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How did you tell your spouse that you were thinking of converting?

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Flowerchild
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Joined:	Wed Oct 11th, 2006
Location:	Washington USA
Posts:	35
First Name:	Terri
Gender:	Female
Faith History:	Presbyterian to nothing to Lutheran to now Catholic
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Posted: Mon Dec 18th, 2006 02:50 am

Hi all,

I am somewhat stuck and could use some help. As it seems with many of the folks on this form, many of you have wrestled with having to tell your spouse that you are thinking of converting to Catholicism. For me, I just can't seem to bring the subject up with my husband. I am having the hardest time getting the words to come out of my mouth. Some of it comes from my belief that it will not go well, and the other is for all of the other unknowns. It makes my stomach hurt every time I even think about telling him. Writing this note even makes me feel a little queasy.

As I have looked back over much of my life I have always known were my religious home was, but about a year ago I was jolted into moving on this journey. Now I deeply feel that there is no stopping this rollercoaster that I am on. Someday I will have to write my story on the conversion page. God's mysterious ways can be very funny at times.

Some background info is that my husband come from a very strong Lutheran background and my side comes from a very non-religious (believers, but very distrustful of organized religion). Both sides will think that I have lost my mind. At first I used to think that my conversion could split my husband and myself apart. Now I don't think that would happen (I hope ), but I do foresee some rough roads. This rough road will come from many sides, but having my husbands support first is most important to me.

I should tell you that my original plan was to start going to a Catholic Bible Study and then ask my husband to join me. Which I know he would go with me if I asked. He loves bible history. The city that I live in seems to be very lacking in Catholic Bible Study at any Parish (20+.) RCIA I think would be a little threatening, more so than a bible study. I was hoping to warm him up to the idea of my possible conversion before going to a class that is about conversion.

I am asking that all of you brave folk who have far more nerve than I do; tell me how you brought up the subject of converting. I think that hearing a few stories may help me steel myself for the event. Did you take your spouse to a nice dinner and then spill? Were you at the dinner table and it just came up in conversation? How did you bring up this very difficult subject?

Thank you in advance for your replies. Good or bad I think hearing your stories will help me get my nerve up.

God Bless,

Flowerchild

____________________
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
St. Francis of Assisi

Darlene
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Joined:	Mon Oct 9th, 2006
Location:	Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA
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Posted: Mon Dec 18th, 2006 08:57 am

Dear Flowerchild,

I also am on journey toward the Catholic faith. I have not had to be concerned about the matter of telling my husband, because my husband discovered himself that I was on this journey. The first time he "found out" was when I received Catholic books in the mail. He was there when I received them. Since then, he has been at home when I received other things in the mail, such as a rosary from RosaryArmy.

If he hadn't found out that way, I think I would have told him. We are a very close couple and very open and honest with each other. It is difficult to tell you what to do in some regard because I don't know you and your husband personally. I don't know the "specifics." What kind of person is he? Reactionary? Calm? Emotional? Intellectual? I think you get my point here. You probably have some idea of how he will react, right?

First, I would encourage you to pray about this matter. Pray very seriously about it. And fast if you are able. These two acts will prepare you to meet this challenge. Read my post "My Journey is Out of the Closet" and others posts here as well. Each of us has our own unique story and yet there are similarities to all of our stories on this journey.

My husband reacted very harshly at first, but I wasn't surprised. Now I think he thinks I am just going through a phase. I take each day at a time and keep many things to myself, such as "new" discoveries about Catholic doctrine. At times I am amazed at various things that the Holy Spirit is showing me, as well as things I am learning about the Protestant faith and Reformation that I never knew before. Oddly enough, or perhaps not so odd, my husband has been bringing up his "beefs" with Catholicism quite a bit lately. In this case, he is opening the way for dialogue. If you are not ready and schooled enough to defend the Catholic faith, you may want to beware of attacks that will come from the opposition.

My goodness, there is so much to this journey of faith. But most importantly, pray and study. Study, to show yourself appoved unto God, a workman that needth not be ashamed, rightly dividing the Word of truth.

All of us will be available for you and be rest assured, many will be praying for you.

Love in Christ,

Darlene

____________________
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14

alaskafox
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Joined:	Mon Oct 9th, 2006
Location:	Palmer, Alaska USA
Posts:	14
First Name:	Debi
Gender:	Female
Faith History:	Evangelical for 25 years,Catholic since Easter 2006
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Posted: Tue Dec 19th, 2006 02:55 am

Hi Flowerchild,

I'm just a bit further down the road than you are--I came into the church officially at Easter Vigil this past year and actually started RCIA just a year ago on the first of Advent 2005.

Like many, I hemmed and hawed, wailed and procrastinated and got heaps and heaps of good encouragement from this board before I declared to my husband of almost 25 years that I felt bound to become a Roman Catholic.

