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Pioneer
Member
| Joined: | Tue Jul 3rd, 2007 |
| Location: | Winchester, Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 22 |
| First Name: | Bob | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Presbyterian, LDS, Catholic |
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Posted: Sun Jul 8th, 2007 11:00 pm |
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I have four faithful Catholic friends each of whom has created in his own unique way my desire to be united with the Catholic Church.
I am 57 years old and was previously baptized in the Presbyterian Church so I am currently being given individual instruction in preparation for confirmation and reception into the Church.
Would it be possible for all four men to act as my sponsors?
Thank you,
Bob
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5101 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Sun Jul 8th, 2007 11:14 pm |
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First of all, welcome to the Coming Home Network. We're happy to have you here with us, and will do our best to help you on your faith journey in any way we can.
Pioneer wrote: Would it be possible for all four men to act as my sponsors?
In a word, no. Not officially. There is one name listed as your sponsor. It is possible that your pastor will allow all four to stand with you as you are presented and confirmed, but only one can be the "official" sponsor. That doesn't stop you from considering all four your sponsors, and letting all four sit with you and join in the experience with you.
Discuss it with your pastor. He might be able to come up with an acceptable manner of allowing all four to participate in your entry into the Church.
And welcome home!
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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kimdyuma
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 776 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Sun Jul 8th, 2007 11:27 pm |
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| I asked good friends of mine in their 80's to be my sponsors- they are married- as far as I know they were both listed as my sponsors but that may have been becuase they were a couple..
____________________
Adopt from your local Humane Society- Please spay or neuter your pets
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Darlene
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 868 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Christian, trusting His love and forgiveness |
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Posted: Mon Jul 9th, 2007 10:04 am |
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So how does sponsorship work? Does the RCIA candidate choose the sponsor or is the sponsor chosen for the RCIA candidate? What if one discovers that they are not compatible with their sponsor? Can they choose another one?
I suppose this is just another issue that I am deeply concerned about. I wonder if there could even be a sponsor out there that could possible be compatible with me.  I tend to ask many questions and want to have answers from an intellectual viewpoint. And it's hard to find women that are "wired" the way I am. Not to say there aren't any out there.  And I would not want a male sponsor, for obvious reasons.
Anyway, as always, I appreciate all responses.
Darlene
____________________
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
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Annie
Banned
| Joined: | Wed Feb 14th, 2007 |
| Location: | Columbus, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 734 |
| First Name: | Annie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | nothing, Quaker, Mennonite, Presbyterian, Methodist, Anglican, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Jul 9th, 2007 10:30 am |
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| My sponsor is male, a good friend from work. It worked out very well because I also am wired to want to know intellectual reasons for things. Don't automatically rule out a male sponsor.
____________________
Annie
Ora et labora
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Pioneer
Member
| Joined: | Tue Jul 3rd, 2007 |
| Location: | Winchester, Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 22 |
| First Name: | Bob | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Presbyterian, LDS, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Jul 9th, 2007 10:47 am |
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Thank you for your sound advice. The pastor has already been so accommodating in so many ways I hesitated to approach him for yet another special request.
I'm sure however he will welcome the idea to include all four men in some way and I already have the fellow in mind whom I believe should be my "named" sponsor.
Also, thank you for your welcome. It has been quite a struggle, but I feel blessed.
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kimdyuma
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 776 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Mon Jul 9th, 2007 11:19 am |
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| my sponsors are quite elderly and while they are deeply devoted Catholics they are not used to questioning or looking into their faith- my actual resource on my way into the Catholic ( including finding out the actual RCIA contact person) was our neighbour who is my age. I told her that I really couldn't ask anyone else other than this couple ( friends of both of us) to sponsor me but that by the same token I appreciated her support and ability to talk things over.
