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A Little Anxiety.
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brian
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 Posted: Mon Mar 26th, 2007 03:51 pm

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I have been sure for a long time of my wish to enter the church, but as the day draws near, I definitely start to feel a little fear and anxiety. I wonder, what if I forgot something. What if a month later I realize I don't believe something essential. I worry maybe God will ask me to wait till I am 100% sure. What if the time is wrong?  I almost wonder if just to test me or for some unknown reason what if it pleased God for me to join later. Is this typical? I mean, the idea of making the decision permanent is exciting but also one I want to be positive I made in clear conscience. What if I become Catholic and then because I am such a doubter feel unsure that I should have. Of course if I did not then I would be filled with fear that I disobeyed what I clearly felt led to.

Anyway, an hour in aoration helped me so much and I could sense God calling me to trust him, that I would be given all the peace and grace I would need to follow through with things.

It's just that the Church is something I have had so many negative thoughts about throughout my life and it is hard to jump in knowing that there are some areas of my mind that suffer from my previous anti-Catholicism.  

But looking back over the past year it seems God not only did not discourage me from the journey, but seemd to overcome every obstacle and provided many graces along the way. And most importantly, as much as I want this to be such an emotionally rewarding time, I think hthe important thing is that I obey and follow through with what God has shown me. Whether I feel good or great or scared, I think the important thing is to follow Jesus and worrly as least as possible.

Yes, I am very sure, but a little fearful. I suppose this is normal. How is everyone else feeling.


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JillD
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 Posted: Mon Mar 26th, 2007 04:58 pm

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When I occasionally have that 'What am I DOING?' feeling, the next question is 'Where else would I go??'  If it's not the Catholic Church, then, to my way of thinking, I might as well go back to being a heathen and 'eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.'  There is nowhere else to go.  The Church holds eternal life like NOWHERE else.

Just my approach...

Jill



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Darlene
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 Posted: Mon Mar 26th, 2007 07:44 pm

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brian wrote: I have been sure for a long time of my wish to enter the church, but as the day draws near, I definitely start to feel a little fear and anxiety. I wonder, what if I forgot something. What if a month later I realize I don't believe something essential. I worry maybe God will ask me to wait till I am 100% sure. What if the time is wrong?  I almost wonder if just to test me or for some unknown reason what if it pleased God for me to join later. Is this typical? I mean, the idea of making the decision permanent is exciting but also one I want to be positive I made in clear conscience. What if I become Catholic and then because I am such a doubter feel unsure that I should have. Of course if I did not then I would be filled with fear that I disobeyed what I clearly felt led to.
Brian, I truly can relate.  Although I will not be entering the Catholic Church this Easter, I have already projected myself into the scenario you presented. What if, after becoming Catholic, I would find out some horrible doctrine that I could not believe. Or what if I discovered that I don't want to be Catholic after all.  So I can empathize with you.
Anyway, an hour in aoration helped me so much and I could sense God calling me to trust him, that I would be given all the peace and grace I would need to follow through with things.

It's just that the Church is something I have had so many negative thoughts about throughout my life and it is hard to jump in knowing that there are some areas of my mind that suffer from my previous anti-Catholicism.  

But looking back over the past year it seems God not only did not discourage me from the journey, but seemd to overcome every obstacle and provided many graces along the way. And most importantly, as much as I want this to be such an emotionally rewarding time, I think hthe important thing is that I obey and follow through with what God has shown me. Whether I feel good or great or scared, I think the important thing is to follow Jesus and worrly as least as possible.

Yes, I am very sure, but a little fearful. I suppose this is normal. How is everyone else feeling.

God Bless You Brian, on these last challenging legs of your journey toward becoming Catholic.

Darlene



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susiedear
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 Posted: Mon Mar 26th, 2007 07:47 pm

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Dear Brian, Like you, I am preparing to enter the Church this Easter.  Like you, I feel a bit of trepidation from time to time.  This is a huge change and it is normal (I think) to feel some nervousness.  But what you said about being in Adoration helps considerably.  Just imagine how great it will be to receive all the graces that come through the Church?  For me, looking towards the future makes any anxiety melt away.

May you know the peace of God as you await Easter!