My husband was born and raised a Southern Baptist. His father was a military chaplain for almost 30 years and a Southern Baptist minister before and after his military career. My family are militant anti-organized Christianity and the only thing worse than the Lutheranism of my mother's youth would be orthodox Catholicism. Unorthodox Catholics are OK--they are rebellious and mystical and fit in with the eastern and new age/pagan stuff that appeals to them. But Roman Catholic--by the book, following and, worse yet, believing that the Church and the pope have the right and the mandate to dictate (I use the word "guide" myself) issues of faith and morals and issue absolute statements . . . well, I should have just flung myself into the nearest ultra fundamental snake handling sect. It is especially unthinkable to become a Roman Catholic in this day and age--I'm too intelligent and well educated to become Catholic . . . and so on, and so on.

Only one person in my family has had the audacity to actually say any of this out loud, but it is what they're thinking and I know it because I thought that way too at one time. Not about Catholicism per se, but about any authoritative system or institution.

That was back when I knew everything.

Anyhow, how I did this was simple really. I just started to tell the truth. I left my pamphlets, my books, my leaflets, and eventually, my rosary, out on my nightstand and didn't hide them in a drawer. I openly checked this forum on the computer and shared when someone said something profound and insightful (which was often). I did not argue the things my family tossed toward me ("So, do you think it's right to worship Mary now?" "How can you pray to saints?" "How can you trust a priest that might be a pedophile?", etc.) I just responded when I had an honest answer and didn't respond when it was pain and confusion talking to me.

One night, after I had been watching EWTN for about a year and had been going to mass for about six months, I said to my husband, "I have no choice but to become a Catholic." By the time I said this out loud, my family had seen a great peace come over me in my spiritual life. I really have completely ceased feeling restless and burdened by questions that have not been answered. I have not had one question since I came into this body that has not been addressed. I am so grateful to God for this journey and I think that my family could also not ask me to give up my quest for spiritual wholeness. We have raised our children to be Christians--both of my kids are devoted believers, but are on a different walk than I am. I pray for them daily, but know that if it took me this long to get here, I need to practice faith, patience and prayer.

I don't know your situation, but I found that letting my husband watch and hear my journey (not overloading, but sharing it as things happened that were profound to me) went a long way. He supported my decision and my move into the church--he didn't come to Easter Vigil, but he came for my Rite of Initiation and the Rite of Acceptance, and spent Holy Thursday kneeling before the crucifix in my parish with me. I am blessed and amazed--I didn't think it would be so gentle.

Be brave and be strong--God is good.

Debi

Flowerchild
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Joined:	Wed Oct 11th, 2006
Location:	Washington USA
Posts:	35
First Name:	Terri
Gender:	Female
Faith History:	Presbyterian to nothing to Lutheran to now Catholic
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Posted: Thu Dec 21st, 2006 02:53 am

Thank you for your stories. It does help that others have gone through this. The thought of leaving your Rosary out, WOW! I bow to your braveness!

I should fill in some of the details about my journey. My husband and I have been married for 23 years, and they have been great years. Our marriage is strong. But this will certainly test just how strong.

When God decided that it was time for me to take this journey, I was so blown out of the water. I have never been a very religious person, but I do have good strong faith. So this very powerful, strong, deeply moving journey took me by surprise (which is an understatement).  I have tried many times to stop this journey throughout this last year. I have told myself that this is crazyness, and then I'll put the books aside that I have been reading, stopped listening to Catholic radio, etc and the next day I find myself reading and listening again.  I can’t even stay away for one day! When this strong awakening started I was beside myself and all I could think of is my husband wigging out, family disowning me etc. At the beginning I thought for sure that if I converted we would divorce. Now that I have had time to digest this journey myself, I don’t believe that it will be as server as I once thought. God has answered my prayers in helping me understand the journey and eased by very unsettled nerves.   I still find it very scary, with the unknown reactions. I am not one to argue or fight so the whole thought of creating any issue has me uneasy.

My husband and I grew up in very Catholic neighborhoods. I spent a lot of time at mass because most of my friends parents wanted us to go to mass before we would go out. My husbands best friend all through school (from grade school on) is Catholic. He lived across the street from one of the Catholic Church and the Priest was over at his friend’s house often. My husband went to Mass as much as he did the Lutheran church, but he still believes that the Lutheran church is the only church. The recent Catholic scandals have not helped. When we have discussed the scandals my husband just shudders, and then follows with "that church sure is in some trouble." We are sure that we have friends that are involved in the lawsuits and this saddens both of our hearts for the victims and the innocent.

Thank you Debi for your story about your family thinking that “you are too intelligent” to be Catholic in this day and age. My side of the family will be on this same track, but more on the lines of; “How could a liberal raised woman become a Catholic.” (I have to tell you that I still wrestle with that one myself. So many changing thoughts in a years time!) My mother’s family is half Catholic and half Jewish which has created its own issues. My mother is not a firm believer in any organized religion. She feels that organized religions are all a scam. She will be a hard sell.