____________________
Adopt from your local Humane Society- Please spay or neuter your pets
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JasPax
Member
| Joined: | Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 |
| Location: | North Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 214 |
| First Name: | James | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Episcopal to Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Jul 9th, 2007 12:57 pm |
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Darlene:
Concerning sponsors I can only relate from my own experience. I suspect every parish/diocese has a slightly different way to do this.
In my case, everyone -candidates and unbaptized-go through the same RCIA classes. I knew a few people I could have asked, but did not because sponsors are "required" to attend all the classes also and I did not want them to feel as tho' they had to do this. So I was assigned a very nice volunteer person who, A.) was a convert many years before due to marriage - before RCIA - so didn't appear to have a great deal of knowledge; and B), tended to take the liberal viewpoint on Church matters, which I do not, so our conversations were just pleasantries. We got along very well. It's called going with the flow!
So, I just studied on my own and learned from the very fine RCIA instructor who answered my questions.
There is a very good chance you may have just the sponsor you need. Think positively! If your sponsor doesn't have all the answers (who does?) she & the leader will help you search it out.
However, I'm not sure you will win many friends if you decide to "fire" your sponsor. Maybe it's the first Church lesson in obedience!
God's Blessings,
____________________
James
"Abide in me, and I in you..." John 15:4
"He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him." John 6:56
RSV-2CE
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5101 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Mon Jul 9th, 2007 02:27 pm |
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Your sponsor should be your prayer partner, not your information source. Ideally he (or she) will be someone you can share your problems with and just generally talk about things dealing with your faith. He should not be your information source, as he is likely not an expert on the types of questions and problems that someone from a non-Catholic background would ask, especially if he is a cradle Catholic.
The sponsor's "job" is to share his faith with you, pray with you, invite you to accompany him to church functions so you won't feel alone, and generally acclimatize you to the community. He is your friend, not your teacher.
When the time comes, your sponsor stands with you before the priest and the congregation, stating by his presence that he feels you are ready to become Catholic and become responsible for your own future faith development.
Many parishes require sponsors to attend classes, so that they are "walking the walk" with you. Some parishes may have a single sponsor for several people, and some may simply assign someone to stand with you at the time of your entrance. Ideally, your sponsor will be a close friend (not a spouse or significant other!) who you can confide in. However, there's no reason you can't have a close friend and a sponsor who are two separate people.
You should be able to select your own sponsor, with volunteers available for those who don't know anyone.
So other than the person is a confirmed, practicing Catholic, there really are no rules, and each parish does it in the way that works best for them. They should be willing to work with you and accomodate you in the best way possible.
And if you don't like your sponsor, you should certainly feel free to ask for a different one.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Darlene
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 868 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Christian, trusting His love and forgiveness |
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Posted: Mon Jul 9th, 2007 07:33 pm |
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CajunRick wrote:
The sponsor's "job" is to share his faith with you, pray with you, invite you to accompany him to church functions so you won't feel alone, and generally acclimatize you to the community. He is your friend, not your teacher.
All the more reason that I want a female sponsor. My husband would not take kindly to a male sponsor, whose job it is to encourage me in church activities.
Darlene
____________________
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
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Darlene
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 868 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Christian, trusting His love and forgiveness |
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Posted: Mon Jul 9th, 2007 07:36 pm |
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Annie wrote: My sponsor is male, a good friend from work. It worked out very well because I also am wired to want to know intellectual reasons for things. Don't automatically rule out a male sponsor.
Annie, the difference is, you are single, I am not. I have a husband's sensibilities to consider.
Darlene
____________________
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5101 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
| Status: |
Online
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Posted: Mon Jul 9th, 2007 10:06 pm |
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Darlene wrote: Annie wrote: Don't automatically rule out a male sponsor.
Annie, the difference is, you are single, I am not. I have a husband's sensibilities
to consider.
