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Methodist, Baptist, and The UCC
I grew up in Northeastern Ohio in a great family that honored God
and taught values that were Christian based. My Dad was raised in
the Methodist Church and my mom worshipped in the American Baptist
Church. Involvement in church in our family was important but not
central. During my high school years we attended the United Church
of Christ regularly. I was very involved and in my junior year of
high school I became the Youth group president. Being the youth
group president, I was automatically a member on the main church
council of which my parents both resided, serving in varying capacities.
Born Again, Salvation, and Converting to Christ
In my senior year in 1973, Copley High School had a drug assembly
and invited a group called THE NEW MEN to make a musical presentation
to our student body. The assembly consisted of their describing
a life of drugs, music, and ultimately a life-changing event that
occurred. This resulted in a major change of direction and purpose
of life. They stated that they would be singing in area churches
over the next week and invited any of the students to come hear
more of their story. I was intrigued and went back to the UCC Associate
Pastor and wanted to bring our youth group to hear them on that
Sunday evening. I was mostly interested in the music as I was a
guitar player and vocalist. About ten of us from the youth group
went and heard the New Men’s story. The spoke of being born-again
in Christ and at the conclusion of their performance invited anyone
that was interested to pray the “sinner’s prayer”
for salvation. Three of us (self-included) prayed that prayer. For
me it was phenomenal, I felt so freed. Even though I was a “good”
kid, the peace that accompanied this prayer was amazing. They told
us that we had been “converted” to Christ. The next
day while playing basketball with one of my best friends, I was
going on and on about being “converted”. He asked what
that meant and I said I didn’t really know except that I felt
wonderfully close to God. The next week I met with my Associate
Pastor and we talked at length about my conversion. He was very
excited as I described a heartfelt interest in going into some type
of ministry in the future. We became closer over the next year as
he began to disciple me in the things of Christ.
Trying to be a Witness
One Sunday a year the UCC Church had “Youth Sunday”
in which the Youth basically conducted the entire service. I had
previously been involved in the music portion but this year the
Associate Pastor ask me to “bring the sermon.” When
we discussed a topic, he suggested I relay my “conversion”
experience. I did, and the response wasn’t necessarily one
I’d expected. Like most ministers I stood at the exit door
of the church and shook the hands of the attendees at the conclusion
of the service. I was encouraged, congratulated, and in some cases
cautioned by the exiters. One seminary student, home for the holiday,
told me to not be so naïve and literal in my beliefs toward
the Bible. Looking back, I’m sure I received a lot of sympathetic
nods and understanding because of my young zealous beliefs. I was
surprised that others didn’t flock to the message and desire
to receive Christ as I had. Later, my Associate Pastor said that
he got some flack because of my “narrow minded” sermon.
The Senior Pastor just tried to stand somewhere in the middle. So
I met “opposition” for the first time and it left me
a little hurt. By now I was a senior in high school and working
at a local grocery store. The store offered double time pay on Sunday’s
to work and I soon found myself substituting work for church. It
was easy to not attend church, given my “narrow-mindedness.”
Satan was very quick to offer a very profitable substitute. After
all I was starting college in the fall and could use the money.
College Days
I started Akron University in the fall of 1973 studying accounting.
Due to my musical background I joined the Men’s Glee Club
at the University. At the end of my first year my singer friend
from my high school ask it I would be interested in playing rhythm
guitar for a gospel quartet. I was interested and began practicing
with the group. My first weekend performance was at E.J. Thomas
Hall, the performance hall on the campus of the University of Akron.
It was a wonderful experience and I felt those “feelings”
again that I felt in the Christian environment. I was excited about
the future of singing for God. I eventually became the lead singer
of this group called the CrossRoads. During my college year we toured
about 30,000 miles per year on weekends. We owned a bus and over
the course of the next 5 years we made 6 albums and toured most
of the eastern US. Two of us graduated from the University of Akron
in 1977 and we went
“Full-time” into this singing ministry.
During the years while still in college and while touring with
The CrossRoads I moved my church membership to the Akron Baptist
Temple, home of the World’s largest Sunday school in the previous
decade. I found that the Baptists believed in something and everything
was about the bible. Our church was independent (no hierarchy),
fundamental, Pre-millennial (relates to end time prophecy), and
avid King James Bible fanatics. We believed salvation by faith alone,
the Bible as the only authority, and that we were the front line
of God’s army. We traced our lineage all the way back to the
time of Christ outside of any church denomination. The book The
Trail of Blood, was a must-read for our denomination. We stood against
liberalism, charisma tics, ritualism, and the social gospel. We
didn’t even acknowledge Catholics as part of the Christian
family. We didn’t smoke, drink, dance, go to movies, and some
of us didn’t even own a TV. We went to church Wednesday night
for Bible study, Sunday morning for Sunday school and then the Preaching
service, and Sunday night for another preaching service. The “really
Christian” among us also attended a visitation night weekly
to knock on doors and evangelize those in our community. These were
wonderful times. I wasn’t around the Akron Baptist Temple
on the weekends due to our singing schedule but regular attended
Wednesday night bible study and Tuesday night visitation.