I want you all to know that I am so happy that God has led me on this journey. I feel truly blessed that he wanted me to be with him, and he sought me out. It is a very humbling experience. There is not enough prayer to express my gratitude.

Thanks again for everyone’s support and prayers.   I continue to feel stronger as I read your stories. I know that in time, the right situation will make itself known.  I can only pray that my husband will be a part of this very fascinating journey. It is truly like starting a new chapter in my book, and I don’t want my husband to be missing from any chapter.

God Bless

Terri (aka - Flowerchild)

____________________
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
St. Francis of Assisi

Katy
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Joined:	Fri Sep 29th, 2006
Location:	DFW, Texas USA
Posts:	78
First Name:	Katy
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Posted: Thu Dec 21st, 2006 01:04 pm

I enjoyed chatting with you last night, Terri! I will be praying for you!

____________________
Lord, by Your cross and resurrection, You have set us free. You are the Savior of the World.

Darlene
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Joined:	Mon Oct 9th, 2006
Location:	Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA
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Posted: Thu Dec 21st, 2006 02:48 pm

Flowerchild,

I know about that feeling of crazyness - I get it all the time. And the "pendulum" feeling - back and forth. How can you pray the Rosary, that's crazy. I really desire to pray the Rosary. How can you believe in the Real Presence in the Holy Eucharist, that's cannabalism. Just the thought of receiving Jesus in the Holy Eucharist is exhilarating. You will never be happy in the Catholic Church, those Catholics are ignorant of their own doctrines and unable to defend their faith, AND they're anything but zealous for the Lord. How can you remain a Protestant now that you know the falacy of sola scriptura and sola fide? AND now that you know that the Reformation has resulted in a splintered, disunified group of churches, consisting of thousands of denominations and counting still? How will you know for sure that you are truly saved and going to Heaven if you become Catholic - perhaps the Devil is deceiving you because you are impressed by false religion. How can you believe any longer that a person is saved simply by saying a prayer? AND how can you believe that God has already predestined people to be saved or damned and there is nothing you can do about it? Can you really believe in Limited Atonement? How can you believe in the Communion of the Saints and praying to Mary. Aren't they dead and would any of them want that anyway? Yet the early church fathers believed in the Communion of the Saints as is testified in the Apostles Creed. AND what about the transfiguration? Moses and Elijah, who were no longer on this earth in bodily form, appeared to Jesus and spoke with Him.

And guess what Flowerchild, this is only a partial account of the crazyness that has been part of my struggle. I could add at least 25 or more arguments on both sides - back and forth. Now when I first heard about repenting of my sins and asking Jesus to forgive me and begin a new life with Him, I did have some inward struggles. But it was NOTHING like the inward struggles now when I think of becoming a Catholic.

Let us keep one another in prayer. We certainly need it!!

Love in Christ,

Darlene

____________________
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14

alaskafox
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Joined:	Mon Oct 9th, 2006
Location:	Palmer, Alaska USA
Posts:	14
First Name:	Debi
Gender:	Female
Faith History:	Evangelical for 25 years,Catholic since Easter 2006
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Posted: Thu Dec 21st, 2006 04:05 pm

Terri,

I smiled when I read about your attempt to put all this stuff away and to get on with things. I reacted that way at times too.

In retrospect, I think I've been on my way to Catholicism since the beginning, but I only really started seeing clear directions about two years ago. I began to devour everything seriously Catholic--I had to shelve some stuff for a while, especially some of the devotional practices. But I watched mass faithfully every day on TV and I bought stacks of books and read everything I could get my hands on. I found enormous comfort and depth in reciting the rosary and for the first four or five months, every time I would start reciting the rosary, I would cry. I so connected with Mary as a mother that it became an enormous source of consolation for me. My husband was startled by this--after I had been saying the rosary daily in my car for some time, I began to pray it at home and I began to fall asleep at night with the rosary in my hand. My husband noticed and initially recoiled from the whole thing, but eventually (just within a few months) he accepted it. My daughter, as I've shared here before, cried the first time she saw my rosary. Just a year later, she gave me a rosary for Christmas.

At the time that I embraced Catholicism, we were in flux as a family--we had just returned to the US and were building our home, our kids were preparing to leave home, we were without a church family and hadn't found a place we all agreed on. We had also just survived a family trauma which most families won't/don't survive involving one of our children. We had spent much of the early part of my journey toward the church just trying to survive as a family--not because we weren't committed to one another, but because the issue was so big and complex and painful. I sunk into suffering needing to find a meaning for it. I realized that my Protestant theology asked me to live through my pain with dignity, but the only thing my theology gave me in order to accomplish that was the exhortation to will and to determine my way through it--to get it over with. I was supposed to pray for deliverance from the pain. The problem was that my pain had no foreseeable end and I had to have an explanation that encompassed what I was experiencing--my pain had to have a purpose in and of itself. My pain had to have value for God--otherwise it was just plain cruel and unbearable.

