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heardclarke
Member
| Joined: | Mon Apr 9th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 220 |
| First Name: | Lisa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Episcopalian; confirmed RC Easter 2005 |
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Posted: Mon Dec 31st, 2007 08:51 pm |
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I was casually talking with my sister and she commented that she doesn't want to have any more children. She is 33 and has twin boys almost 3 years old.
I didn't want to be rude or critical but I said we had really regretted that decision (DH had the surgery back when we were not Catholic). She asked, for spiritual reasons or other reasons? I said really it is both. She admitted her DH does not want to go that far. We also discussed the mini-pill and I told her it causes an embryo to be rejected because the uterus is not ready. That is right, isn't it? So that makes it an even worse choice than the surgery. We talked about natural methods some and I suggested that she work on that; she should be really good at it after working so hard to have her twins before. I am hoping that she will think about it.
The next day I mentioned that my 8-year-old son thinks he might want to be a priest (we have a friend going to seminary soon), but he also wants to be a daddy. I have told him that will be a choice to figure out when he is older (and both are great things to be of course.) She said, "They'll probably change that rule by that time," and again I was surprised. I just said, "Pope Benedict isn't changing anything like that!" and she said, "OK, but he's pretty old," like the next Pope will probably go for it.
I became Catholic in 2005 and I did not realize how important these Church teachings were at first. Were it not for our friend with his vocation and enthusiasm for teaching, I still might not know. (It's not my pastor's fault; coming from the Episcopal Church I just didn't realize that EVERYTHING in the Catechism was really REQUIRED for belief. I knew people who just ignored some Church teachings (like my DH) or said they thought there would be changes (like my sister); and I thought that attitude was normal, but not ideal.)
What more can I say to my sister? My DH says I'm too focused on the "letter of the law", as if there's a more mature understanding I have not acquired. He said I should not even tell her that what she wants to do is wrong. My friend says we are responsible for making sure others know what the Church teaches, and they are responsible for their choices after that. I think that is right. I am just frustrated because my family seems to have bought into the "cafeteria Catholics" attitude and I want to leave that behind with my other baggage from the Episcopal church.
Maybe I'll get one of those bumper stickers with Pope Benedict on it saying:
"The Cafeteria is Closed!"
Lisa
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Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.
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Truthseeker
Member
| Joined: | Wed Oct 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | Costa Mesa, California USA |
| Posts: | 457 |
| First Name: | Laura | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | lapsed and returned CATHOLIC!!!!!! |
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Posted: Mon Dec 31st, 2007 09:41 pm |
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In my own case, being a cafeteria catholic was part of being very lukewarm. As I became to truly love Christ (and learn to trust His church), it became impossible to reject anything, because it became so important to be obedient to Christ (not that I'm perfect at that). So it seems, from my point of view, that the catholics you know are lukewarm. There's no conviction, born of a deep love for Jesus, for them to accept all that the church teaches. Which doesn't mean they don't love Jesus at all, just not with their "whole hearts, minds, strength".
Love, Laura
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Lord, please make my will your Will!
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heardclarke
Member
| Joined: | Mon Apr 9th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 220 |
| First Name: | Lisa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Episcopalian; confirmed RC Easter 2005 |
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Posted: Mon Dec 31st, 2007 10:51 pm |
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I agree....they are happy to have left the worst problems of Protestantism behind, but on the other hand, they think I am kind of a fanatic. My sister originally joined the Church because her husband was Catholic. They have a great marriage and she's a very good mom--more patient and attentive than I. A lot of things are going right for them. And my husband is a loving, fun dad as well as a good provider for us.
Even lukewarm, the family is better off now than they were, right? They just don't seem to see the Church as the Bride of Christ. They don't see her teaching authority as coming from Him through Peter and the apostles. It's more like a symbolic authority to them I guess. That's why I am seen as a bit too literal-minded.
I don't much mind being thought a simpleton, but it bothers me that the children will be taught this same attitude. Even my own 2 kids know that if they don't want to go to Mass on a given day, Dad won't make them. All I can do is go myself, and try to time it so they want to come (like tomorrow, when we'll go out to breakfast after Mass.)
At least I know what I have to do--pray the rosary. Thanks for reading this (and letting me vent!)
Lisa
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Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.
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