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New Creation
Member
| Joined: | Thu Nov 22nd, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 61 |
| First Name: | Paula | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | wicca 9 yrs, Anglican 5 yrs, RCIA now! |
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Posted: Wed Dec 26th, 2007 04:23 am |
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I also would like to give a review of my first Midnight Mass for Christmas.
Seeing as I've only been attending a Catholic Church for three weeks, I was still completely clueless throughout most of the service.
First of all, we got there later than I had hoped because we were at our very good (anti-Catholic) friends' place for our now traditional Christmas Eve dinner with them which was served late.
The church was packed and we (my husband Lloyd, myself and my 17 month old daughter Meaghan) sat in some very scary folding chairs at the very back with the rest of the toddlers and babies which basically made it impossible to hear anything. Meaghan wanted to nurse constantly as well.
There was incense, which I was really excited about (isn't that funny?) and it was lovlier than I imagined it would be. I didn't anticipate the dimension it would add to worship. I can see how something like that permeates a memory forever.
The choir was bigger than normal but not as good as normal (I would guess since they were not used to singing together?). They also had a teenager playing the drums which added a kind of one-man-band feel to things if you know what I mean (and I apologize if you don't). In other words, it didn't work. I appreciated his efforts though and was glad to see a teenager there.
I didn't hear the homily because of my location and the surrounding children. My husband (God bless his heart) took Meaghan for a walk for a while so I was able to try and hear what was going on. I had a missal in my hand but didn't know when to read it and when not to. No one around me was reading one so I couldn't even pretend to follow.  I was really starting to feel sorry for myself and I prayed at that moment....
"Jesus, I don't know what I'm doing here...I have no idea what to do, when to do it or why I'm even here... please help me..."
So two minutes later this woman Shannon, who is about my age and has 3 boys (with one Meaghan's age) turns around and shout-whispers "come and sit with us!"
Prayer answered...praise to sweet Jesus...So I do and she shows me with the Missal what to do and what to say and all that basic stuff but I still feel like a complete idiot for some reason.
We knelt on the concrete which hurt like the blazes (wah wah wah) but after a while I did the 'runner's stance' and wondered if that was appropriate or not. I've got pretty bad knees but of course, it's nothing compared to the sacrifice that Christ made for us etc etc etc...which was all going through my mind in a matter of nanoseconds. I worry that I'm going to become a legalist here. Make any sense? Is that even appropriate or relevant to say?
When the congregation held hands to sing the Our Father (could be my favourite part of this place so far), (we sing it differently than the Anglican church I just left- there is a lovely spanish style guitar-playing here) I started to think about my old congregation and how I knew what would be going on there and how lonely I felt at this new place and how completely ignorant and stupid I felt and I couldn't help but cry.
What was cool though was that Shannon's oldest boy (maybe 7) started singing the Our Father in this totally ridiculous voice, God bless him and it just cracked me up. I couldn't help but laugh. I could see Shannon was going to scold him at first until she saw the effect it had on me.
The 'peace be with you' part was next and I felt lonely and sorry for myself again because at our old congregation, we used to travel the church hugging everyone. I understand that it's not appropriate here but I guess I'm going to be comparing for a while since I'm human and it's all I ever knew. I should mention that it's warmer at 'regular' masses as opposed to this one where the twice a year Christians show up (as they did in our Anglican church as well).
Thank God I knew most of the hymns because it was Christmas so I was able to belt them out and feel included (including Hark the Herald Angels which is one of my faves) but I noticed that hardly anybody else was singing. What's up with that???? It's CHRISTMAS, people!
Also, why doesn't anyone take off their coats?
The Eucharist (even though I don't receive, I go up for a blessing) feels like an assembly line...sorry, I'm from an auto town, can't help but make the comparison. I imagine it's different in smaller congregations.
Ok, so that's all I can tell you.
I do believe though, that God bestows a special grace on the mothers who haven't heard a homily in five years or so. 
____________________
always a seeker
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1446 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Dec 26th, 2007 08:10 am |
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Whoa!  That hot pink is a bit blinding.
New Creation wrote:
....I don't know what I'm doing here....I have no idea what to do, when to do it....feel like a complete idiot....how completely ignorant and stupid I felt and I couldn't help but cry.
Paula, I remember those feelings well. God uses them to help in our Catholic formation. Beginning in humility, we are just where we should be. Keep your chin up; in no time you'll be the kind lady taking a new person under her wing.
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Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials. . .the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life. . . NAB James 1:2-4,12
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Dave Armstrong
Network Apologist
| Joined: | Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Melvindale, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 2227 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Evangelical (1977): Diverse Protestant Influences / Catholic in 1990 |
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Posted: Wed Dec 26th, 2007 04:18 pm |
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Hi Paula,
Thanks for your delightfully frank account. It does get easier as time goes on!
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I'm happy to offer whatever theological & personal assistance I can. My blog, Biblical Evidence for Catholicism, contains 2100+ papers & web pages (free) & 17 apologetic books (4 sale: 15 E-Books: $25)
http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/
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mrsbmoo
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 344 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | former Methodist. RCA, Presbyterian, Holiness, Wesleyan... Catholic as of June ... |
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Posted: Wed Dec 26th, 2007 05:52 pm |
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I know exactly how you feel, I started going to mass when my 4th child was 3 months old and often had to take her out to nurse, and as a toddler it was even more due to her screaming because she couldn't run down the aisle. Now, at 3, she is fairly civilized, although still very distracting, especially if I am alone with her and my 4 month old.
For the first couple months I carried a "cheat sheet" of responses so I wouldn't feel so lost but your missal should do that for you. It really does get easier with time.
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Becky
Wife of Michael(called Moo) and stay at home mom to 5 daughters between 13 months and 17
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NanaR
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jun 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 180 |
| First Name: | Ruth | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Born JW, born-again Catholic (Tiber Swim Team 2008) |
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Posted: Wed Dec 26th, 2007 08:46 pm |
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Midnight Mass with little ones -- you are BRAVE!
At my parish, most of the littles are brought to the 5:30 Vigil Mass on Christmas Eve. But then you would have missed your Christmas dinner most probably.
God bless you!!
It will get easier...
Nana Ruth
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When you bend down to help someone up, that is the best exercise for your heart. -- Fr. Noe, 2007
http://nanaruthann.blogspot.com
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