I found the way to understand and live through suffering in Catholicism and its explanation/understanding of suffering. I never heard anyone talk about this prior to my need to hear it and then I began to hear/read discussions right and left in my reading and in mass that dealt with my need. That is how God works in my life. I shared what I had found, not the details, but the outcome with my husband. He was completely floundering emotionally and I did suddenly have strength that was inexplicable throughout our worst times. I am certain that this is the primary reason that he has been accepting of what's happened with me. We lived through our situation, but handled things quite differently. He says that I'm in a much better, healthier place than he is. I'm sure he sees the connection between my present state and the direction my faith has taken. It comes down to personal decisions and I pray for him that he find peace--I'm sure he could find it via the Catholic church, but I will support any forward movement he makes and will just be here for him as I have always been.

We've been happily and contentedly married for a long time and this is hard. We go to separate churches on Sundays. He is attending a non-denominational charismatic independent church. He likes the pastor and the church is big and dynamic. But, he doesn't make any move toward commitment and I see that as a sign that he's restless and unsure of where he belongs. My daughter used to attend church with him, but she's left home now and he's on his own. We meet up at a local deli and have lunch on Sundays and while it's not ideal, it's what we've got and we're OK with it. I was sad about our situation for a long time, but I'm not as sad anymore. We are being honest and we are still united in our love for each other.

Sorry for the long explanation, but my point is that if love is uniting you from the beginning, love will transcend even the difficulties of being called down different roads. I like what Betty shared about her brothers (on another thread)--that's real love--supporting someone's best efforts and understanding of what God is speaking to them. That's not compromise, it's respect for the other and putting the other ahead of yourself.

I hope this resolves peacefully for you. Even if it's not a "happily ever after," I am so grateful for how my journey has been so far.

Debi

Last edited on Thu Dec 21st, 2006 04:07 pm by alaskafox

Darlene
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Location:	Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA
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Posted: Thu Dec 21st, 2006 04:36 pm

Thanks for sharing with us, Alaskafox (Debi).

I would like to give you and all others here some encouragement from a song by Michael Card, that has helped me through many a difficulty. He is a Protestant brother that writes very worshipful, inspirational music that glorifies God.

There is a joy in the journey, there's a Light we can love on the way.

There is a wonder and wildness to life, and freedom for those who obey.

And all those who seek it shall find it, a pardon for all who believe

Hope for the hopeless and sight for the blind

To all who've been born of the Spirit, and who share incarnation with Him

Who belong to eternity stranded in time and weary of struggling with sin

Forget not the hope that's before you and never stop counting the cost

Remember the hopelessness when you were lost

There is a joy in the journey, there's a Light you can love on the way

There is a wonder and wildness to life and freedom for those who obey. And freedom for those who obey.

God Bless Each and Everyone of You,

Darlene

____________________
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14

anfan
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Posted: Fri Dec 22nd, 2006 03:35 am

Darlene wrote:

I know about that feeling of crazyness - I get it all the time. And the "pendulum" feeling - back and forth. How can you pray the Rosary, that's crazy. I really desire to pray the Rosary. How can you believe in the Real Presence in the Holy Eucharist, that's cannabalism. Just the thought of receiving Jesus in the Holy Eucharist is exhilarating. You will never be happy in the Catholic Church, those Catholics are ignorant of their own doctrines and unable to defend their faith, AND they're anything but zealous for the Lord. How can you remain a Protestant now that you know the falacy of sola scriptura and sola fide? AND now that you know that the Reformation has resulted in a splintered, disunified group of churches, consisting of thousands of denominations and counting still? How will you know for sure that you are truly saved and going to Heaven if you become Catholic - perhaps the Devil is deceiving you because you are impressed by false religion. How can you believe any longer that a person is saved simply by saying a prayer? AND how can you believe that God has already predestined people to be saved or damned and there is nothing you can do about it? Can you really believe in Limited Atonement? How can you believe in the Communion of the Saints and praying to Mary. Aren't they dead and would any of them want that anyway? Yet the early church fathers believed in the Communion of the Saints as is testified in the Apostles Creed. AND what about the transfiguration? Moses and Elijah, who were no longer on this earth in bodily form, appeared to Jesus and spoke with Him.

And guess what Flowerchild, this is only a partial account of the crazyness that has been part of my struggle. I could add at least 25 or more arguments on both sides - back and forth. Now when I first heard about repenting of my sins and asking Jesus to forgive me and begin a new life with Him, I did have some inward struggles. But it was NOTHING like the inward struggles now when I think of becoming a Catholic.

