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Kim M.
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 11th, 2008 |
| Location: | Georgia USA |
| Posts: | 415 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Assembly of God, Church of God, Assembly again, PCA, ... |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 04:56 pm |
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How do you cope with the criticism against the Catholic Church? I'm already feeling the "you're not of sound mind if you believe that the CC is the one, true church". My hubby is not in any way interested in joining, and his near disdain for it is so discouraging.
I'm being made to feel like I'm joining a cult!
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"A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
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Didi
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 3rd, 2008 |
| Location: | Oregon USA |
| Posts: | 248 |
| First Name: | Didi | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic; almost left; Now an On-Fire Catholic! |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 05:07 pm |
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Oh, Kim, this can be so hard, especially when it's occuring in your own home.
Bishop Fulton J. Sheen once said something like: "There are not more than 100 people in the world who truly hate the Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they perceive the Catholic Church to be."
There are so many misconceptions about the Catholic Church. I would just encourage you to be a quiet example to your husband. Let him see how your journey into the Church makes you a better person. Be extra patient with him.
I have found that instead of using statements like "the Church believes, or the Church teaches" to use "I" statements. I have come to believe... or I am feeling... or I really feel the Lord leading me... or I am learning, etc. When it's a more personal statement, it's harder to "attack" than to attack the Catholic Church as a whole.
Have you read "Rome Sweet Home" by Scott and Kimberley Hahn? You might find in really helpful (and hopeful!).
You're in my prayers!
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 05:14 pm |
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Just cling to the peace you feel upon making the descision. I think that most of us if not all of us here have faced that. Don't get into useless debates-they go no where but quietly correct individual misconceptions. To the pedofile question just point out the facts- that it is pervasive in our society and so we all need to be vigilent. To the riches of the church- point out the scope of the charities that the Catholic church pours out. And bottom line just say "this is where God wants me" And feel free to come vent on line here - This board heard over and over from me all the insulting and demeaning things that people have said to me....so we all have been ther done that..
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Annie
Banned
| Joined: | Wed Feb 14th, 2007 |
| Location: | Columbus, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 731 |
| First Name: | Annie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | nothing, Quaker, Mennonite, Presbyterian, Methodist, Anglican, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 06:19 pm |
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That's good advice. Getting into a debate is usually pointless when one or both parties already have their minds made up.
My mother has always thought any religion is evidence of mental illness but especially the Church. But she is too polite to say anything about my conversion. She does do sneaky things though like tell my brother I don't visit her as much now that "she has taken on religious responsibilities." Like going to Mass once a week is more of a responsibility than going to the Methodist church once a week. *aack*
I did get her to read Catholicism for Dummies. Don't know how much of it "took." Probably none, given the family history.
I suppose I could invite her to St. Meinrad with me so she can spray-paint anti-
Catholic graffiti on the church while we are chanting inside! Sounds like a plan, right?   
____________________
Annie
Ora et labora
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Kim M.
Member
| Joined: | Mon Feb 11th, 2008 |
| Location: | Georgia USA |
| Posts: | 415 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Assembly of God, Church of God, Assembly again, PCA, ... |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 07:13 pm |
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Didi, I have read that book, but I might give it another read. Thanks for your prayers.
I'm feeling really down right now and I think it comes from my annoying character weakness of needing to make everyone happy, regardless of how I feel. I have made my husband unhappy, although he reaffirms his love for me. But my disappointing him makes me very sad. But it can't be helped, can it?
He's worried about the kids - how they'll be raised. He feels I am putting a wedge between us. I definitely can relate to the Hahns. I know Kimberly was incredibly unhappy with Scott and contemplated divorce. I don't think my hubby would do that, but he's probably just as unhappy as she was at the time and wonders what will happen to us.
You're the only ones I can share my joy (the little I can muster right now as the Devil presses in on me). I want the historical Church. I don't want Protestantism any more.
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"A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 905 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 08:11 pm |
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Kim, just hold on- things got worse in my household right when I made my "Formal" decision- but then they smoothed out again
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Dave Armstrong
Network Apologist
| Joined: | Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Melvindale, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 2178 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Evangelical (1977): Diverse Protestant Influences / Catholic in 1990 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 08:31 pm |
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Hi Kim,
It's very tough. I feel for you. I'm sure people here will be making many more helpful comments, from their own experiences.
In a nutshell, I would say:
1) be "quietly confident" in your own beliefs.
2) don't push it.
3) stress common ground.
4) Refer him to reading material if and when he asks about anything. That takes the pressure off of you and avoids further potential quarelling and damage to your relationship. The more he learns, the less hostile he will be, if he is open at all.
5) Appeal to your right to believe as you wish, in good conscience.
6) Pray, pray pray!