Elizabeth



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RSWinCO
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 Posted: Tue Mar 27th, 2007 12:03 am

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Hi Brian,

I'm having exactly the same feelings of anxiety that you related.  I keep thinking I that I might have missed something or that later I will decide it was the wrong move.  This isn't an easy journey, even when you believe with both your heart and intellect that it's the right one.

It would be much easier for me to just stay where I am, but I believe the Holy Spirit is at work and actively calling me home to the Catholic Church.  I'll pray for proper discernment on your part and ask you and everyone else here to pray for me as well.  God's Peace.



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CajunRick
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 Posted: Tue Mar 27th, 2007 12:40 am

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RSWinCO wrote: It would be much easier for me to just stay where I am, but I believe the Holy Spirit is at work and actively calling me home to the Catholic Church.  I'll pray for proper discernment on your part and ask you and everyone else here to pray for me as well.  God's Peace.


First of all, welcome to our forum.  We're glad to have you here with us, and we'll support you any way we can.

It can be difficult to be shaken out of our "comfort zone" but that's exactly what Jesus came to do.  We will keep you in prayer, as we are doing for all who are joining the Church at the Easter Vigil.



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GoFisher
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 Posted: Tue Mar 27th, 2007 01:03 am

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I was unsure what The Lord wanted me to do even three days before confirmation day.  I knew God gave me various signs AS and IN The Eucharist and spoke to me too, so I figured that was a sign to keep going toward The Church (Easter Vigil and eve of pope first birthday in that office 15 APR 06).  I am still discovering why, but must continue to trust The Lord, as you also do.

Adoration time with The Blessed Sacrament helped me too.  Also here is the big question from the interview I had before confirmation:  "do you believe in the authority of the pope?"  Yes, I always have.  (I naively thought he was the head of all churches, but maybe, really he is, but some don't know it yet).  "Then, whenever you have a question about your faith, you just find out what he says about it."  By this, he means that you have the resources of The Church, various documents, of course The Bible and the Catechism, and your local priests.

I had the same fear that Darlene mentioned about not knowing everything.  Good news is that learning is a life long process.  Just think of all the kids who have their first Communion in 2d grade, but continue on to learn more before they are confirmed with the grace of ministry (to go ye everywhere).  Boldness of preaching The Gospel is a fruit of the Sacrament of Confirmation.  Holiness is a fruit of The Sacrament of The Eucharist.

You will not "feel" as if you are Catholic for maybe a few years after confirmation.  When folks ask me what religion I am, I have to think a bit, because Catholic does not just roll off my tongue so quickly yet.  Getting better at that too.  This continues in spite of the many miracles I've experienced during Adoration and contemplation.  Still a work in progress, as we all are.

We can be Catholic AND saved!  :cool:


Last edited on Tue Mar 27th, 2007 01:21 am by GoFisher



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GoFisher
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 Posted: Tue Mar 27th, 2007 01:26 am

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Also, I had much more at stake than just where to worship.  Now, I have cut off my chances paid pastor positions, and also musical worship leader positions at other ecclesial bodies.  I am also having a difficult time being hired for Catholic jobs.  I feel I need to be surrounded by Catholics in order to maintain my new religion, and need to teach Church doctrine in order to remember it.  I have been unemployed for nearly two years, and some of my former pastor(s) are not very happy with me.

Still, I had to obey The Lord.  We are supposed to be God-pleasers, not man-pleasers.  So, while I still do not know why, I still must press on, practicing apologetics at every opportunity and still keep praying and applying.  Can I get paid for praying and singing?  :)



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Love, hear + obey God: go fish! (me)
+ The Word became flesh... (St. John 1:14)
Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. (St. Jerome)
+ Follow Me... fishers of men. (St. Matthew quotes The Lord Jesus)

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GoFisher
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 Posted: Tue Mar 27th, 2007 01:33 am

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The Catholic Church is the original church, and is the only place where you can:

visit and/or partake of The Body and Soul, Blood and Divinity of Christ Jesus in The Eucharist and The Blessed Sacrament;

get spiritual bath by confession and absolution;

ask saints (including Queen Mother Mary) to pray for you since they are already in Heaven near God's throne and ear;

get help of various sacramentals (including holy water and blessed medals) for combating evil spirits;

have a chance to redeem yourself in the purging area if not already totally holy and detached from the world by the time you leave your earthly body;

read The Bible (with all the books) that was compiled by The Church;

meet radically, sold-out-to-Jesus people who have devoted their lives to becoming holy; and preaching The Word daily.