In one of my favorite Journey Home episodes, Lutheran convert Msgr. Stuart Swetland addresses this problem. When he was on his journey to the Church, a Catholic friend challenged him:

"He saw that I was studying all these issues and he said to me, 'Stuart, you can study from now until the day you die -- everything the Church teaches. And you may actually get to the point where you agree with everything the Church teaches. It won't make you Catholic.' He said, 'The one thing that will make you Catholic is for you to believe that the Catholic Church is who she says she is.' He said, 'If the Church is who she says she is -- and she says she is the Church founded by Jesus Christ, with everything God intended for our sanctification and salvation -- if you believe that, you must become Catholic. If that truth is not something you can believe, then you can never become Catholic. Because it would be wrong; because then the Church wouldn't be what she says she is.' And that really was like a lightening bolt to me because I realized it wasn't about agreeing with all the teachings of the Church. It was believing the Church is who she says she is. And then if that's true, then her teachings are true. And then I can have the 'faith seeking understanding.' I can believe and then seek to understand these Truths as revelations from God." -- Msgr. Stuart Swetland, The Journey Home (6/14/2004)

Pax

"I can be obedient because it is my fundamental conviction that my intelligence is limited and the Church is wiser" -- Pope Benedict XVI

Darlene
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Posted: Fri Dec 22nd, 2006 02:27 pm

Yes Anfan,

I understand exactly what you are saying. And recently, within the last week, I have been hearing a voice within me saying " You must receive with FAITH that what the Catholic Church teaches is Truth." And the truth be known, I have never accepted all the Protestant teachings of the denominations I belonged to at the time.

If you have read some of my posts, you know that I have been on a lengthy journey and attended various churches. While I was in the church that became a cult, I stayed there for three years knowing that God's spirit no longer resided there. I had a spiritual experience in which Jesus spoke to me and told me that He had left that fellowship. I stayed because I didn't want to leave my husband. Then I attended a Pilgrim Holiness Church and never really believed in the "Second Blessing" or Sanctification as they taught it. Then the Wesleyan Church, and I didn't believe in all their teachings either. Then the Assemblies of God, and I didn't believe in their teachings on the Rapture/Second Coming. Then the Reformed Baptist Church, and I didn't agree with them on their teachings of the gifts of the Spirit - they believed it was only for the age of the Apostles. And I always had a problem with "Tulip," the Five Points of Calvinism.

Now why did I go through all of that spiel? Well, thinking about it, I never thought I had to believe in everything that a denomination taught in order to be a member or part of that denomination. So recently, I was thinking about all of the doctrines and teachings of the Catholic Church that I must be able to completely understand before I become a Catholic. And then I thought about all of the studying that would require (which I don't have a problem with). But then I thought, what if I accept most every Catholic teaching except one or a few? What will I do? And then I thought, what if I become a Catholic and find out afterward that there is a teaching that I can't accept?

Needless to say, one can go round and round in the head and go crazy. But in the midst of this mental struggle, I heard that voice within me saying, "You must receive by Faith the teachings of the Catholic faith." And I believe this is the Holy Spirit guiding me into His truth. I have been praying for several months that God lead me into all the truth, and if the Catholic Church does not teach Jesus' Truth, (for He said "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life), that the Holy Spirit show me. I have been asking continually that the Lord lead me into His Truth.

So finally it really does come down to faith no matter how much the intellect is involved. And I tend to be a "mind" person that wants to understand everything before I commit. But yes, finally I must accept that the Catholic Church is who she says she is. I must believe and accept that by faith.

Darlene

____________________
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14

twiggymoo
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Posted: Tue Dec 26th, 2006 03:05 pm

I haven't told my spouse yet. But for the last week, I have been thinking about telling. A few years ago, I tried to tell her but she got angry, so I backed off. She is another cradle Catholic that never knew who Jesus was until she was invited to a Protestant revival service many years ago. We both went to that service and were both 'converted'. Now it's been over 30 years but I know I need to talk to her about it. I mean I am on these forums and learning all about the faith and can't share what I learn with her. It is unfair both for her and for me. For her because I am doing this in secret without her knowledge. I sometimes think I should abandon the pursuit, but my love for the Church is too strong.

MitchyMitch
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Posted: Tue Dec 26th, 2006 03:27 pm

It was probably the easy part for me.

I pulled my wife away from the Catholic Church when we got married and started a family. I was raised Baptist, and Baptists we were to be.

In questioning my faith and what it means to be a true Christian in thought and in deed, as well as personally coming to terms with minor controversies and theological differences between what I know is true and what was being preached from the local church's pulpit, I became aware of God's calling me to the Catholic Church.

When I told my wife, she was a little shocked (I was the one who said our child would never set foot in the Catholic Church), but when she told her family, they were so relieved and told her they had been praying for this for years! That made things a lot easier.

____________________
Pax,
Mitch

twiggymoo
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Posted: Tue Dec 26th, 2006 03:38 pm

Mitchy,

You mentioned God calling you to the Catholic Church. Yes, I can also identify with that. Very early on after our conversion experience, whenever I was near a Catholic Church I felt drawn to it. Also, being a singer (opera style), I always dreamed about singing a beautiful sacred song in a Catholic Church. Wonderful how God has worked in your life to bring your family to the Church.