7) Go to church with him if you become a Catholic and go to mass. You can do both. Just be sure not to miss Mass should you be received into the Church. You can go on Saturday afternoon. This way, you send a message of "both/and" rather than "either/or." You affirm the validity and goodness of his belief-system in a sense by going with him, and you show the tolerance that you need from him. He'll eventually soften, it is likely, as a general expectation.
A lot of this, unfortunately, comes down to the sort of person and personality our spouse or significant other or friends are. If they are the sort that can't tolerate anyone who is different from them in any way, then it can be a big problem, with no easy solution. If they are anti-Catholics, the difficulty is obvious.
The book to read on this is definitely When Only One Converts, by my friend Lynn Nordhagen. Right now at amazon you can get a used copy for $4.18 (though authors get no royalty from those sales. BOO!).
Last edited on Wed Apr 16th, 2008 08:36 pm by Dave Armstrong
____________________
I'm happy to offer whatever theological & personal assistance I can. My blog, Biblical Evidence for Catholicism, contains 2100+ papers & web pages (free) & 17 apologetic books (4 sale: 15 E-Books: $25)
http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/
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EMarshallBuckles
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | Rockville (Near Richmond), Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 669 |
| First Name: | Marshall | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Christian Church,Episcopal Church,Baptist denomination,learning about RCC |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 09:33 pm |
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| Yes, ma'am, I think that our learned Dave give excellent advice above, in my humble opinion. I especially think that his advice about stressing common ground is sound. One thing a LOT of people lose sight of is that for a LONG time, the "Roman Catholic Church", as some call it, was THE church, the ONLY church. If it was not for the Catholic Church, the other denominations would not even exist and I say that in a very POSITIVE manner! Also, a number of denominations, such as the (dare I say it) BAPTISTS have a LOT in common with the Catholic Church whether they realize it or not. The Catholic Church is also so large that other denominations look like marbles rolling down a six lane highway when compared to it! I think that's a bit too large for a "cult"! Also, when considering any negatives about the Catholic Church, the VERY SAME THINGS have, sadly, happened in about every other denomination - they just have gotten good about covering it up and when you are nowhere near as large and influential as the Catholic Church, it is easier to cover such things up. And, UNLIKE THE OTHER DENOMINATIONS, the Catholic Church has ADMITTED any human failings (which are, again, HUMAN failings and NOT failings of God) and has been working to do justice and help heal! And, lastly, I have known of many "two church" couples who manage to work things out and I am sure that you and your husband will too. Prayer certainly helps! May God bless you and your family!
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Kim M.
Member
| Joined: | Mon Feb 11th, 2008 |
| Location: | Georgia USA |
| Posts: | 415 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Assembly of God, Church of God, Assembly again, PCA, ... |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 11:38 pm |
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You guys are all so great! Thank you for all the wonderful advice and support!
Remember the friend I've mentioned who was the ONLY Catholic I know in real life? I hadn't seen her in years. She has been on my mind for months, but I couldn't get up the guts to call her.
So finally, I called her today, and we had a delightful conversation and I'll be meeting her tomorrow to talk some more! I'm so excited to be able have a face-to-face with her as she's always been a fine example of a Catholic and seems very dedicated. Just what I need. Thanks, Lord!
Please pray I'll ask the right questions. I already talked her ear off and I have so much more to share! She sounded happy to oblige.
____________________
"A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
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Kim M.
Member
| Joined: | Mon Feb 11th, 2008 |
| Location: | Georgia USA |
| Posts: | 415 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Assembly of God, Church of God, Assembly again, PCA, ... |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 11:41 pm |
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EMarshallBuckles wrote: Yes, ma'am, I think that our learned Dave give excellent advice above, in my humble opinion. I especially think that his advice about stressing common ground is sound. One thing a LOT of people lose sight of is that for a LONG time, the "Roman Catholic Church", as some call it, was THE church, the ONLY church. If it was not for the Catholic Church, the other denominations would not even exist and I say that in a very POSITIVE manner! Also, a number of denominations, such as the (dare I say it) BAPTISTS have a LOT in common with the Catholic Church whether they realize it or not. The Catholic Church is also so large that other denominations look like marbles rolling down a six lane highway when compared to it! I think that's a bit too large for a "cult"! Also, when considering any negatives about the Catholic Church, the VERY SAME THINGS have, sadly, happened in about every other denomination - they just have gotten good about covering it up and when you are nowhere near as large and influential as the Catholic Church, it is easier to cover such things up. And, UNLIKE THE OTHER DENOMINATIONS, the Catholic Church has ADMITTED any human failings (which are, again, HUMAN failings and NOT failings of God) and has been working to do justice and help heal! And, lastly, I have known of many "two church" couples who manage to work things out and I am sure that you and your husband will too. Prayer certainly helps! May God bless you and your family!
