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Cate7
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Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 02:12 pm |
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Hello
I'm new to this forum and have been reading many of the posts/stories. I think this is the only place where I might find answers to my questions. I've traveled through Fundamentalism to Calvinism and now find myself ready to leap off the cliffs and swim the Channel. I went to a nearby parish and spoke with someone about beginning the RCIA class and was set to begin when I hit a wall. My husband is a happy evangelical. He has no desire to be Catholic and has raised lots of objections to my taking this step. This is causing strife between us. To further complicate things, he is divorced and I just figured out that without him agreeing to go through the annullment process (which is HIGHLY unlikely he would ever do this) I will never be able to be in full communion with the Church. Maybe some of you will understand the waves of bitter grief this news brings. To have come so far in my understanding through MUCH prayer and study only to find that I'll not be received. Maybe this is how Moses felt when he realized he would not be entering the Promised Land. He didn't argue with God in denying him, and I don't argue with the Church in Her judgements about marriage. What's hard is that we married as unbelievers and were ignorant of the things of God. Had we known we could have made things right before getting married. But what's done is done.
If I can't join the Church in my present circumstances, how do I view my attendence to a Protestant worship service? This situation raises many questions for me. When I take communion at the Protestant church does it mean anything? (obviously to me it does) My understanding is shallow at this point, but is there the REAL PRESENCE of Christ in any of the Protestant churches? My reading thus far leads to believe there isn't. Admittedly, I am very confused about how to process what I'm doing in the Protestant service. Having made this cataclysmic decision in my soul- that the Catholic Church is the Church of Christ- and being willing to submit to Her teachings only to find I can't actually become a Catholic. Oh, I will continueto study and believe Her teachings, but I'll only be Catholic theoretically. This just doesn't satisfy me! The Sacraments have come to mean so much to me and now I'm condemned to live in exile from the Church, forever HOMEsick! (Sorry to sound so pathetically melodramatic!!!)
Anyhow, I welcome your words of guidance and wisdom.
In His Grace!
Cate
Last edited on Mon Oct 9th, 2006 02:16 pm by Cate7
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"The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it yet within our reach is joy" Fra Giovanni
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Kevonius
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Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 04:31 pm |
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Dear Cate,
I'm also a convert from a fundamentalist background. It was quite a shock to me, too, that Home was an ancient faith I'd scorned for many years in my ignorance. You'll soon get a flurry of warm helpful answers here from better educated Catholics, but here's some quick relief.
First, take a deep breath and be happy. You are blessedly mistaken. The Catholic Church can and will open it's doors to welcome you. I'm no expert either, but I understand from my reading that as a new convert to the church, nothing in your past, including your present marriage to a divorcee, will keep you from full communion. It's not an uncommon situation. The Catholic Church is not centered on enforcing rules, but on delivering grace and mercy.
It's likely you're about to start a lesson in patience and trust. God is at work in you and your husband, or you would not have heard God's call and he would not be believer of any kind. The Church will remind you to be patient and faithful in your marriage, while you trust God to lead you all the way home to His Church. In the process you will have many opportunities to demonstrate the love of Christ to your husband and prove that deep and complete grace comes through His true Church.
I'm homesick too. I have a different set of problems keeping me from joining my local Catholic parish. But I expect them to get worked out in the next few weeks. There's been a shakeup in our local priestly leadership that has muddled the process of being recieved into the church.
As to your participation in other denominations, sadly protestant churches do not enjoy the privilege of the Real Presence in the Eucharist. Some (Anglicans, Lutherans, etc) may claim to have it and deny the authority of the Catholic Church in this matter. Most evangelicals insist communion, like baptism, is purely symbolic.
I know the odd feeling of wondering how to participate in a protestant service. I find it best to smile and keep my mouth shut most of the time. You've probably noticed that it is MUCH easier to be a protestant in a Catholic church than the other way around. (smile)
Blessings and grace to you!
kev
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Br. Rich SFO
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Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 04:40 pm |
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| You may not be fully united to the Catholic Church , but you are still united in a way through your Baptism. You can attend Mass, you can pray, you can participate and continue to grow in your Christian faith. Until the Marriage situation is resolved it is true that you may not be able to fully participate in the Sacraments. Continue to attend Mass, try and avoid Protestant services this only confuses your direction. There is no Real Presence in any Church except those that have true and valid Holy Orders.