The Local Church
After about a year of “full-time” in the ministry of
the CrossRoads, I sensed a real burden to be involved with the local
church (Akron Baptist Temple,ABT). So in the winter of 1978 I resigned
from the CrossRoads. We were singing at a church in Valley City,
Ohio the night we made the announcement that I would be leaving
the group in May (as lead singer, it took awhile to work someone
into that role). At the conclusion of the singing another Pastor
of a church in Brunswick (where we sang on several occasions) was
in the congregation. He asked me if I would consider coming to Brunswick
and work part-time as his youth and music pastor. I told him I’d
pray about it. I really wasn’t interested. May came and I
left the group and got my first “real” job in my trained
profession of accounting. I got very involved in my local church
(ABT) and was truly content. A couple of times during the summer
the Pastor of Grace
Baptist Church (GBC) called and asked if I was considering his proposition.
I told him I’d make a decision in September. I still wasn’t
that interested but with my delay, I bought some time. My girlfriend,
Miriam, had just finished up her schooling at Tennessee Temple University
in Chattanooga, TN. We made this decision a matter of prayer and
finally felt led to go to Brunswick and serve in the Grace Baptist
Church. The church in that time averaged about 175 on Sunday and
was an exciting place to be serving God. We thoroughly enjoyed the
youth and the music department was certainly a challenge. Miriam
taught Sunday school and sang in the choir. We drove 4 times a week
for a year from Akron to Brunswick during this time and finally
Miriam and I were married in the summer of 1979. We moved to Brunswick
and I still worked my full time job in accounting and “we”
did part-time ministry for the church. I say “we” because
while I got paid for the work, the church got a package deal in
the both of us. Unfortunately this is the case in most fundamental
churches and is the cause of much burnout. In 1981 the church asked
me to go fulltime and become Associate Pastor due to the rapid growth
and building programs. We were now averaging about 500-600 on Sunday.
Success
We were on the move. The Grace Baptist Church was making its mark
on the city of Brunswick.
Over the next few years Miriam & I developed a youth department
of 150 teens in three departments: junior high, senior high, &
career college. We trained a youth staff consisting of 2-3 couples
in each department. We had 11 youth in Christian college and we
developed the youth ministry to function with or without our involvement.
The music department now consisted of a 70 voice adult choir, 25-piece
orchestra, a ladies ensemble, 3 children’s choirs, a special
music department consisting of 20 soloists. We produced a weekly
cable show and did some live Radio. Personally I began to compose
music and work on musical projects.
The church was now at it’s peak. On Sundays our attendance
was well over 1000 and we had seen a high attendance of 1200. We
had arrived. We were now the largest protestant congregation in
our county.
Going through the Motions
Every January 1st I would feel a little empty and sought out a
new “project” for the new year in hopes to chase the
emptiness away. The first few years it was easy, developing the
“youth staff” and administration or adding a new musical
group. One year I began to disciple men one on one. Over a period
of several years I discipled about 15 men, some I met once a week
for 2 years straight. During these years one of my disciples and
I joined the local Rotary Club and claimed these me as ours for
God. We prayed weekly for their souls. While discipling was a great
ministry for me, I found that the men were growing in emptiness
with me. How could this be, we were reading our bible, memorizing
scripture, and witnessing. But growing in emptiness. Jan 1, 1998
I decided my new year project would be to write and produce a full-length
Christmas musical. It kept me busy all year. Every Friday I devoted
to the creative piece of the work. “TIS THE REASON”
was performed that Christmas by three churches and was quite successful.
It was an emotional high and achievement that I didn’t think
I could surpass. Jan 1 1999 proved to be rough time. I couldn’t
come up with any new project to pacify my emptiness. How could I
be empty after such success, being the largest church in the county,
and leading so many people? I begged the Lord to remove the emptiness
with something, but to no avail.
I was beginning to question whether we were the church Jesus promised
to preserve in Matthew 16:18. If Grace Baptist was this church and
the success was real, why was I so empty? Not only was I having
trouble coping with my emptiness but also I was beginning to wrestle
with some personal issues with the Pastor of Grace Baptist. We had
been close friends now for many years but I saw some things that
I didn’t like and all of a sudden I was struggling internally
with his and my relationship. I was feeling like we were not doing
ministry the way that Jesus would have it done. I began to go through
the motions of ministry. We had this ministry down to a system,
we could do this ministry and not really have to be in the right
place with God. Nobody would ever see. Finally I began to share
this my wife only to find, like most wives, she arrived here long
before I did. Trying to ignore my plight, emptiness began to swallow
me.