Darlene
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Posted: Tue Dec 26th, 2006 03:47 pm

Greetings All,

The other night, actually Christmas Eve, I knew I had to speak with my husband about my desire and journey toward the Catholic faith. I began by saying something to the effect that I'm sure he is aware that I am going through some inward changes. I relayed to him my struggles within Protestantism, ie. the many splits, the contradicting doctrines, etc. I even mentioned that Martin Luther was very disappointed near the end of his life at what the Reformation had produced, that is, "little popes." I also told him that I have been afraid to speak with him about this because I haven't wanted to upset him or trouble him. Basically, all went very well. I think it was the right timing.

Actually, I know it was the right timing because my husband first started telling me that he has been going through a most unusual spiritual battle, unlike anything he has gone through before. He said that lately, within the last few weeks, he has been hearing voices that are trying to convince him that his faith is not valid. That his faith is not something that he can actually prove. He said he knows that it is the Devil trying to convince him that God isn't real and his faith is in vain. He knows that it is an evil spirit out to convince him to deny his faith in God. And he said that these voices have been coming into his head regularly, on a daily basis. Such as while he is working, driving in the car, at home, etc.

So, after he confided in me about his struggles, I knew the Holy Spirit had opened a door for me to confide in him about my struggles. And after I confided in him, he didn't try to argue with me or defend Protestantism. In fact, he seeemed genuinely humble and more open than I have ever seen him, since I have been on this journey toward the Catholic faith.

May the Lord Bless each one of us on our journey and may He bless our spouses as well. May their hearts be opened with curiosity toward the Catholic faith and toward our journey as well.

Love in Christ,

Darlene

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The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14

Flowerchild
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Posted: Wed Dec 27th, 2006 01:20 am

Hi all,

Sorry I have not responded sooner, it has been such a crazy 2 weeks. Tonight I finally have a moment to collect myself and thoughts, and better yet the house to myself. I have been reading and wanting to thank all of you for your prayers and support. The stories have been wonderful to hear and very helpful. I am hoping that my tongue and mouth will engage soon, so I can be free of this unnerving situation.

It is funny to think that a year ago I thought I was going nuts, but now I have adapted to my journey and have privately embraced it. I know that when I finally get the nerve up, and start to tell my family and friends they will eventually learn to embrace my journey and decision also. It is just so hard for me to make the next step. Maybe now that Christmas is over I can start the dialog. To me it seems like it may be a little less complicated now that Christmas has passed.

Twiggymoo, I know what you are going through. Every time I think I can bring up some benign topic about Catholicism, something comes up in our local paper about the Catholic Church and its recent problems. I am unsure if our area has been hit any harder than any other, but it seems that for most of the Summer and the Fall there has been some kind of article or front page story about the church. Now the articles seem a little less frequent, but things are not settled around here. There will be more to come for sure. When my husband reads these articles he always makes the comment "The Catholic Church is in some kind of trouble", or "They really have some problems." It hard for me to follow with "Oh by the way, I am thinking of converting." Timing is everything! I should also tell you that my husband and I were shocked when all of this ugliness came out. One of the Priests that was named in this tragic situation was a Priest that both of us knew well. We also know some of the people who are filing suit against the church. My husband and I both have a very heavy heart for both the victims and the innocent in this very tragic situation. Even with this said it still does not make this announcement of my journey toward the Catholic Church very easy. I too hope that someday I will be able to share what I am reading and learning about the church with my husband. I can not imagine how fun that will be. I will pray for you that the right time to tell your wife will be soon.

Debi and Darlene, thanks so much for sharing your stories. They have really touched me, and your words are giving the gentle nudge that I need.

God Bless and I hope all have had a very Blessed Christmas!

Terri

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Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
St. Francis of Assisi

twiggymoo
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Posted: Wed Dec 27th, 2006 01:18 pm

Sometimes I think I am going nuts too, that the Catholic Church seems to good to be true. I can't avail myself to the sacraments, except of desire. I am in this lifeboat called protestant fundamentalism subsisting on rations while in the distance I can see the barque of St Peter imagining the banquets and hearing the beautiful music while I thirst going nowhere, adrift at the whim of the lifeboat captain who tells me that it is only a mirage and will fall of the edge of the earth because it is going in the wrong direction. My close traveling companion agrees with the lifeboat captain. After all, we see the horizon and St Peter's going off in that direction into the abyss. But what is really beyond that horizon? And where are we headed? There are sharks in the water, otherwise, I'd swim because I don't want to go where the lifeboat is headed. There are many other lifeboats swirling around in every direction I look and they are going nowhere as well. I have heard that Steve Ray uses the analogy I've described here - but I think it is very relevant to our journeys. May God continue to lead us and bless our families.

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Posted: Wed Dec 27th, 2006 02:04 pm

I, too, appreciate that lifeboat analogy. I think it's perfect! Thousands of little lifeboats, all attached to the mother ship, but thinking they're independent. Like a little rat, I'm making my way along the lines to the big boat....