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CajunRick
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Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 04:49 pm |
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The Catholic Church can and will open it's doors to welcome you. I'm no expert either, but I understand from my reading that as a new convert to the church, nothing in your past, including your present marriage to a divorcee, will keep you from full communion. It's not an uncommon situation. The Catholic Church is not centered on enforcing rules, but on delivering grace and mercy.
Unfortunately, this is not correct. Being in a marriage not recognized by the Church does prevent one from receiving the sacraments. You're correct that it is a common situation and that remedies are available, but if one refuses to participate in the remedies, there is little the Church can do.
It is a case of being caught between a rock and a hard place. Since the Church believes that a sacramental marriage cannot be dissolved by any power in heaven or on earth, and since the Church presumes that all marriages are sacramental until proven otherwise, that means the Church considers Cate's husband's first marriage still sacramentally valid. Since he can only be married once, he is not free to contract another marriage.
There are only three possible remedies:
1. He can seek a declaration of nullity from the Church. Once it is granted, he is free to be married again, and then Cate is able to join in full communion with the Church.
2. If his first wife dies, he is free to be married again. Then Cate is able to join in full communion with the Church.
3. If Cate's current marriage should end in divorce, she is free to join the Church and seek a declaration of nullity in her own marriage.
Choice #1 is the easiest, of course, and the most common path, but if he refuses to participate, there is little that can be done. The words of Jesus are clear, as was reflected in last Sunday's gospel, taken from Mark 10:
[6] "But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.'; [7] `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, [8] and the two shall become one.' So they are no longer two but one. [9] What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."
The Catholic Church takes Jesus' words seriously.
Cate, until such time as your husband is willing to allow the Church to heal his broken first marriage, you are not able to enter into the sacramental life of the Church. I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but no power in heaven or on earth can contradict the clear teaching of our Savior.
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Cate7
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Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 04:57 pm |
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Thank you both for your gracious words and encouragement. The problem for is that I can't avoid the Protestant church because my husband expects me to continue going with him. This is certainly the Rock and the hard place! I have been going to Mass when my husband works on Sunday (he's a Firefighter) and I sit in the back with a deep sense of hunger to join everyone. Short of a true miracle I don't see my husband changing his thinking about the Catholic Church. But, I never would have believed that about myself! This gives me so much HOPE! I trust God to work this out and thank you again for listening and sharing your thoughts with me.
Cate
____________________
"The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it yet within our reach is joy" Fra Giovanni
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Cate7
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Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 05:05 pm |
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Rick
I hear what you're saying and know this is simply the way it is. It's Severe Truth to my heart, but I completely agree with it. So, patience is something I'll have to exercise. I have no control over this situation other than to pray for my husband and show him the same grace and love that I have for 19 years. I firmly believe God has brought me to this point for His own purposes and I'll have to trust Him in this darkness until something changes. You have given me good information and that will guide my prayers.
In His Grace
Cate
____________________
"The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it yet within our reach is joy" Fra Giovanni
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CajunRick
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Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 05:19 pm |
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Cate7 wrote: I hear what you're saying and know this is simply the way it is. It's Severe Truth to my heart, but I completely agree with it. So, patience is something I'll have to exercise. I have no control over this situation other than to pray for my husband and show him the same grace and love that I have for 19 years. I firmly believe God has brought me to this point for His own purposes and I'll have to trust Him in this darkness until something changes. You have given me good information and that will guide my prayers.
Cate, God has changed many hearts in response to prayer, as long as the person is open to change. Remember that St. Monica prayed for her son, St. Augustine, for 30 years before his conversion, and he became one of the greatest bishops and teachers in the history of the Church. Stranger things have happened!
You might take comfort in Scott Hahn's conversion story, which you'll find here. Many of the other conversion stories available from the CHN home page cite problems with spouses who later came around to the faith.
You will be in our prayers.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Christine Ann
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Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 05:41 pm |
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Dear Cate,
I am coming from a fundamentalist background and am having the sorrow of being married to someone who has no interest in the Catholic Church. Also, we are both in our second marriage and my husband will not hear of annulling his first marriage. He has two daughters and is concerned about their reaction. So right now I feel at a dead end. I also agree with the Church on the Sacrement of Marriage and deeply regret the loss of my first marriage while a Lutheran. I never expected to have the desire to "come home" to the RCC in my future, nor being divorced and remarried.