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Love, hear + obey God: go fish! (me)
+ The Word became flesh... (St. John 1:14)
Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. (St. Jerome)
+ Follow Me... fishers of men. (St. Matthew quotes The Lord Jesus)

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Ali
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 Posted: Tue Mar 27th, 2007 09:29 am

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{{{hugs}}} and prayers for everyone here as the day draws near!!

How exciting for all of you :D

Ali


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RSWinCO
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 Posted: Wed Mar 28th, 2007 02:34 pm

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Rick,

I noticed here that most of us have belonged to more than one denomination, some quite a few.  I think it's safe to say we are all searching.

You mentioned that you teach RCIA at your parish.  In your experience, do most converts like us (coming from Protestant denominations) usually remain Catholic after converting, or do many keep searching.  I realize this is probably a hard question to answer, as I'm sure you don't stay in contact with everyone, but am interested in what you've observed.

Thanks



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CajunRick
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 Posted: Wed Mar 28th, 2007 02:53 pm

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RSWinCO wrote: You mentioned that you teach RCIA at your parish.  In your experience, do most converts like us (coming from Protestant denominations) usually remain Catholic after converting, or do many keep searching.
My experience is that they not only remain Catholic, but remain faithful, joyful Catholics very active in their faith.  The only person who has gone through my RCIA program and subsequently left the faith (that I am aware of) joined in the first place only to get a discount on Catholic school tuition, and was truly agnostic from the start.  A week after she joined the Church, she described it as "playing Catholic".

There have been those who have become inactive Catholics, but they are a very small minority.

 



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RSWinCO
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 Posted: Wed Mar 28th, 2007 03:11 pm

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Very encouraging.  Thanks, Rick.



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sweetyface17
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 Posted: Thu Mar 29th, 2007 12:03 am

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Brian, it's like you're reading my mind. I'm slightly terrified, and I haven't even attended RCIA yet. But then, I pray the Rosary or something, and I'm at peace. I too, am a chronic doubter. It doesn't seem to matter how much grace God gives me, I still blindly stumble along, banging off the walls as I go. Hey look, it's a case of the blind leading the blind! ;) (P.S.- You can't be banned from this forum for unbearably bad jokes, can you? :P)


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CajunRick
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 Posted: Thu Mar 29th, 2007 12:25 am

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sweetyface17 wrote: (P.S.- You can't be banned from this forum for unbearably bad jokes, can you? :P)
Only if they're off-topic.



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examinnfaith
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 Posted: Tue Apr 3rd, 2007 07:11 pm

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Thank goodness, I read the forum today!  I am so doubtful at this point that I was going to post to see if I was the only one feeling these doubts on the Tuesday before Easter Vigil!!  What a crazy time to feel doubtful, having spent the two entire years doing that which my name implies!!

I, too, agree that if it is not The Church, we are truly lost!!

Thanks to all for the postings, so that I can know that I am not alone! Whew!!!:?


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brian
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 Posted: Tue Apr 3rd, 2007 10:50 pm

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That is the truth guys. We have to realize that it is impossible to have every question answered. But if we look at what God has done and taught us it iss amazing that we can know as much as we can know. I am amazed I was able to go so far trusting a faith I would try to talk people out of, but I am now also amazed that anyone clings to anything but the church. It has its difficulties to understand and accept, but once we stop resisiting and start trusting it proves itself over and over.

So I have had a crazy week, but God is getting me through. I can't say enough for staying in prayer and letting Him reassure our hearts. I would encourage us all to move forward unless we simply could not in good conscience do so or actually realized there was something else we truly trusted in. I think the type of nerves we face are probably common with any big decision and possibly a little bit of attack from the evil one or just our own inability to relax and trust (in my case perhaps, i won't accuse anyone else). God got us this far, and I think were we on the wrong track or one we could not see through for whatever reason, we would have started to see it long ago. Exciting times.

But I certainly can not imagine ever going back to a church without the apostolic authority and historical and doctrinal continuity and the love and peace and beauty and tradition that we are all about to inherit. Nothing else makes sense, but it is not only right to become Catholic because everything else seems difficult to trust, but rather because it is the fullness of truth and the love of God calling us home.