Jill

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"I praise you, for I am wondrously made. Wonderful are our works! My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret." Ps 139
"Guard me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men." Ps 140

Linda S.
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Posted: Mon Jan 15th, 2007 05:07 pm

My 'reconversion' story began about 1992. My husband was very nervous about my needing to be Catholic again, so I lived a 'double life' for many years (going to the Protestant church as a family, and going to Mass on my own when I could....not ideal but the Lord meets us where we are and He understands.) I would bring our sons to Mass with me on occasion, but my husband feared I would confuse them.

The long and short of it: 1 son in now Catholic, another is on his way into the Church....and miracles of miracles, my husband joined the Church this past Easter vigil. Our third son will join one of these days, I believe in my heart....

These intervening years have been full of prayer. Several dear friends kept reminding me to pray the Rosary, saying 'wonderful things happen when you pray the Rosary.' (I bought a quiet, rope-like rosary that I would bring to bed....I don't think my husband ever fully realized...)

Was it difficult? Yes! I doubted myself many times, but felt such a strong pull to the Eucharist that I couldn't deprive myself.

Keep praying. Be honest to your husband, but prepare that at times it will be a tough journey. The refinement will make you a better Christian.

With the blessings of the Lord,

Linda S.

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Posted: Mon Jan 15th, 2007 05:16 pm

Linda S. wrote: My 'reconversion' story began about 1992.
Linda, welcome to CHN. Many others are currently on a journey very similar to the one you recount, although most have not reached a resolution. I know your contributions here will be valuable. Thanks for dropping by.

Darlene
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Posted: Mon Jan 15th, 2007 07:37 pm

Hello Everyone,

I began RCIA last Sunday, January 7th. I will not be joining the Catholic Church this Easter Vigil because the timing is too soon and I need to study and pray a lot more! For one thing, my husband doesn't yet know that I went to RCIA two times already. I just can't bring myself to tell him for I know it will break his heart. Yes, he does know that I am studying about the Catholic faith at home. But that is quite a different matter than actually taking classes to become a Catholic.

Lately I have been feeling like a hypocrite at church. No one knows that I am interested in the Catholic faith and I feel as though I am putting on a front sometimes. Each Sunday, it becomes increasingly more difficult for me to sit in the pew and listen to the sermons. Yesterday, the pastor reminded the congregation that there is only one mediator between God and man and that we don't need a priest to confess our sins to, only God. And then he said something that even my husband disagreed with. He said that confessing our sins to another person may be psychologically helpful but only God can really forgive us.

Later in the day my husband and I were discussing this comment and I said, "The Bible says that we should confess our sins one to another and pray for one another that we may be healed. So it isn't just psychologically helpful - it is SPIRITUALLY helpful." My husband agreed and said that we need to confess our sin to a brother or sister that we have wronged and ask for their forgiveness - that this is a scriptual mandate. And that if we don't we are not worthy to take communion." I was so glad to hear him say that.

This journey toward the Catholic faith is not easy yet at the same time, I sense God giving me graces I never experienced before. Praise His name!

Darlene

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The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14

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Posted: Tue Jan 16th, 2007 02:30 am

I am emersed in reading all the posts on this thread. I can identify with you all. The only difference is I was the Protestant and my husband, a cradle Roman Catholic. I never ever dreamed myself to be a Catholic. After all, I was born and raised a Methodist and disagreed so much with the teachings of the Catholic Church such as "worshiping" Mary, praying to dead Saints, praying the rosary, and the Pope was a big issue. After Sonny and I were married and for only 2 years, I had influence on my Catholic husband and we attended the Church of Christ for 3 years. (We thought it to be an independent church,somewhere inbetween).   It took a few years before we began to feel uncomfortable with the very non-traditional worship practices.(No music allowed except for accapello(sp) singing) I had my traditional Methodism and Sonny, his Catholic tradition. After a few years, I began noticing how the Holy Spirit or the Trinity was never mentioned. The Pastor was a powerful and well learned Bible teacher (Dr. of Theology) and we loved him. His sermons were great but I kept noticing he never spoke of the Holy Spirit in his sermons sunday after sunday. There was communion every Sunday and Sonny felt comfortable with this and even served, but we both knew something was just not right. I was disturbed about The Holy Spirit being left out and brought it to Sonny's attention. He had not noticed as myself but decided to listen for this....when he did, he agreed. As we attended service every Sunday we became amazed it took us this long to realize The Holy Spirit being left out.  God's Holy Spirit is the power and the third person of the Trinity.  Yet He was never mentioned or acknowledged. I got my nerve up and called our pastor to ask 'Why'? He spoke to me of the Holy Spirit as being more mystical and we can interpret it anyway we want. He said The Holy Spirit was not mentioned that much in the Bible. This did it for me. I got out my concordance and saw just how much Jesus and His powerful Holy Spirit was mentioned. The Holy Spirit is Jesus' Spirit He left for us to bring us comfort and power to live our Christian lives.  I was shocked to hear our beloved (Doctor) Minister say this. I now felt scared believing Sonny and I had been drawn into a cult religion. It was close to Easter. On Easter Sunday, Sonny asked me, "What church do you want to go to today?" I said "You pick it." He chose St Peter The Apostle Catholic Church. Not realizing how huge the congregation was, we got there in time for standing room only and we stood throughout the entire mass. But this was ok.