I wanted you to know that I will be praying for you and your husband. I know how essential prayer is if there's to be a change of heart....
In His Love,
Christine
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Cate7
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Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 05:53 pm |
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Christine
Thanks so much for sharing your own journey through similar difficulties. It truly makes one feel less alone knowing there are people feeling the same things. Not that I would wish this on anyone. It's quite a desolate feeling isn't it.
Remember the part in the Wizard of Oz movie when Dorothy and friends FINALLY get to very gates of the Emeralld City. They had come so far only to be told to go away? Well, this is how I'm feeling right now! I'm locked out and yes, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth! Oh, but that scene wasn't the end of the story!!!!
I'll pray for you and your husband, too. Meanwhile we'll stay "under the mercy".
Cate
____________________
"The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it yet within our reach is joy" Fra Giovanni
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Kevonius
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Posted: Mon Oct 9th, 2006 07:57 pm |
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Thanks Cajunrick for your quick and critical correction. My source on that issue was, I now assume, a very liberal Catholic source. I'll be more careful.
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Christine Ann
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Posted: Tue Oct 10th, 2006 08:24 pm |
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Cate7 wrote: Christine
Thanks so much for sharing your own journey through similar difficulties. It truly makes one feel less alone knowing there are people feeling the same things. Not that I would wish this on anyone. It's quite a desolate feeling isn't it.
Remember the part in the Wizard of Oz movie when Dorothy and friends FINALLY get to very gates of the Emeralld City. They had come so far only to be told to go away? Well, this is how I'm feeling right now! I'm locked out and yes, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth! Oh, but that scene wasn't the end of the story!!!!
I'll pray for you and your husband, too. Meanwhile we'll stay "under the mercy".
Cate
Dear Cate,
I loved your reference to the Wizard of Oz. That's exactly the feeling...I feel like a small child who has found a great treasure and can only look at it through smudged glass. I'm not sure what the "small child" is, but that's how it feels. I'm attending mass, but without the Eucharist, it seems it is missing the heart of it all. What do others who are in similar situations do? Is it often that they will be "drop-outs"? I can't see myself going back...as Peter said, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the message of eternal life....". He is the Way, the Truth and the Life and the RCC represents the door in my eyes. I wish I had understood the ramifications of divorce and re-marriage in the eyes of the RCC. I am praying without ceasing....for grace and mercy and forgiveness. I'm still awaiting a call from the priest...I hope to hear from him soon.
Christine
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Cate7
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Posted: Wed Oct 11th, 2006 11:21 am |
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Christine wrote
I'm attending mass, but without the Eucharist, it seems it is missing the heart of it all. What do others who are in similar situations do? Is it often that they will be "drop-outs"? I can't see myself going back...as Peter said, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the message of eternal life....". He is the Way, the Truth and the Life and the RCC represents the door in my eyes.
Christine
Your comments really resonated with me. Indeed, "to whom shall we go?" Having found this great treasure, how can we go back? No, Protestant church service would satisfy would it? Even an Episcopalian church won't do, though their liturgy is certainly beautiful and they claim Christ is really present in Communion. In my own journey I actually thought the Anglican Church was where I was headed, but God put His hand in my way and stopped me. I don't know if you or anyone else is feeling completely surprised at their own conversion, but I certainly am at mine!
I do think the RCC is the door that leads us into the fullest REALITY of life in Christ that is to be found this side of Heaven. Someone likened the difference between the faith traditions and the RCC to having muddy water which will sustain life, though not as perfectly as drinking pure spring water which flows from the RCC. Having found the Fountain, how could I ever desire the muddy waters again?
This leaves some us in "suspended animation". We're alive to the Truth, but unable to enter into it. We've died to our old ways of thinking about Church and realized there is a way to know Christ more fully. We're sort in the twilight where it's neither dark nor light. But there are rumors that the Light is coming. So, here we sit anticipating the time when dawn breaks and the shadows flee.
God is certainly up to something in calling so many Home. Most of us didn't just decide to become Catholic and many us can't even explain how it happened to us. It's a mysterious work in the deepths of our souls and this gives me hope in God that He'll complete what's He's begun in us!!!