 


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GoFisher
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 Posted: Wed Apr 4th, 2007 08:10 pm

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Wow!  You (examinin...) have similar churches in your background that I do.  Remember, Jesus was persecuted, and His followers are persecuted too.  Take it as a complitment!

I spoke with my RCIA leader today, and she said it takes about FIVE years to FEEL Catholic, and to be fully immersed in being Catholic.  She said, welcome to the religion that is seen as the last- remaining- socially- acceptable prejudice to be against in The USA.  People think it is okay to be anti-Catholic, but it is not.  :)  so you should be ready for that too.

BLESS YOU AND KEEP GOING!  me too!  I plan to give Pope Benedict cards to the RCIA folks after the Easter Vigil this week.  15 April will be my one year anniversary of confirmation.  JOHN THE EVANGELIST!!!!!!!



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+ The Word became flesh... (St. John 1:14)
Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. (St. Jerome)
+ Follow Me... fishers of men. (St. Matthew quotes The Lord Jesus)

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RSWinCO
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 Posted: Sun Apr 8th, 2007 02:49 am

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I am now Catholic and feel no anxiety whatsoever, only extreme joy.  Thanks be to God.  My thanks also to the Coming Home Network and EWTN for helping me on this journey.

God's Peace



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BettyBoopToo
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 Posted: Sun Apr 8th, 2007 03:32 am

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RSWinCO wrote: I am now Catholic and feel no anxiety whatsoever, only extreme joy.  Thanks be to God.  My thanks also to the Coming Home Network and EWTN for helping me on this journey.

God's Peace


RS

Welcome HOME!:):):)

Peace of Christ be with you this glorious night!

My heart is beaming for your new life.

Betty



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Candlemass
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 Posted: Tue May 1st, 2007 10:29 pm

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JillD wrote: When I occasionally have that 'What am I DOING?' feeling, the next question is 'Where else would I go??'  If it's not the Catholic Church, then, to my way of thinking, I might as well go back to being a heathen and 'eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.'  There is nowhere else to go.  The Church holds eternal life like NOWHERE else.

Just my approach...

Jill
Can not fully concur w/your post, however life and faith have not worked for me in Protestant land, so I am on such a "journey home" myself.



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BettyBoopToo
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 Posted: Sun May 6th, 2007 01:07 am

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Candlemass wrote: JillD wrote: When I occasionally have that 'What am I DOING?' feeling, the next question is 'Where else would I go??'  If it's not the Catholic Church, then, to my way of thinking, I might as well go back to being a heathen and 'eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.'  There is nowhere else to go.  The Church holds eternal life like NOWHERE else.

Just my approach...

Jill
Can not fully concur w/your post, however life and faith have not worked for me in Protestant land, so I am on such a "journey home" myself.



Candlemass:

Your journey may not be where Jills is at.

Your journey is your own though, but I wanted to let you know that you are not all alone.  We've all been down that road and this too we shall come through.

I've not had the pleasure of meeting you yet, But I wanted to say, It's a pleasure and I hope you continue to come here to share with us and ask any questions you have on your mind.  There are some of the greatest people here on our wonderful forum, please come back anytime to visit and continue in your walk of faith.

God Bless

Betty



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bryshe2
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 Posted: Tue May 15th, 2007 06:05 am

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Hello gofisher,   I am not a Catholic and am new to the site.  I was interested in your comments about your worship leading and pastoring and you not being able to do those anymore.   Why is that? 

You also called Catholocism an "other religion."  You were a Christian before and now you are still a christian.  What has changed and how?

 

I too am a worship leader in my church now.  I went to Bible College to study to be a pastor.  But deep down I always knew the stuff I thought was true or right may not be and that I have to stay open to God for him to lead me into all truth.  I am intrigued by the Authority and Tradition of the Catholic church because Protestants are really lacking in direction and authoritativeness ( is that  word?) 

Any thoughts would be appreciated.  thanks

 

Bryan


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Ray2007
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 Posted: Tue May 15th, 2007 07:43 am

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All normal.  All to be expected.  Afterall any move strongly toward God disturbs the lower powers, what St Paul refers to by writing: Eph 6:12 For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. (RSV)  Be assured of these words, also from St. Paul:  Phil 1:6 And I am sure that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (RSV)


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mg57
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 Posted: Tue May 15th, 2007 11:07 pm

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