Marshall, you been hangin' those feet off the edge of that barge lately and gettin' them wet? Sounds like you're close to jumping in! 
____________________
"A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
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Kim M.
Member
| Joined: | Mon Feb 11th, 2008 |
| Location: | Georgia USA |
| Posts: | 415 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Assembly of God, Church of God, Assembly again, PCA, ... |
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Posted: Wed Apr 16th, 2008 11:46 pm |
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Dave Armstrong wrote: he book to read on this is definitely When Only One Converts, by my friend Lynn Nordhagen. Right now at amazon you can get a used copy for $4.18 (though authors get no royalty from those sales. BOO!).
I just ordered it on eBay. Thanks Dave! Thanks for all your help!
One positive thing happened this afternoon. My hubby pointed out to me that Eucharistic Adoration is THIS Friday, not next Friday. Very unlike him to offer to "help" like that when it comes to this subject. My real life friend says her church has weekly adoration! May get to go either way!
____________________
"A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
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CajunRick
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Posted: Thu Apr 17th, 2008 04:31 am |
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Kim M. wrote: How do you cope with the criticism against the Catholic Church?
The first thing, Kim, is that we understand their criticisms come from ignorance, not hate.
We remember the words of Servant of God Fulton J. Sheen: "There are not a hundred people who hate the Catholic Church, but there are thousands who hate what they think the Catholic Church to be."
We remember the words of St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach the Gospel at all times. When necessary, use words."
We remember the words of St. John: "God is live, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him."
When the opportunity presents itself, we challenge our misguided friends and relatives to learn the truth about the Catholic faith by offering them reliable Catholic publications like the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, or such publications as the United States Catholic Catechism for Adults or Unabridged Christianity by Fr. Mario Romero.
There are hundreds of publications that present the true Catholic faith. Challenge them to learn the truth before they criticize. Pray that they will find truth. And if their minds are closed and their hearts are hardened, simply tell them you will pray for them because you love them as Jesus and the Catholic Church loves them.
And if they are Internet-savvy, invite 'em here!
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1423 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Apr 17th, 2008 06:22 am |
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Kim M. wrote:
I'm feeling really down right now and I think it comes from my annoying character weakness of needing to make everyone happy, regardless of how I feel. I have made my husband unhappy, although he reaffirms his love for me. But my disappointing him makes me very sad. But it can't be helped, can it?
No, it can't be helped.
As Catholics, we learn to carry the cross with Christ and even to hang on the cross with Him. Some Protestants come into the Church without having developed these spiritual muscles. (I think I remember your saying you are already accustomed to suffering for Christ.) For a while criticism, rejection, persecution may fall across your shoulder like a cross too heavy to bear. Little by little you will exercise those muscles until one day you'll notice that a remark or piece of behavior that used to be devastating isn't anymore.
Two short prayers help me:
Jesus, give me grace.
Jesus, I offer this up for the salvation of souls.
Those two prayers got me through forty-eight hours of non-stop Catholic bashing when a loved one visited the first time after my confirmation. Several months later, during her next visit, we spent some pleasant hours together.
Be brave. Expect to suffer some.
Be patient. Chances are excellent that family relationships will improve.
about your friend--
So glad you will see her tomorrow. The Lord gave me two Catholic ladies who "held my hand" all through formation. They are very dear to me indeed. You need Catholic friends. Check around and see if area parishes have some sort of group you could join to make Catholic friends.
I'll share this with you. My confessor advised me a couple of days ago to pray that the Lord would bring into my life each day the sufferings and mortifications that I need in order to conform to the Divine Will. This morning I slammed the van door on my right thumb. There's suffering and mortification for you.  Still can't figure out how I managed to do such a thing. I thought of you as I spent three hours in the ER with a throbbing thumb, offering up my pain for the salvation of souls, and pondering the mysteries of being a Catholic. God is good.
Enjoy the visit with your friend.
BeckyLast edited on Thu Apr 17th, 2008 06:43 am by Intercessor
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Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials. . .the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life. . . NAB James 1:2-4,12
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Pani Rose
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| Joined: | Fri Oct 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Irondale, Alabama USA |
| Posts: | 675 |
| First Name: | Rose | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Ruthenian Byzantine in a Melkite Greek Catholic Parish, raised ... |
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Posted: Thu Apr 17th, 2008 06:55 am |
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Well this is in reverse, but Joy Pinto kind of thought Jim Pinto was nuts when he was re-verting. I found her cd, it might help. I think the funds to go the ministry as they work with Fr. Frank Pavone in Priests-for-Life.