I'm praying for you Christine
Cate
Last edited on Wed Oct 11th, 2006 02:41 pm by Cate7
____________________
"The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it yet within our reach is joy" Fra Giovanni
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stephanpetersgirl
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Posted: Wed Nov 15th, 2006 01:49 pm |
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Hi,
I'm new to this forum too, but I found some information that might be comforting to you:
http://www.chnetwork.org/journals/eucharist/eucharist_1.htm
This woman is attending both Catholic and Protestant services, and her husband does not want to become Catholic.
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Cate7
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Posted: Wed Nov 15th, 2006 02:20 pm |
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Hey!
Thanks so much for that testimony! CR echos so much of what I have experienced in my own journey. I'm still not able to join the Church, but I'm convinced God will get me Home in His own perfect timing.
God's blessing!
Cate
____________________
"The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it yet within our reach is joy" Fra Giovanni
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BettyBoopToo
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Posted: Wed Nov 15th, 2006 07:15 pm |
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Hello All & welcome to our new friends:
When I was going through similar situation's, When I went to mass I would pray this prayer that I learned from EWTN & Cath Radio. Here is the link. http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/blsac4.htm
When I was going through the marriage stuff, My husband is a (Cradle Catholic) he is very opposed to confession to a priest. When Father told me that he would have to go to confession before we could go through the process of having our marriage in the church. I remember crying, I just was certain that this was a brick wall and he'd never do it. After many prayers and tears, He did it! God can change the hearts of even those we think it may be impossibe.
God Bless you all & Praise Jesus and his Beautiful Treasure, The Church
Betty
____________________
Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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Steven Barrett
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Posted: Thu Nov 16th, 2006 11:37 am |
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Cate, It sure sounds like you're in a terrible bind. Spiritually and emotionally you are bound to God in a most personal way through your dedication to His Son's Real Presence in the Eucharist.
I'm very familiar with your position, being married to a Congregationalist who became an Episcopalian (to help bridge the gap) and eventually a Baptist (ABC) with me when we found what we thought would be our final spiritual home plate. Ah, but the crypto papist in me surfaced over time. Watching Marcus Grodi's show certainly didn't lessen the pangs of my "homesickness." My wife, whom I love dearly, thinks I read too books and publications that cloud up my mind with things that lead to old consternation, etc.
Well, she's right, but I'll say "right" for different reasons that I, the Catholic, could only truly understand at this moment in time.
This is our only marriage and we've been married for twenty-three years, notwithstanding our occasional reenactments of the Thirty Years War and the Troubles of Ireland. (Yes, I'm Irish, and she's Yankee.)
I'm retired on a disability but I spend a lot of time volunteering at the baptist church the family belongs to; out of personal loyalty for the help the church has provided us during some pretty rough moments. But, even though I'm Catholic, "reverted" recently, and have a personal apostolate to help bridge the gap (Hmm, does this make it a "pontifical apostolate" Naaaah, I'd better NOT go down there.) I've never had a real difficult moment, save for having to hear an occasional cheap shot about the priest scandal, and doubts about "validity" of infant baptisms, etc. By and large, the people are happy to have someone who's available to answer questions and I'm happy to help.
But, that doesn't always "cure" my homesickness either. Thankfully my property deacon, who has a Catholic son-in-law (and advised his daughter to follow her husband's faith for family unity--good advice even if the son-in-law were non-Catholic) is very understanding and I can't thank him enough. So, I'm familiar with the no-man's land you feel you might be in. So when I offer what's coming, I hope you'll understand that I'm not trying to stir things up.
My experience has taught me that even if you're going to "lose" an argument in the house over religion, better to lose an occasional battle than to risk losing it all through rashness. Nevertheless, I have misgivings with your husband's insistence that you attend his services, especially when he won't budge for you; not even to allow for an annulment (that won't call his previous marriage a farce) which will allow you to fully enjoy your newfound Catholic Faith (and by the way, 1st Amendment rights as well.) I would no more try and stop my wife from remaining where she wants to be if that be the case, and likewise expect her to respect my wishes.
