to calm his soul, and watch Marcus Grodi's program with your husband on EWTN. Eventually the truth of the Catholic faith will become evident to him through the grace of God and the steadfastess of your love. I also suggest you give him Gregory Otis' book "Catholic Doctrine in Scripture" and discuss the Catholic teachings with him.
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"...the church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth." 1Tim 3, 15
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Prayerie Pal
Member
| Joined: | Sat Mar 24th, 2007 |
| Location: | Omaha, Nebraska USA |
| Posts: | 254 |
| First Name: | susie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Presbyterian,Methodist, Charismatic Catholic, Pentecostal, Evangelical, and now Truly Catholic |
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Posted: Fri Dec 7th, 2007 12:04 am |
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I've not heard of the book you mention, Catholic Doctrine in Scripture. The title sounds compelling! I'm a book nut so I think I'll check it out. Thanks.
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God gave us memory so we could have roses in winter.
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1423 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Sat Dec 8th, 2007 07:15 pm |
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Liz,
Just wanted to say that I am still praying for you and your husband.
Has your son's unit shipped out yet?
Keep us posted on him so that we can cover him with our prayers as well.
God bless,
____________________
Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials. . .the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life. . . NAB James 1:2-4,12
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Talithacumi
Member
| Joined: | Sat Sep 30th, 2006 |
| Location: | Eastern Ohio, USA |
| Posts: | 306 |
| First Name: | Cheri | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic - Latin Rite |
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Posted: Sat Dec 8th, 2007 08:45 pm |
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Liz,
Hi. I know how tough it is with mixed-faith relationships. I was never in that situation in a marital sense, but I dated a Protestant man seriously for a number of years. It was tough, and the scars are still there, even long after the relationship's ended (it ended mainly because I wouldn't leave the Catholic Church to join him in his).
I don't think there's much more that I can say that others haven't. But... have you tried just talking to a priest lately? You imply that you aren't "fully Catholic" yet, so maybe you can't go to Confession. (For myself, going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation is like having a "spiritual bath" - it can be so refreshing). Still, just going to talk to a priest, even, can help when you're really down and having difficult situations in life.
Just today, I went to Mass for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (our parish's namesake, btw) and afterwards I asked Father if I could speak to him for a few minutes. Just getting things off of my chest to a priest who was really listening and taking the time to talk to me was such a help. He told me that for part of my penance I was to "take a vacation from my problems" - we laughed about that line from the movie "What about Bob?" Anyway, it helps to speak with a good pastor - that's a big part of their function: to serve the body of Christ and minister to its members. Maybe if you can find a good priest to talk to, he can help you to sort through or get through this. And, of course, as others have said, prayer helps. We must always have hope.
If you've been married to your husband as long as you have, I think - well, I could be wrong, but I think that his saying he'll leave you if you fully convert is more of a scare tactic than anything. He's afraid. We need to pray that he will let go of his fear of you becoming Catholic. Maybe you could gently try to pry out of him just what is at the root of his fear. Make him face it. "There's nothing to fear but fear itself," so they say.
Of course, I can't really tell you what to do. I may not be a great one for giving advice. But I will certainly keep you in my prayers. Here's hoping the best for your situation. And... keep the faith! Believe me, I know it's hard sometimes. I know. But perseverence is the key. My pastor was just reminding me that holiness is in the struggle. He says that people who act like they're blissfully happy all the time with their head in the clouds... well... give them a cross and see how they handle it. Will their balloon of happiness burst then? It's the struggle and the carrying of the cross that makes one stronger. He always quotes St. Teresa of Avila: "Lord, if this is how you treat your friends, it's no wonder you have so few of them."
But God is good. We must always remember that it is darkest just before dawn. When it seems like things are really bad, hold on just a little longer. I saw a quote that I wrote down and have hanging on my bulletin board that goes something like this: "When you're down to nothing, God is up to something."
Courage, Liz! We're all pulling for you.
JMJ
- Cheri
Last edited on Sat Dec 8th, 2007 08:54 pm by Talithacumi
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“We do not want a Church that will move with the world; we want a Church that will move the world.”
- G.K. Chesterton
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