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Searcher
Member
| Joined: | Fri Jul 27th, 2007 |
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| Posts: | 1 |
| First Name: | Laura | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | United Methodist |
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Posted: Fri Jul 27th, 2007 11:23 am |
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I have decided to begin looking into Catholicism and recently met with the priest to discuss this for several hours one evening. We discussed many things and I left that night feeling like I'd found something I've been searching for for years. When I came home and told my husband that for me to become a Catholic he would have to have his previous marriage annulled he became upset feeling that doing so would declare his three children illegitimate in the eyes of the Catholic church. He is Lutheran and neither of us have attended church in years. I was raised United Methodist. He has agreed to meet with the priest and get clarification and we will be making an appointment soon. In the meantime, can anyone give me any insight? Of course, I am scared and would very much like to be reassured that there is a way I can still become Catholic. If the priest can explain it to him in a way that makes sense to him, there is a chance he will agree to the annullment. Then the next hurdle will be his ex-wife. My chances of being allowed to follow this beautiful thing I've found are feeling very precarious right now.
Thanks,
Laura
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5253 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Fri Jul 27th, 2007 12:54 pm |
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Searcher wrote: I have decided to begin looking into Catholicism and recently met with the priest to discuss this for several hours one evening.
Laura, I wanted to take a moment and welcome you to the Coming Home Network. I'm at work right now so I can't address the specifics of your question, but I can tell you that the Church considers all children a gift from God. A Declaration of Nullity does not make a child illegitimate. More on that later.
We are happy you found your way here, and we'll do our best to help you along your faith journey wherever it might lead. Again, welcome to CHN, and welcome home.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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a46geo
Member
| Joined: | Tue Apr 3rd, 2007 |
| Location: | New Baltimore, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 18 |
| First Name: | George | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | pentecostal / baptist / Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Jul 30th, 2007 03:43 pm |
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Laura,
You and your husband are about to embark on the most wonderful journey any couple could ever take. I came into the Curch in 2002 and my wife in 2005. We both wish we would have done it 30 years earlier.
Your husbands concerns will be quickly put to rest once he too talks with a priest. Those children will remain completely ligitimate in the eyes of the Church.
George
____________________
George
1 Peter 5:7 Place all of your cares on him, for he cares about you.
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beachmoss
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 13th, 2006 |
| Location: | Simpsonville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 276 |
| First Name: | Beth | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic (raised Baptist) |
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Posted: Wed Aug 1st, 2007 04:16 am |
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Laura,
That was my husband's concern too when I expressed the desire to become Catholic. Our pastor talked with him and reassured him that the children would not be declared illegitimate. Then my husband was scared to death of contacting his ex about it. Our pastor handled everything. He contacted her and apprised her of the situation. He said she graciuosly consented to the annullment, which in our case was quite easy as she was a non-practicing Catholic when they were married by a JP.
You will be in my prayers. Please let us know how things progress!
Beth
P.S. Welcome to the forum!
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bobijmac
Member
| Joined: | Mon Sep 3rd, 2007 |
| Location: | Ann Arbor, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 5 |
| First Name: | Bobbie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | former Salvation Army Pastor, now a lay person, "Charismatic" |
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Posted: Wed Sep 5th, 2007 07:32 pm |
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Hi...
I'm a former Protestant pastor. A series of amazing events have caused me to evolve from a critic, to a defender to a believer! But all of my joy drained from me when I learned that I had to have my first marriage annulled. He was violent, and I don't want them contacting him. I'm supposed to be finding out if he was baptized before or after we were married and what form was used. How do I get this info? I also need my divorce decree, which I don't have anymore. Our marriage was 36 years ago. I feel sick, pained, fearful and discouraged by this. Also, the church that baptized me has no baptismal records going back that far. ARGH!!! I don't want to seem like a whining, emotional wreck to the Deacon. I'll do my whining here, if that's OK. I am stumped.
Any words?
____________________
Bobbie
Humility is to seek out the menial job, to welcome unjust criticisms, to befriend those who annoy us, to help those who are ungrateful. --Therese of Lisieux
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5253 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Online
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Posted: Fri Sep 7th, 2007 02:33 pm |
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bobijmac wrote: Hi...
I'm a former Protestant pastor. A series of amazing events have caused me to evolve from a critic, to a defender to a believer! But all of my joy drained from me when I learned that I had to have my first marriage annulled. He was violent, and I don't want them contacting him. I'm supposed to be finding out if he was baptized before or after we were married and what form was used. How do I get this info? I also need my divorce decree, which I don't have anymore. Our marriage was 36 years ago. I feel sick, pained, fearful and discouraged by this. Also, the church that baptized me has no baptismal records going back that far. ARGH!!! I don't want to seem like a whining, emotional wreck to the Deacon. I'll do my whining here, if that's OK. I am stumped.
Any words?
Your divorce decree is a matter of public record and will be recorded in the Clerk of Court's office (or equivalent) in the city or county/parish/township where it was adjudicated. The Church will attempt to contact him, but they will not provide any information about you or your current life. They will simply ask him a set of questions about your first marriage. It's quite possible he will not respond or they will not be able to find him. Your reaction indicates that you still have unresolved issues over your first marriage, so the process of having it declared non-sacramental will be a healing and reconciliation process for you. (That is the experience most people report.)
As for the baptism, you can ask your deacon what other forms of evidence would be acceptable. Perhaps an affidavit from a witness will be enough. Otherwise, the Church will perform a conditional baptism to insure that the sacrament was performed validly.
As to your first husband's baptism, they are likely wishing to consider the possibility of invoking the Pauline Privilege or another scriptural "loophole" that would make the process easier for you. If you are in contact with his family, perhaps they can give you the information. Otherwise, it's unlikely you'll get it without contacting him directly.
In both instances, the intention is not to make you "jump through hoops" but to insure that the words of Jesus have been followed carefully. These rules are in place because the Catholic Church carefully follows our Savior's instructions as recorded in Scripture, and the Church knows no other way to deal with the situation. Let the process be a healing one for you.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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