I felt so at home here...for what reason, I was not sure at the time. But I could see Sonny was at home. There was printed in the Bulletin something about RCIA.  We began attending every sunday and I became more and more interested in RCIA to check out the Catholic Church. Sonny said if I wanted to investigate the Catholic Church he would attend RCIA with me which he did faithfully every Tuesday night. Many misconceptions I had regarding the Catholic church were totally cleared up during my RCIA classes. The meeting was opened up with scripture.  The rest is history and I am happy to say I began my Catholic journey not only attending RCIA but watching Father Corapi on EWTN on Sat. and Sun. evenings, reading Scott Hahn's book, Rome Sweet Home, etc. And Mother Angelica!

In conclusion, I can only say the Bible is the authority but traditition needs to never be left out, which Protestants do. I am learning the Bible only is not enough...tradition brings it all together and this is where Jesus and His authority is found. Also, the Eucharist(Christ Himself) has become so important to me.  Communion was always important for me as I partook once a month in the Methodist church in my youth. My father being a Methodist Minister, always told me to be sure to confess my sins before partaking of communion because it was a serious moment and not to be taken lightly and surely it is.

I am finding so much richness in the Catholic faith. I love the fact I can go to confession. This is so important to clear up my daily sins that I have always had a tendency to scruff under the rug. But now, I can go and confess my sins before attending mass and partaking. I love tradition and the truth of the Catholic faith.

I feel I have rambled on here but just want all those searching to not give up the search in fear of your spouse. Be quiet in your search and know The Holy Spirit will guide you and will bring comfort also to your husband who will begin knowing you are doing the right thing.

I am still trying to get with saying the Rosary and asking Mary to pray with me...It is a slow process with me and cannot wait till my heart is there completely.

I must say, this board has been such a huge guidance for me. When I first joined several years ago I was very belligerant and against the Catholic Church but there was a sweet girl who took me on. She sent me a mother of pearl rosary she made for me herself. This made a huge impression on me though I put it aside.

Please dear devout Catholics here pray for me to practice praying the rosary and to do it daily.

Never give up your journey...you are on the right path. God bless you all!

CajunRick
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Posted: Tue Jan 16th, 2007 02:51 am

Liza wrote: I am still trying to get with saying the Rosary and asking Mary to pray with me...It is a slow process with me and cannot wait till my heart is there completely.

You have a great story, Liza. Thanks for sharing it with us. As for our Blessed Mother, ask her to help you to understand. As our Gospel last Sunday showed us, the last words she is recorded as speaking in scripture are, "Do whatever he tells you." Mary always brings us perfectly to Jesus. She is our perfect prayer partner because she magnifies the Love of Christ perfectly to us.

Liza
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Posted: Tue Jan 16th, 2007 03:53 am

Thank you Rick. You are my mentor. It is amazing to me how I have come to this point in my journey. I am at home and so grateful for you and this board.

David W. Emery
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Posted: Tue Jan 16th, 2007 02:08 pm

When I first joined [the CHN Forum] several years ago I was very belligerant and against the Catholic Church.
I remember your early posts, Liza. In the course of a year or so, you turned 180 degrees. I don’t credit the forum for this, but your husband and the lady you mention. God was leading Sonny back to his true home, and you learned to trust God’s guidance through his need.

I can understand your concern over the Church of Christ pastor’s de-emphasis of the Trinity. Methodism is strongly Trinitarian, and this background helped you notice the difference.

I, too, was raised Methodist, and was shocked when I was being readied at age 12 to “join the church” (at that time, even though the Methodist Church accepted infant baptism, it did not count children as full members; this was changed in the year 2000) and given study materials which claimed that “God was in Jesus, but Jesus was not God.” This is not biblical — in fact, it is a revival of the ancient Arian heresy, as I found out later in a Christian history book — and it was one of the things that started me on the search for truth that eventually led me to the Catholic Church. (I should mention here that Christ’s divinity is actually recognized by the United Methodist Church, as also by its predecessor, The Methodist Church, which I attended, so the texts I was given to study were not even good Methodism. But I can only relate what actually took place. My point is that, no matter what the denomination, funny things are sometimes taught in the name of Christianity.)

As to Mary and the rosary, it took me a couple of years after entering the Church to feel comfortable. I think this is true of most converts. It takes time for the heart has to catch up to the mind and practice to realign to conviction.

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