The Weird Guy at the Christian Bookstore
I never read much during my ministry days but one afternoon I stopped
into our local Christian bookstore. I thought surely some Christian
pastor must have experienced an emptiness due to success and written
a book about it. I just had to find it. Dave was the manager on
duty. Dave was “way to spiritual” for me. One day I
heard him talk to a customer about “eating truth.” I
just didn’t get that kind of talk. So I usually avoided Dave.
This day Dave came and asked me what I was looking for and I told
him something to read. He walked over to a rack, pulled down a book
called “A Tale of Three Kings” and said, “this
is a book about somebody who has trouble with the authority figure
in their life.” I sensed the voice of God in his voice and
my ear and took the book. I stayed up that night and finished it.
It was the first food for my soul in a long time. The next day I
was there looking for a new book suggestion by Dave. That year I
read 67 books, I guess I was making up for lost time. Some days
I would go in just to talk to Dave about what he and I were reading.
I found out that Dave had a Masters degree from Baptist seminary
and he was on a personal journey also. We became good friends and
journeyed together certainly clueless as to our destination.
Father Fred
I was still discipling the men of the church and we were beginning
to read some of the life changing books from my list. At last, hope
for our emptiness. My friend and I were still praying for our Rotary
Club men and I had become the unofficial pastor of the club, that
is until Father Fred showed up. Father Fred, a priest from our local
Catholic church, was this round man with a contagious personality
that the men flocked around. He tried to be friendly to me but he
was Catholic and I wasn’t going to call him “Father”.
Weeks went by and Father Fred became the center of attention. I
had to admit, there was something about him. One Thursday after
a meeting I was back in my office praying for “my men”
and the words “help me be like Father Fred” came out
of my mouth. Wow, my spirit knew he had something in him that I
wanted and needed. From that day forward I made internal peace with
Father Fred and our relationship developed. One of the books in
my list of 67 (#7) was Joshua, written by Father Girzone. I had
to hide that book in my office, as I didn’t want my Pastor
to see it. I was already suspect for being in Rotary and I mentioning
Father Fred on occasion. I didn’t want to push the envelope.
One morning I was feeling exceptionally open and began sharing with
my Pastor my surprise prayer request about desiring a life that
resembled Father Fred. He exploded and said that Father Fred wasn’t
even a Christian because he believed in transubstantiation and that
made him a cannibal. I immediately replied with Eph.2: 8,9 and said
if we can’t do anything to get saved, we can’t do anything
to unsave us. I have to admit I was surprised by his response and
mostly by the anger. God was changing me and it was becoming clearer
that I didn’t fit in like I used to.
What would Jesus Do?
The books were serving to change my thinking and in some cases I
was radically changing my thoughts toward the church. I was convinced
that Grace Baptist Church was not the church of the New Testament.
I realized that we were so steeped in rules that we had become legalistic
and according to the scriptures even “a little leaven”
was not a healthy thing. If I could find a church that totally believed,
preached, and taught the GRACE of God without a set of rules…
that would surely be THE church. By this point in my life I was
consumed with finding the church and wasn’t sleeping at night
and had very little peace. I was praying that God would open the
door and move me to another church or ministry.
One of the last of the 67 books was In His Steps by Charles Shelton.
The book is about a Pastor and congregation who decide they won’t
do anything in their lives until they first answer the question,
“What would Jesus Do?” Long story short, the Pastor
of the church has to resign, because the ministry of his church
is keeping him from doing the ministry. There it was: the answer.
In June of 2000, I walked into my pastor’s office and gave
him a 1-month notice of resignation. We announced it to our congregation
on that Sunday evening. It really was a bit awkward since I didn’t
have a “why” we were leaving and there was no “where”
I was going. We lived in a church parsonage and drove a church car.
Our three children attended the local Baptist Christian school.
Our whole life was church. Now our whole life was to change.
I give UP
Within 6 weeks of my last Sunday at Grace Baptist I was working
full time as CFO(accounting) for The Salvation Army in Cleveland
and part-time ministry at Church of The Open Door in Elyria, Ohio
as the assistant worship leader, a church that was 4000 in size.
This church was Baptist without the title or the legalism, at least
it appeared that way. During my two years at Open Door and due to
my involvement in the music ministry, the church was trying to get
me to be full time staff. I couldn’t do this. I needed some
room to work and have a ministry and for those two things to be
separate. Part of my baggage I took from Grace Baptist was the idea
that “I would never submit myself to another Pastor.”