I can understand your husband's reservations about annullment, the so-called "catholic divorce." Well, there's civil annullment as well. ( We don't hear alot about that, much less any snide commentary!) All an annullment says is that there was something lacking that would enable the previous marriage to be a truly full marriage in the truest sense of the word. Incorrigible forms of behavior, or gross forms of adultery (say a husband found his wife having a lesbian lover or overly fond of animals. Sorry, not intended to bring in any unsavory "commentary" here, but these things do happen. So does out-of-control drinking, skirt-chasing, and gambling. Child abuse, spouse abuse, elderly abuse--with no sign of remorse or change on the part of the offending spouse indicate that this is not a real marriage. An occasional lapse in judgment might lead to a divorce, but not necessarily indicate that the marriage is beyond repair or even resembling a true marriage in any sense of the word.
I'm not a canon lawyer or a civil lawyer. You should consult one anyway and right away. He or she could be of help in finding a way to allow your husband to go along with you without losing face. Besides, he may have valid reasons for not wanting to "re-open a can of worms" especially if he correctly suspects his ex will wage all out war and one should never underestimate the potential psychological, and spiritual damage this could do to all of you, especilly your kids. In fairness to him, he might have some very valid reservations that have nothing to do with religious views for or against Catholicism.
Accompany your husband to his church and be the best "team player" you can as an offering up to God. He'll reward you eventually. He won't forget you and your husband. But politely and respectfully request that he gives you reciprocity when it comes to your being able to attend Mass without leaving a bad taste in everyone's mouth.
My wife was livid when I told her I renewed my baptismal vows. But she later understood how important the Real Presence is to me and how much I value what I left behind. I returned not as a move "against" anyone or thing, but for reasons I thought were of sufficient benefit to myself and by extension, my family as well. At one time she thought it was my ADHD. ("Back and forth, here we go again." Well, to some degree she had a point, but eventually she came to understand how important the Real Presence was to me. I also have bipolar depression and let's face it, if you're not well emotionally because of religious difficulties or labor under the impression that you're stuck in a spiritual rut to satisfy others, and you deal with depression every day, by all means, do what you can to resolve this before it drives you nuts. At least that's what I was concerned about. Eventually I was able to reassure my wife that I wasn't just wandering for the sake of wandering and risking family unity to satisfy a personal agenda for my own sake, but we would all benefit if I could enjoy my full freedom to worship God as I chose to see fit.
Wih all respet to your husband, perhaps he had a rough relgious experience in his previous marriage and he doesn't want to open that door again. Moreover, in his caution, he may not even realize that however cautionary he is, it's pulling you back; even though I doubt for all the incense in Vatican City that he'd ever want to dominate you and deliberately prevent you from worshipping God as you wish.
Please, before you undertake any steps that you feel may upset him, even in the slightest bit, speak to a priest, a canon lawyer, counselor specializing in annullment matters and do not take any precipitous steps on your own. I'm sure you both love each other very dearly and you don't want to do undermine what you both treasure. While I can't speak for God, nor presume to, my ballpark gut level feeling is that He'd be very displeased to see yet another unnecessary "statistic" in some courthouse.
Be thankful you have a God - believing spouse. In this day and age, that attribute cannot ever be taken for granted. We may not always agree on the particulars, but let us all remain united in love for Him and each other.
God will reward your love, patience and dedication to your marriage and family. You're already there; at least in spirit you are already "in communio" with Our Lord, and that matters most of all.
Hope I've been of some help and "solidarity." And remember, you're already there, and know you have both your husband's and Jesus' love there for you.
God Bless you Cate, your husband and your entire family.
____________________
For anyone suffering from a mental illness or has a loved one with a mental illness, my book "Lead kindly Light: A Devotional For The Mentally Ill" might be of some help: http://www.lulu.com/ (Use search box at the top of page.)
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Ruthie
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Posted: Fri Nov 17th, 2006 12:02 am |
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Hi Cate and Christine Anne,
I just wanted to let you know you are not the only ones in your difficult situation. Count me in. I posted my story under Conversions - When only one converts. You're right that it helps to know that others go through this too. I feel so stuck, wanting to come back to the Catholic Church completely and to not be able to be in complete communion with the Church until the marriage issue is resolved. It is hard to be at peace in this situation, tormenting to realize that my marriage is considered an adulterous relationship until our first marriages are anulled. Yet my husband won't budge on this issue and won't proceed with the petition process. Meanwhile, I attend Mass, sit in the back row to stay out of people's way as they go up to receive communion, and hunger for what is denied me. And I pray. Someday.
I pray for you too. I think Darlene is in a similar situation too.