My Testimony and Treasures in the Darkness
Joy shares both her testimony and the role of redemptive suffering in yielding eternal treasure. Available as an audio CD. http://www.sanctityoflifeministries.org/shop/
You will have to scroll down to see it.
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wwjd
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| Joined: | Thu Jan 11th, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 30 |
| First Name: | wwjd | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic as of 4/7/07! |
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Posted: Fri Apr 18th, 2008 03:22 pm |
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Kim,
You have received some wonderful advice so I really don't have anything of value to add other than to relate my own experience. My husband has been very supportive of my journey and recent conversion to the Catholic faith but my Mother is very anti-Catholic. She will occasionally send links to anti-Catholic websites and several months ago made several disparaging comments about the Catholic Church. I am confident in my beliefs and just offer up prayers that she will accept my decision and change her view of the Catholic Church. This week, I received not one but TWO emails of a "Catholic nature" ! The first is just too cute not to share:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/1726401/posts
The other email she sent contained St. Theresa's Prayer and a picture (see below). Then, last night my Mom mentioned the Pope's visit and her hope that people will listen to what he has to say. She did add a disclaimer that she does not agree with all that the Catholic Church teaches but she does agree with theteachings on morality.  . Who knows, maybe she'll actually attend Mass with me one day!
Attachment: St.Theresa.jpg (Downloaded 40 times)
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Kim M.
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 11th, 2008 |
| Location: | Georgia USA |
| Posts: | 415 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Assembly of God, Church of God, Assembly again, PCA, ... |
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Posted: Fri Apr 18th, 2008 03:29 pm |
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Wow! WWJD, that's tremendous! I think once those who hate Catholicism start looking into it for ammunition find out it's a beautiful thang full of the right stuff. I know I was shocked at how Christian the CC was  (although I never "hated" it).
Stop laughing! 
____________________
"A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
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CajunRick
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Posted: Sat Apr 19th, 2008 01:46 am |
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wwjd wrote: Who knows, maybe she'll actually attend Mass with me one day!
It will never happen unless you invite her over and over again. Invite her every Sunday. Just call and ask her if she wants to go with you. One day she will surprise you and agree to go.
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Cathcon
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| Joined: | Fri Feb 29th, 2008 |
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| First Name: | Marie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | I am now Catholic but used to be Dutch Reformed |
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Posted: Sat Apr 19th, 2008 01:45 pm |
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| Kim, two additional books I would recommend are Born Fundamentalist, Born again Catholic by David Currie and By what Authority, an Evangelical discovers Catholic Tradition - long name excellent book - by Mark Shea Oh and Crossing the Tiber by Steve Ray. All of these address perceived problems with the Church and then the grand discovery of what She really is - The Bride of Christ.
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Kim M.
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 11th, 2008 |
| Location: | Georgia USA |
| Posts: | 415 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Assembly of God, Church of God, Assembly again, PCA, ... |
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Posted: Sat Apr 19th, 2008 02:40 pm |
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Cathcon wrote: Kim, two additional books I would recommend are Born Fundamentalist, Born again Catholic by David Currie and By what Authority, an Evangelical discovers Catholic Tradition - long name excellent book - by Mark Shea Oh and Crossing the Tiber by Steve Ray. All of these address perceived problems with the Church and then the grand discovery of what She really is - The Bride of Christ.
Thanks Marie! I actually have the By What Authority book and the Crossing the Tiber book. I've not gotten David Currie's book yet.
You'd laugh if you saw how many books I've bought on the Catholic Church! They need their own shelf!
____________________
"A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
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Cathcon
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Posted: Sat Apr 19th, 2008 06:54 pm |
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| I know what you mean - I have my own little library in the spare room and my husband just shakes his head every time I get back from the bookshop or when the mail comes - I teach RCIA and confirmation though and feel that if I am going to teach, especially the younger ones, I better know what I am telling them because I will be held resposible one day for leading any astray - you know the old millstone around the neck - do not particularly want that.
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Kim M.
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 11th, 2008 |
| Location: | Georgia USA |
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| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Assembly of God, Church of God, Assembly again, PCA, ... |
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Posted: Sat Apr 19th, 2008 07:29 pm |
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Cathcon wrote: I know what you mean - I have my own little library in the spare room and my husband just shakes his head every time I get back from the bookshop or when the mail comes - I teach RCIA and confirmation though and feel that if I am going to teach, especially the younger ones, I better know what I am telling them because I will be held resposible one day for leading any astray - you know the old millstone around the neck - do not particularly want that.
Marie, I hope I have as dedicated an RCIA leader as you are. Good for you!
____________________
"A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
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Cathcon
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Posted: Sat Apr 19th, 2008 07:34 pm |
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| I am always here if you have any questions - any time - God bless you on your journey - having walked that way myself I can tell you it is full of discovery which brings a tremendous peace.
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