I loved the ministry but no man was going to control what I thought
that was to be! Soon I found Open Door to be “the same”
just a little less legalistic. I still didn’t find it to be
the Church Christ promised in the New Testament. Facing too much
pressure to be “full-time” I had an opportunity to get
involved in another interim ministry and I took it! It too proved
to be another of the same. I came back to Brunswick at the part
time worship leader of The Brunswick Reform Church. This position
I took because it was a job I could do. By this time in my Christian
walk I was very independent and really didn’t have respect
for any denomination and the authority of any pastor. Finally in
1997 I resigned my last paid position on a church staff. For the
first time in our married life we had a choice of where to worship.
I looked at my wife and ask her “where do you want to go to
church?” We were impressed with a church that had taken over
the “lead” in the largest church in the county race
with Grace Baptist. The church was a four square church with a real
charismatic emphasis. The pastor was probably the best Bible teacher
I sat under and I had the utmost respect for him even though I nor
my wife were not charisma tics. We knew we would never be. I led
the choir for the Easter musical and did a few other things but
the empty feeling still loomed in my spirit. That led us to try
another church closer to our belief system. Having dinner with this
pastor one evening I found that this church was the forth reform
movement within the denomination. That blew the wind out of my sails.
We stopped going there too. During these times we tried worship
with some house churches and found that soon somebody was arguing
over who had authority and who didn’t. Finally in 1998 we
stopped going to church all together. We loved the Lord but couldn’t
find the church God promised. I went from a busy ministry to big
church to small house church to “I can worship God anywhere.”
A Strange Leading
During these 9 years after I left the full time ministry I stayed
in contact with Dave who was struggling equally. One time he asked
me “what if we don’t have peace because we are part
of the rebellion?” I said I didn’t understand. He said,
“you know, the reformation.” Well that would mean the
Catholic Church was right and after all, they were not even Christian.
I didn’t want to think of that, but it was a question that
I would come back to me on several occasions over the years. After
a year of going nowhere to church and reading to try and find direction,
I hit the bottom of emptiness. By this time Dave was looking at
the Catholic Church and I wasn’t ready for that. One day I
was watching TV and saw a news story on an apparition site in our
area. I had seen this before for several years and watched busses
of people go to this place. One of my 67 books was The Final Hour
by Michael Brown of which I thoroughly enjoyed. I loved biblical
prophecy and this was a great book. I was curious as to why Mary
would come to these Catholics but I had come to the conclusion that
she had to come because they wouldn’t recognize Jesus. And
after all God loved them enough to send them someone they would
believe. Anyhow, this year I was intrigued by the TV story and I
called the ministry and ask if they were a church (they said no)
and if they had a simple prayer service during the week. I just
wanted a simple service to pray without preaching and without a
pastor. They said Monday night was a good service for that. I called
my buddy Dave and we went only to find that it was a Rosary service.
What did I know about the rosary? What was I doing there? I had
felt lead to be there, it was a long drive, and besides nobody knew
me. I figured I could make it through the service. This ministry
was an ecumenical confraternity of the Catholic Church. Too many
bad words in that description: ecumenical and Catholic. Nevertheless,
I stayed and to my surprise decided to come back the next Monday.
We went every week for one year on Monday nights and one night Mary
whispered in my spirit “ it’s time to look at my church.”
I said “OK.” So much for my “I’ll never”
speech. She asked and I folded. She broke me with her gentle way.
So I began to attend with Dave at his parish and later on I met
a wonderful priest who ask to sponsored me into the church (knowing
full well that I wasn’t going to join his parish). He and
I met weekly for 2 hours for six months. I ask and discussed all
those issues important to Protestants. I came into the church at
the Easter vigil in 2001.
Home at Last
Today I’m a member of The Sacred Heart of Jesus parish in
Wadsworth Ohio. I’m involved with the RCIA program, active
in Legion of Mary, and a Eucharistic minister. I meet monthly with
a group in Cleveland called The Emmaus Roundtable, a lay group of
Christian apologists. I’ve just returned from an international
conference overseas called “Path to Rome.” This was
a wonderful conference filled with convert testimonies who have
come to the Catholic faith. It was very encouraging to me. My buddy
Dave and I had to opportunity to go together and we were asked to
give our testimonies at the conference. What an honor it was.
Well I’ve finally found the church that Jesus promised and
in the most unlikely place. Becoming a Catholic is a good way to
lose protestant friends. My kids, now at Christian college, had
to defend my actions to their Christian friends. They’d come
home and ask why I believed the distinctive differences that most
Protestants know. It’s been rough sometimes but it’s
so good to be home! My prayer is that my protestant brothers and
sisters find their “path to Rome” as well.
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