I think it depends on the person and the spouse. I have been sponsor for some women where I already had an established friendship with them, and we had had spiritual discussions which led in part to their entry into RCIA. In general, I recommend that the candidate choose someone of the same gender because some of the discussions can get quite personal when discussing pre/post/extramarital sex, birth control, etc., but it is really the candidate's choice. If they don't have someone particular in mind, I will recommend someone of the same gender.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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BettyBoopToo
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Camas/Washougal, Washington USA |
| Posts: | 538 |
| First Name: | Betty | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Fist Baptist/Calvary Babtist/Secular Confusion/ Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Jul 9th, 2007 11:01 pm |
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Darlene wrote: Annie wrote: My sponsor is male, a good friend from work. It worked out very well because I also am wired to want to know intellectual reasons for things. Don't automatically rule out a male sponsor.
Annie, the difference is, you are single, I am not. I have a husband's sensibilities to consider.
Darlene
I know if I were you Darlene, I would not want a male sponsor if my husband was feeling uneasy or having a difficult time with your Conversion experiance. I think your being very kind to recognize his needs first in this respect.
My sponser was my MIL. My first choice would have been someone different like Darlene has mentioned, because my MIL is a cradle catholic, had not even opened a bible for a good 30 yrs and it had been fifty since any cathechism class and she never even owned the new catachism until she and I recieved our own the first RCIA class. I had several other choices, but my MIL had just recently returned to the church, our relationship had always been very strained and I thought somehow the lord could intervene in our new relationship in the church and possibly repair the years of damage. He did and I'm very thankful! I could not have hurt her feelings, but I did speak with several others about my questions. It all worked out very nicely.
At this point my own husband would never even think anything about me being friends with other christian men. He knows that we are just sharing our faith and have common interest in God the church, etc.
Betty
____________________
Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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Annie
Banned
| Joined: | Wed Feb 14th, 2007 |
| Location: | Columbus, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 734 |
| First Name: | Annie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | nothing, Quaker, Mennonite, Presbyterian, Methodist, Anglican, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Jul 10th, 2007 12:15 pm |
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BettyBoopToo wrote: Darlene wrote: Annie wrote: My sponsor is male, a good friend from work. It worked out very well because I also am wired to want to know intellectual reasons for things. Don't automatically rule out a male sponsor.
Annie, the difference is, you are single, I am not. I have a husband's sensibilities to consider.
Darlene
I know if I were you Darlene, I would not want a male sponsor if my husband was feeling uneasy or having a difficult time with your Conversion experiance. I think your being very kind to recognize his needs first in this respect. You guys are right of course. I just have never been exposed to that mindset. In my culture men and women are friends based on intellectual pursuits and hobbies, etc. regardless of whether they are married or not. For example, when my corporate wife Mom had to throw dinner parties for the Boss People and their wives, after dinner the husbands and wives didn't segregate themselves by sex to continue their talking, they stayed together because they had mutual interests.
____________________
Annie
Ora et labora
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BettyBoopToo
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Camas/Washougal, Washington USA |
| Posts: | 538 |
| First Name: | Betty | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Fist Baptist/Calvary Babtist/Secular Confusion/ Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Jul 10th, 2007 04:26 pm |
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Annie
I can completely understand your position too. If it were me right now, My husband could care less about my male friends that I share a faith interest with. I think he's relieved that I have others to talk about faith issues with. As then it gives him a break ((((((Giggle)))))) kind of kidding, but true too. Lol
You guys are right of course. I just have never been exposed to that mindset. In my culture men and women are friends based on intellectual pursuits and hobbies, etc. regardless of whether they are married or not. For example, when my corporate wife Mom had to throw dinner parties for the Boss People and their wives, after dinner the husbands and wives didn't segregate themselves by sex to continue their talking, they stayed together because they had mutual interests.
God Bless, I hope Darlene find a sponser suited for her needs. Whom ever it is though, I'm glad you will have the forum to get some of your questions answered, if your sponser is not quite equiped to do so.