Ruthie
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Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it. (NRSV, Luke 18:17)
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CajunRick
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Posted: Fri Nov 17th, 2006 12:09 am |
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Ruthie wrote: I posted my story under Conversions - When only one converts.
Thank you for posting your story in the appropriate area.
For those of you who have posted details of your conversions in this thread, please repost them in Conversions. Future visitors months and years down the road will find them much easier and therefore be more easily helped and comforted in knowing that others have faced their trials and (hopefully) overcome them eventually.
I know it's easy for a thread to get off track. I'm one of the worst offenders. Still, please make a sincere effort to stay on the topic of the original message, or future visitors will never be able to find the help they need.
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Ruthie
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 13th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houston, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 99 |
| First Name: | Ruthie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | nominal Presbyterian, aetheist, evangelical Christian/Episcopalian, Catholic |
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Posted: Sat Nov 18th, 2006 11:56 pm |
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Rick wrote:
There are only three possible remedies:
1. He can seek a declaration of nullity from the Church. Once it is granted, he is free to be married again, and then Cate is able to join in full communion with the Church.
2. If his first wife dies, he is free to be married again. Then Cate is able to join in full communion with the Church.
3. If Cate's current marriage should end in divorce, she is free to join the Church and seek a declaration of nullity in her own marriage.
Rick, isn't it also possible to be separated from the spouse or "living as brother and sister" and be able to be in full communion with the Chruch? One doesn't have to be actually divorced as you stated in remedy #3.
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Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it. (NRSV, Luke 18:17)
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CajunRick
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5079 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Sun Nov 19th, 2006 12:08 am |
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Ruthie wrote:
Rick wrote:
There are only three possible remedies:
1. He can seek a declaration of nullity from the Church. Once it is granted, he is free to be married again, and then Cate is able to join in full communion with the Church.
2. If his first wife dies, he is free to be married again. Then Cate is able to join in full communion with the Church.
3. If Cate's current marriage should end in divorce, she is free to join the Church and seek a declaration of nullity in her own marriage.
Rick, isn't it also possible to be separated from the spouse or "living as brother and sister" and be able to be in full communion with the Chruch? One doesn't have to be actually divorced as you stated in remedy #3.
Possible? Yes. Likely? Probably not.
A person who is legally married in violation of Church teaching is not in a position of accepting Church authority, and so it is difficult to validly declare that that person accepts and believes all that the Catholic Church teaches and believes. Part of the problem is the sin of scandal, which may lead others to believe that it is acceptable to be married outside the Church and still receive Eucharist.
As for living as brother and sister, the sin of scandal comes into the picture again. It is very difficult to accept that a couple can be legally married and living together in a totally non-sexual manner. Others may be led to believe that the Church is approving of an invalid marriage.
In a similar vein, it is possible for a married man to be accepted to the priesthood if he and his wife take a vow that they will live as brother and sister. To the best of my knowledge, it has happened once in the last 50 years. That was in Brazil, and the man was physically incapable of having sex due to his age and health conditions. They had already been living in a non-sexual relationship for more than a decade.
But yes, it is possible, and that's why we always say that someone needs to discuss the matter with a priest. The information we give here is generic and general, and their may be other factors of which we are not aware. In this case, the possible approaches impossible, so I didn't mention it at all.
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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examinnfaith
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| Joined: | Sun Nov 19th, 2006 |
| Location: | Oregon USA |
| Posts: | 12 |
| First Name: | examinnfaith | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Congregational, Episcopal, Lutheran, Nazarene, Baptist, Faith Center, Interdenominational, |
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Posted: Tue Nov 21st, 2006 01:11 am |
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This is a question out of very new exploration of Catholic canon and practice. Do these folks need to "sit in the back" and feel left out?
I am exploring, inquiring and endeavoring to learn more about the RCC. My priest suggested I "go forward during mass and receive a blessing". Can these folks do this?
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Darlene
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 868 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Christian, trusting His love and forgiveness |
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Posted: Tue Nov 21st, 2006 01:23 am |
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Ruthie wrote: Hi Cate and Christine Anne,
I just wanted to let you know you are not the only ones in your difficult situation. Count me in. I posted my story under Conversions - When only one converts. You're right that it helps to know that others go through this too. I feel so stuck, wanting to come back to the Catholic Church completely and to not be able to be in complete communion with the Church until the marriage issue is resol | | |