GB
Betty
____________________
Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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Darlene
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 868 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Christian, trusting His love and forgiveness |
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Posted: Wed Jul 11th, 2007 12:02 am |
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To clarify things, my husband is not a jealous man. He trusts me and I trust him. I have had male Christian friends over the years. I have gone to the movies with one of our close male friends without my husband coming with us. However, these male Christian friends are Protestant. That's the difference.
In the first few months of this year, I sat in on RCIA classes. The RCIA director called our home a few times. Once my husband answered the phone. Another time the RCIA Director left a message. I recognized immediately that my husband was irritated that this Catholic guy was calling me.
Also, within the past several months, I've received a call from a Catholic man inviting me to come to some retreats. Again, I sensed my husband's disapproval. And I knew it was because a Catholic man was calling me.
However, I have told him about the few times I met with Prodigal Daughter in Allentown. He knows that she is Catholic and yet, it didn't seem to bother him that I met with her.
So this is what I mean about my husband's sensibilities.
Darlene
____________________
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
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kimdyuma
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 776 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Wed Jul 11th, 2007 12:18 am |
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Darlene- I think that the RCIA director will definitely assign you a same sex sponsor- of the people in may class who had not chosen their own sponsor they were all the same sex. The biggest issue as I see it is actually breaking the news to him that you want to attend the classes, which let's face it will be seen as the first formal step into the church by your husband even if RCIA doesn't obligate you. You are in my prayers. I told my husband and kids that while I was joining the church I wouldn't rock their boats by forcing them to come. I even told my family and extended family that my Cat holism "would not be in their faces". I would continue to go to church with them on Sunday but also go to the Catholic church on my own. After a few months my son( who was the hardest hit in the immediate family- he is 16) said "you know Mom this is too hard for you - it is okay to not come to church with us on regular Sundays because you need to be true to your self and your beliefs"
Is there any way you can float the idea of attending RCIA but not committing to actually joining the church until he is more comfortable with it? Perhaps even inviting him to the RCIA classes? It seems to me you are in a sort of emotional no man's land which isn't good for you.
____________________
Adopt from your local Humane Society- Please spay or neuter your pets
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Credo Catholic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1271 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jul 11th, 2007 12:54 am |
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Darlene, definitely invite your husband to go to RCIA with you. 1) He will learn that some of the ideas he has about catholicism are wrong, 2) You have already read and researched so much about it that you can discuss it with him for your own benefit and that should soothe his feeling that you are going "someplace" without him, and 3) It might begin to make sense to him and who knows how the Holy Spirit will work him over! Also, by meeting the people there, when a sponsor is assigned to you he will have some knowledge of who that person is. We are all pulling for you, and hubby.
Last edited on Wed Jul 11th, 2007 12:57 am by Credo Catholic
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Darlene
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 868 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Christian, trusting His love and forgiveness |
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Posted: Wed Jul 11th, 2007 01:59 am |
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Thanks Mark, Betty, Kim, Marsha, Annie and Rick. I appreciate your prayers.
Darlene
____________________
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
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Annie
Banned
| Joined: | Wed Feb 14th, 2007 |
| Location: | Columbus, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 734 |
| First Name: | Annie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | nothing, Quaker, Mennonite, Presbyterian, Methodist, Anglican, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jul 11th, 2007 10:50 am |
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Darlene wrote: I recognized immediately that my husband was irritated that this Catholic guy was calling me.
Also, within the past several months, I've received a call from a Catholic man inviting me to come to some retreats. Again, I sensed my husband's disapproval. And I knew it was because a Catholic man was calling me.
However, I have told him about the few times I met with Prodigal Daughter in Allentown. He knows that she is Catholic and yet, it didn't seem to bother him that I met with her.
So this is what I mean about my husband's sensibilities.
Darlene
At least they didn't show up at your house wearing that Knights of Columbus cape thing with the sword, man would he have a COW (to quote my favorite philosopher Bart Simpson).
____________________
Annie
Ora et labora
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